In which Ned Hayward plays the part of Thief-taker.
Of all the turnings and windings in this crooked life, one of the most
disagreeable is turning back; and yet it is one we are all doomed to
from childhood to old age. We are turned back with the smaller and the
greater lessons of life, and have alas, but too often, in our
obstinacy or our stupidity to learn them over and over again. I with
the rest of my herd must also turn back from time to time; but on the
present occasion it shall not be long, as I am not in a sportive mood
this morning, and could find no pleasure in playing a trout or a
salmon, and should be disgusted at the very sight of a cat with a
mouse.
We have seen our good friend, Ned Hayward, lay his hand stoutly on the
collar of a gentleman who had been taking some unwarrantable liberties
with the finny fair ones of the stream; but the question is, how
happened Ned Hayward to be there at that particular hour of the
morning? Was he so exceedingly matutinal in his habits as to be
usually up, dressed, and out and walking by a piece of water at a
period of the day when most things except birds, fish, and poachers
are in their beds? Had he been roused at that hour by heartach, or
headach, or any other ache? Was he gouty and could not sleep--in love,
and not inclined to sleep? No, reader, no. He was an early man in his
habits it is true, for he was in high health and spirits, and with a
busy and active mind which looked upon slumber as time thrown away;
but then though he rose early he was always careful as to his dress.
He had a stiff beard which required a good deal of shaving, his hair
took him a long time, for he liked it to be exceedingly clean and
glossy. Smooth he could not make it, for that the curls prevented,
curls being obstinate things and resolved to have their own way. Thus
with one thing or another, sometimes reading scraps of a book that lay
upon his dressing-table, sometimes looking out of window, and thinking
more poetically than he had any notion of, sometimes cleaning his
teeth till they looked as white and as straight as the keys of a new
pianoforte, sometimes playing a tune with his fingers on the top of
the table, and musing philosophically the while, it was generally at
least one hour and a half from the time he arose before he issued
forth into the world.
This was not always the case indeed, for on May mornings, when the
trout rise, in August, if he were near the moors, on the first of
September, wherever he might be, for he was never at that season in
London, he usually abridged his toilet, and might be seen in the green
fields, duly equipped for the sport of the season, very shortly after
daybreak.
On the present occasion, and the morning of which I have just spoken,
there cannot be the slightest doubt that he would have laid in bed
somewhat longer than usual, for he had had a long ride the day before,
some excitement, a good supper, and had sat up late; but there was one
little circumstance which roused him and sent him forth. At about a
quarter before five he heard his door open, and a noise made amongst
the boots and shoes. He was in that sleepy state in which the events
of even five or six hours before are vague and indefinite, if
recollected at all, and although he had some confused notion of having
ordered himself to be called early, yet he knew not the why or the
wherefore, and internally concluded that it was one of the servants of
the inn come to take his clothes away for the purpose of brushing
them; he thought, as that was a process with which he had nothing to
do, he might as well turn on his other side and sleep it out. Still,
however, there was a noise in the room, which in the end disturbed
him, and he gave over all the boots, physical or metaphysical, to the
devil. Then raising himself upon his elbow, he looked about, and by
the dim light which was streaming through the dimity curtains--for the
window was unfurnished with shutters--he saw a figure somewhat like
that of a large goose wandering about amidst the fragments of his
apparel.
"What in the mischiefs name are you about?" asked Ned Hayward,
impatiently. "Can't you take the things and get along?"
"It's me, Sir," said the low, sweet-toned voice of the humpbacked
pot-boy, who had not a perfect certainty in his own mind that neuter
verbs are followed by a nominative case, "you were wishing to know
last night about--"
"Ah, hang it, so I was," exclaimed Ned Hayward, "but I had forgotten
all about it--well, my man, what can you tell me about this fellow,
this Wolf? Where does he live, how can one get at him? None of the
people here will own they know any thing about him, but I believe they
are lying, and I am very sure of it. The name's a remarkable one, and
not to be mistaken."
"Ay, Sir," answered the pot-boy, "they knew well enough whom you want,
though you did not mention the name they chose to know him by. If you
had asked for Ste Gimlet, they'd have been obliged to answer, for they
can't deny having heard of him. Wolf's a cant name, you see, which he
got on account of his walking about so much at night, as they say
wolves do, though I never saw one."
