21. The College of Athletic Arts

Dorothy and her friends arrived at the Royal Palace at an opportune

time, for Ozma was holding high court in her Throne Room, where

Professor H. M. Wogglebug, T.E., was appealing to her to punish some of

the students of the Royal Athletic College, of which he was the

Principal.

This College is located in the Munchkin Country, but not far from the

Emerald City. To enable the students to devote their entire time to

athletic exercises, such as boating, foot-ball, and the like, Professor

Wogglebug had invented an assortment of Tablets of Learning. One of

these tablets, eaten by a scholar after breakfast, would instantly

enable him to understand arithmetic or algebra or any other branch of

mathematics. Another tablet eaten after lunch gave a student a

complete knowledge of geography. Another tablet made it possible for

the eater to spell the most difficult words, and still another enabled

him to write a beautiful hand. There were tablets for history,

mechanics, home cooking and agriculture, and it mattered not whether a

boy or a girl was stupid or bright, for the tablets taught them

everything in the twinkling of an eye.

This method, which is patented in the Land of Oz by Professor

Wogglebug, saves paper and books, as well as the tedious hours devoted

to study in some of our less favored schools, and it also allows the

students to devote all their time to racing, base-ball, tennis and

other manly and womanly sports, which are greatly interfered with by

study in those Temples of Learning where Tablets of Learning are

unknown.

But it so happened that Professor Wogglebug (who had invented so much

that he had acquired the habit) carelessly invented a Square-Meal

Tablet, which was no bigger than your little finger-nail but contained,

in condensed form, the equal of a bowl of soup, a portion of fried

fish, a roast, a salad and a dessert, all of which gave the same

nourishment as a square meal.

The Professor was so proud of these Square-Meal Tablets that he began

to feed them to the students at his college, instead of other food, but

the boys and girls objected because they wanted food that they could

enjoy the taste of. It was no fun at all to swallow a tablet, with a

glass of water, and call it a dinner; so they refused to eat the

Square-Meal Tablets. Professor Wogglebug insisted, and the result was

that the Senior Class seized the learned Professor one day and threw

him into the river--clothes and all. Everyone knows that a wogglebug

cannot swim, and so the inventor of the wonderful Square-Meal Tablets

lay helpless on the bottom of the river for three days before a

fisherman caught one of his legs on a fishhook and dragged him out upon

the bank.

The learned Professor was naturally indignant at such treatment, and so

he brought the entire Senior Class to the Emerald City and appealed to

Ozma of Oz to punish them for their rebellion.

I do not suppose the girl Ruler was very severe with the rebellious

boys and girls, because she had herself refused to eat the Square-Meal

Tablets in place of food, but while she was listening to the

interesting case in her Throne Room, Cap'n Bill managed to carry the

golden flower-pot containing the Magic Flower up to Trot's room without

it being seen by anyone except Jellia Jamb, Ozma's chief Maid of Honor,

and Jellia promised not to tell.

Also the Wizard was able to carry the cage of monkeys up to one of the

top towers of the palace, where he had a room of his own, to which no

one came unless invited. So Trot and Dorothy and Cap'n Bill and the

Wizard were all delighted at the successful end of their adventure.

The Cowardly Lion and the Hungry Tiger went to the marble stables

behind the Royal Palace, where they lived while at home, and they too

kept the secret, even refusing to tell the Wooden Sawhorse, and Hank

the Mule, and the Yellow Hen, and the Pink Kitten where they had been.

Trot watered the Magic Flower every day and allowed no one in her room

to see the beautiful blossoms except her friends, Betsy Bobbin and

Dorothy. The wonderful plant did not seem to lose any of its magic by

being removed from its island, and Trot was sure that Ozma would prize

it as one of her most delightful treasures.

Up in his tower the little Wizard of Oz began training his twelve tiny

monkeys, and the little creatures were so intelligent that they learned

every trick the Wizard tried to teach them. The Wizard treated them

with great kindness and gentleness and gave them the food that monkeys

love best, so they promised to do their best on the great occasion of

Ozma's birthday.

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