_House of Commons, Tuesday, August 20, 2.18 A.M._--New
Members, and some who sat in last Parliament, have had opportunity
to-night of tasting old times at Westminster. As R. G. WEBSTER
pointedly observes, "TIM HEALY has drawn his shillelagh, and
thrown away the scabbard." Here is House of 670 Members, in Session
in obedience to constitutional conditions. Must needs meet on 12th
of August; but every man, or nearly everyone, chiefly anxious to get
necessary business over as soon as possible, and so off to moor or sea,
or quiet home in long-severed country across the Irish Sea or beyond
the Tweed. TIM HEALY has introduced Bill to amend Municipal
Franchise in Ireland; wants to carry it through all its stages, and
send it on to Lords before Prorogation. "Only a little one," he pleads.
PRINCE ARTHUR points out if exception made in one case will be
claimed in others. Can't oblige TIM.
"Very well," says the Implacable One; "then see what it will cost you.
No Bill no holiday, at least not as long as I can stand on floor and
raise my voice."
All through the long sitting TIM been to the fore. No matter
what subject, it served for him to take objection, and in most cases
division. ATTORNEY-GENERAL wanted to take first reading
Expiring Laws Continuance Bill; a purely formal procedure; a matter
of course at end of each Session. TIM objected. After vain
protest, ATTORNEY-GENERAL retired. PRINCE ARTHUR
moved debate on Limerick election should have particular place on
Agenda. TIM objected. Such a course, he argued, implied
that debate on the dutiful address to most gracious speech from the
throne might be interrupted in favour of any ordinary business.
In voice faltering with emotion TIM resented this slight
upon his Sovereign. Next in enormity was evidence discerned by his
keen vision of demoralising influence of HEMPRER JOE on
Conservative principles. Before the fusion, Conservatives held sacred
all constitutional precedents. Now, with a light heart, they proposed
to flout an ordinance that had prevailed for seven hundred years.
Why seven hundred nobody knew. TIM might have put it at eight
hundred or a thousand; but he is, above all things, a moderate man.
SPEAKER ruled PRINCE ARTHUR'S procedure strictly
in order. SQUIRE OF MALWOOD, coming to rescue of Ministers,
admitted it was a course invariably taken under former Ministry.
TIM took his stand on the British Constitution; put his
protecting arms round his affronted Sovereign; declined to budge, and
the master of many legions surrendered.
The same through long sitting, which closes at this moment with
dawn surprising the blushing East. On successive questions--the
suspension of twelve o'clock rule, the SPEAKER leaving Chair
without question put, Chitral, and a long series of formal motions in
Supply--TIM delivered innumerable speeches; took in all ten
divisions. Once, House being cleared for division, he, in conformity
with quaint requirements of the moment, remained seated with hat on,
contesting points of order with SPEAKER. Alone he did it.
Although from fifty to a hundred Members went out to vote with him,
none felt capable of joining in his masterly controversy with the
masterful SPEAKER.
[Illustration: Tim takes the leading part in the performance of _Much
Ado about Nothing_, by the John Daly Company.
"We shall stay here at least a month; and he (Benedick) heartily prays
some occasion may detain us longer."
_Much Ado_, &c., Act I., Sc. 1.]
Hard lines for new SPEAKER; in Chair for nearly twelve hours,
incessantly on the watch. But, as SARK says, the game has
for him been well worth burning the candle at both ends. To-night's
sitting has finally established his position in the Chair.
_Business done._--Address agreed to.
* * * * *
_Tuesday._--SARK, whose knowledge of SHAKSPEARE is
extensive and peculiar, goes about humming:--
Ban, ban Caliban.
Got new House Commons;
Get new Chair_man_.
This accomplished to-night in simplest fashion. Two hours discussion
of Limerick's flash of humour in having elected to represent it in
Parliament a gentleman languishing in one of Her Majesty's prisons.
