I awoke with sonorous cries, and sounds of bells, and songs of
sellers, and the dim ringing of wheels on a frosty soil. Hard and
white the day-dews stood upon the windows; the sky was clear as light
itself, and my soul sprang as into the arms of freedom. It occurred to
me that I was perhaps late, and I dressed fast. About half-way to the
end, I heard the violins begin, both of them; but now they
outrageously contradicted each other in different directions, and I
could keep by my ear to neither.
I made the utmost haste, but, as in most cases, it was least speed. I
pulled off a button, and then a shoestring came loose; I had to begin
very nearly all over again. And when at length equipped, I recalled
the incarceration of the previous night, and wondered how long I
should stay there; but a sudden impulse sent me to the door, and
immediately it yielded to my hand. "He has been here, then," I
thought, "and has not awakened me, because I was tired last night. How
good, to be sure! Not at all what I expected." I sallied forth to the
landing; it was like a room itself, but still dark,--dark for
day-time; and I could only make out its extent by the glimmer through
the crack beneath every door. I listened at each first, not knowing at
the instant which was which; but the violins asserted themselves, and
I chose one to unlock on my own responsibility. I had made a mistake
here, and come into the untenanted organ-room where we had supped.
There the wintry light reigned full, and freshened up the old tints
till they gleamed no more dusky, but rich.
The pictures and wreaths of other years gave welcome to me, that magic
child especially; nor less the harpsichord unopened, quiet, while
those sounds of younger violins broke through and through my fancy,
and made my heart swell up till I could have fainted with emotion.
But of all that pressed upon me, the crowning sense was of that silent
organ lost in the shady roof; the sun playing upon those columned
tubes, and the black-white key-board clustering to hide its wealth of
"unheard melodies," sweeter than those "_heard_" as one has sung, who
can surely never have _heard_ them!
The chamber had been brushed and swept, but still the fine dust flew,
and caught the sunshine on its eddies like another shade of light.
There was no one in the room, and, my first flush over, I felt alone
and idle. The table was spread for breakfast, as I discovered, last of
all; and I question whether such coffee as stood upon the stove so
cosily could be surpassed even in Arabia. It was so perfect that it
stood the test of sugarlessness, which I preferred, if possible.
Standing to eat and drink in all haste, a speculation stung me,--where
was my violin? It had not even slept with me; I had missed it in my
room,--that baby of mine, that doll, that ladykin! I looked
everywhere,--at least everywhere I could; the closet-door I did not
try, justly supposing that it was not my place to do so; and at last I
concluded to attack my fellow-pupils.
I found my small friend's door very easily, and turned the key to
admit myself. The room, to my amazement, was precisely like my own,
even to that bed in the recess; and the inmate was not alarmed, for
he evidently expected me.
"Oh!" he said, after putting up his lips to mine, "Marc has your study
for this morning; the master gave it him to keep till you were ready.
But mind you lock me in again when you get out, or he will flog you
and me."
"Did he ever flog you yet?"
"No, and he does not call it 'flog;' but he did tie Marc's hands
together one day, and he said it was the same to him to do that as for
an English master to flog."
"A very mild type, I think. But who is Marc?"
"Marc Iskar; you saw him last night. He won't speak to me; he says I
am too young."
"So much the better for you. And what is your little name?"
"I am Starwood Burney;[14] but I should like you to call me Star, as
my papa does."
"That I will, my German aster!"
"Aster is Latin; I have begun Latin. But do please go, I have so much
to do, and he will be so very angry,--so very, very cross!"
"How dare you say so, when he has never even tied your hands together!
You should not be hurt nor disgraced, little Starling; if I were
there, I would be punished instead, for I have twice your strength.
But you should try to love him while you fear him."
"You speak like a great man, and I will try. But please to go now, for
I find this very hard."
I left him, having selfishly shrunk from the necessity to interrogate
Iskar.
I stole to his door. I was really electrified as I stood,--not with
envy, but with amazement! He was already a wonderful mechanist. Such
sallies of execution were to me tremendous, but his tone did not charm
me, and I imagined it might be the defect of his instrument that it
sounded thin and cold, unlike my notion altogether, and frosty as the
frost without. Clearly and crisply it saluted me as I entered. The
room was like ours,--the little one's and mine; but it was gayly
adorned with pictures of the lowest order (such as are hawked about
the streets in England), and only conspicuous from their unnaturally
vivid coloring. They were chiefly figures of ladies dancing, or of
gentlemen brandishing the sword and helmet,--theatrical subjects, as I
afterwards discovered. Iskar was sitting before his desk, and had his
face from me. As I approached, my awe was doubled at his performance,
for I beheld Corelli's solos. I had heard of those from Davy. Another
desk was also near him, and a second violin-case stood upon the floor.
I asked him very modestly whether they were mine. He replied, without
regarding me, "That sheet of paper has your exercise upon it, and if
you cannot play it, you are to look in Marenthal's Prolusion, which is
in the bureau under the desk. You are to take all these things into
your own room."
