I resolved to lose myself in the far East. I went to India; hunted in
the jungles, reckless of life and danger. I was successful in
overcoming the monsters of the wilds; and escaped dreadful fevers
because I seemed to bear a charmed life. It was worthless to me, and a
bad penny could not be lost.
In India I met with a cunning native, who changed my locks from light
to their present color, curly to straight; my complexion from florid
to its olive hue. He taught me how to put a scar on my cheek that
would deceive the eyes of a surgeon, but from which I could at any
time free myself in a single night, and renew at will. So perfectly
was my disguise, that my Indian servant, who had been with me for a
year, failed to recognize me. He never knew me again. With my skin I
changed my name. I was a stranger even when in my most frequented
haunts, and as you see, am still disguised. I visited Siam, Burmah,
China and Borneo. I wandered five years in the far East, and returned
to America by the Pacific and Panama, and thence to New Orleans.
In that city, I went to a Mardi-Gras ball. On entering the brilliant
assembly room, I was almost stunned by the sight of my wife, standing
close by my side. She looked at me without recognition. She was the
same cold, queenly woman. I was presented and talked to her of her
husband, whom I had met in the far East. She seemed considerably
interested in me, but did not evince the slightest emotion when I
spoke of her husband and told her I had heard of his death in India.
She said in chilling tones she felt sure it was a false rumor. Had she
shown any feeling, I think I would have tried to get her into my
heart.
I went to my old home, and pretending to be shooting and belated, went
to Jim Madison's cabin about sun-down and talked to him and Dinah.
Neither of them recognized me, but when her back was to me I spoke;
she started, for my voice reached her memory. They were both true to
Mars John, whom I told them I had known at college. Dinah shed bitter
tears, because she could never see him again, and Jim would be like
Simeon of old, if his eyes could rest upon him once more. They were to
be trusted.
I went to the cabin door and finding there was no one in the
neighborhood, I drew my hat over my face and said in my natural voice:
"Jim, Dinah, don't you know me?"
They sprang to me at once, with a cry, "Oh bress de Lord, it's
him,--it's him--it's Mars John" and for minutes I was pressed in their
arms, while they shed tears and gave thanks to the good God. The two
lowly hearts were true as steel to me, and would be willing to follow
me to the ends of the earth. Jim was a teamster and had to draw a load
of cotton to the nearest steam boat landing on the following day.
In my boyhood his aquatic qualities won my admiration and were the
wonder of the negroes for many miles around. To my inquiry as to his
ability in that line now, he proudly stated that "he was a duck a-top
the water, an' a musrat under it." I then told him to be on the
lookout, when on the wharf boat the next day; that I would be there;
would manage to tumble into the river; he was to rescue me, and out of
gratitude I would purchase him and Dinah, and take them north to
freedom.
We performed our comedy admirably. Water could scarcely drown me, for
from childhood, I had been a water-dog, and when Jim made his
wonderful dive, and brought me from the bottom, to which I had
conveniently sunken the third time, I acted the drowned man so well,
that the negroes around nearly killed me by rolling me on a barrel to
get the water out of my stomach. I managed to be properly
resuscitated, and in three days Jim and Dinah, paid for, were on their
way north. They had no children, and left no ties behind. Jim says,
"he is a bigger slave than ever, for I am always on his mind."
We reached Cincinnati last spring, and I feel certain my identity can
never be discovered. I have my two oldest earthly friends with me, and
now my newest, and almost only other one. I am trying to recover a
part of my fortune, for I had but little left when I reached this
city. I came here because, the only words I ever distinctly caught
from my brown shawled mate and her companions were, when the boy said,
"but Cincinnati, you know"--that was all. I am here making a little
money speculating in grain; using Jim's rheumatism to inform me as to
weather probabilities and if prices will go up or down--and keeping my
eyes always open for the only woman I have ever seen whom I can love.
And now fill up your chilbouque and let us have a glass of beer." He
rang a bell and told Jim to open a couple of bottles of ale.