This disposed of, House went into Committee of Supply. But as yet we
have no Chairman. MELLOR'S unrequited labours closed with life
of last Parliament. SARK always says justice never done to
MELLOR.
"A painstaking, upright, courteous gentleman," he testifies. "Much
too good for obstruction's daily food in Chair of Committees. If
he had a fault tending to incapacitate him for Chair, it was the
extreme geniality of a nature that made him shrink from giving pain.
He came into office at an epoch of exceptional difficulty. LYON
PLAYFAIR had bad time when he was hampered by well-organised,
ruthless obstruction led by PARNELL. Obstruction to the
Home-Rule Bill throughout first session of MELLOR'S
chairmanship not less ably led, for JOE, not yet come to
Imperial estate, was much to the fore. It was certainly not less
ruthless; numerically was in treble force. To obfusticate the Chairman
was easiest, most effective way of delaying progress of Bill through
Committee; MELLOR suffered accordingly. The order of things
should have been reversed. MELLOR should come to Chair to-day.
LOWTHER should have had his job in Session of 1893. JAMES
W. is endowed in marked degree with the quality of phlegm
invaluable to Chairman in troublous times. What worried sensitive
nature of MELLOR would have flurried him no more than bucket
of water cast over a duck's back."
"I was made a corporal just in time," said PRIVATE HANBURY,
musing over recent turns in wheel of fortune. "With JAMES W.
in the Chair, I would rather have charge of the Estimates than be
engaged in obstructing their passage."
HERMON HODGE, after enjoying the fresh air of the country
for three years, comes back to House and loftily complains of the
atmosphere. "Is the first Commissioner of Works aware," he inquired,
"that in the early part of the afternoon there was a most horrible
smell of drains at the bar of the House?"
"Hoightytoighty!" said JOHN WILLIAM. "What does the man mean?
What is he doing at the bar if he objects to the smell of what he calls
drains, meaning nips? What is the particular flavour that offends his
sensibilities? Is it whiskey or rum? Who is he that he should interfere
with the private tastes of hon. Members? To complain of the smell
of drains at the bar at a time when the British electorate have, by
overwhelming majorities, declared against any tampering with The Trade
interests, is too much from a man who has shared in the benefit derived
on our side by the wholesome current of public opinion."
[Illustration: "John William" (M-cl-re) in unwonted state of agitation.]
Never saw JOHN WILLIAM so put about. Usually brimming over
with good living and fine feeling.
_Business done._--Some votes in Committee of Supply.
* * * * *
_Wednesday._--STANLEY delivered maiden speech. Did it very
well, too. A double contribution to success. First, subject (slave
trade in Africa) one of which he knows something. Second, he made no
effort to orate. Hooked his arm, so to speak, with that of Chairman
of Committees; walked him up and down, talking in colloquial fashion.
Has good voice, which doesn't need uplifting; in the higher notes one
catches the faint echo of a foreign tongue.
Sharing pleasure of Committee at his speech, he volunteered a second.
Dangerous experiment this. But particular incentive gave it a turn of
fresh attraction. PARKER SMITH, criticising first speech, and
differing from its conclusions, accused STANLEY of trading on
his reputation. Ever seen a boy in the playing-ground go up to another,
clench his fists, hoist his right shoulder, and ask him to "say that
again"? Thus STANLEY to PARKER SMITH, sitting on same
bench near him. Of course he put thing in Parliamentary fashion.
"I don't recollect," he drawled, "saying anything to inspire my hon.
friend to make such a charge, and"--here he bent over P. S., fixing
him with glittering eye--"I beg he won't make any such remarks in the
future."
Before fervered fancy of Member for Partick there lashed a vision of
two new books from pen of the great explorer. The first volume was
entitled _How I Found Parker Smith_. The second bore the legend _How
I Left Him_. Only one thing to do. Apologise. This P. S. did with
alacrity.
[Illustration: Stanley Falls--on his feet!