THE BEST SCREENED DUCAL KNOBBLES.--As supplied direct from the ancestral
estates of His Grace the Duke of WAGOVER.
* * *
THE BEST SCREENED DUCAL KNOBBLES.--This fashionable coal, throwing down
a pleasing and prettily-coloured but plentiful light blue ash, is now
confidently recommended to the general public, by His Grace the Duke of
WAGOVER, who begs to inform his numerous patrons and clients that he has
now completed his final arrangements to enable him entirely to
relinquish his duties in the Upper House of the Legislature, for the
purpose of being free to devote the whole of his time to the personal
supervision of the working of the lucrative seams recently discovered on
his family estate. Orders, that should be accompanied by postal orders
or cheque, may be sent direct to His Grace, addressed either to Wagover
Castle, or to his town residence in Belgrave Square, S.W.
* * *
THE BEST SCREENED DUCAL KNOBBLES.--N.B. Customers are respectfully
invited to note that the Ducal Arms, Coronet and Family Tree, are
properly blazoned on every sack on delivery, as a guarantee that the
coal supplied is that now offered at the extremely low figure of 28s. a
ton as "Ducal Knobbles," screened under the immediate supervision of His
Grace's own eye.
* * *
THE EARL'S PICKLED PIES.--These delicious breakfast-table delicacies
(now the rage everywhere) can be obtained by special arrangement, at any
pastrycook's, cheesemonger's, or grocer's in the Three Kingdoms. A Noble
Earl having by an agreement with his head-keeper and chief tenants,
secured the right of shooting his own ground game, has commenced on his
own estate the manufacture, for which he has taken out patent rights, of
the above celebrated "rabbit" pies, the demand for which has so
increased that for the last six months his house has never contained a
shooting-party of less than ten guns at a time, that have all been
busily engaged at making a bag for their manufacture, continually, from
morning till night. An analyst, writing to the _Stethoscope_, says, "_I
have examined a sample of the pie sent me. It appears to be all rabbit.
I cannot discover a particle of cat in it anywhere_."
* * *
THE EXCLUSIVE SOCIETY INTRODUCTION SYNDICATE. With the above
appellation, a Company has been organised, under the Direction of an
Impecunious Duchess, assisted by a Committee of Upper Class Ladies,
whose want of ready money has become urgent, for the purpose of selling,
at a fixed sale of prices, to any low-bred _parvenue_ who can afford to
pay for it, the _entrée_ to those exclusive and hitherto unapproachable
circles to which they, by the accident of their birth and family
connections, possess the privilege of offering and securing an
introduction.
* * *
HIGH CLASS SOCIAL PRIVILEGES.--THE EXCLUSIVE SOCIETY INTRODUCTION
SYNDICATE beg to direct the attention of enterprising and ambitious
aspirants to the advantages of an introduction to various social
privileges of a High Class and Exclusive character, to the fact that the
following "items," that have been carefully thought out, and priced
according to scale, conformably with the present condition of the social
market, are now offered for their consideration:--
£ _s._ _d._
Invitation and admission to a "crush" in the neighbourhood
of Belgrave Square (without introduction to Host or Hostess) 21 0 0