CHAPTER X

Denzil Ardayre took up his letters which had been forwarded to him from

the dépót where he was stationed. He and Verisschenzko were passing

through the hall of his mother's house, for a talk and a smoke in his

sitting-room, after leaving the Carlton.

The house was in St. James' Place, a small, old building, the ground

floor of which was given over to Denzil whenever he was in London. His

mother was absent at Bath, where she spent a long autumn cure.

John's letter lay on the top, and Verisschenzko caught the look of

interest which came into Denzil's face.

"Don't mind me, my dear chap," he remarked, "read your letters." And they

went on into the sitting-room.

"I want just to look at this one--it is from John Ardayre whom we met

to-night," and Denzil opened it casually--"I wonder what he is writing to

me about, he did not say anything at dinner."

He read the short communication and exclaimed: "Good God!" and then

checked himself. He was obviously stirred, and Verisschenzko watched him

narrowly. Anything to do with John must concern Amaryllis, and therefore

was of profound interest to himself.

"No bad news, I hope?" he said.

Denzil was gazing into the fire, and there was a look of wonderment and

even rapture upon his face.

"Oh! No--rather splendid--" He felt quite the strangest emotion he had

ever experienced in his life. His usual serene self-confidence and easy

flow of words deserted him, and Verisschenzko, watching him, began to

link certain things in his mind.

"Tell me, what did you think of your cousin, Lady Ardayre?" he asked

casually, as though the subject was irrelevant.

"Amaryllis?" and Denzil almost started from a reverie. "Oh, yes, of

course, she is a lovely creature, is not she, Stépan?"

Verisschenzko narrowed his eyes.

"I have told you that I adore her--but with the spirit--if it were

not so, she would appeal very strongly to the flesh--Yes?--Did you

not feel it?"

"I did."

"Well?"

"Well--"

"She is longing to understand life, she is groping; why do you not set

about her education, Denzil?"

"That is the husband's business."

"Not in this case. I consider it is yours; you are the right mate

for her. John Ardayre is a good fellow, but he stands for nothing in

the affair. Why did you waste your time upon Harietta, when time is

so short?"

"I was given no choice."

"But afterwards, in the hall?"

It was quite evident to Verisschenzko that the mention of Amaryllis was

causing his friend some unexplainable emotion.

"You did not even exert yourself, then. Why, Denzil?"

Denzil lit a cigarette.

"I thought her awfully attractive--it is the first time I have ever seen

her--as you know."

"And that was a reason for remaining silent and as stiff as a poker in

manner! You English are a strange race!"

Denzil smiled--if Stépan only knew everything, what would he say!

"You were made for each other. If I were you, I would not lose a

second's time!"

"My dear old boy, you seem quite to forget that the girl has a husband

of her own!"

"Not at all, it is for that reason--just because of that husband. I shall

say no more, you are quite intelligent enough to understand."

"You think it is all right then for a woman to have a lover?" Denzil

smiled as he curled rings of smoke. "It is curious how the most

honourable among us has not much conscience concerning such things."

Verisschenzko knocked off his cigarette ash and spoke contemplatively:

"The world would be an insupportable place for women, if he had! But

whatever the moral aspect of the matter is in general, circumstances

arise which alter the point, and that is where the absurd ticketing

system hampers suitable action. A thing is ticketed 'dishonourable.'

Pah! it is sometimes, and it is not at others--there is no hard and

fast rule."

Denzil stretched himself--he was always interested in Verisschenzko's

reasonings and prepared to listen with enjoyment:

"The general idea is that a man should not make love to another man's

wife. Man professes this as a creed, and the law enforces it and punishes

him if he is found out doing so. And if he acted up to this creed as he

does about stealing goods and behaving like a gentleman over business

matters, all might be well, but unfortunately that seldom occurs, because

there is that strong; instinct which is the base of all things working in

him, and which does not work in regard to any other point of

honour--i.e., the unconscious desire to re-create his, species, so that

this one particular branch of moral responsibility cannot be measured,

judged, or criticised from the same standpoint as any other. No laws can.