"Well, where is he to be found?" asked Ned Hayward, in his usual rapid
manner, and he then added, to smooth down all difficulties, "I don't
want to do the man any harm if I can help it, for I have a notion,
somehow, that he is but a tool in the business; and therefore,
although I could doubtless with the information you have given me of
his real name, find him out, and deal with him as I think fit, yet I
would rather have his address privately, that I may go and talk to him
alone."
"Ah, Sir, he may be a tool," answered the pot-boy, "but he's an
awkward tool to work with; and I should think you had better have two
or three stout hands with you."
"Well, I will think of that, my man," answered the young gentleman;
"but at all events I should like to know where to find him."
"That's not quite so easy, Sir," replied the hunchback, "for he
wanders about a good deal, but he has got a place where he says he
lives on Yaldon Moor, behind the park, and that he's there some time
in every day is certain. I should think the morning as good a time as
any, and you may catch him on the look-out if you go round by the back
of the park, and then up the river by the old mill. There's an overgo
a little higher up, and I shouldn't wonder if he were dabbling about
in the water; for it isn't the time for partridges or hares, and he
must be doing something."
"But what sort of place has he on the moor?" asked Ned Hayward,
beginning to get more and more interested in the pursuit of his
inquiries; "how can I find it, my man?"
"It's not easy," answered his companion, "for it's built down in the
pit. However, when you have crossed by the overgo, you will find a
little path just before you, and if you go along that straight,
without either turning to the right or the left, it will lead you
right up to the moor. Then I'm sure I don't know how to direct you,
for the roads go turning about in all manner of ways."
"Is it east, west, north, or south?" asked Captain Hayward,
impatiently.
"Why east," answered the boy; "and I dare say if you go soon you will
find the sun just peeping out over the moor in that direction. It's a
pretty sight, and I've looked at it often to see the sunshine come
streaming through the morning mist, and making all the green things
that grow about there look like gold and purple, and very often, too,
I've seen the blue smoke coming up out of the pit from Ste's
cottage-chimney, Perhaps it may be so when you go, and then you'll
easily find it."
"And whose park is it you speak of, boy?" said Ned Hayward. "There may
be half-a-dozen about here."
"Why, Sir John Slingsby's," answered the boy, "that's the only one we
call the park about here."
"Oh, then, I know it," rejoined the gentleman, stretching out his hand
at the same time, and taking his purse from a chair that stood by his
bedside; "there's a crown for you; and now carry off the boots and
clothes, and get them brushed as fast as possible."
The boy did as he was told, took the crown with many thanks, gathered
together the various articles of apparel which lay scattered about,
and retired from the room. Ned Hayward, however, without waiting for
his return, jumped out of bed, drew forth from one of his portmanteaus
another complete suit of clothes, plunged his head, hands, and neck in
cold water, and then mentally saying, "I will shave when I come back,"
he dressed himself in haste, and looked out for a moment into the
yard, to see whether many of the members of the household were astir.
There was a man at the very further end of the yard cleaning a horse,
and just under the window, the little deformed pot-boy, whistling a
plaintive air with the most exquisite taste, while he was brushing a
coat and waistcoat. The finest and most beautiful player on the
flageolet, never equalled the tones that were issuing from his little
pale lips, and Ned Hayward could not refrain from pausing a moment to
listen, but then putting on his hat, he hurried down stairs, and
beckoned the boy towards him.
"Do not say that I am out, my man, unless any questions are asked," he
said; "and when you have brushed the clothes, put them on a chair at
the door."
The boy nodded significantly, and our friend, Ned Hayward, took his
way out of the town in the direction that the boy had indicated. Of
all the various bumps in the human head, the bump of locality is the
foremost. This book the reader is well aware is merely a phrenological
essay in a new form. So the bump of locality is the most capricious,
whimsical, irrational, unaccountable, perverse, and unmanageable of
all bumps. To some men it affords a faculty of finding their way about
houses--I wish to Heaven it did so with me, for I am always getting
into wrong rooms and places where I have no business--others it
enables to go through all sorts of tortuous paths and ways almost by
intuition; with others it is strong regarding government offices, and
the places connected therewith; but in Ned Hayward it was powerful in
the country, and it would have been a very vigorous _ignis fatuus_
indeed that would lead him astray either on horseback or on foot.