There was something in the tones of the blouse--he was yet in
blouse--that irritated me intensely. His voice was defined as that of
his violin, and to the full as frosty. I was only too happy to retire.
Then, sitting upon my own bed, I examined the exercise. It was
drearily indistinct,--a copy, and I could make nothing of it. The mere
Germanisms of the novel rests and signs appalled me. I could neither
handle the violin nor steady the bow; but I had carefully borne in
mind the methods I had observed when I had had opportunity, and I
stooped to take this child of music from its cradle. It was no more
mine own than I had expected; an awkward bulky frame it had, and I did
not feel to love it nor to bring it to my heart. Something must be
done, I felt, and I returned to the organ-room. I found the Prolusion,
as Iskar said,--an awfully Faustish tome, with rusty clasps, the
letters worn off the back. I was in doom certainly. It was close black
national type, and I pored and bored myself over it,--leaf after
leaf,--until, blissfully, I arrived at the very exercise prepared for
me. It was presented in illustration, and there were saw-like
enunciations of every step; but half the words were unknown to me, and
I grew rigid with despair. "Oh!" I cried aloud, "if some one would
only tell me! if Davy were only here! if Lenhart Davy knew!" Still I
slackened not in my most laughable labor, endeavoring to interpret
such words as I could not translate by their connection with others I
did know, by their look and make,--their euphony. I was vocalizing
them very loud, and had made out already the first position, when a
rattle of the closet lock turned me all over cold. I listened, it came
again; a tremendous "So!" followed, and the door, opening, displayed
Aronach himself in the glories of a morning-gown. How could he have
got in there, and how have come out upon me so suddenly without any
warning? and above all, how would he behave to me, finding me so
ignorant? I believe that on account of my very ignorance I found favor
in his sight,--he truly wise; for, merely alluding to my condition in
this form, "Thou hast shown thyself faithful, only keep thy faith," he
bade me bring my traps in there, and assured me--merely by his
aspect--that he would clear every stone from my path.
When I returned he was standing between the organ and the window: a
grander picture could not be perpetrated of the life-long laboring
and, for love's sake, aspiring artist. His furrowed forehead was clear
as rutted snow in the serene of sunlight as he appeared then; and
through all the sternness with which he spoke I discerned the
gentleness of art's impression. And after the most careful initiation
into the simplest mechanical process, he dismissed me to work alone,
nor did I relax from that one exercise for a week.
But a great deal chanced in that week besides. We spent each day
alike, except Sunday. On other days we breakfasted very soon after it
was light, on milk porridge, or bread and coffee. But sometimes
Aronach would breakfast alone in his cave, which was that very closet
I mentioned, and in which the day must have been developed about as
decidedly as beneath the ground. However, he had his lamp in there,
and his private escritoire, besides all kinds of books and papers,
that were seldom produced in our presence, and then only one at a
time.
The kitten's basket was there too, and there were shelves upon
shelves, containing napery and all sorts of oddities, that had their
nest there after being hatched in crannies of the old man's brain. The
first time I took a peep I discerned my own violin, carefully enough
housed, but quite above my reach. I fumed a little, of course, but did
not betray myself; and it was well I did not, as Iskar and little
Starwood both practised on common fiddles scraping could not rasp, nor
inexperience injure.
After breakfast we worked till noon under lock and key. At noon we
dined, and at two o'clock were sent to walk. I do not know whether I
put down Aronach as a tyrant. He must, at least, be so written, in
that his whims, no less than his laws, were unalterable. A whim it
certainly was that we should always walk one way, and the same
distance every day, unless he sent us on any special errand. This
promenade, though monotonous, became dear to me, and I soon learned to
appreciate the _morale_ of that _regime_. We could not go to Cecilia,
which had its village only two miles off, and whose soft blue gentle
hill was near enough to woo, and distant enough to tempt the dreamer,
nor would our guide at hand permit us to approach the precinct
consecrated to such artistic graduation as we had not yet attained.
In the mornings Aronach was either absent abroad instructing, or
writing at home. But we never got at him, and were not suffered to
apply to him until the evening. As we could not play truant unless we
had battered down the doors, so we could not associate with each other
unreservedly, except in our walks; and on those occasions, pretty
often, our master came too, calling on his friends as he passed their
houses, while we paraded up and down; but whenever he was by our side,
silent as a ruminant ox, and awful as Apis to the Egyptians for
Starwood and for me. When he came not, it would have been charming,
but for Iskar, who was either too fine to talk, or else had nothing at
his command to say, and whose deportment was so drearily sarcastic
that neither of us, his companions, ever ventured an original or a
sympathizing remark.
