Barlow. No buts, my dear boy. You just stay where you are.
Yardsley's right. It would be an awful grind on you if this ever
became known. Bob can fix it up in two minutes with the captain, and
Mrs. Bradley can come right back with him. Besides, he can get there
in five minutes on his wheel. It will take you twenty on the cars.
Yardsley. Precisely. Meanwhile, Brad, you'd better learn to ride
the wheel, so that Mrs. B. won't have to ride alone. This ought to
be a lesson to you.
Perkins. Bully idea (rubbing his ankle). You can use my wheel to-
night--I--I think I've had enough for the present. (Aside.) The
pavements aren't soft enough for me; and, O Lord! what a stony curb
that was!
Bradley. I never thought I'd get so low.
Yardsley. Well, it seems to me that a man with a wife in jail
needn't be too stuck up to ride a bicycle. But--by-by--I'm off.
[Exit.
Mrs. Perkins. Poor Emma--out for freedom, and lands in jail. What
horrid things policemen are, to arrest a woman!
Bradley (indignantly). Served her right! If women won't obey the
law they ought to be arrested, the same as men. If she wasn't my
wife, I'd like to see her sent up for ten years or even twenty years.
Women have got no business--
Barlow. Don't get mad, Brad. If you knew the fascination of the
wheel you wouldn't blame her a bit.
Bradley (calming down). Well--I suppose it has some fascination.
Perkins (anxious to escape further lessons). Oh, indeed, it's a most
exhilarating sensation: you seem to be flying like a bird over the
high-ways. Try it, Ned. Go on, right away. You don't know how that
little ride I had braced me up.
Barlow (wish a laugh). There! Hear that! There's a man who's
ridden only eight inches in all his life--and he says he felt like a
bird!
Perkins (aside). Yes--like a spring chicken split open for broiling.
Next time I ride a wheel it'll be four wheels, with a horse fastened
in front. Oh my! oh my! I believe I've broken my back too. [Lies
down.
Bradley. You seem to be exhilarated, Thaddeus.
Perkins (bracing up). Oh, I am, I am. Never felt worse--that is,
better.
Barlow. Come on, Brad. I'll show you the trick in two jiffies--
it'll relieve your worry about madam, too.
Bradley. Very well--I suppose there's no way out of it. Only let me
know as soon as Emma arrives, will you?
Mrs. Perkins. Yes--we will.
[They go out. As they disappear through the door Thaddeus groans
aloud.
Mrs. Perkins. Why--what is the matter, dear? Are you hurt?
Perkins. Oh no--not at all, my love. I was only thinking of Mr.
Jarley's indignation to-morrow when he sees the hole I made in his
curb-stone with my ankle--oh!--ow!--and as for my back, while I don't
think the whole spine is gone, I shouldn't be surprised if it had
come through in sections.