[Illustration]
The middle-aged neighbour is going to the fine shop of the persistent
hairdresser. Why is the middle-aged neighbour going to the fine shop
of the persistent hairdresser? Because the middle-aged neighbour's
wife (_i.e._ the wife of the middle-aged neighbour) has ordered him
to have his hair cut. What will the persistent hairdresser tell the
middle-aged neighbour while he is having his hair cut? That the hair
of the middle-aged neighbour (_i.e._ the middle-aged neighbour's
hair) is all coming off. What will the middle-aged neighbour say?
The middle-aged neighbour will say nothing, but he will attempt to
read the gigantic journal of the prosperous newspaper proprietor.
Will the persistent hairdresser make any further remark? Yes, the
persistent hairdresser will inform the middle-aged neighbour that his
hair is thin on the top of his head, that the remaining hair is very
dry, that it would be well if the middle-aged neighbour would give
immediate attention to the subject (_i.e._ the subject attention give
immediate). What will the middle-aged neighbour say? The middle-aged
neighbour will say nothing, but will continue the attempted reading
of the gigantic journal of the prosperous newspaper proprietor. Will
the persistent hairdresser persevere in his exertions to attract
the attention of the middle-aged neighbour? He will persevere by
brushing the hair of the middle-aged neighbour by machinery. Will
the brushing of the hair of the middle-aged neighbour by machinery
prevent the further reading of the gigantic journal of the prosperous
newspaper proprietor? It will have that effect, and the middle-aged
neighbour will remonstrate. Will the persistent hairdresser repeat his
observations about the thinness of the hair on the top of the head
of the middle-aged neighbour? He will, and the observations will be
received in silence. Will the persistent hairdresser then recommend
"the Blisterscalpholine" as a remedy? The persistent hairdresser will
recommend "the Blisterscalpholine" as a remedy, saying that it may be
obtained in bottles at half-a-crown and four-and-six. Will he urge the
purchase of "the Blisterscalpholine" in bottles at four-and-six, in
preference to bottles at half-a-crown? He will, saying that the former
contain four times as much "Blisterscalpholine" than the latter (_i.e._
four-and-six four times "Blisterscalpholine" half-a-crown bottles
contain as much). Will the middle-aged neighbour say that he wishes
to be bald? The middle-aged neighbour will say so with superfluous
emphasis (_i.e._, in phrases of superabundance). Will the persistent
hairdresser declare that "the Blisterscalpholine" can be advantageously
used as a hair-wash by those desirous of becoming bald? The persistent
hairdresser will make this declaration. Why will the persistent
hairdresser sound the praises of "the Blisterscalpholine" so loudly?
Because the persistent hairdresser is the sole manufacturer of "the
Blisterscalpholine." Will the middle-aged neighbour purchase a bottle
of the persistent hairdresser? Yes; the middle-aged neighbour will
purchase a bottle, if the middle-aged neighbour has an account with the
persistent hairdresser, and he (_i.e._ the persistent hairdresser) will
put it (_i.e._ the bottle of "Blisterscalpholine") in his (_i.e._ the
middle-aged neighbour's) bill. If the middle-aged neighbour uses "the
Blisterscalpholine," what will he do in six months? The middle-aged
neighbour will purchase a wig.
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[Illustration: EN ROUTE FOR THE HORSE GUARDS.
["In assisting to carry out the plans of War Office reform sketched
by the Hartington Commission, Lord WOLSELEY will have an
unequalled opportunity of connecting his name with a monumental
achievement, and, at the same time, of establishing upon a firmer
foundation the efficiency and the welfare of the British Army,
which, we are well assured, are the objects he has most sincerely at
heart."--_Daily Paper._]]
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