MISS LOWTHER ASKS FOR ADVICE.
All these searchings for the murderers of Mr. Trumbull, and these
remandings of Sam Brattle, took place in the month of September,
and during that same month the energy of other men of law was very
keenly at work on a widely different subject. Could Messrs. Block and
Curling assure Captain Marrable that a portion of his inheritance
would be saved for him, or had that graceless father of his in very
truth seized upon it all? There was no shadow of doubt but that if
aught was spared, it had not been spared through any delicacy on the
part of the Colonel. The Colonel had gone to work, paying creditors
who were clamorous against him, the moment he had got his hand
upon the money, and had gone to work also gambling, and had made
assignments of money, and done his very best to spend the whole. But
there was a question whether a certain sum of £5000, which seemed
to have got into the hands of a certain lady who protested that she
wanted it very badly, might not be saved. Messrs. Block and Curling
thought that it might, but were by no means certain. It probably
might be done, if the Captain would consent to bring the matter
before a jury; in which case the whole story of the father's iniquity
must, of course, be proved. Or it might be that by threatening to
do this, the lady's friends would relax their grasp on receiving a
certain present out of the money.
"We would offer them £50, and perhaps they would take £500," said
Messrs. Block and Curling.
All this irritated the Captain. He was intensely averse to any law
proceedings by which the story should be made public.
"I won't pretend that it is on my father's account," said he to
his uncle. Parson John shrugged his shoulders, and shook his head,
meaning to imply that it certainly was a bad case, but that as
Colonel Marrable was a Marrable, he ought to be spared, if possible.
"It is on my own account," continued the Captain, "and partly,
perhaps, on that of the family. I would endure anything rather than
have the filth of the transaction flooded through the newspapers. I
should never be able to join my mess again if I did that."
"Then you'd better let Block and Curling compromise and get what they
can," said Parson John, with an indifferent and provoking tone, which
clearly indicated that he would regard the matter when so settled as
one arranged amicably and pleasantly between all the parties. His
uncle's calmness and absence of horror at the thing that had been
done was very grievous to Captain Marrable.
"Poor Wat!" the parson had once said, speaking of his wicked brother;
"he never could keep two shillings together. It's ever so long since
I had to determine that nothing on earth should induce me to let him
have half-a-crown. I must say that he did not take it amiss when I
told him."
"Why should he have wanted half-a-crown from you?"
"He was always one of those thirsty sandbags that swallow small drops
and large alike. He got £10,000 out of poor Gregory about the time
that you were born, and Gregory is fretting about it yet."
"What kills me is the disgrace of it," said the young man.
"It would be disagreeable to have it in the newspapers," said Parson
John. "And then he was such a pleasant fellow, and so handsome. I
always enjoyed his society when once I had buttoned up my breeches'
pocket."
Yet this man was a clergyman, preaching honesty and moral conduct,
and living fairly well up to his preaching, too, as far as he himself
was concerned! The Captain almost thought that the earth and skies
should be brought together, and the clouds clap with thunder, and
the mountains be riven in twain at the very mention of his father's
wickedness. But then sins committed against oneself are so much more
sinful than any other sins.
The Captain had much more sympathetic listeners in Uphill Lane; not
that either of the ladies there spoke severely against his father,
but that they entered more cordially into his own distresses. If he
could save even £4500 out of the wreck, the interest on the money
would enable him to live at home in his regiment. If he could get
£4000 he would do it.
"With £150 per annum," he said, "I could just hold my head up and get
along. I should have to give up all manner of things; but I would
never cry about that."
Then, again, he would declare that the one thing necessary for his
happiness was, that he should get the whole business of the money off
his mind. "If I could have it settled, and have done with it," said
he, "I should be at ease."
"Quite right, my dear," said the old lady. "My idea about money is
this, that whether you have much or little, you should make your
arrangements so that it be no matter of thought to you. Your money
should be just like counters at a round game with children, and
should mean nothing. It comes to that when you once get things on a
proper footing."
They thus became very intimate, the two ladies in Uphill Lane and the
Captain from his uncle's parsonage in the Lowtown; and the intimacy
on his part was quite as strong with the younger as with the elder
relative,--quite as strong, and no doubt more pleasant. They walked
together constantly, as cousins may walk, and they discussed every
turn that took place in the correspondence with Messrs. Block and
Curling. Captain Marrable had come to his uncle's house for a week or
ten days, but had been pressed to remain on till this business should
be concluded. His leave of absence lasted till the end of November,
and might be prolonged if he intended to return to India. "Stay here
till the end of November," said Parson John. "What's the use of
spending your money at a London hotel? Only don't fall in love with
cousin Mary." So the Captain did stay, obeying one half of his
uncle's advice, and promising obedience to the other half.
