UP AT THE PRIVETS.
The whole of the next day was passed in wretchedness by the party at
the vicarage. The Vicar, as he greeted Miss Lowther in the morning,
had not meant to be severe, having been specially cautioned against
severity by his wife; but he had been unable not to be silent and
stern. Not a word was spoken about Mr. Gilmore till after breakfast,
and then it was no more than a word.
"I would think better of this, Mary," said the Vicar.
"I cannot think better of it," she replied.
He refused, however, to go to Mr. Gilmore that day, demanding that
she should have another day in which to revolve the matter in her
mind. It was understood, however, that if she persisted he would
break the matter to her lover. Then this trouble was aggravated by
the coming of Mr. Gilmore to the vicarage, though it may be that the
visit was of use by preparing him in some degree for the blow. When
he came Mary was not to be seen. Fancying that he might call, she
remained up-stairs all day, and Mrs. Fenwick was obliged to say that
she was unwell. "Is she really ill?" the poor man had asked. Mrs.
Fenwick, driven hard by the difficulty of her position, had said
that she did not believe Mary to be very ill, but that she was so
discomposed by news from Dunripple that she could not come down. "I
should have thought that I might have seen her," said Mr. Gilmore,
with that black frown upon his brow which now they all knew so well.
Mrs. Fenwick made no reply, and then the unhappy man went away. He
wanted no further informant to tell him that the woman to whom he was
pledged regarded her engagement to him with aversion.
"I must see her again before I go," Fenwick said to his wife the next
morning. And he did see her. But Mary was absolutely firm. When he
remarked that she was pale and worn and ill, she acknowledged that
she had not closed her eyes during those two nights.
"And it must be so?" he asked, holding her hand tenderly.
"I am so grieved that you should have such a mission," she replied.
Then he explained to her that he was not thinking of himself, sad as
the occasion would be to him. But if this great sorrow could have
been spared to his friend! It could not, however, be spared. Mary was
quite firm, at any rate as to that. No consideration should induce
her now to marry Mr. Gilmore. Mr. Fenwick, on her behalf, might
express his regret for the grief she had caused in any terms that
he might think fit to use,--might humiliate her to the ground if he
thought it proper. And yet, had not Mr. Gilmore sinned more against
her than had she against him? Had not the manner in which he had
grasped at her hand been unmanly and unworthy? But of this, though
she thought much of it, she said nothing now to Mr. Fenwick. This
commission to the Vicar was that he should make her free; and in
doing this he might use what language, and make what confessions he
pleased. He must, however, make her free.
After breakfast he started upon his errand with a very heavy heart.
He loved his friend dearly. Between these two there had grown up now
during a period of many years, that undemonstrative, unexpressed,
almost unconscious affection which, with men, will often make the
greatest charm of their lives, but which is held by women to be quite
unsatisfactory and almost nugatory. It may be doubted whether either
of them had ever told the other of his regard. "Yours always," in
writing, was the warmest term that was ever used. Neither ever
dreamed of suggesting that the absence of the other would be a cause
of grief or even of discomfort. They would bicker with each other,
and not unfrequently abuse each other. Chance threw them much
together, but they never did anything to assist chance. Women, who
love each other as well, will always be expressing their love, always
making plans to be together, always doing little things each for the
gratification of the other, constantly making presents backwards and
forwards. These two men had never given any thing, one to the other,
beyond a worn-out walking-stick, or a cigar. They were rough to each
other, caustic, and almost ill-mannered. But they thoroughly trusted
each other; and the happiness, prosperity, and, above all, the honour
of the one were, to the other, matters of keenest moment. The bigger
man of the two, the one who felt rather than knew himself to be the
bigger, had to say that which would go nigh to break his friend's
heart, and the task which he had in hand made him sick at his own
heart. He walked slowly across the fields, turning over in his own
mind the words he would use. His misery for his friend was infinitely
greater than any that he had suffered on his own account, either in
regard to Mr. Puddleham's chapel or the calumny of the Marquis.
He found Gilmore sauntering about the stable yard. "Old fellow," he
said, "come along, I have got something to say to you."
"It is about Mary, I suppose?"
"Well, yes; it is about Mary. You mustn't be a woman, Harry, or let a
woman make you seriously wretched."
"I know it all. That will do. You need not say anything more." Then
he put his hands into the pockets of his shooting coat, and walked
off as though all had been said that was necessary. Fenwick had told
his message and might now go away. As for himself, in the sharpness
of his agony he had as yet made no scheme for a future purpose. Only
this he had determined. He would see that false woman once again, and
tell her what he thought of her conduct.
But Fenwick knew that his task was not yet done. Gilmore might walk
off, but he was bound to follow the unhappy man.
"Harry," he said, "you had better let me come with you for awhile.
You had better hear what I have to say."
