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RED-TAPE
AND
PIGEON-HOLE GENERALS:
AS SEEN FROM THE RANKS
DURING A
+Campaign in the Army of the Potomac+.
BY
A CITIZEN-SOLDIER.
"We must be brief when Traitors brave the Field."
NEW YORK:
_Carleton, Publisher, 413 Broadway._
M DCCC LXIV.
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1864, by
GEO. W. CARLETON,
In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for
the Southern District of New York.
R. CRAIGHEAD,
Printer, Stereotyper, and Electrotyper
+Carton Building+,
_81, 83, and 85 Centre Street_.
PREFACE.
"Greek-fire has shivered the statue of John C. Calhoun in the streets of
the City of Charleston,"--so the papers say. Whether true or not, the
Greek-fire of the righteous indignation of a loyal people is fast
shattering the offspring of his infamous teachings,--the armed treason
of the South, and its more cowardly ally the insidious treachery that
lurks under doubtful cover in the loyal States. In thunder tones do the
masses declare, that now and for ever, they repudiate the Treason and
despise the Traitor. Nobly are the hands of our Honest President
sustained in prosecuting this most righteous war.
In a day like this, the least that can be expected of any citizen
is--duty. We are all co-partners in our beneficent government. We should
be co-laborers for her defence. Jealous of the interests of her brave
soldiery; for they are our own. Proud of their noble deeds; they
constitute our National Heritage.
If these campaign sketches, gathered in actual service during 1862-3,
and grouped during the spare hours of convalescence from a camp fever,
correct one of the least of the abuses in our military machinery--if
they lighten the toil of the humblest of our soldiers, or nerve anew the
resolves of loyalty tempted to despair, the writer will have no reason
to complain of labor lost. Great latitude of excuse for the existence of
abuses must be allowed, when we consider the suddenness with which our
volunteers sprang into ranks at the outset of the Rebellion. Now that
the warfare is a system, there is less reason for their continuance.
Reformers must, however, remember, that to keep our citizen-soldiery
effective, they must not make too much of the citizen and too little of
the soldier. Abuses must be corrected under the laws; but to be
corrected at all they must first be exposed.
Drunkenness, half-heartedness, and senseless routine, have done much to
cripple the patriotic efforts of our people. The patriotism of the man
who at this day doubts the policy of their open reproof can well be
questioned. West Point has, in too many instances, nursed imbecility and
treason; but in our honest contempt for the small men of whom, in common
with other institutions, she has had her share,--we must not ignore
those bright pages of our history adorned with the skill and heroism of
her nobler sons. McClellanism did not follow its chief from Warrenton;
or Burnside's earnestness, Hooker's dash, and Meade's soldierly stand at
Gettysburg, backed as they were by the heroic fighting of the Army of
the Potomac, would have had, as they deserved, more decisive results.
The Young Men of the Land would the writer address in the following
pages--"because they are strong," and in their strength is the nation's
hope. In certain prospect of victory over the greatest enemy we have yet
had as a nation--the present infamous rebellion--we can well await
patiently the correction of minor evils.
"Meanwhile we'll sacrifice to liberty,
Remember, O my friends! the laws, the rights,
The generous plan of power delivered down
From age to age by your renowned forefathers,
(So dearly bought, the price of so much blood;)
Oh, let it never perish in your hands!
But piously transmit it to your children.
Do thou, great liberty! inspire our souls,
And make our lives in thy possession happy.
Or our deaths glorious in thy just defence."
February, 1864.
TABLE OF CONTENTS.
CHAPTER I. PAGE
The Advent of our General of Division--Camp near Frederick City,
Maryland--The Old Revolutionary Barracks at Frederick--An Irish
Corporal's Recollections of the First Regiment of Volunteers from
Pennsylvania--Punishment in the Old First, 9
CHAPTER II.
The Treason at Harper's Ferry--Rebel Occupation of Frederick--Patriotism
of the Ladies of Frederick--A Rebel Guard nonplussed by a Lady--The
Approach to Antietam--Our Brigadier cuts Red-Tape--THE BLUNDER OF THE
DAY AFTER ANTIETAM--The Little Irish Corporal's idea of Strategy, 15
CHAPTER III.
The March to the River--Our Citizen Soldiery--Popularity of Commanders,
how Lost and how Won--The Rebel Dead--How the Rebels repay Courtesy, 27
CHAPTER IV.
A Regimental Baker--Hot Pies--Position of the Baker in line of
Battle--Troubles of the Baker--A Western Virginia Captain on a Whiskey
Scent--The Baker's Story--How to obtain Political Influence--Dancing
Attendance at Washington--What Simon says--Confiscation of Whiskey, 33
CHAPTER V.
