"Would you like to see it?"
"O, certainly, if it exists."
"Well, suppose we go down into the matter of expenditures, item by
item, and make some use of the common rules of arithmetic as we go
along. Your salary, to start with, is six hundred dollars, and you
play the same as I do for boarding and washing, that is, four and a
half dollars per week, which gives the sum of two hundred and
thirty-four dollars a year. What do your clothes cost?"
"A hundred and fifty dollars will cover everything!"
"Then you have two hundred and sixteen dollars left. What becomes of
that large sum?"
Hoffman dropped his eyes and went to thinking. Yes, what had become
of these two hundred and sixteen dollars? Here was the whole thing
in a nutshell.
"Cigars," said Hamilton. "How many do you use in a day?"
"Not over three. But these are a part of considered expenses. I am
not going to do without cigars."
"I am only getting down to the items," answered the friend. "We must
find out where the money goes. Three cigars a day, and, on an
average, one to a friend, which makes four."
"Very well, say four."
"At six cents apiece."
Hamilton took a slip of paper and made a few figures.
"Four cigars a day at six cents each, cost twenty-four cents. Three
hundred and sixty-five by twenty-four gives eighty-seven dollars and
sixty cents, as the cost of your cigars for a year."
"O, no! That is impossible," returned Hoffman, quickly.
"There is the calculation. Look at it for yourself," replied
Hamilton, offering the slip of paper.
"True as I live!" ejaculated the other, in unfeigned surprise. "I
never dreamed of such a thing. Eighty-seven dollars. That will never
do in the world. I must cut this down."
"A simple matter of figures. I wonder you had not thought of
counting the cost. Now I do not smoke at all. It is a bad habit,
that injures the health, and makes us disagreeable to our friends,
to say nothing of the expense. So you see how natural the result,
that at the end of the year I should have eighty-seven dollars in
band, while you had puffed away an equal sum in smoke. So much for
the cigar account. I think you take a game of billiards now and
then."
"Certainly I do. Billiards are innocent. I am very fond of the game,
and must have some recreation."
"Exactly so. The question now is, What do they cost?"
"Nothing to speak of. You can't make out a case here."
"We shall see. How often do you play?"
"Two or three times a week."
"Say twice a week."
"Yes."
"Very well. Let it be twice. A shilling a game must be paid for use
of the table?"
"Which comes from the loser's pocket. I, generally, make it a point
to win."
"But lose sometimes."
"Of course. The winning is rarely all on one side."
"One or two games a night?"
"Sometimes."
"Suppose we put down an average loss of three games in a week. Will
that be too high?"
"No. Call it three games a week."
"Or, as to expense, three shillings. Then, after the play, there
comes a glass of ale--or, it may be oysters."
"Usually."
"Will two shillings at week, taking one week with another, pay for
your ale and oysters?"
Hoffman did not answer until he had reflected for a few moments,
Then he said,--
"I'm afraid neither two nor four shillings will cover this item. We
must set it down at six."
"Which gives for billiards, ale and oysters, the sum of one dollar
and a shilling per week. Fifty-two by a dollar twelve-and-a-half,
and we have the sum of fifty-eight dollars and fifty cents. Rather a
serious item this, in the year's expense, where the income is only
six hundred dollars!"
Hoffman looked at his friend in a bewildered kind of way. This was
astounding.
"How often do you go to the theatre and opera?" Hamilton went on
with his questions.
"Sometimes once a week. Sometimes twice or thrice, according to the
attraction."
"And you take a lady now and then?"
"Yes."
"Particularly during the opera season?"
"Yes. I'm not so selfish as always to indulge in these pleasures
alone."
"Very well. Now for the cost. Sometimes the opera is one dollar. So
it costs two dollars when you take a lady."
"Which is not very often."
"Will fifty cents a week, averaging the year, meet this expense?"
After thinking for some time, Hoffman said yes, he thought that
fifty cents a week would be a fair appropriations.
"Which adds another item of twenty-six dollars a year to your
expenses."
"But would you cut off everything?" objected Hoffman. "Is a man to
have no recreations, no amusements?"
"That is another question," coolly answered Hamilton. "Our present
business is to ascertain what has become of the two hundred and
sixteen dollars which remained of your salary after boarding and
clothing bills were paid. That is a handsome gold chain. What did it
cost?"
"Eighteen dollars."
"Bought lately?"
"Within six months."
"So much more accounted for. Is that a diamond pin?"