A CONTRETEMPS IN A CARRIAGE.
My slavery lasted somewhat longer than three weeks, and less than a
month; and was brought, oddly enough, to an abrupt conclusion. This was
how it happened.
I had, as usual, attended Madame de Marignan one evening to the Opera,
and found myself, also as usual, neglected for a host of others. There
was one man in particular whom I hated, and whom (perhaps because I
hated him) she distinguished rather more than the rest. His name was
Delaroche, and he called himself Monsieur le Comte Delaroche. Most
likely he was a Count---I have no reason to doubt his title; but I chose
to doubt it for mere spite, and because he was loud and conceited, and
wore a little red and green ribbon in his button-hole. He had, besides,
an offensive sense of my youth and his own superiority, which I have
never forgiven to this day. On the particular occasion of which I am
now speaking, this person had made his appearance in Madame de
Marignan's box at the close of the first act, established himself in the
seat behind hers, and there held the lists against all comers during the
remainder of the evening. Everything he said, everything he did,
aggravated me. When he looked through her lorgnette, I loathed him. When
he admired her fan, I longed to thrust it down his throat. When he held
her bouquet to his odious nose (the bouquet that I had given her!) I
felt it would have been justifiable manslaughter to take him up bodily,
and pitch him over into the pit.
At length the performance came to a close, and M. Delaroche, having
taken upon himself to arrange Madame de Marignan's cloak, carry Madame
de Marignan's fan, and put Madame de Marignan's opera-glass into its
morocco case, completed his officiousness by offering his arm and
conducting her into the lobby, whilst I, outwardly indifferent but
inwardly boiling, dropped behind, and consigned him silently to all the
torments of the seven circles.
It was an oppressive autumnal night without a star in the sky, and so
still that one might have carried a lighted taper through the streets.
Finding it thus warm, Madame de Marignan proposed walking down the line
of carriages, instead of waiting till her own came up; and so she and M.
Delaroche led the way and I followed. Having found the carriage, he
assisted her in, placed her fan and bouquet on the opposite seat,
lingered a moment at the open door, and had the unparalleled audacity to
raise her hand to his lips at parting. As for me, I stood proudly back,
and lifted my hat.
"_Comment_!" she said, holding out her hand--the pretty, ungloved hand
that had just been kissed--"is that your good night?"
I bowed over the hand, I would not have touched it with my lips at that
moment for all the wealth of Paris.
"You are coming to me to-morrow morning at twelve?" she murmured
tenderly.
"If Madame desires it."
"Of course I desire it. I am going to Auteuil, to look at a house for a
friend--and to Pignot's for some flowers--and to Lubin's for some
scent--and to a host of places. What should I do without you? Nay, why
that grave face? Have I done anything to offend you?"
"Madame, I--I confess that--"
"That you are jealous of that absurd Delaroche, who is so much in love
with himself that he has no place in his heart for any one else! _Fi
donc!_ I am ashamed of you. There--adieu, twelve to-morrow!"
And with this she laughed, waved her hand, gave the signal to drive on,
and left me looking after the carriage, still irritated but already
half consoled.
I then sauntered moodily on, thinking of my tyrant, and her caprices,
and her beauty. Her smile, for instance; surely it was the sweetest
smile in the world--if only she were less lavish of it! Then, what a
delicious little hand--if mine were the only lips permitted to kiss it!
Why was she so charming?--or why, being so charming, need she prize the
attentions of every _flaneur_ who had only enough wit to admire her? Was
I not a fool to believe that she cared more for my devotion than for
another's! Did I believe it? Yes ... no ... sometimes. But then that
"sometimes" was only when under the immediate influence of her presence.
She fascinated me; but she would fascinate a hundred others in precisely
the same way. It was true that she accepted from me more devotion, more
worship, more time, more outward and visible homage than from any other.
Was I not her _Cavaliere servente?_ Did she not accept my bouquets? Did
she not say the other day, when I gave her that volume of Tennyson, that
she loved all that was English for my sake? Surely, I was worse than
ungrateful, when, having so much, I was still dissatisfied! Why was I
not the happiest fellow in Paris? Why .....
My meditations were here interrupted by a sudden flash of very vivid
lightning, followed by a low muttering of distant thunder. I paused, and
looked round. The sky was darker than ever, and though the air was
singularly stagnant, I could hear among the uppermost leaves of the tall
trees that stealthy rustling that generally precedes a storm.
