“Allured by hope of plunder, and intent
By force to rob, by fraud to circumvent,”—ÆNEIS.
I shall give a few instances of the manner in which advertising
adventurers rack their ingenuity to dress up their announcements in
the most catching and attractive style; and, failing to find language
sufficiently striking and pointed to arrest attention, scruple not to
manufacture terms and apply similies, which, however preposterous and
absurd they are seen to be when examined, yet answer their purpose of
mystifying the public, and inducing a purchase of the vaunted articles.
We have only to glance at the columns of our newspapers, and the covers
of periodical publications, for illustrations of the extent to which
the system of scheming, falsehood, and trickery, termed puffing, is
carried. In one specious and lofty-toned announcement we are told that
the most splendid discovery of the present age is now admitted, by the
most unquestionable (?) testimonials, to be “Grindstone Snuff,” which
is warranted to cure gutta serena, cataract, and all other diseases of
the eyes, while a single pinch scares away headache and nervousness!
Another startles the weatherwise by his impudent pretension to be the
_only_ maker of barometers and thermometers in London; whereas, if
the real truth were disclosed, it would be found that his connexion
with the trade consisted in some such occupation as engraving the
index plates of the instrument for his employers, who surely have the
greater right to be considered real makers. Balsams, cough drops,
rheumatism and gout dispersers, pills, cerates, syrups, shaving soaps,
cornplasters, and heal-alls—all boast of the wondrous cures effected,
and testimonials received. The long list of essences and decoctions,
from vinegar to honey, also have the names of distinguished gentlemen
of the faculty, the royal family, nobility, clergy, and gentry,
appended as bearing testimony to their surprising virtues. “Highgate’s
universal irresistible Ointment” we are informed, is an invaluable
specific for all disorders.
“But who shall decide when doctors disagree?”
A counter address denounces the same individual as an _uncertificated
impostor_, who has no testimonials of his own, but has filched extracts
from the only real original certificates and testimonials of “Monsieur
Holabolo’s genuine Panacea,” which alone is a radical cure for all
internal and external complaints. Another ointment puffer, whose
nostrum is warranted to cure the plague and cholera, among other evils,
occupies two columns of a newspaper with cures said to be effected
by it; and these are flanked with no less than seventy-six names of
surgeons and oculists, who, among others, testify to its monstrous
virtues!![6]
Now in all these quack advertisements, we find the names, titles,
and residences of the professional gentlemen correctly given, which,
possibly may be of some consideration. Indeed, I know it is to some
few an advantage not to be overlooked, as their names are thus kept
before the public eye free of expense to them, and they are, although
indirectly, as effectually puffed into notice as the quack himself.
Without charging the respectable and high-minded members of the
profession with entering into a compact, and designedly lending the
sanction of their name and office to these abominable schemes of
imposition, and granting full force to the apologies they offer as to
its “being customary;” “that the profession generally do it;” “that
to interfere would be expensive and troublesome;” and that “it is
the fault of the public, who suffer themselves to be deluded by such
shallow artifices,” I conceive it to be the bounden duty of every man
of honour, when those tricksters employ his name without his sanction
or authority, to adopt measures to disabuse that very large section
of society, who attach full credit to statements appearing under such
auspices.
But it is with spectacle advertisers that we are more immediately
concerned, and it is therefore essential to convince every individual
of ordinary capacity, that he can, by the exercise of common sense, and
the moderate use of his reasoning faculties, safely and judiciously
determine for himself, when spectacles are required, and what powers
and qualities they should possess; either when the eyes first require
restorative aid, or at any subsequent period of life.
Amber spectacles have been bepraised and forced into notice as much
as any of these quack specifics. I consider that the apathy and
indifference manifested by those who know the statements put forth
to be a tissue of falsehoods, are extremely reprehensible. No wonder
that thousands have been tricked and trifled with when such novel
and plausible pretensions have remained unchallenged, and those
who know them to be hollow and deceitful artifices have suffered
them to remain unexposed. Amber is so soft that a proper degree of
polish cannot be given to it to make it suitable for spectacles. The
streaks, specks, veins, and irregularities in it may be detected by
the most casual observer. Glass and pebbles assimilate closely to the
composition of the eye itself, but amber only imitates its diseased and
decayed appearance. When the powers of the eye begin to decline, the
crystalline humour becomes somewhat yellow, and as the decay proceeds
this tinge increases.[7] Amber is strongly charged with electricity;
it has an affinity for oil, grease, and human perspiration; “and it was
from amber that the electrical fluid was first obtained.”[8]
Since writing the above, I have received, by the medium of the twopenny
post, a printed circular, headed, “_Amber Spectacles._—M——having
experienced from the use of amber spectacles that which is expressed by
the following eminent gentlemen, considers it to be his duty to caution
the public against the use of them:— “Amber is a soft substance, and
it is impossible to form it into a perfect lens, and a lens improperly
constructed would prove most injurious to vision. Amber, in a moderate
heat, becomes sticky; and by cleaning it in a short time, the polish
wears off. It is also easily scratched, and soon loses the little
transparency it possesses. Glue, as to substance and colour, is quite
equal to it; and although purchasers pay an enormous price for amber
spectacles, yet they incur a great risk of materially injuring their
vision.”[9]
If there even were any merit or superiority in amber spectacles, be
it observed, that the persons who prate about _their_ discovery, are
not the parties who originated or introduced the article. I have in
my possession several which were first brought to this country, and
sold by a Prussian mechanic, long before he came in contact with
individuals, who took a shameful advantage of his forlorn situation,
and, after deluding him with specious promises, reduced him to their
own terms. The poor man found remonstrances to be unavailing; and as he
knew that redress was both uncertain and expensive, he refrained from
farther interference, sighing as he said,—
“My poverty and not my will consents.”