I was deeply impressed by the story--more so, than I cared my friend
to see. To open up a light vein of conversation I asked:
"What was that you said about Jim's rheumatism?"
"I spoke in earnest;" answered Jack, "last summer and fall I used
Jim's ankles to tell me if the weather would be favorable for crops.
He believes implicitly in his rheumatic prognostications. To humor him
I follow his advice, and so far have never failed to make a good deal
by so doing."
I thanked Felden for his story, and went home pondering upon his
notions and pluck. It was strange to see a man who evidently so
enjoyed lavish luxury, living as he did, when a beautiful wife, a vast
fortune and high position were waiting for him, whenever he should
acknowledge his proud name.
Toward the end of the winter, a messenger brought me, from Mr. Felden
a request for the address of a first class physician, and telling me
Dinah was much indisposed. The next evening I dropped in at his house,
but he begged to be excused. The message brought to the door by Jim,
made me feel my visits were not desired for the time being. Ten days
elapsed without any news from him, when I met Dr. J. and inquired as
to the condition of his dusky patient.
"Oh! ho! Then I owe to you this new patient!"
I stated the circumstances.
"Well, Mr. Jamison, I thank you, for I have had a revelation at that
bedside, for which I would not take a thousand dollars."
I expressed gratification and some surprise.
"You know," the genial doctor continued, "you know that I am an old
time abolitionist, and one of the straightest kind."
I replied, I had often regretted the fact. Scarcely noticing my remark
he went on:
"I have received a revelation, Mr. Jamison, and one that God willing!
will make me a more charitable--a braver, perhaps a better man. Think
of it sir: I went to see this black woman, expecting to find her in
charge of some other ignorant woman of her color. But instead of that,
there was an elegant gentleman sitting at her bed side; his hand was
upon her hot forehead, and every now and then he whispered, "Don't be
afraid Mammy, little John is by you, and he will take care of you."
The poor creature was delirious. She thought herself on a southern
plantation, and that some one was trying to do her bodily harm.
"When I stepped forward, he motioned me to be still. I am generally an
autocrat in a sick room, but that man's look and gesture made me a
regular sucking babe."
I laughed at the thought.
"You needn't laugh, sir. I am telling God's truth. Well! when he had
quieted her, he took me into an adjoining room, and gave me his
diagnosis of the case. It was the opinion of a man of science,
absolutely correct. I left my prescription, promising to be on hand as
early as possible the next morning. Would you believe it, sir, I was
there before day-light? I wanted to see that man. I found him seated
as he had been the night before, and learned he had been there ever
since I left. She was still out of her head.
Something she said caused the gentleman to say, "She must be saved.
She and her husband are all that are left to me of a great plantation
and five hundred negroes."
"Instead of feeling disgust for the owner of five hundred human
beings, I felt they had lost a friend when they lost their master. For
a whole week, that man never took off his clothes, and as far as I
could see, never left that lowly bed side. I never saw such devotion.
It pulled her through; my drugs were a humbug, sir. That Christian
gentleman saved her life."
The doctor took off his hat and mopped his brow. It was wet from the
energy of his speech.
"It was a revelation to me, sir. Think of it! A man can own human
beings, and still be a Christian. If our Saviour has a true follower
on this earth, that born slave owner is of his chosen ones."
I told this to Felden a few days later. He smiled and said, "I thank
the good doctor. Don't tell him I am a worshipper of the one unknown,
and unknowable God. I reverence Jesus of Nazareth--I reverence
Sidartha, the Buddh--I reverence Zoroaster. They were the greatest of
men, whom long meditation sublimated and lifted above their kind. But
there is only one God. No one of woman born, ever could, or can
conceive his form.
The best and purest Christian I ever met was a Hindoo, not only in
race, but in religion. Yet, he was a Christian in the true sense of
the word. He lived and acted the life inculcated by Jesus. The next
best was a Parsee worshipper of the sun. He did unto his kind as he
would they should do unto him. He clothed the naked, fed the hungry
and healed the sick; yet he gave the body of his beautiful and
idolized daughter to be devoured by vultures on the Tower of Silence.