alter human nature, or really control a man's actions when a natural

force is prompting him unless stern self-analysis discovers the truth to

the man, and so permits his spirit to regain dominion. The best chance

would be to resist the first feeling of attraction which a woman

belonging to another man aroused before it had actually obtained a hold

upon his senses--but the percentage of men who do this must be very

small. Some resist--or try to resist the actual possession of the woman

from moral motives, but many more from motives of expediency and fear of

consequences. Then to salve conscience the mass of men ride a high moral

stalking horse, and write and speak condemnation of every back-sliding,

while their own behaviour coincides with the behaviour they are

criticising. The hypocrisy of the thing sickens me; no one ever looks any

question straight in the face, denuded of its man-made sophistries. And

few realise that a woman is a creature to be fought for--it is

prehistoric instinct, and if she can't be obtained in fair fight then you

secure her by strategy. And if a man cannot keep her once he has secured

her, it is up to him. If I had a wife, I should take good care that she

_desired_ no other man--but if I bored her, or was a cold and bad lover,

I should not expect the other men not to try and take her from

me--because I should know this was a natural instinct with them--like

taking food. It would probably be no temptation to most of us to steal

gold lying about in a room, even if we were poor, but a hideous

temptation to refrain from eating a tempting dish if we were starving

with hunger and it was before us--and if a woman did succumb to some new

passion I should blame myself, not her."

Denzil agreed.

"Jealousy is a natural instinct, though," he said, "and although there

would be not much profit in trying to hold a woman who no longer cared,

one could not help being mad about it."

"Of course not--that is the sense of personal possession which is

affronted. Vanity is deeply wounded, and so the power to analyse cause

and result sleeps. But this attitude which men take up of neglecting a

woman and then expecting her to be faithful still is quite ridiculous,

and without logic; they are as usual fogged by convention and can't see

straight."

Verisschenzko's rough voice was keen--compelling.

Denzil smiled.

"Another of your windmills to fight!"

"I am always fighting convention and shams. Get down to the meaning of a

thing, and if its true significance coincides with the convention which

surrounds it, then let that hold, but if convention is a super-imposed

growth, then amputate it and study the thing without it."

"I suppose a man marries a woman nine times out of ten because he cannot

obtain her in any other way; then when he has become indifferent by

possession, he still thinks that she should remain devoted to him. You

are right, Stépan, it is very illogical."

"Club the creature, or keep her in a cage if you want fidelity through

fear, but don't expect it if you allow her to remain at large and

neglected, and don't be such an ass as to imagine that your friends won't

act just as you yourself would act were she some one's else wife. If a

woman has that quality in her which arouses sex, married or single, I

never have observed that men refrained from making love to her."

"All this means that you consider I am quite at liberty to make love to

Amaryllis Ardayre!"

"Quite."

Denzil threw his cigarette end into the fire:

"Well, for once you are wrong, Stépan, in your usually perfect

deductions," he got up from his chair. "There is a reason in this

case which makes the thing an absolute impossibility; under no

possible circumstance while John is alive could I make the smallest

advance towards Amaryllis! There is another point of honour involved

in the affair."

Verisschenzko felt that here was some mystery which he had yet to

elucidate, the links in the chain were visible up to a point, but he then

became baffled by the incontestable fact that Denzil had seen Amaryllis

that evening for the first time!

"If this is so, then it is a very great pity," he announced, after a

moment or two's thought. "Were the times normal, we might leave all to

Fate and trust to luck, but if you are killed and John is killed, it

will be a thousand pities for Ferdinand to be the head of the family.

A creature like that will not enlist, he will be safe while you risk

your lives."

Denzil went over to the window, apparently to get out a fresh box of

cigars which were in a cabinet near.

"John writes to-night that there is the chance of an heir after all--so

perhaps we need not worry," he said, his voice a little hoarse with

feeling. "I was so awfully glad to hear this--we all loathe the thought

of Ferdinand."

Verisschenzko actually was startled, and also he was strangely moved.

"When I saw my lady Amaryllis to-night that idea came to me, only as I

believed it was quite an impossibility--I dismissed it--It is a war

miracle then?" and he smiled enquiringly.

"Apparently."

The cigar box was selected and Denzil had once more resumed his seat in a

big chair before either of them spoke again.

"I perfectly understand that there is some mystery here, Denzil--and that

you cannot tell me--and equally I cannot ask you any questions, but it

may be that in the days that are coming I could be of assistance to you.

I have some very curious information which I am holding concerning

Ferdinand Ardayre in his activities. You can always count on me--"

Verisschenzko rose from his chair, stirred deeply with the thoughts which

were coursing through his brain.

"Denzil--I love that woman--I am absolutely determined that I shall not

do so in any way but in spirit--I long for her to be happy--protected.

