“See, arm’d with great authority, they come,
And with great names and numbers strike us dumb;
Reason and common sense to names must fall,
And strength of argument’s no strength at all.”—DODSLEY.
I will now produce a few specimens of Puffing Advertisements, which
will show how sounding words are senselessly strung together to give an
air of importance to their originators, and leave my readers to judge
for themselves how far the public ought to be influenced by them. The
orthography (?) of these puffs is, in every way worthy of the authors
of them. They are given _pure_.
PUFF, No. 1.
Improved Eye Preservers, patronized by the Faculty of the Eye
Infirmaries for Cataract, and other improved glasses.
Mr. —— optician to the Queen,[12] Her Royal Highness the Duchess of
Kent, &c. sole Inventor of Optical Glasses, ground and shaded on
the Exact[13] Principle. Mr. —— has been for twenty-five years a
manufacturer, who has devoted his study with time to bring this branch
to perfection. Mr. —— has been earnestly solicited to pay a short
visit for a limited period. He has the honour to announce his arrival
from the London, Bristol, and Edinburgh Optical Establishments.
Spectacles for far and near distances, for those who have a full eye,
ground in a peculiar manner.
Sight is often abused by inexperienced persons taking upon themselves
the impracticable task of assisting it.
The Improved Spectacles, and other glasses, made by Mr. —— on the
authority of professional gentlemen, are the very best ever invented;
they have gone through a different process, which clarifies and makes
them the greatest improvement ever heard of by candle light or dull
day.
Mr. —— can tell by the physiology and figure of the eye when to give
the greatest assistance. His glasses are of a refractive quality;
so constructed as to effect the greatest relief; manufactured by
machinery of a new construction, and by a peculiar way. Turbid glasses
destroy the cornea and iris of the eye, and harbingers all ocular
diseases.
*** A book will be given for the use of the Improved Spectacles and
advice for all diseases.
Sight is injured by buying Spectacles of Shops, or other _chance_
places of sale, totally unacquainted with vision.
Ladies and Gentlemen whose eyes are weak will, by using these
extraordinary Spectacles for two or three hours a week, find their
matchless qualities, as they are ground in a peculiar way.
Mr. —— will call with a large Assortment.
LICENSED HAWKER, NO. ——
*** This Circular will be called for.
PUFF, No. 2.
The sight of the aged assisted by the Improved Spectacles, upon
unerring principles.
Persons have been going round copying Mr. ——’s Bill, who is the only
real original manufacturer of them?[14] it has been the cause of
many persons nearly losing their sight, Mr. —— has had fifteen years
practice on the eye: there is such a monstrous difference in these
improved glasses, that one pair will serve a person his whole life.
The sight of the aged assisted, the weak strengthened, and the perfect
improved, by Mr. ——’s improved spectacles.
Spectacles for those who have a full eye; the glasses are ground
in a peculiar manner. Blindness has took place from the ignorance
of persons wearing the glasses in common use, owing to the glasses
_drawing_ the eyes. These glasses are highly recommended by
professional gentlemen, who view them to be the greatest improvement
ever known; they have gone through a different process, which
clarifies them, and makes them the greatest improvement by candle
light or dull day, qualifying you to see the greatest length of time
at one sitting; those persons whose eyes are weak, by using a pair of
those extraordinary preservers for two or three hours will find they
are ground in a peculiar manner.
A treatise will be given for the use of the Improved glasses, with
advice gratis for all diseases of the eye. Mr. —— flatters himself he
can perform the most difficult cures in the sight with the greatest
ease; there is no complaint of the eye but he is acquainted with. Mr.
—— cautions the public against a person who is selling Spectacles
which pretend to be his.
Mr. —— will call with a large Assortment of Improved glasses, which
will give satisfaction.
LICENSED HAWKER.
PUFF, No. 3.
Caution against a person taking the name of Messrs. ——, the
professional opticians: and imposing upon ladies and gentlemen in
selling shameful spectacles, as Messrs. —— improved, and charging
forty shillings, while Messrs. —— only charges for the same twenty
shillings, or, with pebbles, only fifteen shillings.
