(_Adapted from "Through the Looking-glass" to the Political Situation_)
_Humpty-Dumpty_ Diplomacy.
_Alice_ Public Opinion.
["The SULTAN, it seems, has not yet taken to heart the solemn
warning addressed to him by Lord SALISBURY, and approved by
the leaders of the Opposition.... The SULTAN alone turns
a deaf ear to the friendly counsel which it is so _greatly to his
interest to accept_."--_The Times._]
"The piece I am going to repeat," said HUMPTY-DUMPTY to
ALICE, "was written entirely for your amusement. It goes
thus"--
I sent a letter to the Turk,
Bidding him stay his horrid work.
The Turk delayed two months or three,
Then sent an answer back to me.
The Turk's belated answer was,
"I cannot do it, Sir, _because_----"
I sent to him again to say,
"It is your interest to obey."
He answered, with a sleepy grin,
"Why, what a hurry you are in!"
I urged him twice, I urged him thrice.
He would not listen to advice.
I took a rod, 'twas large and new,
Fit for the work I had to do.
Namely, that lazy Turk to tickle;
And then I put that rod in pickle.
The Turk he wrote to me and said,
"My agents are asleep in bed."
I wrote to him, I wrote it plain,
"Then you must wake them up again!"
I wrote it very large and clear;
I had it shouted in his ear.
But he was very stiff and proud;
He said, "You needn't shout so loud!"
And he was very proud and stiff;
He said, "I'll try and wake them, _if_----"
I put his "answer" on the shelf:
I said, "I'll wake them up myself!"
He cried, "No good! The door is locked,
I've pulled, and pushed, and kicked, and knocked.
And when I found the door was shut
I tried to turn the handle, _but_----"
There was a long pause.
"Is that all?" ALICE timidly asked.
"That's all,--_for the present_," said HUMPTY-DUMPTY.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "A TIMPORARY OBSTHRUCTION."
TRUCULENT TIM, THE AMBIGUOUS PATRIOT. "GIT OUT O' THE ROAD, IS
IT? BE AISY NOW--WILL ME CONSCHIENCE LET ME?"
["There was a suggestion on the part of the Government that everyone
was anxious to get away from the House. Some people certainly were
not.... He had no anxiety to get away, but was most anxious to turn the
House to account in the interest of his constituents and the country
generally, though they all meant different things when they used that
expression."--_Mr. T. M. Healy (Louth, N.) in the House of Commons._]]
* * * * *