Aunt Sarah also had her fears about the falling in love, and spoke a
prudent word to Mary. "Mary, dear," she said, "you and Walter are as
loving as turtle doves."
"I do like him so much," said Mary, boldly.
"So do I, my dear. He is a gentleman, and clever, and, upon the
whole, he bears a great injury well. I like him. But I don't think
people ought to fall in love when there is a strong reason against
it."
"Certainly not, if they can help it."
"Pshaw! That's missish nonsense, Mary, and you know it. If a girl
were to tell me she fell in love because she couldn't help it, I
should tell her that she wasn't worth any man's love."
"But what's your reason, Aunt Sarah?"
"Because it wouldn't suit Mr. Gilmore."
"I am not bound to suit Mr. Gilmore."
"I don't know about that. And then, too, it would not suit Walter
himself. How could he marry a wife when he has just been robbed of
all his fortune?"
"But I have not the slightest idea of falling in love with him. In
spite of what I said, I do hope that I can help it. And then I feel
to him just as though he were my brother. I've got almost to know
what it would be to have a brother."
In this Miss Lowther was probably wrong. She had now known her
cousin for just a month. A month is quite long enough to realise the
pleasure of a new lover, but it may be doubted whether the intimacy
of a brother does not take a very much longer period for its
creation.
"I think if I were you," said Miss Marrable, after a pause, "that I
would tell him about Mr. Gilmore."
"Would you, Aunt Sarah?"
"I think I would. If he were really your brother you would tell him."
It was probably the case, that when Miss Marrable gave this
advice, her opinion of Mr. Gilmore's success was greater than the
circumstances warranted. Though there had been much said between the
aunt and her niece about Mr. Gilmore and his offers, Mary had never
been able quite to explain her own thoughts and feelings. She herself
did not believe that she could be brought to accept him, and was
now stronger in that opinion than ever. But were she to say so in
language that would convince her aunt, her aunt would no doubt ask
her, why then had she left the man in doubt? Though she knew that
at every moment in which she had been called upon to act, she had
struggled to do right, yet there hung over her a half-conviction that
she had been weak, and almost selfish. Her dearest friends wrote to
her and spoke to her as though she would certainly take Mr. Gilmore
at last. Janet Fenwick wrote of it in her letters as of a thing
almost fixed; and Aunt Sarah certainly lived as though she expected
it. And yet Mary was very nearly sure that it could not be so. Would
it not be better that she should write to Mr. Gilmore at once,
and not wait till the expiration of the weary six months which he
had specified as the time at the end of which he might renew his
proposals? Had Aunt Sarah known all this,--had she been aware how
very near Mary was to the writing of such a letter,--she would
not probably have suggested that her niece should tell her cousin
anything about Mr. Gilmore. She did think that the telling of the
tale would make Cousin Walter understand that he should not allow
himself to become an interloper; but the tale, if told as Mary would
tell it, might have a very different effect.
Nevertheless Mary thought that she would tell it. It would be so nice
to consult a brother! It would be so pleasant to discuss the matter
with some one that would sympathise with her,--with some one who
would not wish to drive her into Mr. Gilmore's arms simply because
Mr. Gilmore was an excellent gentleman, with a snug property! Even
from Janet Fenwick, whom she loved dearly, she had never succeeded
in getting the sort of sympathy that she wanted. Janet was the best
friend in the world,--was actuated in this matter simply by a desire
to do a good turn to two people whom she loved. But there was no
sympathy between her and Mary in the matter.
"Marry him," said Janet, "and you will adore him afterwards."
"I want to adore him first," said Mary.
So she resolved that she would tell Walter Marrable what was her
position. They were again down on the banks of the Lurwell, sitting
together on a slope which had been made to support some hundred yards
of a canal, where the river itself rippled down a slightly rapid
fall. They were seated between the canal and the river, with their
feet towards the latter, and Walter Marrable was just lighting a
cigar. It was very easy to bring the conversation round to the
affairs of Bullhampton, as Sam was still in prison, and Janet's
letters were full of the mystery which shrouded the murder of Mr.
Trumbull.
"By the bye," said she, "I have something to tell you about Mr.
Gilmore."
"Tell away," said he, as he turned the cigar round in his mouth, to
complete the lighting of the edges in the wind.
"Ah, but I shan't, unless you will interest yourself. What I am going
to tell you ought to interest you."
"He has made you a proposal of marriage?"
"Yes."
"I knew it."
"How could you know it? Nobody has told you."
"I felt sure of it from the way in which you speak of him. But I
thought also that you had refused him. Perhaps I was wrong there?"
"No."
"You have refused him?"
"Yes."
"I don't see that there is very much of a story to be told, Mary."
"Don't be so unkind, Walter. There is a story, and one that troubles
me. If it were not so I should not have proposed to tell you. I
thought that you would give me advice, and tell me what I ought to
do."
