ON A WINTER'S EVENING.
After a more than usually severe winter, the early spring came, crowned
with rime instead of primroses. Paris was intensely cold. In March the
Seine was still frozen, and snow lay thickly on the house-tops. Quiet at
all times, the little nook in which I lived became monastically still,
and at night, when the great gates were closed, and the footsteps of the
passers-by fell noiselessly upon the trodden snow, you might have heard
a whisper from one side of the street to the other. There was to me
something indescribably delightful about this silent solitude in the
heart of a great city.
Sitting beside the fire one evening, enjoying the profound calm of the
place, attending from time to time to my little coffee-pot on the hob,
and slowly turning the pages of a favorite author, I luxuriate in a
state of mind half idle, half studious. Leaving off presently to listen
to some sound which I hear, or fancy I hear, in the adjoining room, I
wonder for the twentieth time whether Hortense has yet returned from her
long day's teaching; and so rise--open my window--and look out. Yes; the
light from her reading-lamp streams out at last across the snow-laden
balcony. Heigho! it is something even to know that she is there so near
me--divided only by a thin partition!
Trying to comfort myself with this thought, I close the window again and
return to my book, more restless and absent than before. Sitting thus,
with the unturned leaf lingering between my thumb and forefinger, I hear
a rapid footfall on the stairs, and a musical whistle which, growing
louder as it draws nearer, breaks off at my door, and is followed by a
prolonged assault and battery of the outer panels.
"Welcome, noisiest of visitors!" I exclaim, knowing it to be Müller
before I even open the door. "You are quite a stranger. You have not
been near me for a fortnight."
"It will not be your fault, Signor Book-worm, if I don't become a
stranger _au pied de la lettre_" replies he, cheerily. "Why, man, it is
close upon three weeks since you have crossed the threshold of my door.
The Quartier Latin is aggrieved by your neglect, and the fine arts
t'other side of the water languish and are forlorn."
So saying, he shakes the snow from his coat like a St. Bernard mastiff,
perches his cap on the head of the plaster Niobe that adorns my
chimney-piece, and lays aside the folio which he had been carrying under
his arm. I, in the meanwhile, have wheeled an easy-chair to the fire,
brought out a bottle of Chambertin, and piled on more wood in honor
of my guest.
"You can't think," said I, shaking hands with him for the second time,
"how glad I am that you have come round to-night."
"I quite believe it," replied he. "You must be bored to death, if these
old busts are all the society you keep. _Sacre nom d'une pipe_! how can
a fellow keep up his conviviality by the perpetual contemplation of
Niobe and Jupiter Tonans? What do you mean by living such a life as
this? Have you turned Trappist? Shall I head a subscription to present
you with a skull and an hour-glass?"
"I'll have the skull made into a drinking-cup, if you do. Take some
wine."
Müller filled his glass, tasted with the air of a connoisseur, and
nodded approvingly.
"Chambertin, by the god Bacchus!" said he. "Napoleon's favorite wine,
and mine--evidence of the sympathy that exists between the truly great."
And, draining the glass, he burst into a song in praise of French wines,
beginning--
"Le Chambertin rend joyeux,
Le Nuits rend infatigable,
Le Volnay rend amoureux,
Le Champagne rend amiable.
Grisons-nous, mes chers amis,
L'ivresse
Vaut la richesse;
Pour moi, dès que le suis gris,
Je possède tout Paris!"
"Oh hush!" said I, uneasily; "not so loud, pray!"
"Why not?"
"The--the neighbors, you know. We cannot do as we would in the Quartier
Latin."
"Nonsense, my dear fellow. You don't swear yourself to silence when you
take apartments in a _hôtel meublé_! You might as well live in a
penitentiary!--
'De bouchons faisons un tas,
Et s'il faut avoir la goutte,
Au moins que ce ne soit pas
Pour n'avoir bu qu'une goutte!'"
"Nay, I implore you!" I interposed again. "The landlord ..."
"Hang the landlord!
'Grisons-nous--'"
"Well, but--but there is a lady in the next room ..."
Müller laughed till the tears ran down his cheeks.
"_Allons done_!" said he, "why not have told the truth at first? Oh, you
sly rogue! You _gaillard_! This is your seclusion, is it? This is your
love of learning--this the secret of your researches into science and
art! What art, pray? Ovid's 'Art of Love,' I'll be sworn!"
"Laugh on, pray," I said, feeling my face and my temper growing hot;
"but that lady, who is a stranger to me"....