Cautions respecting amber spectacles have frequently appeared in the
daily newspapers. On the 17th of APRIL, 1838, the “_Sun_” contained a
long advertisement, lauding their extraordinary virtues. In the same
page, followed an exposé of the puff; and in another part of the paper
was the following paragraph, made to appear as the editor’s remarks:—
“An advertisement appeared in our paper of the 9th instant, calling
into question the merits of patent amber spectacles, which have been
so highly recommended for the preservative and assisting qualities for
defective vision, by men of high character and professional reputation.
The names of Messrs. Dollond and Curtis being used, it is right that
the public should be apprised of the ascertained fact, that it owes its
insertion, not to the knowledge of those gentlemen, but to the personal
pique of interested individuals.”
Persons who are somewhat acquainted with the manner in which such
paragraphs are got up, well know what importance is to be attached
to them; the uninitiated, however, are led to suppose that Messrs.
Dollond and Curtis were not of the opinions expressed, but that some
of the trade, jealous of the advertisers’ “high character,” had
maliciously questioned the “superior refractive property,” “light
modifying,” “cool,” and “soothing” attributes of the admirable amber.
But what ought we to think of the professional and literary characters
who countenance the system of fraud and delusion practised by puffing
advertisers. We might in charity suppose that the signatures of those
eminent persons were surreptitiously obtained; and in that case, the
straight-forward course they ought to adopt, should be publicly to
disavow all connection with the cheats. But if they really hold the
opinions attributed to them, we are bound to declare that, opposed as
such idle notions are to truth and common sense, their presumption
is ridiculous in publishing opinions on a subject of which they are
grossly ignorant—ay, grossly ignorant! however capable and popular they
may be in their own professions. Indeed many names of able and skilful
surgeons are enumerated in the list of patrons and testimonial writers,
who would smile at the effrontery of self-dubbed opticians, and the
credulity of the public, conscious that they had no pretensions to any
superior acquaintance with the subject. The ingenious and talented
Dr. Neill Arnott remarks, in his “Elements of Physics,”—“Will it be
believed that _there are medical men_ who neither understand mechanics
nor hydraulics, nor pneumatics, nor optics, nor acoustics, beyond the
merest routine; and that systems of medical education are put forth
at this day, which do not even mention the department of physics or
natural philosophy;”
But a general diffusion of knowledge is changing the condition of
society, and elevating the human character. At first we almost tremble
at our own boldness, in demanding proofs of the capability of our
teachers; but the mind, gathering power, and unfolding its strength,
with every opportunity for its manifestation, insists on having
positive proofs, rather than vague pretensions, and demands solid
information, instead of empty nothingness, however gorgeously arrayed,
or pompously introduced.
FOOTNOTES:
[6] As for operators on the teeth, they have multiplied exceedingly in
the land. Their successful career is a _biting_ satire on the credulity
of their supporters.
_American Quackery._—The cost for advertising quack medicines in the
United States, annually, is estimated at 200,000 dollars. A peck of
pills per day is considered necessary for Boston, and half a bushel
for New York. On an average, only one in twenty-five who take them
is actually sick; and the proportion of those dispensing with some
necessary of life to purchase nostrums, which do them a positive
injury, is in the ratio of eighty-seven to every one hundred throughout
the country.
[7] Dr. Petit found the crystalline in the eye of a man eighty years of
age so yellow as to resemble amber.
“When exposed to heat it becomes soft, swells, bubbles up, is apt to
take fire, and burns with a yellowish flame.”—_Heron’s Chemistry._
“It gives out electricity by friction. It is an indurated vegetable
juice, and not produced by the laws of crystallization, but by the
same causes which influence the mechanical condition of gum arabic,
and other resinous substances. Insects are often found embedded in
it.”—_Parkes’s Chemistry._
It is a fact, that to silence such objections, a great improvement in
amber, very pure and costly, was announced; this was nothing more nor
less than yellow plate-glass, the same as is used in stained-glass
windows. I have several specimens of these “superlative patent amber”
in my possession.
[8] Dr. Neill Arnott.
[9] Dollond—Curtis.