PERMANENT RELIEF
for all disorders effecting the eyes, and cases of dimness. Were it
necessary,
A HOST OF CASES
might be named by which persons, distinguished, have, by their
improved scientific and successful using of their
IMPROVED GLASSES
been much benefitted. The honourable patronage noticed at the head of
this article, and their hourly increasing patronage, are proofs of
their great skill and talent for
ALL DISORDERS OF THE SIGHT.
They have the honour to be professionally consulted by the chief
families in the empire. Imperfect sight can only be handled properly
by those who by deep study have a talent for
THE ORGANS OF SIGHT.
Many people injure their sight by buying improper spectacles, whereas
it is
THE ESPECIAL OBJECT
of Messrs. —— to rest the claim of patronage on those numerous persons
of the first quality.
THE NOBILITY AND GENTRY
May be suited with Spherical Pellucid Glasses, of every class,
according to their exalted rank.
THE MERCANTILE AND LABOURING CLASSES
may have their daily toil sweetened by these improved glasses;
administered, in cases of distress, on terms accommodating to their
situations in society.
LICENSED HAWKER, No. ——, A.
PUFF, No. 4.
For a short time only.
Mr. ——, Optician to their Royal Highnesses the Prince and Princess of
——, King and Queen of ——, has the honour to inform the nobility and
visitors of ——, he has arrived from the London Royal Eye Infirmary,
for a short time only. A reference to the distinguished patronage he
boasts, will convince the public he possesses great skill in the Optic
Line, and is without a parallel when such organs as the eyes is liable
to evils from common glass and pebbles, one being no better than the
other! It is his imperative wish to guard the public against them;
therefore, he announces his stay will be for a short period.
LICENSED HAWKER, No. ——, B.
PUFF, No. 5.
MAY BE CONSULTED,
Mynheer ——, Practical and Professional Optician, Surgeon-Oculist and
Surgeon-Dentist, announces his arrival. In all recent or chronic
weakness, a perfect cure is his far-famed Keysell Spectacles, which
have the density and translucency of a diamond, and refractive
preserving powers, being composed from rare crystals, produced
from the Carpathian Rocks, so highly recommended by the faculty.
Mynheer M —— being based upon the greatest perfection which the
dento-chirurgical art can be carried, can renovate all decay by
his succedaneum, which all the faculty of the continental cities
recommend. In two seconds it removes pain, and lasts many years.
But it is to the Keysell Spectacles and Terrence Teeth that he would
_draw the eyes_ of his friends to: they are fixed in the mouth so
that it is impossible to remove them without wires. They increase the
beauty by their elegant matchlessness.
LICENSED HAWKER, No. ——
PUFF, No. 6.
POSITIVELY FOR THIS WEEK ONLY.
Messrs. —— have succeeded, after fifteen years’ professional practice,
and devoting their whole lives to the optic line, in bringing out
a wonderful translucency for the organs of sight, coupled with a
conductor for deafness. This wonderful discovery brings faulty hearing
to perfection. They are so arranged and combined with scientific
principles, with the long practice of the inventors, that they will
allow such an extent of relief that will quite astonish every beholder.
They are anxious not to be confounded. There are other people who
pretend to the skill of Messrs. ——, therefore the public are liable
to be imposed upon. Inferior spectacles can be had of persons calling
themselves opticians, but Messrs. —— think it is scarcely necessary to
state, that their improved Translucency for Spectacles, and Conductors
for Deafness, are manufactured under their own eyes, upon spherical
principles.
LICENSED HAWKERS, No. ——
One of the Firm may be professionally consulted from 10 to 6.
PUFF, No. 7.
IMPORTANT DISCOVERY.
Mr. ——, Professional Optician, patronized by the faculty of London,
Brighton, Bath, Edinburgh, Glasgow, and Paris.
Spectacles ground and shaded on the exact principle of truth, by Mr.
——, the celebrated Optician from the London Optical Establishment,
established for a number of years.
