BEHIND THE BROOM.
But this 30th of December had yet more in store for me. The minting die
was yet to be dinted deeper into my heart.
For, as I turned me about to go back the way I came, there by the copse
side, where the broom grew highest, stood Jean Gemmell, with a face
suddenly drawn thin, grey-white and wan like the melting snow.
“Jean!” I cried, “what do ye there?”
She tried to smile, but her eyes had a fixed and glassy look, and she
seemed to be mastering herself so that she might speak.
I think that she had a speech prepared in her heart, for several times
she strove to begin, and the words were always the same. But at last all
that she could say was no more than this, “You love her?”
And with a little hand she pointed to where the Lady Mary had
disappeared. I could see it shaking like a willow leaf as she held it
out.
“Jean,” said I, kindly as I could, “what brought you so far from home on
such a bitter day? It is not fit. You will get your death of cold.”
“I have gotten my death,” she said, with a little gasping laugh, “I have
gotten my sentence. Do not I take it well?”
And she tried to smile again.
Then I went quickly to her, and caught her by the hand, and put my arm
about her. For I feared that she would fall prostrate where she stood.
Notwithstanding, she kept on smiling through unshed tears, and never for
a moment took her eyes off my face.
“I heard what you and she said. Yes, I listened. A great lady would not
have listened. But I am no better than a little cot-house lass, and I
spied upon you. Yes, I hid among the broom. You will never forgive me.”
I tried to hush her with kind words, but somehow they seemed to pass her
by. I think she did not even hear them.
“You love her,” she said; “yes, I know it. Jonita told me that from the
first--that I could never be your wife, though I had led you on. Yes, I
own it. I tried to win you. A great lady would not. But I did. I threw
myself in your way. Shamelessly I cast myself--Jonita says it--into your
arms!----
“Ah, God!” she broke off with a little frantic cry, sinking her head
between her palms quickly, and then flinging her arms down. “And would I
not have cast myself under your feet as readily, that you might trample
me? I know I am not long for this world. I ken that I have bartered away
eternity for naught. I have lied to God. And why not? You that are a
minister, tell me why not? Would not I gladly barter all heaven for one
hour of your love on earth? You may despise me, but I loved you. Yes,
she is great, fair, full of length of days and pride of life--the Lord
of Earlstoun’s daughter. Yet--and yet--and yet, she could not love you
better than I. In that I defy her!
“And she shall have you--yes, I will give you up to her. For that is the
one way an ignorant lass can love. They tell me that by to-morrow you
will be no longer minister. You will be put out of the manse like a bird
out of a harried nest. And at first I was glad when I heard it. For
(thought I) he will come and tell me. We will be poor together. She
said the truth, for indeed she knoweth somewhat, this Lady Mary--‘Love
is not possessions!’ No, but it is possessing. And I had but one--but
one! And that she has taken away from me.”
She lifted her kerchief to her lips, for all suddenly a fit of coughing
had taken her.
In a moment she drew it away, glanced at it quickly, and lo! it was
stained with a clear and brilliant red.
Then she laughed abruptly, a strange, hollow-sounding little laugh.
“I am glad--glad,” she said. “Ah! this is my warrant for departure. Well
do I ken the sign, for I mind when my brother Andrew saw it first.
Quintin, dear lad, you will get her yet, and with honour.”
“Come, Jean,” said I, gently as I could, “the air is shrewd. You are ill
and weak. Lean on my arm, and I will take you home.”
She looked up at me with dry, brilliant eyes. There was nothing strange
about them save that the lids seemed swollen and unnaturally white.
“Quintin,” she made answer, smiling, “it was foolish from the first, was
it not, lad o’ my love? Did you ever say a sweet thing to me, like one
that comes courting a lass in the gloaming? _Say it now to me, will you
not?_ I would like to hear how it would have sounded.”
I was silent. I seemed to have no words to answer her with.
She laughed a little.
“I forgot. Pardon me, Quintin. You are in trouble to-day--deep trouble.
I should not add to it. It is I who should say loving things to you. But
then--then--you would care more for flouts and anger from her than for
all the naked sweetness of poor Jean Gemmell’s heart.”
And the very pitifulness of her voice drew a cry of anger out of my
breast. At the first sound of it she stopped and leaned back in my arms
to look into my face. Then she put up her hand very gently and patted me
tenderly on the cheek like one that comforts a fretful fractious child.
“I vex you,” she said, “you that have overmuch to vex you. But I shall
not vex you long. See,” she said, “there is the door. Yonder is my
father standing by it. He is looking at us under his hand. There is
Jonita, too, and your brother Hob. Shall we go and tell them that this
is all a mistake, that there is to be no more between us?--that we are
free--free, both of us--you to wed the Lady Mary, I to keep my tryst--to
keep my tryst--with Death!”
At the last words her voice sank to a whisper.
Something broke in her throat and seemed to choke her. She fell back in
my arms with her kerchief again to her mouth.
They saw us from the door, and Alexander-Jonita came flying towards us
like the wind over the short grass of the meadow.
Jean took her kerchief away, without looking at it this time. She lifted
her eyes to mine and smiled very sweetly.
“I am glad--glad,” she whispered; “do not be sorry, Quintin. But do just
this one thing for me, will you, lad--but only this one thing. Do not
tell them. Let us pretend. Would it be wrong, think you, to pretend a
little that you love me? You are a minister, and should know. But, if
you could--why, it would be so sweet. And then it would not be for long,
Quintin.”
She spoke coaxingly, and withal most tenderly.
“Jean, I do love you!” I cried.
And for the first time in my life I meant it. She seemed to be like my
sister Anna to me.
By this time, seeing Jonita coming, she had recovered herself somewhat
and taken my arm. At my words she pressed it a little, and smiled.
“Oh,” she said, “you need not begin yet. Only before them. I want them
to think that you love me a little, you see. Is it not small and foolish
of me?”
“But I do--I do truly love you, Jean,” I cried. “Did you ever know me to
tell a lie?”
She smiled again and nodded, like one who smiles at a child who has well
learned his lesson.
Alexander-Jonita came rushing up.
“Jean, Jean, where have you been? What is the matter?”
“I have been meeting Quintin,” she said, with a bright and heavenly
look; “he has been telling me how he loves me.”