Unfortunately for myself, I had not felt disposed to go home at once on
leaving the theatre; but, being restless alike in mind and body, had
struck down through the Place Vendôme and up the Rue de Rivoli,
intending to come home by a circuitous route. At this precise moment I
found myself in the middle of the Place de la Concorde, with Cleopatra's
needle towering above my head, the lamps in the Champs Elysées twinkling
in long chains of light through the blank darkness before me, and no
vehicle anywhere in sight. To be caught in a heavy shower, was not,
certainly, an agreeable prospect for one who had just emerged from the
opera in the thinnest of boots and the lightest of folding hats, with
neither umbrella nor paletôt of proof; so, having given a hasty glance
in every direction from which a cab might be expected, I took valiantly
to my heels, and made straight for the Madeleine.
Long before I had accomplished half the distance, however, another flash
announced the quick coming of the tempest, and the first premonitory
drops began to plash down heavily upon the pavement. Still I ran on,
thinking that I should find a cab in the Place de la Madeleine; but the
Place de la Madeleine was empty. Even the café at the corner was closed.
Even the omnibus office was shut up, and the red lamp above the door
extinguished.
What was I to do now? Panting and breathless, I leaned up against a
doorway, and resigned myself to fate. Stay, what was that file of
carriages, dimly seen through the rain which was now coming down in
earnest? It was in a private street opening off at the back of the
Madeleine--a street in which I could remember no public stand. Perhaps
there was an evening party at one of the large houses lower down, and,
if so, I might surely find a not wholly incorruptible cabman, who would
consent for a liberal _pourboire_ to drive me home and keep his fare
waiting, if need were, for one little half-hour! At all events it was
worth trying for; so away I darted again, with the wind whistling about
my ears, and the rain driving in my face.
But my troubles were not to be so speedily ended. Among the ten or
fifteen equipages which I found drawn up in file, there was not one
hackney vehicle. They were private carriages, and all, therefore,
inaccessible.
Did I say inaccessible?
A bold idea occurred to me. The rain was so heavy that it could scarcely
be expected to last many minutes. The carriage at the very end of the
line was not likely to be the first called; and, even if it were, one
could spring out in a moment, if necessary. In short, the very daring of
the deed was as attractive as the shelter! I made my way swiftly down
the line. The last carriage was a neat little brougham, and the
coachman, with his hat pulled down over his eyes, and his collar drawn
up about his ears, was too much absorbed in taking care of himself and
his horses to pay much attention to a foot-passenger. I passed boldly
by--doubled back stealthily on my own steps--looked round
cautiously--opened the door, and glided in.
It was a delightfully comfortable little vehicle--cushioned, soft,
yielding, and pervaded by a delicate perfume of eglantine. Wondering who
the owner might be--if she was young--if she was pretty--if she was
married, or single, or a widow--I settled myself in the darkest corner
of the carriage, intending only to remain there till the rain had
abated. Thus I fell, as fate would have it--first into a profound
reverie, and then into a still profounder sleep. How long this sleep may
have lasted I know not. I only remember becoming slowly conscious of a
gentle movement, which, without awaking, partly roused me; of a check to
that movement, which brought my thoughts suddenly to the surface; of a
stream of light--of an open door--a crowded hall--a lady waiting to come
out, and a little crowd of attentive beaux surrounding her!
I comprehended my position in an instant, and the impossibility of
extricating myself from it. To get out next the house was to brave
detection; whilst at the other side I found myself blocked in by
carriages. Escape was now hopeless! I turned hot and cold; I shrank
back; I would have gone through the bottom of the carriage, if I could.
At this moment, to my horror, the footman opened the door. I gave myself
up for lost, and, in a sudden access of desperation, was on the point of
rushing out _coûte que coûte_, when the lady ran forward; sprang lightly
in; recoiled; and uttered a little breathless cry of surprise and
apprehension!
"_Mon Dieu_, Madame! what is it? Are you hurt?" cried two or three of
the gentlemen, running out, bareheaded, to her assistance.
But, to my amazement, she unfastened her cloak, and threw it over me in
such a manner as to leave me completely hidden beneath the folds.
