CHAPTER XXIX.

"YONDER SHINING LIGHT."

Miss Simpson's shop had undeniably become one of the lions of

Borrowness. An advertisement in the _Kirkstoun Gazette_ would have

been absolutely useless, compared with the rumour which ran from

mouth to mouth, and which brought women of all classes to see the

novelties for themselves. Rachel had to double and treble her orders

when the traveller came round, and it soon became quite impossible

for her and Mona to leave the shop at the same time.

"I find it a little difficult to do as you asked me about reading,"

Mona wrote to Mr Reynolds, "for the shop-keeping really has become

hard work, calling for all one's resources; and my cousin naturally

expects me to be sociable for a couple of hours in the evening. I

keenly appreciate, however, what you said about beginning the work

leisurely, and leaving a minimum of strain to the end; so I make it a

positive duty to read for one hour a-day, and, as a general rule, the

hour runs on to two. When my six months here are over, I will take a

short holiday, and then put myself into a regular tread-mill till

July; and I will do my very best to pass. What you said to me that

night is perfectly true. I have read too much _con amore_, going as

far afield as my fancy led me, and neglecting the old principle of

'line upon line; precept upon precept.' It certainly has been my

experience, that _wisdom_ comes, but _knowledge_ lingers; and I mean

this time, as a Glasgow professor says, to stick to a policy of

limited liability, and learn nothing that will not pay. That is what

the examiners want, and they shall not have to tell me so a third

time!

"Forgive this bit of pique. It is an expiring flame. I don't really

cherish one atom of resentment in my heart. I admit that I was

honestly beaten by the rules of the game; and, from the point of view

of the vanquished, there is nothing more to be said. I will try to

leave no more loose ends in my life, if I can help it, and I assure

you my resolution in this respect is being subjected to a somewhat

stern test here.

"It was very wise and very kind of you to make me talk the whole

subject out. I should not be so hard and priggish as I am, if, like

Lucy, I had had a father."

One morning when Rachel was out, three elderly ladies entered the

shop. They were short, thick-set, sedate, unobtrusively dignified,

and at a first glance they all looked exactly alike. At a second

glance, however, certain minor points of difference became apparent.

One had black cannon-curls on each side of her face; one wore an

eyeglass; and the third was easily differentiated by the total

absence of all means of differentiation.

"I hear Miss Simpson has got a remarkable collection of new things,"

said the one with the curls.

"Not at all remarkable, I fear," said Mona, smiling. "But she has

got a number of fresh things from London. If you will sit down, I

will show you anything you care to see."

If Mona was brusque and cavalier in her treatment of her

fellow-students, nothing could exceed the gentle respect with which

she instinctively treated women older than herself. She had that

inborn sense of the privileges and rights of age which is perhaps the

rarest and most lovable attribute of youth.

The ladies remained for half an hour, and they spent

three-and-sixpence.

"I think I have seen you sometimes at the Baptist Chapel," said the

one with the eyeglass, as they rose to go.

"Yes, I have been there sometimes with my cousin."

"Have you been baptised?" asked the one who had no distinguishing

feature.

"Oh yes!" said Mona, rather taken aback by the question.

"I notice you don't stay to the Communion," said the one with the

curls.

"I was baptised in the Church of England."

"Oh!" said all three at once, in a tone that made Mona feel herself

an utter fraud.

"You must have a talk with Mr Stuart," said the one with the

eyeglass, recovering herself first. Every one agreed that she was

the "cliverest" of the sisters.

"Yes," said the others, catching eagerly at a method of reconciling

Christian charity and fidelity to principle; and, with enquiries

after Miss Simpson, they left the shop.

"It would be the Miss Bonthrons," said Rachel, when she heard Mona's

description of the new customers. "They are a great deal looked up

to in Kirkstoun. Their father was senior deacon in the Baptist

Chapel for years, and the pulpit was all draped with black when he

died. He has left them very well provided for, too."

Meanwhile Matilda Cookson had found an object in life, and was happy.

It was well for her that her enthusiastic devotion to Mona was

weighted by the ballast of conscientious work, or her last state

might have been worse than her first. As it was, she laboured hard,

and when her family enquired the cause of her sudden fit of

diligence, she took a pride in looking severely mysterious. Miss

Maclean was a princess in disguise, and she was the sole custodian of

the great secret. The constant effort to refrain from confiding it,

even to her sister, was, in its way, as valuable a bit of moral

discipline as was the laborious translation of the _Geier-Wally_.

"I would have come sooner," she said one day to Mona at Castle

Maclean, "but my people can't see why I want to walk on the beach at

this time of year, and it is so difficult to get rid of Clarinda. Of

course if they knew you were Lady Munro's niece they would be only

too glad that I should meet you anywhere, but I have not breathed a

syllable of that."

She spoke with pardonable pride. She had not yet learned to spare

Mona's feelings, and the latter sighed involuntarily.

