We have observed that boys, in conjugating verbs, give no indications of
delight, except that which an ingenious disposition always feels in
the acquisition of knowledge. Now, having arrived at that part of the
Grammar in which it becomes necessary that these same verbs should be
considered, we feel ourselves in an awkward dilemma. The omission of the
conjugations is a _serious_ omission--which, of course, is objectionable
in a _comic_ work--and the insertion of them would be equally serious,
and therefore quite as improper. What _shall_ we do? We will adopt a
middle course; referring the reader to Murray and other talented authors
for full information on these matters; and requesting him to be content
with our confining ourselves {059}to what is more especially suitable to
these pages--a glance at the _Comicalities_ of verbs.
If being a youngster I had not been smitten,
Of having been jilted I should not complain,
Take warning from me all ye lads who are bitten,
When this part of Grammar occurs to your brain.
As there is a certain _intensity_ of feeling abroad, which renders
people indisposed to trouble themselves with verbal matters, we shall
take the liberty of making very short work of the Regular Verbs. Even
Murray can only afford to conjugate one example,--To Love. The learner
must amplify this part of the Grammar for himself: and we recommend him
to substitute for "to love," some word less harrowing to a sensitive
mind: as, "to fleece, to tax," verbs which excite disagreeable emotions
only in a sordid one; and which also, by association of ideas, conduct
us to useful reflections on Political Economy. We advise all whom it
may concern, however, to pay the greatest attention to this part of the
Grammar, and before they come to the Verbs Regular, to make a particular
study of the Auxiliary Verbs: not only for the excellent reasons set
forth, in "Tristram Shandy," but also to avoid those awkward mistakes
in which the Comicalities of the Verbs, or Verbal Comicalities, chiefly
consist.
"Did it rain to-morrow?" asked Monsieur Grenouille.
"Yes it was!" replied Monsieur Crapaud.
We propose the following as an _auxiliary mode_ of conjugating
verbs:--"I love to roam on the crested foam, Thou lovest to roam on the
crested foam, He loves to roam on the crested foam, We love to roam on
the {060}crested foam, Ye or you love to roam on the crested foam, They
love to roam on the crested foam," &c.
The Auxiliary Verbs, too, are very useful when a peculiar emphasis is
required: as, "I shall give you a drubbing!"
"Will you?"
"I know a trick worth two of that."
"Do you, though?"
"It might" as the Quaker said to the Yankee, who wanted to know what his
name might be; "it might be Beelzebub, but it is not."
[Illustration: 069]
Now we may as well say what we have to say about the conjugation of
regular verbs active.