She has an exquisite soul--I would have given her to you with

contentment. You are her counterpart upon this plane--"

Denzil remained silent, he had never seen Stépan so agitated. The

situation was altogether very unusual. Then he asked:

"Do you think Ferdinand will make some protest then?"

"It is possible."

"But there is absolutely nothing to be said, the fact of there being a

child refutes all the old rumours."

"In law--"

"In every way," a flush had mounted to Denzil's forehead.

"You know Lemon Bridges?" Verisschenzko suggested.

"Yes--why do you ask?"

"He is a remarkably clever surgeon. It is said that he is also a

gentleman; if this news surprises him he will not express his feelings

probably."

Stépan was observing his friend with the minutest scrutiny now, while he

spoke lazily once more as though upon a casual topic bent, and he saw

that a lightning flash of anxiety passed through Denzil's eyes.

"I do not see how any one can have a word to say about the matter," and

he lit his cigar deliberately. "John is awfully pleased--"

"And so am I--and so are you, and so will be the lady Amaryllis. Thus we

can only wish for general happiness, and not anticipate difficulties

which may never occur. When is the event to happen?"

"The beginning of next May," Denzil announced, without hesitation, and

then the flush deepened, for he suddenly remembered that John had not

mentioned any date in his letter!

The subject was growing embarrassing, and he asked, so as to change it:

"What is your friend, Madame Boleski, doing now, Stépan?"

"She is receiving news from Germany which I shall endeavour to have her

transmit to me, and I have some suspicion that she is transmitting any

information which she can pick up here to Germany, but I cannot yet be

sure. When I am, then I shall have no mercy. She would betray any country

for an hour's personal pleasure or gain. I have not yet discovered who

the man was at the Ardayre ball--I told you about it, did I not? Just

then more important matters pressed and I could not follow up the clue."

"She is certainly physically attractive, and all the things she says are

so obvious and easy, she is quite a rest at a dinner, but Lord! think of

spending one's life with a woman like that!" and Denzil smiled.

"There are very few women whom it would be possible to contemplate in

calmness spending one's life with, because one's own needs change, and

the woman's also. The tie is a galling bond unless it can be looked at

with common sense by both--but I think men are quite as illogical as

women over it, and of such an incredible vanity! It is because we have

mixed so much sentiment into such a simple nature-act that all the

bothers arise, and men are unjust over every thing to do with women.

All men think, for instance, that a woman must not deceive her lover

and, at the same time that she is appearing to be his faithful

mistress, take another for her pleasure and diversion in secret. A man

would look upon this and rightly as a dishonourable betrayal because it

would wound his vanity and lower his personal prestige. But the

illogical part is that he would not hesitate to do the same thing

himself, and would never see the matter in the light of a betrayal,

because the Creator has happily equipped him with a rhinoceros hide

which enables him never to feel stings of self-contempt when viewing

his own actions towards the other sex."

Denzil laughed aloud.

"You are hard on us, Stépan, but I dare say you are right."

"It is just custom and convention which make us think ourselves such

gods. Had woman had the same chance always, who knows what she might not

have become by now! Everything is ticketed, it is called by a name and

put down under such and such a heading--women are 'weak' and 'illogical'

and 'unreliable' and men are 'brave' and 'sound' and 'to be

trusted'--tosh! in quantities of cases--and if so, why so? Women are

wonderful beings in many ways--of a courage! The way they bear things so

gladly for men--think of their suffering when they have children. You

don't know about it probably, men take all this as a matter of

course--but I saw my sister die--after hours of it--"

Denzil moved his arm rather suddenly and upset the glass of lemon squash

on a little table near.

Verisschenzko observed this, but went on without a break:

"It is agony for them under the best conditions, and sometimes they

become divine over it. Amaryllis will be divine--I hope John will take

care of her--"

A look of concern came into Denzil's face, and Verisschenzko watched him.

Could any one be more attractive as a splendid mate for Amaryllis, he

thought. He crushed down all feeling of human jealousy. His intuition

would probably reveal all the mystery to him presently, and meanwhile if

he could forward any scheme which would be for the good of Amaryllis and

the security of the family, he would do so.

"I must leave you now, old man," he said, looking at his watch. "I have a

rendezvous with Harietta. I shall have to play the part of an ardent

lover and cannot yet wring her neck."

When Denzil was alone, he stood gazing into the fire.

"That John should take care of her?"--but John was going out to

fight--and so was he--and they might both be killed--What then?

"Stépan knows, I am certain," he thought, "and he is true as steel; he

must stand by her if we don't come back."