"Oh, nothing, thank you!--I only caught my foot in my cloak. I am really
quite ashamed to have alarmed you! A thousand thanks--good-night."
And so, with something of a slight tremor in her voice, the lady drew up
the window. The next instant the carriage moved on.
And now, what was to be done? I blessed the accident which rendered me
invisible; but, at the same time, asked myself how it was to end.
Should I wait till she reached her own door, and then, still feigning
sleep, allow myself to be discovered? Or should I take the bull by the
horns, and reveal myself? If the latter, would she scream, or faint, or
go into hysterics? Then, again, supposing she resumed her cloak ... a
cold damp broke out upon my forehead at the mere thought! All at once,
just as these questions flashed across my mind, the lady drew the mantle
aside, and said:--
"How imprudent of you to hide in my carriage?"
I could not believe my ears.
"Suppose any of those people had caught sight of you ... why, it would
have been all over Paris to-morrow! Happily, I had the presence of mind
to cover you with my cloak; otherwise ... but there, Monsieur, I have a
great mind to be very angry with you!"
It was now clear that I was mistaken for some one else. Fortunately the
carriage-lamps were unlit, the windows still blurred with rain, and the
night intensely dark; so, feeling like a wretch reprieved on the
scaffold, I shrank farther and farther into the corner, glad to favor a
mistake which promised some hope of escape.
"_Eh bien_!" said the lady, half tenderly, half reproachfully; "have you
nothing to say to me?"
Say to her, indeed! What could I say to her? Would not my voice betray
me directly?
"Ah," she continued, without waiting for a reply; "you are ashamed of
the cruel scene of this morning! Well, since you have not allowed the
night to pass without seeking a reconciliation, I suppose I must
forgive you!"
I thought, at this point, that I could not do better than press her
hand, which was exquisitely soft and small--softer and smaller than even
Madame de Marignan's.
"Naughty Hippolyte!" murmured my companion. "Confess, now, that you were
unreasonable."
I sighed heavily, and caressed the little hand with both of mine.
"And are you very penitent?"
I expressed my penitence by another prodigious sigh, and ventured, this
time, to kiss the tips of the dainty fingers.
"_Ciel_!" exclaimed the lady. "You have shaved off your beard! What can
have induced you to do such a thing?"
My beard, indeed! Alas! I would have given any money for even a
moustache! However, the fatal moment was come when I must speak.
"_Mon cher ange_," I began, trying a hoarse whisper, "I--I--the fact
is--a bet--"
"A bet indeed! The idea of sacrificing such a handsome beard for a mere
bet! I never heard of anything so foolish. But how hoarse you are,
Hippolyte!"
"All within the last hour," whispered I. "I was caught in the storm,
just now, and ..."
"And have taken cold, for my sake! Alas! my poor, dear friend, why did
you wait to speak to me? Why did you not go home at once, and change
your clothes? Your sleeve, I declare, is still quite damp! Hippolyte, if
you fall ill, I shall never forgive myself!"
I kissed her hand again. It was much pleasanter than whispering, and
expressed all that was necessary.
"But you have not once asked after poor Bibi!" exclaimed my companion,
after a momentary silence. "Poor, dear Bibi, who has been suffering from
a martyrdom with her cough all the afternoon!"
Now, who the deuce was Bibi? She might be a baby. Or--who could
tell?--she might be a poodle? On this point, however, I was left
uninformed; for my unknown friend, who, luckily, seemed fond of talking
and had a great deal to say, launched off into another topic
immediately.
"After all," said she, "I should have been wrong not to go to the party!
My uncle was evidently pleased with my compliance; and it is not wise to
vex one's rich uncles, if one can help it--is it, Hippolyte!"
I pressed her hand again.
"Besides, Monsieur Delaroche was not there. He was not even invited; so
you see how far they were from laying matchmaking plots, and how
groundless were all your fears and reproaches!"
Monsieur Delaroche! Could this be the Delaroche of my special aversion?
I pressed her hand again, more closely, more tenderly, and listened for
what might come next.
"Well, it is all over now! And will you promise _never, never, never_ to
be jealous again? Then, to be jealous of such a creature as that
ridiculous Delaroche--a man who knows nothing--who can think and talk
only of his own absurd self!--a man who has not even wit enough to see
that every one laughs at him!"
