CHAPTER XXIII

The fact that Allston had gone last night and had not yet returned

was as convincing proof to Wilmer of some mishap to him as a direct

message would have been. Had he accomplished his purpose, he would have

been back within three hours--four at the most. Such undertakings are

decided quickly. When two strong men meet in mountain country over such

an issue, the argument is not long-drawn-out. And the end is apt to be

definite.

So for a moment the girl stared at the empty bed as one stares

helplessly at the jerky telegrams on yellow paper that are brutally

thrust into one’s life. Direct blows between the eyes these, which

stun. And however grimly concrete the news, it is difficult to

understand because it comes through such a thin medium. All is

well--then a bit of yellow paper--and all is over.

Wilmer did not have even as much as a written report; just an opened

door and silence. But if the message had been written in burning

letters of fire or shouted at her through a megaphone, it could have

told her no more. He had gone to meet Bud Childers and he had not come

back.

Dazed as the girl was, she held herself well. Facing the little things

about his room, she stood straight as though facing something of him.

His courage called for her courage. Whatever had happened to him, she

knew he had accepted like a man, so that whatever had happened, she

must accept like a woman. If some of the color vanished from her cheeks

that was not her fault. She could not control this. But she could

control her trembling lips and did. Turning from the room, she found

her way back downstairs and to the sitting-room. There she saw again

his chair--the chair in which he had sat last evening. For a second she

tottered. All the little things of him seemed so doubly important now.

Every suggestion of him was so vital. It might be--it might be that

this was all she had left; traces at a moment when she hungered for a

hundred times more than she had ever had when within arm’s length of

him.

She pronounced his name below her breath. Just this--

“Ned.”

Then louder as though the name itself could bring him nearer.

“Ned,” she called. “Ned.”

She received no answer. The man who had been here yesterday--who would

have responded to her lightest whisper--did not count. And if he could

have answered as of yesterday, that would not have counted. It was

to-day--now--that she wanted him. It was this minute--this second. She

wanted him to come to her and place his arms about her and hold her

tight; she wanted the feel of his lips and the sound of his voice. She

wanted him in the flesh with all his tousled light hair. She was empty

without him--as empty as a mother with an unweighted arm.

Tears started to her hot eyes, and, burying her face in her hands, she

knelt before the wicker chair as before a sacred shrine.

“God, give him back to me,” she pleaded. “I want him. I want him so.”

If all the prayers of women were answered, perhaps there would be no

need of other prayers. How many go trembling up through the day and

through the night!

Wilmer rose again to her feet--steadied and strengthened. It may be

that this is the most direct and best answer God can give--strength to

endure, strength to act. She moved towards the kitchen--towards the

door she had found opened. It was as though this were the beginning of

the trail leading to his side. She had no pre-conceived plan, but her

feet took her here. This was the path Roxie had taken; the path Ned

Allston had taken. It was the path she must take.

Her heart leaped in response to the suggestion. She must follow him. If

he could not come to her, she must go to him. In essence the idea was

foreign to her nature. She was neither bold nor venturesome. Ordinarily

she would have turned to her father, but now this never occurred to

her. He played no part in this early morning drama. He slept and he

must sleep on. This did not concern him. It concerned her alone--that

inner woman who in a sense had never had a father.

The drawer of the kitchen table was open--pulled far out. Her eyes

caught the gray sheen of steel. She had never seen these articles

except as so many cooking-utensils. But they were more than that; they

were weapons. They were knives. And knives were for both defense

and offense. She crossed the room and picked out one--a thin-bladed,

pointed knife worn down by much use. She thrust this into her bosom and

returned to the door. She unlocked it, swung it open, and went out into

the dew-wet grass.

The cool of the unwarmed dawn air which met her hot skin and bathed her

eyes and refreshed her dry throat as she drank it deep into her lungs,

braced her like wine. Down the serpentine drive she went walking with

long, steady strides, unhurried in spite of her excited heart and with

chin well up. She wore no hat; no coat. She needed none. Her brown

hair, which had not been as carefully arranged as usual this morning,

soon fell loose until it hung all about her flushed cheeks gypsy-wise.

