Mr. PUNCHINELLO: It afflicts me, one of your most assiduous readers, to
notice that you cast not even so much as a lack-lustre glance at the
brilliant gems that STEPHEN PEARL ANDREWS scatters periodically through
the columns of the _Evening Mail_ and WOODHULL & CLAFLIN'S _Weekly_. Are
the times out of joint; or is it your Italian nose? Do you fear to quote
the sublimated utterances of the perspicacious, although pleonastic
philosopher? Does he lead you in thought, or the expression thereof?
Then, wherefore? And if not, wherever may the just reason be found for
your indifference?
The science of Universology, as so delightfully unfolded by Mr. ANDREWS,
is one that must ere long overtop and engulf all others, seeing that it
is, of itself, the science which embodies and contains all. It teaches
that the universe exists in time and space--a fact never discovered till
now--or that, rather, it exists in space and time, as the two negative
containers of its _statism_ or existence, and of its _motism_ or
eventuation, (its chain of events.) It shows that statism, or
world-existence-at-rest, in space, is analogous with the cardinal series
of numeration; and motism or world-existence-in-motion, in time,
analogous with the ordinal series of numbers; and that, finally, statism
and cardinism, (as of the four cardinal points in the orientation of
space,) are analogous with spiritualities and the spirit world; and that
motism and ordinism (succession by steps) are analogous with
temporalities, (transitory things) and so with the mundane or transitory
sphere.
Now this is the whole subject in a nutshell--a subject it behooves you
and all other deep thinkers to grapple withal. Through your efforts to
spread the glorious truths thus ingeniously set forth, how much good
might be done! Think of the unravelling of the complications surrounding
the Germano-Gallic war; the light that might be thrown upon the sources
of HORACE GREELEY'S agricultural information; the settlement of the
Coolie question. Then, see what effect a clear and candid discussion of
the topic would have on the public morality, security, and peace! How
often it appears that, in spite of the normal equanimity observable in
circumstantial evidence, hereditary disciplinarisms are totally devoid
of potential abstemiousness. This may be owing to the fact that at ebb
and neap tides the obliquity of vision (duism) remarked by most invalid
veterans in their occasional _adversaria_, is unconscious of their
parental dignity, and by no means to be confounded with the referees in
astronomical or pharmaceutical cases, or with ordinary omphalopsychites.
Whatever be or not be the result of these investigations and
calculations, it is consolatory to the student of proportional
hemispheres to remark that, whichever way the sophist may turn, he
_must_ invariably rely on the softer impeachments of a hireling crowd,
with
"Water, water, everywhere,
And not a drop to drink,"
and give up all personal interest in the homogeneous relations arising
from too precipitate a ratiocination of events, urging, at the same
time, the positive proportions exercised in the administration of a not
over particular dormitory, and the replication of
chameleonizing--constantly chameleonizing, odoriferosities.
Yours, PATHIST.
* * * * *
About Face!
Recent London advices briefly state that EDMUND ABOUT, the missing
correspondent of the _Soir_, has turned up somewhere. Our Cockney
informant imagines that M. ABOUT, like his distinguished ancestor,
(ABOU, B.A.,) found his "sweet dream of peace" too rudely disturbed by
the howlings of the Prussian dogs of war, and decided to 'ead About for
Paris, simply in order to avoid being 'eaded off by the enemy.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "WHEN YOU GO TO LONG BRANCH, DO NOT TAKE A NEWFOUNDLAND
DOG WITH YOU. I BROUGHT ONE DOWN WITH ME HERE, AND WHENEVER I GO OUT TO
TAKE A LITTLE DIP, THE FAITHFUL CREATURE WILL INSIST ON DRAGGING ME
ASHORE."--_Letter from a Friend_.]
* * * * *