"Dieu sait mieux que vous ce dont vous avez besoin, et c'est pour cela
qu'il veut que vous le lui demandiez; car Dieu est lui-meme votre
premier besoin, et prier Dieu, c'est commencer a posseder Dieu."
The sirocco of sorrow had fanned its hot breath over my soul; but, no
grateful spring shower had cooled it through prayer. God, certainly,
knows better than we what we should desire; but why does He not instruct
us in His wishes?
Perhaps you think this all milk-and-watery talk, and that I do not mean
what I say?
But I do. Even those people whom you might think the most unlikely
persons to have such thoughts, will have these reflections, so why not
speak of them?
Some, I know, believe that all religious conversation should be strictly
tabooed in any reference to secular matters. But it seems to me a very
delicate faith that will only stand an airing once a week, like your
church services on Sundays! _I_ have thought of such things, and I'm
not ashamed to mention them.
Acting on my mind at the same time--in concert with these religious
doubts, and the consciousness of my unlucky fortunes--was a strong
feeling of home-sickness, which grew and grew with greater intensity as
the months rolled by.