One of the genuine Christians I have met, was a Chinaman, who
worshipped Joss, and daily knelt at a shrine erected to him in the
back of his shop. He washed the wounds of a stranger, and nursed him
for weeks, though his house was shunned as the home of pestilence.
"Forgive them Father, they know not what they do," might be offered up
in behalf of fully one half of the good people of this Christian land.
They wrap themselves up in their egotism and their bigotry. They
follow the blind lead of narrow minded preachers and make the pulpit
their fetich. Bah! how I hate cant and hypocricy! Poor Dinah is as
black as the ace of spades, but under her dusky breast is as white a
soul as ever came from the breath of God; and I am supposed to be a
good man, simply because I did not leave her to die like a crippled
dog."
"No, Mr. Jamison, I am no better than I ought to be. Dinah nursed me
on her breast and fed me from her life's blood, when I was helpless. I
was only a man when I nursed her through this illness. I came to tell
you she is nearly well again, and Jim wishes you to eat a dinner of
his cooking to-morrow evening. Good day." And with that he showed me
his straight back and massive shoulders as he walked with swinging
strides from the store.
We commenced fishing in March and spent many a pleasant hour together,
on the water by day, and in his den at evening. Early in May, I went
as per agreement to dine with him. Jim handed me a note. It read,
"Dear Jamison, go in and make the most of the dinner. I am off for
how long, I know not. I met to-day, my fate of the brown shawl. I
follow wherever it may lead me, never to stop until my doom be
found.
Yours, in the height of folly,
JACK."
Jim informed me his master had come in a half hour before; after
hurriedly filling a valise and satchel, he had jumped into the
carriage, which brought him home, saying "Goodbye old folks, take care
of the dogs, and expect me home, when you see me."
Jim added, "He's all right up here sah," touching his head, "but his
heart's sort'er crazy."
I could scarcely taste the food, for I felt that there was over Jack,
and thus over me, an impending disaster. I had become deeply attached
to him. One knowing the intense nature of the man could not but fear
he was following an ignis fatuus to his doom. Here was a married man,
who had schooled his heart and reason to the belief he was not
wedded--that his marriage was a fiction of the law, and not binding on
his conscience. I was a religious man, and shuddered lest my friend
with his marvelous fascinations, and goaded by a mad passion, might do
some act abhorrent to my notions of right.
Days and weeks of uneasiness on my own part, and apparently of
distress on the part of the two colored servants passed by, without a
word from the absent one. At first I went to his house repeatedly to
rest and to think of him, but finally satisfied myself with inquiries
at the door.
About two months after his disappearance, it became necessary for me
to make a journey to a distant state in the interest of our house. I
was absent over a fortnight. Immediately upon my return, I visited the
den (I had learned to call it thus). A white woman met me at the door
with the information that she was the present tenant. She knew nothing
of the late occupants, but referred me to a real estate firm as her
landlords. I went to them. They knew nothing of the late tenants of
the cottage, farther than, that Mr. Jack Felden had sent them the
keys, and the rent to the end of the term. They found the premises in
fine condition, but nothing to indicate where the people had gone.
It was evident that Felden had what he considered good reasons for not
communicating with me. I was sure he sincerely liked me, and would not
thus act, unless he desired to cover his tracks. I respected his
wishes and did not afterwards refer to him. Desiring to work off my
anxiety I went to the river for a hard trial at rowing. The man in
charge of my boat handed me a note written he said, by himself at
Jim's dictation. It simply said, "Mars Jack axes you to take his canoe
for yersef. He won't want it no more. Good bye, sah, may de Lord be
good to you, for Mars Jack loved you.
his
Jim X Madison
mark"
I soon learned to scull the outrigger called by Jim, canoe, and used
it for years, but its late owner was seen by me no more in Cincinnati.
By degrees I ceased to expect him again. I often thought of him, and a
prayer for his happiness became a part of my nightly supplication,
before the throne of grace.