"But if you have refused him, you have done so,--no doubt
rightly,--without my advice; and I am too late in the field to be of
any service."
"You must let me tell my own story, and you must be good to me while
I do so. I think I shouldn't tell you if I hadn't almost made up my
mind; but I shan't tell you which way, and you must advise me. In the
first place, though I did refuse him, the matter is still open, and
he is to ask me again, if he pleases."
"He has your permission for that?"
"Well,--yes. I hope it wasn't wrong. I did so try to be right."
"I do not say you were wrong."
"I like him so much, and think him so good, and do really feel that
his affection is so great an honour to me, that I could not answer
him as though I were quite indifferent to him."
"At any rate, he is to come again?"
"If he pleases."
"Does he really love you?"
"How am I to say? But that is missish and untrue. I am sure he loves
me."
"So that he will grieve to lose you?"
"I know he will grieve. I ought not to say so. But I know he will."
"You ought to tell the truth, as you believe it. And you
yourself,--do you love him?"
"I don't know. I do love him; but if I heard he was going to marry
another girl to-morrow it would make me very happy."
"Then you can't love him?"
"I feel as though I should think the same of any man who wanted to
marry me. But let me go on with my story. Everybody I care for wishes
me to take him. I know that Aunt Sarah feels quite sure that I shall
at last, and that she thinks I ought to do so at once. My friend,
Janet Fenwick, cannot understand why I should hesitate, and only
forgives me because she is sure that it will come right, in her way,
some day. Mr. Fenwick is just the same, and will always talk to me as
though it were my fate to live at Bullhampton all my life."
"Is not Bullhampton a nice place?"
"Very nice; I love the place."
"And Mr. Gilmore is rich?"
"He is quite rich enough. Fancy my inquiring about that, with just
£1200 for my fortune."
"Then why, in God's name, don't you accept him?"
"You think I ought?"
"Answer my question;--why do you not?"
"Because--I do not love him--as I should hope to love my husband."
After this Captain Marrable, who had been looking her full in the
face while he had been asking these questions, turned somewhat
away from her, as though the conversation were over. She remained
motionless, and was minded so to remain till he should tell her that
it was time to move, that they might return home. He had given her
no advice; but she presumed she was to take what had passed as the
expression of his opinion that it was her duty to accept an offer so
favourable and so satisfactory to the family. At any rate, she would
say nothing more on the subject till he should address her. Though
she loved him dearly as her cousin, yet she was, in some slight
degree, afraid of him. And now she was not sure but that he was
expressing towards her, by his anger, some amount of displeasure
at her weakness and inconsistency. After a while he turned round
suddenly, and took her by the hand.
"Well, Mary!" he said.
"Well, Walter!"
"What do you mean to do, after all?"
"What ought I to do?"
"What ought you to do? You know what you ought to do. Would you marry
a man for whom you have no more regard than you have for this stick,
simply because he is persistent in asking you? No more than you have
for this stick, Mary. What sort of a feeling must it be, when you say
that you would willingly see him married to any other girl to-morrow?
Can that be love?"
"I have never loved any one better."
"And never will?"
"How can I say? It seems to me that I haven't got the feeling that
other girls have. I want some one to love me;--I do. I own that. I
want to be first with some one; but I have never found the one yet
that I cared for."
"You had better wait till you find him," said he, raising himself up
on his arm. "Come, let us get up and go home. You have asked me for
my advice, and I have given it you. Do not throw yourself away upon
a man because other people ask you, and because you think you might
as well oblige them and oblige him. If you do, you will soon live to
repent it. What would you do, if after marrying this man you found
there was some one you could love?"
"I do not think it would come to that, Walter."
"How can you tell? How can you prevent its coming to that, except
by loving the man you do marry? You don't care two straws for Mr.
Gilmore; and I cannot understand how you can have the courage to
think of becoming his wife. Let us go home. You have asked my advice,
and you've got it. If you do not take it, I will endeavour to forget
that I gave it you."
Of course she would take it. She did not tell him so then; but, of
course, he should guide her. With how much more accuracy, with how
much more delicacy of feeling had he understood her position, than
had her other friends! He had sympathised with her at a word. He
spoke to her sternly, severely, almost cruelly. But it was thus that
she had longed to be spoken to by some one who would care enough for
her, would take sufficient interest in her, to be at the trouble so
to advise her. She would trust him as a brother, and his words should
be sweet to her, were they ever so severe.
They walked together home in silence, and his very manner was stern
to her; but it might be just thus that a loving brother would carry
himself who had counselled his sister wisely, and had not as yet been
assured that his counsel would be taken.
"Walter," she said, as they neared the town, "I hope you have no
doubt about it."
"Doubt about what, Mary?"
"It is quite a matter of course that I shall do as you tell me."