"Thank you," she said; "but I don't want you to meet me 'on the sly.'"

"I thought of that. Mother would not be at all pleased at my getting

to know you as things are, or as she thinks they are; but if there

was a row, and she found out that you were Lady Munro's niece, she

would more than forgive me. You will tell people who you are some

time, won't you?"

For, after all, in what respect is a princess in disguise better than

other people, if the story has no _dénouement_?

"I wish very much," said Mona patiently, "that you would try to see

the matter from my point of view. I have taken no pains to prevent

people from finding out who my other relatives are; but, as a matter

of personal taste, I prefer that they should not talk of it.

Besides, it is just as unpleasant to me to be labelled Lady Munro's

niece, as to be labelled Miss Simpson's cousin. People who really

care for me, care for myself."

Matilda had been straining her eyes in the direction of "yonder

shining light," and she certainly thought she saw it. The difficulty

was to keep it in view when she was talking to her mother or Clarinda.

"You know I care for you yourself," she said. "I don't think I ever

cared for anybody so much in my life."

"Hush-sh! It is not wise to talk like that when you know me so

little. If the scale turns, you will hate me all the more because

you speak so strongly now."

"_Hate you!_" laughed Matilda, with the sublime confidence of

eighteen.

"How goes _Geier-Wally_?"

Mona had a decided gift for teaching, and the next half-hour passed

pleasantly for both of them. Then, in a very shamefaced way, Matilda

drew a letter from her pocket. "I wanted to tell you," she said, "I

have been writing to--to--my friend."

Her face turned crimson as she spoke. She had met Mona several

times, but this was the first reference either of them had made to

the original subject of debate.

"Have you?" said Mona quietly.

"Yes. Would you mind reading the letter? I should like to know if

there is anything I ought to alter."

Mona read the letter. It was headed by a showy crest and

address-stamp, and it was without exception the most pathetic and the

most ridiculous production she had ever seen. It was very long, and

very sentimental: it made repeated reference to "your passionate

love"; and, to Mona's horror, it wound up with the line about the

martyrs.

However, it had one saving feature. Between the beginning and the

end, Matilda did contrive to give expression to the conviction that

she had done wrong in meeting her correspondent, and to the

determination that she never would do it again. Compared with this

everything else mattered little.

"Is that what you would have said?" she asked eagerly, as Mona

finished reading it.

"It would be valueless if it were," said Mona, smiling. "He wants

your views, not mine. But in quoting that line you are creating for

yourself a lofty tradition that will not always be easy to live up

to. I speak to myself as much as to you, for it was I who set you

the example--for evil or good. You and I burn our boats when we

allow ourselves to repeat a line like that."

"I want to burn them," said Matilda eagerly, only half understanding

what was in Mona's mind. "I am quite sure you have burned yours.

Then you don't want me to write it over again?"

"No," said Mona reflectively. "You have said definitely what you

intended to say, and few girls could have done as much under the

circumstances. Moreover, you have said it in your own way, and that

is better than saying it in some one else's way. No, I would not

write it over again."

"Thanks awfully. I am very glad you think it will do. It is a great

weight off my mind to have it done. I owe a great deal to you, Miss

Maclean."

"I owe you a great deal," said Mona, colouring. "You have taught me

a lesson against hasty judgment. When you came into the shop to buy

blue ribbon, I certainly did not think you capable of that amount of

moral pluck," and she glanced at the letter on Matilda's lap.

"What you must have thought of us!" exclaimed Matilda, blushing in

her turn. "Two stuck-up, provincial--cats! Tell me, Miss Maclean,

did Dr Dudley know then--what I know about you?"

Matilda was progressing. She saw that Mona winced at the unceasing

reference to Lady Munro, so she attempted a periphrasis.

"He does not know now."

"Then I shall like Dr Dudley as long as I live. He is sarcastic and

horrid, but he must be one of the people you were talking of the

other day who see the invisible."

For Mona had got into the way of giving utterance to her thoughts

almost without reserve when Matilda Cookson was with her. It was

pleasant to see the look of rapt attention on the girl's face, and

Mona did not realise--or realising, she did not care--how little her

companion understood. Mona's talk ought to have been worth listening

to in those days when her life was so destitute of companionship; but

the harvest of her thought was carried away by the winds and the

waves, and only a few stray gleanings fell into the eager

outstretched hands of Matilda Cookson. Yet the girl was developing,

as plants develop on a warm damp day in spring, and Mona was

unspeakably grateful to her. The Colonel's story had not interfered

with Mona's determination to "take up each day with both hands, and

live it with all her might;" but it certainly had not made it any

easier to see the ideal in the actual. Here, however, was one little

human soul who clung to her, depended on her, learnt from her; and it

would have been difficult to determine on which side the balance of

benefit really lay.

Mona Maclean, Medical Student: A Novel · 第 29 / 64 章