The Scene at the Surgeon's Quarters--Our Little Dutch Doctor--Incidents
of his Practice--His Messmate the Chaplain--The Western Virginia
Captain's account of a Western Virginia Chaplain--His Solitary Oath--How
he Preached, how he Prayed, and how he Bush-whacked--His Revenge of
Snowden's Death--How the little Dutch Doctor applied the Captain's
Story, 47
CHAPTER VI
A Day at Division Head-Quarters--The Judge Advocate--The tweedle-dum and
tweedle-dee of Red-Tape as understood by Pigeon-hole Generals--Red Tape
Reveries--French Authorities on Pigeon-hole Investigations--An
Obstreperous Court and Pigeon-hole Strictures--Disgusting Head-Quarter
Profanity, 59
CHAPTER VII.
A Picket-Station on the Upper Potomac--Fitz John's Rail Order--Rails for
Corps Head-Quarters _versus_ Rails for Hospitals--The Western Virginia
Captain--Old Rosy, and How to Silence Secesh Women--The Old Woman's
Fixin's--The Captain's Orderly, 70
CHAPTER VIII.
The Reconnoissance--Shepherdstown--Punch and Patriotism--Private Tom on
West Point and Southern Sympathy--The Little Irish Corporal on John
Mitchell--A Skirmish--Hurried Dismounting of the Dutch Doctor and
Chaplain--Battle of Falling Waters not intended--Story of the Little
Irish Corporal--Patterson's Folly, or Treason, 83
CHAPTER IX.
Reconnoissance concluded--What we Saw and What we didn't See, and what
the Good Public Read--Pigeon-hole Generalship and the Press--The
Preacher Lieutenant and how he Recruited--Comparative Merits of Black
Union Men and White Rebels--A Ground Blast, and its effect upon a
Pigeon-hole General--Staff Officers Striking a Snag in the Western
Virginia Captain--Why the People have a right to expect Active Army
Movements--Red Tape and the Sick List--Pigeon-holing at Division
Head-quarters, 100
CHAPTER X.
Departure from Sharpsburg Camp--The Old Woman of Sandy Hook--Harper's
Ferry--South sewing Dragon's Teeth by shedding Old John's Blood--The
Dutch Doctor and the Boar--Beauties of Tobacco--Camp Life on the
Character--Patrick, Brother to the Little Corporal--General Patterson no
Irishman--Guarding a Potato Patch in Dixie--The Preacher Lieutenant on
Emancipation--Inspection and the Exhorting Colonel--The Scotch Tailor on
Military Matters, 116
CHAPTER XI.
Snicker's Gap--Private Harry on the "Anaconda"--Not inclined to turn
Boot-Black--"Oh! why did you go for a Soldier?"--The
ex-News-Boy--Pigeon-hole Generalship on the March--The Valley of the
Shenandoah--A Flesh Carnival--The Dutch Doctor on a Horse-dicker--An Old
Rebel, and how he parted with his Apple-Brandy--Toasting the
"Union"--Spruce Retreats, 137
CHAPTER XII.
The March to Warrenton--Secesh Sympathy and Quarter-Master's
Receipts--Middle-Borough--The Venerable Uncle Ned and his Story of the
Captain of the Tigers--The Adjutant on Strategy--Red Tapism and
Mac-Napoleonism--Movement Stopped--Division Head-Quarters out of
Whiskey--Stragglers and Marauders--A Summary Proceeding--Persimmons and
Picket-Duty--A Rebellious Pig--McClellanism, 160
CHAPTER XIII.
Camp near Warrenton--Stability of the Republic--Measures, not Men,
regarded by the Public--Removal of McClellan--Division Head-Quarters a
House of Mourning--A Pigeon-hole General and his West Point
Patent-Leather Cartridge-Box--Head-Quarter Murmuring and
Mutterings--Departure of Little Mac and the Prince--Cheering by Word of
Command--The Southern Saratoga--Rebel Regret at McClellan's Departure, 178
CHAPTER XIV.
A Skulker and the Dutch Doctor--A Review of the Corps by Old Joe--A
Change of Base; what it means to the Soldier, and what to the
Public--Our Quarter-Master and General Hooker--The Movement by the Left
Flank--A Division General and Dog driving--The Desolation of Virginia--A
Rebel Land-Owner and the Quarter-Master--"No Hoss, Sir!"--The Poetical
Lieutenant unappreciated--Mutton or Dog?--Desk Drudgery and Senseless
Routine, 193
CHAPTER XV.