I was delighted. I longed to embrace her on the spot! Was there ever
such a charming, sensible, lively creature?
"Besides, the coxcomb is just now devoting himself, body and soul (such
as they are!) to that insufferable little _intriguante_, Madame de
Marignan. He is to be seen with her in every drawing-room and theatre
throughout Paris. For my part, I am amazed that a woman of the world
should suffer herself to be compromised to that extent--especially one
so experienced in these _affaires du coeur_."
Madame de Marignan! Compromised--experienced--_intriguante_! I felt as
if I were choking.
"To be sure, there is that poor English lad whom she drags about with
her, to play propriety," continued she; "but do you suppose the world is
blinded by so shallow an artifice?"
"What English lad?" I asked, startled out of all sense of precaution,
and desperately resolved to know the worst.
"What English lad? Why, Hippolyte, you are more stupid than ever! I
pointed him out to you the other night at the Comedie Française--a pale,
handsome boy, of about nineteen or twenty, with brown curling hair, and
very fine eyes, which were riveted on Madame de Marignan the whole
evening. Poor fellow! I cannot help pitying him."
"Then--then, you think she really does not love him?" I said. And this
time my voice was hoarse enough, without any need of feigning.
"Love him! Ridiculous! What does such a woman understand by love?
Certainly neither the sentiment nor the poetry of it! Tush, Hippolyte! I
do not wish to be censorious; but every one knows that ever since M. de
Marignan has been away in Algiers, that woman has had, not one devoted
admirer, but a dozen; and now that her husband is coming back...."
"Coming back! ... her husband!" I echoed, half rising in my place, and
falling back again, as if stunned. "Good heavens! is she not a widow?"
It was now the lady's turn to be startled.
"A widow!" she repeated. "Why, you know as well as I that--_Dieu_! To
whom I am speaking?"
"Madame," I said, as steadily as my agitation would let me, "I beg you
not to be alarmed. I am not, it is true, the person whom you have
supposed; but--Nay, I implore you...."
She here uttered a quick cry, and darted forward for the check-string.
Arresting her hand half way, respectfully but firmly, I went on:--
"How I came here, I will explain presently. I am a gentleman; and upon
the word of a gentleman, Madame, am innocent of any desire to offend or
alarm you. Can you--will you--hear me for one moment?"
"I appear, sir, to have no alternative," replied she, trembling like a
caged bird.
"I might have left you undeceived, Madame. I might have extricated
myself from, this painful position undiscovered--but for some words
which just escaped your lips; some words so nearly concerning the--the
honor and happiness of--of.... in short, I lost my presence of mind. I
now implore you to tell me if all that you have just been saying of
Madame de Marignan is strictly true."
"Who are you, sir, that you should dare to surprise confidences intended
for another, and by what right do you question me?" said the lady,
haughtily.
"By no right, Madame," I replied, fairly breaking into sobs, and burying
my face in my hands. "I can only appeal to your compassion. I am that
Englishman whom--whom...."
For a moment there was silence. My companion was the first to speak.
"Poor boy!" she said; and her voice, now, was gentle and compassionate.
"You have been rudely undeceived. Did Madame de Marignan pass herself
off upon you for a widow?"
"She never named her husband to me--I believed that she was free. I
fancied he had been dead for years. She knew that was my impression."
"And you would have married her--actually married her?"
"I--I--hardly dared to hope...."
"_Ciel_! it is almost beyond belief. And you never inquired into her
past history?"
"Never. Why should I?"
"Monsieur de Marignan holds a government appointment in Algiers, and has
been absent more than four years. He is, I understand, expected back
shortly, on leave of absence."
I conquered my agitation by a supreme effort.
"Madame," I said, "I thank you. It now only remains for me to explain my
intrusion. I can do so in half a dozen words. Caught in the storm and
unable to find a conveyance, I sought shelter in this carriage, which
being the last on the file, offered the only refuge of which I could
avail myself unobserved. While waiting for the tempest to abate, I fell
asleep; and but for the chance which led you to mistake me for another,
I must have been discovered when you entered the carriage."
"Then, finding yourself so mistaken, Monsieur, would it not have been
more honorable to undeceive me than to usurp a conversation which...."
"Madame, I dared not. I feared to alarm you--I hoped to find some means
of escape, and...."