Three words of direction generally sufficed if they were clear, and he
was as sure of his journey as if he knew every step of the way. There
might be a little calculation in the thing--a sort of latent
argumentation--for no one knew better that if a place lay due north,
the best way to arrive at it was not to go due south, or was more
clearly aware that in ordinary circumstances, the way into the valley
was not to climb the hill; but Ned Hayward was rarely disposed to
analyse any process in his own mind. He had always hated dissected
puzzles even in his boyhood; and as his mind was a very good mind, he
generally let it take its own way, without troubling it with
questions. Thus he walked straight on out of the little town along the
bank of the river, and finding himself interrupted, after about three
miles, by the park-wall, he took a path through the fields to the
left, then struck back again to the right, and soon after had a
glimpse of the river again above its passage through Sir John
Slingsby's park.
All this time Ned Hayward's mind was not unoccupied. He saw every
thing that was passing about him, and meditated upon it without
knowing that he was meditating. The sky was still quite gray when he
set out, but presently the morning began to hang out her banners of
purple and gold to welcome the monarch of day, and Ned Hayward said to
himself, "How wonderfully beautiful all this is, and what a fine
ordination is it that every change in nature should produce some
variety of beauty." Then he remarked upon the trees, and the birds,
and the meadows, and the reflections of the sky in a clear, smooth
part of the river, and with somewhat of a painter's mind, perceived
the beautiful harmony that is produced by the effect that one colour
has upon another by its side. And then he passed a little village
church, with the steeple shrouded in ivy, and it filled his mind full
of quiet and peaceful images, and simple rural life (with a moral to
it all), and his thoughts ran on to a thousand scenes of honest
happiness, till he had the game at skittles and the maypole on the
green up before him as plain as if it were all real; and the ivy and
two old yews carried him away to early times when that ancient church
was new. Heaven knows how far his fancy went galloping!--through the
whole history of England at least. But all these reveries went out of
his head almost as soon as the objects that excited them, and then, as
he went through some neat hedgerows and pleasant corn-fields, which
promised well in their green freshness for an abundant harvest, he
began to think of partridges and an occasional pheasant lying under a
holly-bush, and pointing dogs and tumbling birds, a full game-bag, and
a capital dinner, with a drowsy evening afterwards. Good Heaven! what
a thing it is to be young, and in high health, and in high spirits;
how easy the load of life sits upon one; how insignificant are its
cares to its enjoyments; every moment has its flitting dream; every
hour its becoming enjoyment, if we choose to seek it; every flower, be
it bitter or be it sweet, be it inodorous or be it perfumed, has its
nectarial fall of honeyed drops, ripe for the lip that will vouchsafe
to press it. But years, years, they bring on the autumn of the heart,
when the bright and blooming petals have passed away, when the dreams
have vanished with the light slumbers of early years, and every thing
is in the seed for generations to come; we feel ourselves the husks of
the earth, and find that it is time to fall away, and give place to
the bloom and blossom of another epoch.
Our friend, however, if not in the budding time of life, had nothing
of the sere and yellow leaf about him; he was one of those men who was
calculated to carry on the day-dream of boyhood, even beyond its
legitimate limit; nothing fretted him, nothing wore him, few things
grieved him. It required the diamond point to make a deep impression,
and though he reflected the lights that fell upon him from other
objects, it was but the more powerful rays that penetrated into the
depth, and that not very frequently. Thus on he went upon his way, and
what he had got to after partridges and field-swamps, and matters of
such kind, Heaven only knows. He might be up in the moon for aught I
can tell, or in the Indies, or riding astride upon a comet, or in any
other position the least likely for a man to place himself in, except
when aided by the wings of imagination; and yet, strange to say, Ned
Hayward had not the slightest idea that he had any imagination at all.
He believed himself to be the most simple jog-trot, matter-of-fact
creature in all the world; but to return, he was indulging in all
sorts of fantasies, just when a little path between two high hedges
opened out upon a narrow meadow, by the side of the river at a spot
just opposite the old mill, and not more than forty or fifty yards
distant from the door thereof. He saw the old mill and the stream, but
saw nothing else upon my word, and thinking to himself,
"What a picturesque ruin that is, it looks like some feudal castle
built beside the water, parting two hostile barons' domains. What the
deuce can it have been?"
Doubt with him always led to examination, so without more ado, he
crossed over the open space with his usual quick step, entered the
mill, looked about him, satisfied himself in a minute as to what had
been its destination, and then gazed out of the windows, first up the
stream, and next down. Up the stream he saw some swallows skimming
over the water, the first that summer had brought to our shores; and,
moreover, a sedate heron, with its blue back appearing over some
reeds, one leg in the water, and one raised to its breast. When he
looked down, however, he perceived the gentleman I have described,
dropping some pellets into the water, and he thought "That's a curious
operation, what can he be about?"