"Oh--oh--oh!" cried Müller.
"Who is a stranger to me," I repeated, "and who passes her evenings in
study, must not be annoyed by noises in my room. Surely, my dear fellow,
you know me well enough to understand whether I am in jest or
in earnest."
Müller laid his hand upon my sleeve.
"Enough--enough," he said, smiling good-naturedly. "You are right, and I
will be as dumb as Plato. What is the lady's name."
"Dufresnoy," I answered, somewhat reluctantly. "Mademoiselle Dufresnoy."
"Ay, but her Christian name!"
"Her Christian name," I faltered, more reluctant still. "I--I--"
"Don't say you don't know," said Müller, maliciously. "It isn't worth
while. After all, what does it matter? Here's to her health, all the
same--_à votre santé_, Mademoiselle Dufresnoy! What! not drink her
health, though I have filled your glass on purpose?"
There was no help for it, so I took the glass and drank the toast with
the best grace I could.
"And now, tell me," continued my companion, drawing nearer to the fire
and settling himself with a confidential air that was peculiarly
provoking, "what is she like? Young or old? Dark or fair? Plain
or pretty?"
"Old," said I, desperately. "Old and ugly. Fifty at the least. Squints
horribly."
Then, thinking that I had been a little too emphatic, I added:--
"But a very ladylike person, and exceedingly well-informed,"
Müller looked at me gravely, and filled his glass again.
"I think I know the lady," said he.
"Indeed?"
"Yes--by your description. You forgot to add, however, that she is
gray."
"To be sure--as a badger."
"To say nothing of a club foot, an impediment in her speech, a voice
like a raven's, and a hump like a dromedary's! Ah! my dear friend, what
an amazingly comic fellow you are!"
And the student burst again into a peal of laughter so hearty and
infectious that I could not have helped joining in it to save my life.
"And now," said he, when we had laughed ourselves out of breath, "now to
the object of my visit. Do you remember asking me, months ago, to make
you a copy of an old portrait that you had taken a fancy to in some
tumble-down château near Montlhéry!"
"To be sure; and I have intended, over and over again, to remind you of
it. Did you ever take the trouble to go over there and look at it?"
"Look at it, indeed! I should rather think so--and here is the proof.
What does your connoisseurship say to it?"
Say to it! Good heavens! what could I say, what could I do, but flush up
all suddenly with pleasure, and stare at it without power at first to
utter a single word?
For it was like _her_--so like that it might have been her very
portrait. The features were cast in the same mould--the brow, perhaps,
was a little less lofty--the smile a little less cold; but the eyes,
the beautiful, lustrous, soul-lighted eyes were the same--the
very same!
If she were to wear an old-fashioned dress, and deck her fair neck and
arms with pearls, and put powder on her hair, and stand just so, with
her hand upon one of the old stone urns in the garden of that deserted
château, she would seem to be standing for the portrait.
Well might I feel, when I first saw her, that the beauty of her face was
not wholly unfamiliar to me! Well might I fancy I had seen her in some
dream of long ago!
So this was the secret of it--and this picture was mine. Mine to hang
before my desk when I was at work--mine to place at my bed's foot, where
I might see it on first waking--mine to worship and adore, to weave
fancies and build hopes upon, and "burn out the day in idle phantasies"
of passionate devotion!
"Well," said Müller impatiently, "what do you think of it?"
I looked up, like one dreaming.
"Think of it!" I repeated.
"Yes--do you think it like?"
"So like that it might be her por ... I mean that it might be the
original."
"Oh, that's satisfactory. I was afraid you were disappointed."
"I was only silent from surprise and pleasure."
"Well, however faithful the copy maybe, you know, in these things one
always misses the tone of age."
"I would not have it look a day older!" I exclaimed, never lifting my
eyes from the canvas.
Müller came and looked down at it over my shoulder.
"It is an interesting head," said he. "I have a great mind to introduce
it into my next year's competition picture."
I started as if he had struck me. The thought was sacrilege!
"For Heaven's sake do no such thing!" I ejaculated.
"Why not?" said he, opening his eyes in astonishment.
"I cannot tell you why--at least not yet; but to--to confer a very
particular obligation upon me, will you waive this point?" Müller rubbed
his head all over with both hands, and sat down in the utmost
perplexity.
"Upon my soul and conscience," said he, "you are the most
incomprehensible fellow I ever knew in my life!"
"I am. I grant it. What then? Let us see, I am to give you a hundred and
fifty francs for this copy ..."
