Quints or Semitenths
The task which Lady Glencora had taken upon herself was not a very
easy one. No doubt Lord Fawn was a man subservient to the leaders of
his party, much afraid of the hard judgment of those with whom he
was concerned, painfully open to impression from what he would have
called public opinion, to a certain extent a coward, most anxious to
do right so that he might not be accused of being in the wrong,--and
at the same time gifted with but little of that insight into things
which teaches men to know what is right and what is wrong. Lady
Glencora, having perceived all this, felt that he was a man upon
whom a few words from her might have an effect. But even Lady
Glencora might hesitate to tell a gentleman that he ought to marry
a lady, when the gentleman had already declared his intention of not
marrying, and had attempted to justify his decision almost publicly
by a reference to the lady's conduct. Lady Glencora almost felt that
she had undertaken too much as she turned over in her mind the means
she had of performing her promise to Lady Eustace.
The five-farthing bill had been laid upon the table on a Tuesday, and
was to be read the first time on the following Monday week. On the
Wednesday Lady Glencora had written to the duke, and had called in
Hertford Street. On the following Sunday she was at Matching, looking
after the duke;--but she returned to London on the Tuesday, and on
the Wednesday there was a little dinner at Mr. Palliser's house,
given avowedly with the object of further friendly discussion
respecting the new Palliser penny. The prime minister was to be
there, and Mr. Bonteen, and Barrington Erle, and those special
members of the Government who would be available for giving special
help to the financial Hercules of the day. A question, perhaps of no
great practical importance, had occurred to Mr. Palliser,--but one
which, if overlooked, might be fatal to the ultimate success of the
measure. There is so much in a name,--and then an ounce of ridicule
is often more potent than a hundredweight of argument. By what
denomination should the fifth part of a penny be hereafter known?
Some one had, ill-naturedly, whispered to Mr. Palliser that a
farthing meant a fourth, and at once there arose a new trouble, which
for a time bore very heavily on him. Should he boldly disregard the
original meaning of the useful old word; or should he venture on the
dangers of new nomenclature? October, as he said to himself, is still
the tenth month of the year, November the eleventh, and so on, though
by these names they are so plainly called the eighth and ninth. All
France tried to rid itself of this absurdity, and failed. Should he
stick by the farthing; or should he call it a fifthing, a quint, or
a semitenth? "There's the 'Fortnightly Review' comes out but once a
month," he said to his friend Mr. Bonteen, "and I'm told that it does
very well." Mr. Bonteen, who was a rational man, thought the "Review"
would do better if it were called by a more rational name, and was
very much in favour of "a quint." Mr. Gresham had expressed an
opinion, somewhat off-hand, that English people would never be got
to talk about quints, and so there was a difficulty. A little dinner
was therefore arranged, and Mr. Palliser, as was his custom in such
matters, put the affair of the dinner into his wife's hands. When he
was told that she had included Lord Fawn among the guests he opened
his eyes. Lord Fawn, who might be good enough at the India Office,
knew literally nothing about the penny. "He'll take it as the
greatest compliment in the world," said Lady Glencora. "I don't want
to pay Lord Fawn a compliment," said Mr. Palliser. "But I do," said
Lady Glencora. And so the matter was arranged.
It was a very nice little dinner. Mrs. Gresham and Mrs. Bonteen were
there, and the great question of the day was settled in two minutes,
before the guests went out of the drawing-room. "Stick to your
farthing," said Mr. Gresham.
"I think so," said Mr. Palliser.
"Quint's a very easy word," said Mr. Bonteen.
"But squint is an easier," said Mr. Gresham, with all a prime
minister's jocose authority.
"They'd certainly be called cock-eyes," said Barrington Erle.
"There's nothing of the sound of a quarter in farthing," said Mr.
Palliser.
"Stick to the old word," said Mr. Gresham. And so the matter was
decided while Lady Glencora was flattering Lord Fawn as to the manner
in which he had finally arranged the affair of the Sawab of Mygawb.