"I want to hear nothing more. What good can it be? Like a fool, I
had set my fortune on one cast of the die, and I have lost it. Why
she should have added on the misery and disgrace of the last few
weeks to the rest, I cannot imagine. I suppose it has been her way of
punishing me for my persistency."
"It has not been that, Harry."
"God knows what it has been. I do not understand it." He had turned
from the stables towards the house, and had now come to a part of
the grounds in which workmen were converting a little paddock in
front of the house into a garden. The gardener was there with four or
five labourers, and planks, and barrows, and mattocks, and heaps of
undistributed earth and gravel were spread about. "Give over with
this," he said to the gardener, angrily. The man touched his hat, and
stood amazed. "Leave it, I say, and send these men away. Pay them for
the work, and let them go."
"You don't mean as we are to leave it all like this, sir?"
"I do mean that you are to leave it just as it is." There was a man
standing with a shovel in his hand levelling some loose earth, and
the Squire, going up to him, took the shovel from him and threw it
upon the ground. "When I say a thing, I mean it. Ambrose, take these
men away. I will not have another stroke of work done here." The
Vicar came up to him and whispered into his ear a prayer that he
would not expose himself before the men; but the Squire cared nothing
for his friend's whisper. He shook off the Vicar's hand from his arm
and stalked away into the house.
Two rooms, the two drawing-rooms as they were called, on the ground
floor had been stripped of the old paper, and were now in that state
of apparent ruin which always comes upon such rooms when workmen
enter them with their tools. There were tressels with a board across
them, on which a man was standing at this moment, whose business it
was to decorate the ceiling.
"That will do," said the Squire. "You may get down, and leave the
place." The man stood still on his board with his eyes open and his
brush in his hand. "I have changed my mind, and you may come down,"
said Mr. Gilmore. "Tell Mr. Cross to send me his bill for what he has
done, and it shall be paid. Come down, when I tell you. I will have
nothing further touched in the house." He went from room to room and
gave the same orders, and, after a while, succeeded in turning the
paper-hangers and painters out of the house. Fenwick had followed
him from room to room, making every now and then an attempt at
remonstrance; but the Squire had paid no attention either to his
words or to his presence.
At last they were alone together in Gilmore's own study or office,
and then the Vicar spoke. "Harry," he said, "I am, indeed, surprised
that such a one as you should not have more manhood at his command."
"Were you ever tried as I am?"
"What matters that? You are responsible for your own conduct, and I
tell you that your conduct is unmanly."
"Why should I have the rooms done up? I shall never live here.
What is it to me how they are left? The sooner I stop a useless
expenditure the better. It was being done for her, not for me."
"Of course you will live here."
"You know nothing about it. You cannot know anything about it. Why
has she treated me in this way? To send up to a man and simply tell
him that she has changed her mind! God in heaven!--that you should
bring me such a message!"
"You have not allowed me to give my message yet."
"Give it me, then, and have done with it. Has she not sent you to
tell me that she has changed her mind?"
Now that opportunity was given to him, the Vicar did not know how
to tell his message. "Perhaps it would have been better that Janet
should have come to you."
"It don't make much difference who comes. She'll never come again. I
don't suppose, Frank, you can understand the sort of love I have had
for her. You have never been driven by failure to such longing as
mine has been. And then I thought it had come at last!"
"Will you be patient while I speak to you, Harry?" said the Vicar,
again taking him by the arm. They had now left the house, and were
out alone among the shrubs.
"Patient! yes; I think I am patient. Nothing further can hurt me
now;--that's one comfort."
"Mary bids me remind you,"--Gilmore shuddered and shook himself when
Mary Lowther's name was mentioned, but he did not attempt to stop the
Vicar,--"she bids me remind you that when the other day she consented
to be your wife, she did so--." He tried to tell it all, but he could
not. How could he tell the man the story which Mary had told to him?
"I understand," said Gilmore. "It's all of no use, and you are
troubling yourself for nothing. She told me that she did not care a
straw for me;--but she accepted me."
"If that was the case, you were both wrong."
"It was the case. I don't say who was wrong, but the punishment has
come upon me only. Look here, Frank; I will not take this message
from you. I will not even give her up yet. I have a right, at least,
to see her, and see her I will. I don't suppose you will try to
prevent me?"
"She must do as she pleases, Harry, as long as she is in my house."
"She shall see me. She is self-willed enough, but she shall not
refuse me that. Be so good as to tell her with my compliments, that I
expect her to see me. A man is not going to be treated like this, and
then not speak his own mind. Be good enough to tell her that from me.
I demand an interview." So saying he turned upon his heel, and walked
quickly away through the shrubbery.
The Vicar stood for awhile to think, and then slowly returned to the
vicarage by himself. What Gilmore had said to him was true enough. He
had, indeed, never been tried after that fashion. It did seem to him
that his friend was in fact broken-hearted. Harry Gilmore might live
on,--as is the way with men and women who are broken-hearted;--but
life for the present, life for some years to come, could be to him
only a burden.