"I won't take it," said Müller. "I mean you to accept it as a pledge of
friendship and good-will."
"Nay, I insist on paying for it. I shall be proud to pay for it; but a
hundred and fifty are not enough. Let me give you three hundred, and
promise me that you will not put the head into your picture!"
Müller laughed, and shook his own head resolutely. "I will give you both
the portrait and the promise," said he; "but I won't take your money, if
I know it."
"But ..."
"But I won't--and so, if you don't like me well enough to accept such a
trifle from me, I'll e'en carry the thing home again!"
And, snatching up his cap and cloak, he made a feint of putting the
portrait back into the folio.
"Not for the world!" I exclaimed, taking possession of it without
further remonstrance. "I would sooner part from all I possess. How can I
ever thank you enough?"
"By never thanking me at all! What little time the thing has cost me is
overpaid, not only by the sight of your pleasure, but by my own
satisfaction in copying it. To copy a good work is to have a lesson from
the painter, though he were dead a hundred years before; and the man who
painted that portrait, be he who he might, has taught me a trick or two
that I never knew before. _Sapristi_! see if I don't dazzle you some day
with an effect of white satin and pearls against a fair skin!"
"An ingenious argument; but it leaves me unconvinced, all the same. How!
you are not going to run away already? Here's another bottle of
Chambertin waiting to be opened; and it is yet quite early."
"Impossible! I have promised to meet a couple of men up at the Prado,
and have, besides, invited them afterwards to supper."
"What is the Prado?"
"The Prado! Why, is it possible that I have never yet introduced you to
the Prado? It's one of the joiliest places in all the Quartier
Latin--it's close to the Palais de Justice. You can dance there, or
practise pistol-shooting, or play billiards, or sup--or anything you
please. Everybody smokes--ladies not excepted."
"How very delightful!"
"Oh, magnificent! Won't you come with me? I know a dozen pretty girls
who will be delighted to be introduced to you."
"Not to-night, thank you," said I, laughing.
"Well, another time?"
"Yes, to be sure--another time."
"Well, good-night."
"Good-night, and thank you again, a thousand times over."
But he would not stay to hear me thank him, and was half way down the
first flight before my sentence was finished. Just as I was going back
into my room, and about to close the door, he called after me from
the landing.
"_Holà, amigo_! When my picture is done, I mean to give a bachelor's
supper-party--chiefly students and _chicards_. Will you come?"
"Gladly."
"Adieu, then. I will let you know in time."
And with this, he broke out into a fragment of Beranger, gave a cheerful
good-night to Madame Bouïsse in the hall, and was gone.
And now to enjoy my picture. Now to lock the door, and trim the lamp,
and place it up against a pile of books, and sit down before it in
silent rapture, like a devotee before the portrait of his patron saint.
Now I can gaze, unreproved, into those eyes, and fancy they are hers.
Now press my lips, unforbidden, upon that exquisite mouth, and believe
it warm. Ah, will her eyes ever so give back the look of love in mine?
Will her lips ever suffer mine to come so near? Would she, if she knew
the treasure I possessed, be displeased that I so worshipped it?
Hanging over it thus, and suffering my thoughts to stray on at their own
will and pleasure, I am startled by the fall of some heavy object in the
adjoining chamber. The fall is followed by a stifled cry, and then all
is again silent.
To unlock my door and rush to hers--to try vainly to open it--to cry
"Hortense! Hortense! what has happened? For Heaven's sake, what has
happened?" is the work of but an instant.
The antechamber lay between, and I remembered that she could not hear
me. I ran back, knocked against the wall, and repeated:--
"What has happened? Tell me what has happened?"
Again I listened, and in that interval of suspense heard her garments
rustle along the ground, then a deep sigh, and then the words:--
"Nothing serious. I have hurt my hand."
"Can you open the door?"
There was another long silence.
"I cannot," she said at length, but more faintly.
"In God's name, try!"
No answer.
"Shall I get over the balcony?"
I waited another instant, heard nothing, and then, without, further
hesitation, opened my own window and climbed the iron rail that
separated her balcony from mine, leaving my footsteps trampled in
the snow.
I found her sitting on the floor, with her body bent forward and her
head resting against the corner of a fallen bookcase. The scattered
volumes lay all about. A half-filled portmanteau stood close by on a
chair. A travelling-cloak and a passport-case lay on the table.
Seeing, yet scarcely noting all this, I flung myself on my knees beside
her, and found that one hand and arm lay imprisoned under the bookcase.