On my first Sunday I took Starwood to church,--that is, we preceded
Aronach, who was lecturing Iskar, and sent us on beforehand. The
little one was bright this morning, and as I looked upon his
musically built brow, and trembling color, and expressive eyes,--blue
as the air at evening, and full of that sort of light,--I could not
make clear to myself how it was that he so disliked his work, and
drooped beneath it in the effort to master his frail body by his
struggling soul. We had turned into the place of the church,--the
leafless lindens were whispering to it,--and we rested by the stone
basin, while the bells came springing through the frost-clear day
like--yet how unlike--England! I was afraid my small companion would
be cold, and I put one of his long little hands into my pocket with my
own, while I made him tuck the other into both his warm gloves, till,
by degrees,--having coaxed and comforted him to the utmost,--he told
me more about himself than I had known before. He was extremely timid
to talk, shy as a fawn, even to me. But at last I made out
satisfactorily the secret of his antipathy to his violin. I cannot
remember all his words,--besides, they were too infantine to write;
but he described himself as having spent that most forlorn of all
untended childhoods which befalls the motherless offspring of the
needy artist in England. His father had lived in London and taught
music, but had left him constantly alone; and I also discovered he had
been, and was still, an organist. The child assured me his mamma had
been a beautiful player, but that no one ever opened her grand piano,
which stood in a parlor above the street.
"I always knew I was to grow up to music," said Starwood; "for mamma
had told me so, and she taught me my notes when I was only four years
old. When she died, no one taught me; and while papa was out all day,
I played with my toys and sat upon the stairs. One day some men came
up and nearly fell over me. I ran into the parlor, and they came too.
They knocked the piano about, and began to take its legs off. I called
out to them, 'You must not touch that,--it is my mamma's!'
"They did not take any notice, but made a great noise, and at last
they carried it away--all of it--upon their shoulders. I saw it go
downstairs, and I sat there all day and cried; I was very miserable, I
know. Papa came home at last; when I was so unhappy I thought I must
die, and it was all in the dark, and very cold. He carried me in his
arms, and made me tell him why I cried. I said 'Because of the piano;'
and he told me he had sold it because it was so large, and because he
wanted the money. I know he was very poor, Charles; for a gentleman
who was very kind to him gave him some more money to send me here, or
I could not have come. But I wish he had kept me at home and taught me
himself."
"But how," I replied, "can you be sorry now? We ought to be most
gloriously happy to find ourselves here. But you fret, my dear little
boy, and mope, and that makes you thin, and takes the strength out of
you that you want for music."
"Ah! that is not it. You don't know, Charles, how I feel; I know you
don't, for you love your violin."
"I should think I did!"
"Well, I am strange to it, and don't love it,--at least, don't love to
play it."
"But why did you not tell your father so before he sent you here? You
know you will never do anything well that you don't love to do,--it is
impossible. And not to love the violin, Star, for shame!"
"It is not that,--oh, don't be angry with me!--but my music is in the
beautiful cold keys."
"Darling little Star! I beg your pardon; but then, why don't you learn
the piano?"
"But Charles, I cannot. I was sent here to learn the violin, and I
_must_ study it. Aronach does not let any one study the pianoforte
under him now."
"He did then?"
"Yes, a long time ago, when he lived in another place, about thirty
miles off. Have you heard Aronach play the organ?"
"No; have you?"
"Oh! every Sunday."
"You don't say so, Star! is it not delicious?"
"Charles, I like it best of all the days in the week, because he
plays. Such different playing from what they have at church in
England!"
"I shall go up to the organ and see him play."
"Charles, Charles, don't; please don't,--we never do!"
"Then I shall be the first, for go I must. There is precious Aronach
himself. I will run after him wherever he goes."
I did so most rudely--forsaking Starwood, who did not dare to follow
me; but I would not miss the opportunity. I spun after Aronach so
noiselessly as that he had no notion I was following, though in
general he had eyes behind; and he did not perceive me until the
service had absolutely begun. Then I made myself visible, and caught a
frown, which was accompanied by a helpless condition truly edifying;
for his arms and hands and eyes and feet were all equally on service.
I therefore remained, and made out more about the instrument than I
had made out my whole life before. His was a genuine organ-hand, that
could stretch itself indefinitely, and yet double up so crawlingly
that the fingers, as they lay, were like stems of corrugated ivory;
and I watched only less than I listened. The choir--so full and
perfect, trained to every individual--mounted its effects, as it were,
upon those of the controlling harmonies. There was a depth in these
that supported their air-waving tones, as pillars solid and polished a
vaulted roof, where shadows waver and nestle. I found a book, and sang
at intervals, but generally preferred to receive the actual
impression. I think my first mother-feeling for Germany was born that
Sunday in pleasurable pain.
None can know who has not felt--none feel who has not heard--the spell
of those haunting services in the land of Luther! The chorale so grave
and powerful, with its interpieces so light and florid, like slender
fretworks on a marble shrine,--the unisonous pause, the antiphonal
repose, the deep sense of worship stirred by the sense of sound. From
that Sunday I always went with Aronach, unbidden, but unforbidden; and
as I learned to be very expert in stopping, I substituted very
speedily the functionary who had performed the office before my
advent.
FOOTNOTE:
[14] There is no question but that Starwood Burney is intended for a
portrait of Sterndale Bennett. Mendelssohn was his friend from
boyhood, and aided him greatly with his suggestions, though it is
doubtful whether Bennett ever studied with him. It was through
Mendelssohn's influence that he brought out Bach's music in London. He
was also a pupil of the Leipsic Conservatory.