The next minute, however, the legitimate wooer of the fishes turned
his face partly towards the mill, and Ned Hayward murmured, "Ah ha,
Master Wolf, _alias_ Ste Gimlet, I have you now, I think." And issuing
forth, he dogged him down the bank as I have before described, till at
length, choosing his moment dexterously, he grasped him by the collar,
in such a manner, that if he had had the strength of Hercules, he
would have found it a more difficult matter to escape, than to kill
forty Hydras, or clean fifty Augean stables.
"Hocussing the fish!" said the prisoner, in answer to one of Captain
Hayward's first intimations of what he thought of his proceedings. "I
don't know what you mean by hocussing the fish--I've got a few dead
'uns out of the river, that's all; and no great harm, I should think,
just to make a fry."
"Ay, my good friend," replied Ned Hayward, "dead enough, I dare say
they were when you got them; but I'm afraid we must have a coroner's
inquest upon them, and I do not think the verdict will be 'Found
drowned.' What I mean, my man, is that you have poisoned them--a
cunning trick, but one that I know as well as your name or my own."
"And what the devil is your name?" asked the captive, trying to twist
himself round, so as at least to get a blow or a kick at his captor.
"Be quiet--be quiet!" answered Ned Hayward, half strangling him in his
collar. "My name is my own property, and I certainly will not give it
to you; but your own you shall have, if you like. You are called Ste
Gimlet or I am mistaken, but better known at night by the name of
Wolf."
The man muttered an angry curse, and Ned Hayward continued,
"You see I know all about you; and, to tell you the truth, I was
looking for you."
"Ah, so he's had some 'un down from London," said Wolf, entirely
mistaking the nature of Captain Hayward's rank and avocation. "Well,
so help me--, if I ever did this on his ground, afore, Sir."
"Well, Master Gimlet," answered Ned Hayward, perfectly understanding
what was passing in the man's mind, and willing to encourage the
mistake, "I have been asked down certainly, and I suppose I must take
you before Sir John Slingsby at once--unless, indeed, you like to make
the matter up one way or another."
"I haven't got a single crown in the world," answered the poacher; "if
you know all, you'd know that I am poor enough."
"Ay, but there are more ways than one of making matters up," rejoined
Ned Hayward, in a menacing tone. "You know a little bit of business
you were about last night."
The man's face turned as white as a sheet, and his limbs trembled as
if he had been in the cold fit of an ague. All his strength was gone
in a moment, and he was as powerless as a baby.
"Why," faltered he at length, "you could not be sent for that affair,
for there's not been time."
"No, certainly," replied the young gentleman; "but having been asked
down here on other matters, I have just taken that up, and may go
through with it or not, just as it suits me. Now you see, Ste," he
continued, endeavouring to assume, as well as he could, somewhat of
the Bow-street officer tone, and doing so quite sufficiently to effect
his object with a country delinquent, "a nod you know is quite as good
as a wink to a blind horse."
"Ay, ay, I understand, Sir," answered Mr. Gimlet.
"Well then," continued Ned Hayward, "I understand, too; and being
quite sure that you are not what we call the principal in this
business, but only an accessory, I am willing to give you a chance."
"Thank'ee, Sir," replied Wolf, in a meditative tone, but he said no
more; and his captor, who wished him to speak voluntarily, was
somewhat disappointed.
"You are mighty dull, Master Wolf," said Ned Hayward, "and therefore I
must ask you just as plain a question as the judge does when he has
got the black cap in his hand ready to put on. Have you any thing to
say why I should not take you at once before Sir John Slingsby?"
"Why, what the devil should I say?" rejoined the man, impatiently. "If
you know me, I dare say you know the others, and if you're so cunning,
you must guess very well that it was not the money that we were after;
so that it can't be no felony after all."
"If it is not a felony, it is not worth my while to meddle with,"
answered Ned Hayward, "but there may be different opinions upon that
subject; and if you like to tell me all about it, I shall be able to
judge. I guessed it was not for money; but there is many a thing as
bad as that. I don't ask you to speak, but you may if you like. If you
don't, come along."
"Well, I'll speak all I know," answered Wolf, "that's to say, if
you'll just let me get breath, for, hang me, if your grip does not
half strangle me. I'll not mention names though, for I won't peach;
but just to show you that there was nothing so very wrong, I'll tell
you what it was all about--that's to say, if you'll let me off about
these devils of fish."
"Agreed as to the fish," replied Ned Hayward, "if you tell the truth.