Then they went down to dinner, and not a word more was said that
evening about the new penny by Mr. Palliser.
Before dinner Lady Glencora had exacted a promise from Lord Fawn that
he would return to the drawing-room. Lady Glencora was very clever
at such work, and said nothing then of her purpose. She did not
want her guests to run away, and therefore Lord Fawn,--Lord Fawn
especially,--must stay. If he were to go there would be nothing
spoken of all the evening, but that weary new penny. To oblige her he
must remain;--and, of course, he did remain. "Whom do you think I saw
the other day?" said Lady Glencora, when she got her victim into a
corner. Of course, Lord Fawn had no idea whom she might have seen. Up
to that moment no suspicion of what was coming upon him had crossed
his mind. "I called upon poor Lady Eustace, and found her in bed."
Then did Lord Fawn blush up to the roots of his hair, and for a
moment he was stricken dumb. "I do feel for her so much! I think she
has been so hardly used!"
He was obliged to say something. "My name has, of course, been much
mixed up with hers."
"Yes, Lord Fawn, I know it has. And it is because I am so sure of
your high-minded generosity and--and thorough devotion, that I have
ventured to speak to you. I am sure there is nothing you would wish
so much as to get at the truth."
"Certainly, Lady Glencora."
"All manner of stories have been told about her, and, as I believe,
without the slightest foundation. They tell me now that she had an
undoubted right to keep the diamonds;--that even if Sir Florian did
not give them to her, they were hers under his will. Those lawyers
have given up all idea of proceeding against her."
"Because the necklace has been stolen."
"Altogether independently of that. Do you see Mr. Eustace, and ask
him if what I say is not true. If it had not been her own she would
have been responsible for the value, even though it were stolen; and
with such a fortune as hers they would never have allowed her to
escape. They were as bitter against her as they could be;--weren't
they?"
"Mr. Camperdown thought that the property should be given up."
"Oh yes;--that's the man's name; a horrid man. I am told that he was
really most cruel to her. And then, because a lot of thieves had
got about her,--after the diamonds, you know, like flies round a
honey-pot,--and took first her necklace and then her money, they were
impudent enough to say that she had stolen her own things!"
"I don't think they quite said that, Lady Glencora."
"Something very much like it, Lord Fawn. I have no doubt in my own
mind who did steal all the things."
"Who was it?"
"Oh,--one mustn't mention names in such an affair without evidence.
At any rate, she has been very badly treated, and I shall take her
up. If I were you I would go and call upon her;--I would indeed.
I think you owe it to her. Well, duke, what do you think of
Plantagenet's penny now? Will it ever be worth two halfpence?" This
question was asked of the Duke of St. Bungay, a great nobleman whom
all Liberals loved, and a member of the Cabinet. He had come in since
dinner, and had been asking a question or two as to what had been
decided.
"Well, yes; if properly invested I think it will. I'm glad that it is
not to contain five semitenths. A semitenth would never have been a
popular form of money in England. We hate new names so much that we
have not yet got beyond talking of fourpenny bits."
"There's a great deal in a name;--isn't there? You don't think
they'll call them Pallisers, or Palls, or anything of that sort;--do
you? I shouldn't like to hear that under the new régime two lollypops
were to cost three Palls. But they say it never can be carried this
session,--and we sha'n't be in, in the next year."
"Who says so? Don't be such a prophetess of evil, Lady Glencora.
I mean to be in for the next three sessions, and I mean to see
Palliser's measure carried through the House of Lords next session. I
shall be paying for my mutton-chops at the club at so many quints a
chop yet. Don't you think so, Fawn?"
"I don't know what to think," said Lord Fawn, whose mind was intent
on other matters. After that he left the room as quickly as he could,
and escaped out into the street. His mind was very much disturbed. If
Lady Glencora was determined to take up the cudgels for the woman he
had rejected, the comfort and peace of his life would be over. He
knew well enough how strong was Lady Glencora.