Am I dead? Surely it _was_ death, or an oblivion that equalled it? But
no--I live! I am conscious that I live. Light is falling upon my
eyes--thought is returning to my soul! Am I upon earth? or is it
another world in which I awake? It is a bright world--with a sky of
blue, and a sun of gold; but are they the sky and sun of the earth?
Both may belong to a future world? I can see no earth--neither fields,
nor trees, nor rocks, nor water--nought but the blue canopy and the
golden orb. Where is the earth? It should be under and around me, but
I cannot see it. Neither around nor beneath can I look--only upward and
forward--only upon the sun and the sky! What hinders me from turning?
Is it that I sleep, and dream? Is the incubus of a horrid nightmare
upon me? Am I, like Prometheus, chained to a rock face upward? No--not
thus; I feel that I am standing--erect as if nailed against a wall! If
I am not dreaming, I am certainly in an upright attitude. I feel my
limbs beneath me; while my arms appear to be stretched out to their full
extent, and held as in the grasp of some invisible hand! My head, too,
is fixed: I can neither turn nor move it. A cord traverses across my
cheeks. There is something between my teeth. A piece of wood it
appears to be? It gags me, and half stifles my breathing! Am I in
human hands? or are they fiends who are thus clutching me?
Anon my senses grow stronger, but wild fancies still mock me: I am yet
uncertain if it be life! What are those dark objects passing before my
eyes? They are birds upon the wing--large birds of sable plumage. I
know them. They are vultures. They are of the earth. Such could not
exist in a region of spirits? Ah! those sounds! they are weird enough
to be deemed unearthly--wild enough to be mistaken for the voices of
demons. From far beneath, they appear to rise--as if from the bowels of
the earth, sinking and swelling in prolonged chorus. I know and
recognise the voices: they are human. I know the chaunted measure: it
is the death-song of the Indian! The sounds are suggestive. I am not
dreaming--I am not dead. I am awake, and on the earth.
Memory comes to my aid. By little and little, I begin to realise my
situation. I remember the siege--the smoke--the confused conflict--all
that preceded it, but nothing after. I thought I had been killed. But
no--I live--I am a captive. My comrades--are _they_ alive? Not likely.
Better for them, if they be not. The consciousness of life need be no
comfort to me. In that wild chaunt there is breathing a keen spirit of
vengeance. Oh! that I had not survived to hear it! Too surely do I
know what will follow that dirge of death. It might as well be my own!
I am in pain. My position pains me--and the hot sun glaring upon my
cheek. My arms and limbs smart under thongs that bind too tightly. One
crosses my throat that almost chokes me, and the stick between my teeth
renders breathing difficult. There is a pain upon the crown of my head,
and my skull feels as if scalded. Oh Heavens! _have they scalped me_?
With the thought, I endeavour to raise my hand. In vain: I cannot budge
either hand or arm. Not a finger can I move; and I am forced to remain
in horrid doubt as to whether the _hair_ be still upon my head--with
more than a probability that it is gone! But how am I confined? and
where? I am fast bound to something: every joint in my body is fixed
and immobile, as if turned to stone! I can feel thongs cutting sharply
into my skin; and my back and shoulders press against some supporting
substance, that seems as hard as rock. I cannot tell what it is. I
cannot even see my own person--neither breast nor body--neither arms nor
legs--not an inch of myself. The fastening over my face holds it
upturned to the sky; and my head feels firmly set--as if the vertebral
column of my neck had become ossified into a solid mass!
And where am I in this stringent attitude? I am conscious that I am a
captive and bound--a captive to Indians--to Arapahoes. Memory helps me
to this knowledge; and furthermore, that I should be, if I have not been
carried elsewhere, in the valley of the Huerfano--by the Orphan Butte.
Ha! why should I not be _upon_ the butte--on its summit? I remember
going down to the plain; and there being struck senseless to the earth.
For all that, I may have been brought up again. The savages may have
borne me back to satisfy some whim? They often act in such strange
fashion with, their vanquished victims. I must be on some eminence:
since I cannot see the earth before me? In all likelihood, I am on the
top of the mound. This will account for my not having a view of the
ground. It will also explain the direction in which the voices are
reaching me. Those who utter them are below upon the plain?
The death-song ceases: and sounds of other import are borne upward to my
ears. I hear shouts that appear to be signals--words of command in the
fierce guttural of the Arapaho. Other sounds seem nearer. I
distinguish the voices of two men in conversation. They are Indian
voices. As I listen they grow more distinct. The speakers are
approaching me--the voices reach me, as if rising out of the ground
beneath my feet! They draw nigher and nigher. They are close to where
I stand--so close that I can feel them breathing upon my body--but still
I see them not. Their heads are below the line of my vision. I feel a
hand--knuckles pressing against my throat; the cold blade of a knife is
laid along my cheek; its steel point glistens under my eyes. I shudder
with a horrid thought. I mistake the purpose. I hear the "wheek" that
announces the cutting of a tight-drawn cord. The thong slackens, and
drops off from my cheeks. My head is free: but the piece of wood
between my teeth--it remains still gagging me firmly. I cannot get rid
of that.
I can now look below, and around me. I perceive the correctness of my
conjecture. I am on the butte--upon its summit. I am close to the edge
of the platform, and command a full view of the valley below. A painted
Arapaho is standing on each side of me. One is a common warrior, with
nought to distinguish him from his fellows. The other is a chief. Even
without the insignia of his rank, the tall gaunt form and lupine visage
are easily identified. They are those of Red-Hand the truculent
chieftain of the Arapahoes.
Now for the first time do I perceive that I am naked. From the waist
upward, there is not a rag upon me--arms, breast, and body all bare!
This does not surprise me. It is natural that the robbers should have
stripped me--that they should at least have taken my coat, whose yellow
buttons are bright gold in the eyes of the Indian. But I am now to
learn that for another, and very different, purpose have they thus
bereft me of my garments. Now also do I perceive the _fashion_ in which
I am confined. I am erect upon my feet, with arms stretched out to
their full fathom. My limbs are lashed to an upright post; and, with
the same thong, are my arms tied to a transverse beam. _I am bound upon
a cross_!