And then his thoughts flew to the vision of her sitting opposite him at

the table, with her sweet eyes turned to his now and then, the faint

violet shadows beneath them and the transparent exquisiteness of her skin

telling their own story by the added, fragile beauty. Oh! what

unutterable joy to hold her in his arms and whisper passionate love words

in her little ears, to live again the dream of her dainty head lying

prone there on his breast. Every pulse in his being throbbed to bursting,

seeming almost to suffocate him.

"Amaryllis--Sweetheart!" he whispered aloud, and then started at his

own voice.

He paced up and down the room, clenching his hands. The family might go

on, but the two members of it must endure the pain of renunciation.

Which was the harder to bear, he wondered--his part of hopeless memory

and regret, or John's of forced denial and abstinence?

In all the world, no situation could be more strange or more cruel.

He had felt deeply about it before he had seen Amaryllis. He thought of

the myth of Eros and Psyche. His emotions had been much as Psyche's

before she lit the lamp. And now the lamp had been lighted--his eyes had

seen what his arms had clasped, the reality was more lovely than his

dream, and passion was kindled a hundredfold. It swept him off his feet.

He forgot war and the horror of the time, he forgot everything except

that he longed for Amaryllis.

"She is mine, absolutely mine," he said wildly. "Not John's."

And then he remembered his promise, given before any personal equation

had entered into the affair.

Never to take advantage of the situation--afterwards!

And what would the child be like? A true Ardayre, of course--they would

say that it had harked back, perhaps, to that Elizabethan Denzil whom

his father had told him was his exact portrait in the picture gallery

at Ardayre.

He could have laughed at the sardonic humour of everything if he had not

been too overcome with passionate desire to retain any critical sense.

Then he sat down and forced himself to realise what it meant--parenthood.

Not much to a man, as a rule. He had looked upon those occult stirrings

of the spirit of which he had read as romantic nonsense. It was a natural

thing and all right if a man had a place for him to wish to have a

son--but otherwise, sentimentality over such things was such rot!

And yet now he found himself thrilling with sentiment. He would like to

talk to Amaryllis all about it, and listen to her thoughts, too. And then

he remembered the many discussions with Verisschenzko upon the theory of

re-birth and of the soul's return again and again until its lessons are

learned on this plane of existence, and he wondered what soul would

animate the physical form of this little being who would be his and hers.

And suddenly in his mental vision the walls of the room seemed to fade,

and he was only conscious of a vastness of space, and knew that for this

brief moment he was looking into eternity and realising for the first

time the wonder of things.

* * * * *

Meanwhile Verisschenzko had returned to the Carlton and was softly

walking down the passage towards the Boleskis' rooms. The ante-room door

was at the corner, and as he was about ten yards from it a man came out

and strode rapidly towards the lift down the corridor at right angles,

but the bright light fell upon his face for an instant, and Verisschenzko

saw that it was Ferdinand Ardayre.

He waited where he was until he heard the lift doors shut, and even then

he paced up and down for a time before he entered the sitting-room. There

must be no suspicion that he had encountered the late visitor.

"Darling Brute, here you are!" Harietta cried delightedly, rising from

her sofa and throwing herself into his arms. "I've packed Stanislass off

to the St. James' to play piquet. I have been all alone waiting for you

for the last hour--I began to fear you would not come."

Verisschenzko looked at her, with his cynical, humorous smile, whose

meaning never reached her. He took in the transparent garments which

hardly covered her, and then he bent and picked up a man's handkerchief

which lay on a table near.

"_Tiens_! Harietta!" he remarked lazily. "Since when has Stanislass taken

to using this very Eastern perfume?" and he sniffed with disgust.

The wide look of startled innocence grew in Madame Boleski's hazel eyes.

"I believe Stanislass must have got a mistress, Stépan. I have

noticed lately these scents on his things--as you know, he never used

any before!"

"The handkerchief is marked with 'F.A.' I suppose the _blanchisseuse_

mixes them in hotels. Let us burn the memento of a husband's straying

fancies then; the taste in perfumes of his inamorata is anything but

refined," and Verisschenzko tossed the bit of cambric into the fire which

sparkled in the grate.

"I've lots of news to tell you, Darling Brute--but I shan't--yet! Have

you come to England to see that bit of bread and butter--or--?"

But Verisschenzko, with a fierce savagery which she adored, crushed her

in his arms.

The Price of Things · 第 10 / 23 章