Red-Tape and the Soldier's Widow--Pigeon-holing at Head-Quarters and
Weeping at the Family Fireside--A Pigeon-hole General Outwitted--Fishing
for a Discharge--The Little Irish Corporal on Topographical
Engineers--Guard Duty over a Whiskey Barrel, 210
CHAPTER XVI.
The Battle of Fredericksburg--Screwing Courage up to the Sticking
Point--Consolations of a Flask--Pigeon-hole Nervousness--Abandonment of
Knapsacks--Incidents before, during, and after the Fight, 225
CHAPTER XVII.
The Sorrows of the Sutler--The Sutler's Tent--Generals manufactured by
the Dailies--Fighting and Writing--A Glandered
Horse--Courts-martial--Mania of a Pigeon-hole General on the
Subject--Colonel and Lieutenant Colonel in Strait-Jackets, 247
CHAPTER XVIII.
Dress Coats _versus_ Blouses--Military Law--Bill the
Cook--Courts-Martial--Important Decision in Military Law--A Man with Two
Blouses on, can be compelled to put a Dress Coat on top--A Colored
French Cook and a Beefy-browed Judge-Advocate--The Mud March--No
Pigeon-holing on a Whiskey Scent--Old Joe in Command--Dissolution of
Partnership between the Dutch Doctor and the Chaplain, 264
CHAPTER XIX.
The Presentation Mania--The Western Virginia Captain in the War
Department--Politeness and Mr. Secretary Stanton--Capture of the Dutch
Doctor--A Genuine Newspaper Sell, 283
CHAPTER XX.
The Army again on the Move--Pack Mules and Wagon Trains--A Negro
Prophetess--The Wilderness--Hooped Skirts and Black Jack--The Five Days'
Fight at Chancellorsville--Terrible Death of an Aged Slave--A
Pigeon-hole General's "Power in Reserve," 295
CHAPTER XXI.
The Pigeon-hole General and his Adjutant, under Charges--The Exhorting
Colonel's Adieu to the Sunday Fight at Chancellorsville; Reasons
thereof--Speech of the Dutch Doctor in Reply to a Peace-Offering from
the Chaplain--The Irish Corporal stumping for Freedom--Black Charlie's
Compliments to his Master--Western Virginia at the Head of a Black
Regiment, 313
RED-TAPE
AND
PIGEON-HOLE GENERALS.
CHAPTER I.
_The Advent of our General of Division--Camp near Frederick City,
Maryland--The Old Revolutionary Barracks at Frederick--An Irish
Corporal's Recollections of the First Regiment of Volunteers from
Pennsylvania--Punishment in the Old First._
"Our new Division-General, boys!" exclaimed a sergeant of the 210th
Pennsylvania Volunteers, whose attention and head were turned at the
clatter of horses' hoofs to the rear. "I heard an officer say that he
would be along to-day, and I recognise his description."
The men, although weary and route-worn, straightened up, dressed their
ranks, and as the General and Staff rode past, some enthusiastic soldier
proposed cheers for our new Commander. They started with a will, but the
General's doubtful look, as interpreted by the men, gave little or no
encouragement, and the effort ended in a few ragged discordant yells.
"He is a strange-looking old covey any how," said one of the boys in an
undertone. "Did you notice that red muffler about his neck, and how
pinched up and crooked his hat is, and that odd-looking moustache, and
how savagely he cocks his eyes through his spectacles?"
"They say," replied the sergeant, "that we are the first troops that he
has commanded. He was a staff officer before in the Topographical Corps.
Didn't you notice the T.C. on his coat buttons?"
"And is he going to practise upon us?" blurts out a bustling red-faced
little Irish corporal. "Be Jabers, that accounts for the crooked cow
road we have marched through the last day--miles out of the way, and
niver a chance for coffee."
"You are too fast, Terence," said the sergeant; "if he belongs to the
Topographical Corps, he ought at least to know the roads."
"And didn't you say not two hours ago that we were entirely out of the
way, and that we had been wandering as crooked as the creek that flows
back of the old town we are from, and nearly runs through itself in a
dozen places?"
The sergeant admitted that he had said so, but stated that perhaps the
General was not to blame, and added somewhat jocosely: "At any rate the
winding of the creek makes those beautiful walks we have so much enjoyed
in summer evenings."
"Beautiful winding walks! is it, sergeant! Shure and whin you have your
forty pound wait upon your back, forty rounds of lead and powdher in
your cartridge-box, and twenty more in your pocket, three days' rations
in your haversack, a musket on your shoulder, and army brogans on your
throtters, you are just about the first man that I know of to take
straight cuts."