She was not insensible, but pain had deprived her of the power of
speech. I raised her head tenderly, and supported it against a chair;
then lifted the heavy bookcase, and, one by one, removed the volumes
that had fallen upon her.
Alas! the white little hand all crushed and bleeding--the powerless
arm--the brave mouth striving to be firm!
I took the poor maimed arm, made a temporary sling for it with my
cravat, and, taking her up in my arms as if she had been an infant,
carried her to the sofa. Then I closed the window; ran back to my own
room for hot water; tore up some old handkerchiefs for bandages; and so
dressed and bound her wounds--blessing (for the first time in my life)
the destiny that had made me a surgeon.
"Are you in much pain?" I asked, when all was done.
"Not now--but I feel very faint,"
I remembered my coffee in the next room, and brought it to her. I lifted
her head, and supported her with my arm while she drank it.
"You are much better now," I said, when she had again lain down. "Tell
me how it happened."
She smiled languidly.
"It was not my fault," she said, "but Froissart's. Do you remember that
Froissart?"
Remember it! I should think so.
"Froissart!" I exclaimed. "Why, what had he to do with it?"
"Only this. I usually kept him on the top of the bookcase that fell down
this evening. Just now, while preparing for a journey upon which I must
start to-morrow morning, I thought to remove the book to a safer place;
and so, instead of standing on a chair, I tried to reach up, and,
reaching up, disturbed the balance of the bookcase, and brought
it down."
"Could you not have got out of the way when you saw it falling?"
"Yes--but I tried to prevent it, and so was knocked down and imprisoned
as you found me."
"Merciful Heaven! it might have killed you."
"That was what flashed across my mind when I saw it coming," she
replied, with a faint smile.
"You spoke of a journey," I said presently, turning my face away lest
she should read its story too plainly; "but now, of course, you must not
move for a few days."
"I must travel to-morrow," she said, with quiet decision.
"Impossible!"
"I have no alternative."
"But think of the danger--the imprudence--the suffering."
"Danger there cannot be," she replied, with a touch of impatience in her
voice. "Imprudent it may possibly be; but of that I have no time to
think. And as for the suffering, that concerns myself alone. There are
mental pains harder to bear than the pains of the body, and the
consciousness of a duty unfulfilled is one of the keenest of them. You
urge in vain; I must go. And now, since it is time you bade me
good-night, let me thank you for your ready help and say good-bye."
"But may I do no more for you?"
"Nothing--unless you will have the goodness to bid Madame Bouïsse to
come up-stairs, and finish packing my portmanteau for me."
"At what hour do you start?"
"At eight."
"May I not go with you to the station, and see that you get a
comfortable seat?"
"Many thanks," she replied, coldly; "but I do not go by rail, and my
seat in the diligence is already taken."
"You will want some one to see to your luggage--to carry your cloaks."
"Madame Bouïsse has promised to go with me to the Messageries."
Silenced, and perhaps a little hurt, I rose to take my leave.
"I wish you a safe journey, mademoiselle," I said, "and a safe return,"
"And think me, at the same time, an ungrateful patient."
"I did not say that."
"No--but you thought so. After all, it is possible that I seem so. I am
undemonstrative--unused to the amenities of life--in short, I am only
half-civilized. Pray, forgive me."
"Mademoiselle," I said, "your apology pains me. I have nothing to
forgive. I will send Madame Bouïsse to you immediately."
And with this I had almost left the room, but paused upon the threshold.
"Shall you be long away?" I asked, with assumed indifference.
"Shall I be long away?" she repeated, dreamily. "How can I tell?" Then,
correcting herself, "Oh, not long," she added. "Not long. Perhaps a
fortnight--perhaps a week."
"Once more, then, good-night."
"Good-night," she answered, absently; and I withdrew.
I then went down, sent Madame Bouïsse to wait upon her, and sat up
anxiously listening more than half the night. Next morning, at seven, I
heard Madame Bouïsse go in again. I dared not even go to her door to
inquire how she had slept, lest I should seem too persistent; but when
they left the room and went downstairs together, I flew to my window.
I saw her cross the street in the gray morning. She walked feebly, and
wore a large cloak, that hid the disabled arm and covered her to the
feet. Madame Bouïsse trotted beside her with a bundle of cloaks and
umbrellas; a porter followed with her little portmanteau on
his shoulder.
And so they passed under the archway across the trampled snow, and
vanished out of sight.