"_Mon Dieu_! what means? How are you to escape as it is? How leave the
carriage without being seen by my servants?"
I had not thought of this, nor of the dilemma in which my presence must
place her.
"I can open the door softly," said I, "and jump out unperceived."
"Impossible, at the pace we are going! You would break your neck."
I shook my head, and laughed bitterly.
"Have no fear of that, Madame," I said. "Those who least value their
necks never happen to break them. See, I can spring out as we pass the
next turning, and be out of sight in a moment."
"Indeed, I will not permit it. Oh, dear! we have already reached the
Faubourg St. Germain. Stay--I have an idea I Do you know what o'clock
it is?"
"I don't know how long I may have slept; but I think it must be quite
three."
"_Bien_! The Countess de Blois has a ball to-night, and her visitors are
sure not to disperse before four or five. My sister is there. I will
send in to ask if she has yet gone home, and when the carriage stops you
can slip out. Here is the Rue de Bac, and the door of her hotel is yet
surrounded with equipages."
And with this, she let down a front window, desired the coachman to
stop, leaned forward so as to hide me completely, and sent in her
footman with the message. When the man had fairly entered the hall, she
turned to me and said:--
"Now, Monsieur, fly! It is your only chance."
"I go, Madame; but before going, suffer me to assure you that I know
neither your name, nor that of the person for whom you mistook me--that
I have no idea of your place of residence--that I should not know you if
I saw you again to-morrow--in short, that you are to me as entirely a
stranger as if this adventure had never happened."
"Monsieur, I thank you for the assurance; but I see the servant
returning. Pray, begone!"
I sprang out without another word, and, never once looking back, darted
down a neighboring street and waited in the shadow of a doorway till I
thought the carriage must be out of sight.
The night was now fine, the moon was up, and the sky was full of stars.
But I heeded nothing, save my own perplexed and painful thoughts.
Absorbed in these, I followed the course of the Rue du Bac till I came
to the Pont National. There my steps were arrested by the sight of the
eddying river, the long gleaming front of the Louvre, the quaint,
glistening gables of the Tuilleries, the far-reaching trees of the
Champs Elysées all silvered in the soft, uncertain moonlight. It was a
most calm and beautiful picture; and I stood for a long time leaning
against the parapet of the bridge, and looking dreamily at the scene
before me. Then I heard the quarters chime from belfry to belfry all
over the quiet city, and found that it was half-past three o'clock.
Presently a patrol of _gendarmes_ went by, and, finding that they paused
and looked at me suspiciously, I turned away, and bent my steps
homewards.
By the time I reached the Cité Bergère it was past four, and the early
market-carts were already rumbling along the Rue du Faubourg Montmartre.
Going up wearily to my apartments, I found a note waiting for me in
Dalrymple's handwriting. It ran thus:--
"MY DEAR DAMON:--
"Do you know that it is nearly a month since I last saw you? Do you know
that I have called twice at your lodgings without finding you at home? I
hear of you as having been constantly seen, of late, in the society of a
very pretty woman of our acquaintance; but I confess that I do not
desire to see you go to the devil entirely without the friendly
assistance of
"Yours faithfully,
"OSCAR DALRYMPLE."
I read the note twice. I could scarcely believe that I had so neglected
my only friend. Had I been mad? Or a fool?--or both? Too anxious and
unhappy to sleep, and too tired to sit up, I lit my lamp, threw myself
upon the bed, and there lay repenting my wasted hours, my misplaced love
and my egregious folly, till morning came with its sunshine and its
traffic, and found me a "wiser," if not a "better man."
"Half-past seven!" exclaimed I to myself, as I jumped up and plunged my
head into a basin of cold water. "Dr. Chéron shall see me before nine
this morning. I'll call on Dalrymple at luncheon time; at three, I must
get back for the afternoon lecture; and in the evening--in the evening,
by Jove! Madame de Marignan must be content with her adorable Delaroche,
for the deuce a bit of her humble servant will she ever see again!"
And away I went presently along the sunny streets, humming to myself
those saucy and wholesome lines of good Sir Walter Raleigh's:--
"Shall I like a hermit dwell
On a rock, or in a cell,
Calling home the smallest part
That is missing of my heart,
To bestow it where I may
Meet a rival every day?
If she undervalues me,
What care I how fair she be?"