Mr. ——, in consequence of the flattering encouragement he received
from the first families, he has established himself here for a short
time. He has made the study of vision his own, and can remedy any
organic defect, neglect, disease, or imperfection. Many individuals of
rank and royalty acknowledge the immense improvement. Mr. —— will send
a treatise, explaining every thing in the line, to every house, and
will attend himself with a splendid quantity of improved glasses.
As several persons travel through the country in his name, he begs
the public to look at his patronage at the top of his circular. He
is the sole Inventor of the Improved glasses. They have gone through
an elaborate process, they are therefore clarified and pellucid. They
throw a clearer light, and more brilliant than any others.
*** At home from 2 till 6.
LICENSED HAWKER, No. ——
_Please to observe the brass plate in the window._
How often, too, accompanying such advertisements as the preceding, do
we find paragraphs, in the laudatory style, to some such effect as the
following (see also page 44). It requires but little penetration to
arrive at a conclusion as to who are the authors of them.
PUFF PARAGRAPH, No. 1.—We again call the attention of our readers
to Mr. —— and his valuable assortment of Spectacles. They are
manufactured with extraordinary care, and constructed upon the
strictest scientific principles. M. —— has for a long period past
devoted his attention exclusively to that important branch of
optics—the human eye;—and the proficiency he has attained of the
complicated structure of that noble organ has enabled him to adapt
glasses to every degree of defective vision. But the highest panegyric
which can be pronounced upon the skill of this artist, is the
unprecedented number of applications which have been made to him.
Our readers will observe, that his stay is restricted to a few days.
* * * * *
PUFF PARAGRAPH, No. 2.—We have more than once had occasion to allude
to the surreptitious conduct of individuals, who are eager to profit
by the established reputation of our resident opticians, Messrs. ——,
who are about making arrangements for visiting all the neighbouring
towns, making this place their permanent residence.[15]
The “Messrs. ——,” the “resident,” the “distinguished,” decamped at the
expiration of three weeks.
FOOTNOTES:
[12] The royal arms appear at the head of this elegant announcement.
(Query) Ought not the proper authorities to prohibit such vile use
being made of the name of royalty.
[13] Query—_Exaction_ principle.
[14] Were those individuals really _manufacturers_, they would not
require a Licence to vend their articles. See Act of Parliament, 50
Geo. III. cap. 41, sec. 23. enacts: “Provided always, and it is hereby
enacted, that nothing in this Act shall extend to prohibit any person
or persons from selling any printed papers, licensed by authority,
or any fish, fruit, or victuals; nor to hinder the _real worker or
workers, or maker or makers_ of any goods, wares, or manufactures
of Great Britain, or his, her, or their children, apprentices, or
known agents or servants usually residing with such real workers or
makers only, from carrying abroad or exposing to sale, and selling by
retail or otherwise, any of the said goods, wares, or manufactures
of his, her, or their own making in any mart, market, or fair, and
in every city, borough, town corporate, and market town. Nor any
tinkers, coopers, glaziers, plumbers, harness makers, or other persons
usually trading in mending kettles, tubs, household goods, or harness
whatsoever, from going about and carrying with him, or them, proper
materials for mending the same.”
[15] It is gratifying, however, to find that many editors of newspapers
repudiate the iniquitous system, perceiving that their readers might
justly look upon them as participators in the fraud.
One of the puffing, _professional_ licensed hawkers entered the
office of the Reading newspaper, and with the authoritative air of an
Alexander, desired that his announcement should appear in the front
column, and the _usual_ laudatory paragraph in another part of the
paper. He was informed that his advertisement could be inserted, but
that the proprietors had determined never to admit such insidious
clap-trap notices, which, while they injured the resident tradesman,
and were looked upon as the _bona fide_ opinions of the editor,
generally referred to matters of which he could not honestly express
a favourable opinion. The pedlar stood aghast! “What,” said he, “not
put in a paragraph? Why, I’d sooner pay for a good paragraph than care
about the advertisement at all.”
His _professional_ visit was of unusually short duration, finding it
impossible to bribe the press to trumpet forth his praise.