I don't want to throttle you either, my good friend; but mark me well,
if I let go my hold, and you attempt to bolt, I will knock you down,
and have you before a magistrate in five minutes. Sit down there on
the bank then." And without loosening his grasp, he forced his
prisoner to bend his knees and take up a position before him, from
which it would not have been possible to rise without encountering a
blow from a very powerful fist. When this was accomplished, he let the
man's collar go, and standing directly opposite, bade him proceed.
This seemed not so easy a task as might have been imagined, at least
to our friend Mr. Gimlet, who, not being a practised orator, wanted
the art of saying as much as possible upon every thing unimportant,
and as little as possible upon every thing important. He scratched his
head heartily, however, and that stimulus at length enabled him to
produce the following sentence.
"Well, you see, Sir, it was nothing at all but a bit of lovemaking."
"It did not look like it," answered Ned Hayward.
"Well, it was though," said Mr. Gimlet, in a decided tone. "The young
gentleman, whom I'm talking of, wanted to get the young lady away; for
you see her mother looks very sharp after her, and so he had a chaise
ready, and me and another to help him, and if those two fellows had
not come up just as we were about it, he'd have had her half way to
Scotland by this time."
"And where is the young gentleman, as you call him, now?" asked Ned
Hayward, in that sort of quiet, easy tone, in which people sometimes
put questions, which, if considered seriously, would be the least
likely to receive an answer, just as if a straightforward reply were a
matter of course.
But his companion was upon his guard. "That's neither here nor there,"
he replied.
"It is I can assure you, my good friend Wolf," said the young
gentleman; "for whatever you may think, this was just as much a felony
as if you had taken a purse or cut a throat. Two pistols were fired, I
think--the young lady is an heiress; and forcibly carrying away an
heiress, is as bad as a robbery; it is a sort of picking her pocket of
herself. So, if you have a mind to escape a noose, you'll instantly
tell me where he is."
The man thrust his hands into his pockets, and gazed at his
interrogator with a sullen face, in which fear might be seen
struggling with dogged resolution; but Ned Hayward the moment after,
added as a sort of rider to his bill,
"I dare say he is some low fellow who did it for her money."
"No, that he's not, by--!" cried the other. "He's a gentleman's son,
and a devilish rich un's too."
"Ah ha! Mr. Wittingham's!" cried Ned Hayward, "now I understand you,"
and he laughed with his peculiar clear, merry laugh, which made Mr.
Gimlet, at first angry, and then inclined to join him. "And now, my
good friend," continued Ned Hayward, laying his hand upon his
companion's shoulder, "you may get up and be off. You've made a great
blunder, and mistaken me for a very respectable sort of functionary,
upon whose peculiar province I have no inclination to trespass any
further--I mean a thief-taker. If you will take my advice, however,
neither you nor Mr. Wittingham will play such tricks again, for if you
do you may fare worse; and you may as well leave off hocussing trout,
snaring pheasants and hares, and shooting partridges on the sly, and
take to some more legitimate occupation. You would make a very good
gamekeeper, I dare say, upon the principle of setting a thief to catch
a thief, and some of these days I will come up to your place upon the
moor, and have a chat with you about it; I doubt not you could show me
some sport with otters, or badgers, or things of that kind."
"Upon my soul and body you're a cool hand," cried Ste Gimlet, rising
and looking at Captain Hayward, as if he did not well know whether to
knock him down or not.
"I am," answered our friend Ned, with a calm smile, "quite cool, and
always cool, as you'll find when you know me better. As to what has
passed to-day I shall take no notice of this fish affair, and in
regard to Mr. Wittingham's proceedings last night, I shall deliberate
a little before I act. You'd better tell him so when you next see him,
just to keep him on his good behaviour, and so good morning to you, my
friend."
Thus saying, Ned Hayward turned away, and walked towards the town,
without once looking back to see whether his late prisoner was or was
not about to hit him a blow on the head. Perhaps had he known what was
passing in worthy Mr. Gimlet's mind, he might have taken some
precaution; for certainly that gentleman was considerably moved; but
if the good and the bad spirit had a struggle together in his breast,
the good got the better at length, and he exclaimed, "No, hang it, I
won't," and with a slow and thoughtful step he walked up the stream
again, towards the path which led to the moor.
Upon that path I shall leave him, and begging the reader to get
upon any favourite horse he may have in the stable--hobby or not
hobby--canter gaily back again to take up some friends that we have
left far behind.