Some people are Freethinkers from sheer stupidity. My Uncle Sosthenes
was one of these. Some people are often religious for the same reason.
The very sight of a priest threw my uncle into a violent rage. He would
shake his fist and make grimaces at him, and would then touch a piece
of iron when the priest's back was turned, forgetting that the latter
action showed a belief after all, the belief in the evil eye. Now, when
beliefs are unreasonable, one should have all or none at all. I myself
am a Freethinker; I revolt at all dogmas, but feel no anger toward
places of worship, be they Catholic, Apostolic, Roman, Protestant,
Greek, Russian, Buddhist, Jewish, or Mohammedan.
My uncle was a Freemason, and I used to declare that they are stupider
than old women devotees. That is my opinion, and I maintain it; if we
must have any religion at all, the old one is good enough for me.
What is their object? Mutual help to be obtained by tickling the palms
of each other's hands. I see no harm in it, for they put into practice
the Christian precept: “Do unto others as ye would they should do unto
you.” The only difference consists in the tickling, but it does not seem
worth while to make such a fuss about lending a poor devil half a crown.
To all my arguments my uncle's reply used to be:
“We are raising up a religion against a religion; Free Thought will kill
clericalism. Freemasonry is the stronghold, of those who are demolishing
all deities.”
“Very well, my dear uncle,” I would reply--in my heart I felt inclined
to say, “You old idiot! it is just that which I am blaming you for.
Instead of destroying, you are organizing competition; it is only a case
of lowering prices. And then, if you admitted only Freethinkers among
you, I could understand it, but you admit anybody. You have a number of
Catholics among you, even the leaders of the party. Pius IX is said to
have been one of you before he became pope. If you call a society with
such an organization a bulwark against clericalism, I think it is an
extremely weak one.”
“My dear boy,” my uncle would reply, with a wink, “we are most to be
dreaded in politics; slowly and surely we are everywhere undermining the
monarchical spirit.”
Then I broke out: “Yes, you are very clever! If you tell me that
Freemasonry is an election machine, I will grant it. I will never deny
that it is used as a machine to control candidates of all shades; if you
say that it is only used to hoodwink people, to drill them to go to the
polls as soldiers are sent under fire, I agree with you; if you declare
that it is indispensable to all political ambitions because it changes
all its members into electoral agents, I should say to you: 'That is as
clear as the sun.' But when you tell me that it serves to undermine the
monarchical spirit, I can only laugh in your face.
“Just consider that gigantic and secret democratic association which
had Prince Napoleon for its grand master under the Empire; which has
the Crown Prince for its grand master in Germany, the Czar's brother in
Russia, and to which the Prince of Wales and King Humbert, and nearly
all the crowned heads of the globe belong.”
“You are quite right,” my uncle said; “but all these persons are serving
our projects without guessing it.”