* * * * *
It was a close warm day near the middle of September. The roads were
dusty and the troops exhausted. Two days previously the brigade to which
they belonged had left the pleasantest of camps, called "Camp Whipple"
in honor of their former and favorite Division Commander. Situated in an
orchard on the level brow of a hill that overlooked Washington, the
imposing Capitol, the broad expanse of the Potomac dotted with frequent
craft, the many national buildings, and scenery of historic interest,
the men left it with regret, but carried with them recollections that
often in times of future depression revived their patriotic ardor.
Over dusty roads, through the muddy aqueduct of the Chesapeake and Ohio
Canal, hurried on over the roughly paved streets of Georgetown, and
through the suburbs of Washington, they finally halted for the night,
and, as it chanced through lack of orders, for the succeeding day also,
near Meridian Hill. Under orders to join the Fifth Army Corps commanded
by Major-General Fitz John Porter, to which the Division had been
previously assigned, the march was resumed on the succeeding day, which
happened to be Sunday, and in the afternoon of which our chapter opens.
A march of another day brought the Brigade to a recent Rebel camp
ground. Traces of their occupancy were found not only in their
depredations in the neighborhood destructive of railroad bridges, but
also in letters and wall-paper envelopes adorned with the lantern-jawed
phiz of Jefferson Davis. The latter were sought after with avidity as
soon as ranks were broken and tents pitched; the more eagerly perhaps
for the reason that during the greater part of their previous month of
service they had been frequently within sound of rebel cannon, although
but once under their fire. During the previous day, in fact, they had
marched to the music of the artillery of South Mountain.
That night awakened lively recollections in the mind of Terence McCarty,
our lively little Irish corporal. His duty for the time as corporal of a
relief gave him ample opportunity to indulge them. He had belonged to
the old First Pennsylvania Regiment of three months men, that a little
over a year before, when Maryland was halting between loyalty and
disloyalty, had spent its happiest week of service in the yard of the
revolutionary barracks in the city of Frederick. Terence was but two
short miles from the spot. Brimfull of the memories, he turned to a
comrade, who had also belonged to the First, and who with others chanced
to stand near.
"I say, Jack! Do you recollect the ould First and Frederick, and do you
know that we are but two miles and short ones at that from the blissed
ould white-washed barracks, full of all kind of quare guns and canteens
looking like barrels cut down; and the Parade Ground where our ould
Colonel used to come his 'Briskly, men! Briskly,' when he'd put us
through the manual, and where so many ladies would come to see our
ivolutions, and where they set the big table for us on the Fourth, and
where--"
"Hold on, corporal! you can't give that week's history to-night."
"I was only going to obsarve, Jack, that I feel like a badly used man."
"How so, Terence?"
"Why you see nearly ivery officer, commissioned and non-commissioned, of
the ould First has been promoted. The Colonel was too ould for service,
or my head on it, he would have had a star. Just look at the captains
by way of sample--Company A, a Lieutenant-Colonel, expecting and
desarving an eagle ivery day; Company B, a Lieutenant-Colonel; Company
C, our own Lieutenant-Colonel; Company D, a Brigadier for soldierly
looks, daring, and dash; Company E, a Captain in an aisy berth in the
regular service; Company F, a Colonel; Company G, a Major; Company H, a
Lieutenant-Colonel; Company I, I have lost sight of, and the
lion-hearted captain of Company K, doing a lion's share of work at the
head of a regiment in Tennessee. Now, Jack, the under officers and many
privates run pretty much the same way, but not quite as high. Bad luck
to me, I was fifth corporal thin and am eighth now--promoted
crab-fashion. Fortune's wheel gives me many a turn, Jack! but always
stops with me on the lower side."
"I saw you on the upper side once," retorted Jack roguishly.
"And whin? may I ask."
"When, do you say? why, when you took about half a canteen too much, and
that same old colonel had you tied on the upper side of a barrel on the
green in front of the barracks."
"Bad luck to an ill-natured memory, Jack, for stirring that up," replied
the corporal, breaking in upon the laughter that followed, "but I now
recollect, it was the day before you slipped the guard whin the colonel
gave you a barrel uniform with your head through the end, and kept me
for two mortal long hours in the hot sun, a tickling of you under the
nose with a straw, and daubing molasses on your chaps to plaze the
flies, to the great admiration of a big crowd of ladies and gentlemen."
Jack subsided, and the hearty laughter at the corporal's ready retort
was broken a few minutes later by a loud call for the corporal of the
guard, which hurried Terence away, dispersed the crowd, and might as
well end this chapter.