Had any one glimpsed her, he would surely have thought it Roxie who was

abroad at such an hour. For though taller she was walking with that

rhythmic swing, all from the hips down, which only those acquire who

have lived long in mountain country and walked much. And her feet were

sure on the rocky ground.

The sky grew pink in the east, but she saw it not. Birds began to stir

and sing among the wet leaves, but she heard them not. Squirrels began

to chatter--squirrels she loved to stop and tease--but she gave no heed

to them. As far as she was concerned this colorful, vibrant world about

her was as desolate as the moon surface. Her thoughts were all of the

man towards whom she was speeding.

She knew this road well. It was the same she had taken with him after

that adventure in the sunlit cove which lay so near the mountain path

leading to Bud’s shack. She had laughed at her father’s fears when the

latter warned them to avoid that neighborhood. How trivial that whole

incident now seemed to her, and yet it had played its part. It was

playing its part now. It was leading her with sure feet to his side.

But what was she going to find after she reached his side? It was a

question she fought off. And yet, batlike, the question returned to

circle again and again around her thoughts.

Leaving the sandy road that skirted the lower end of the valley, her

course took her upwards on a trail rough as a stream-bed. It ran like

a tunnel through the dark of crowding trees. Laurel and rhododendron

and sourwood in a snarling tangle beneath beech and oak pressed close,

as though bent upon obliterating this rough gash hacked through their

fastness. Overhead the dark branches came together and shut out the

sun. It was damp and shaded here and the pungent smell of the earth met

her as though she were burrowing. She hurried a little up the steep

path with an uncanny feeling that if she delayed too long she might be

enveloped. The growing things might seize her, might twine their snaky

limbs about her and force her down into this same earth from which they

sprang. And the earth was cold and damp. She wanted none of it. She

began to feel stifled, and broke into a panic-stricken run that took

the breath out of her. Halfway up she had to stop. But she refused to

sit down. She did not dare sit down. She stood in the center of the

road, her head upturned, her eyes trying to pierce the green canopy

above. With her hands hanging limply by her side, she breathed through

her mouth because her nostrils did not furnish enough air. Had any one

come upon her so, he would have thought her some wild thing fleeing

from the hunters.

Up she climbed and up where the dawn did not reach before high noon;

up and up and up. Until she saw the end of the tunnel. Then, breaking

into a run again, she never stopped until she plunged out upon the top

where man had fought the trees to the death and left a summit of upland

pasture open to the sky, and made rich farmland covered with blue grass

dotted with grazing cattle. She felt like a diver coming up from deep,

brackish water. She threw herself prone on her back for a moment, her

eyes fixed on the wide expanse of clean blue sky, shot with gold up

here. Below her lay the crescent-shaped valley--a picture so serenely

peaceful in contrast to what she had just come through that only the

psalmist could adequately express it. The lines though unspoken came to

her lips:

“He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside the

still waters. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me.”

All her life she had uttered these words without any appreciation save

of their rhythmic beauty. Now they were like a voice from the sky

itself. They quenched, like cold water, the fever in her veins. They

lent a significance to that beautiful valley below which she was never

to forget. They made of it, for all time, a resting-place.

But she could not pause here. She kept the road along the ridge-top

until she passed the Lutheran church, and then turned down the

mountain-side again--into the dark forest again. The valley was behind

her now; but it was there. When she faltered she closed her eyes and

recalled it--the golden warmth of it and the serene promise of it.

It helped her mightily over that last mile; helped her as she dipped

down towards Big Laurel Cove--towards the dragon country. It was so

she felt--like the lost maidens of the fairy books in the creepy land

of devouring monsters. She was terrified, but under some spell she

staggered on. The strain of the four miles was beginning to tell on her

legs. And the tension was beginning to tell on her thoughts. She became

more and more a prey to the vagaries of her excited imagination. A

squirrel leaping from one bending oak branch to another made her start

and clutch at her knife--the knife which all the way had lain like a

bony hand against her white bosom.

Then the clearing before Bud’s shack and the log crossing the stream,

and beyond it--the crumpled form of Allston. She saw it from the

roadway and took the last hundred yards in a series of bounding leaps

like some frantic wild animal.

Big Laurel · 第 23 / 27 章