About a week after they were married, Toney and Tom, with their brides,
went to Bella Vista, and witnessed the union of Harry Vincent and Imogen
Hazlewood, and of Clarence Hastings and Claribel Carrington. Upon his
return to Mapleton, Toney received a letter from the Professor,
informing him of his marriage with Dora. Dora's aunt having died, about
six months before their arrival in Virginia, she had no near relative;
and her husband had determined to purchase an estate near Mapleton,
where they would, in future, reside. Toney was authorized to enter into
negotiations for the purchase of the property.
While Toney and Tom were standing near the post-office, conversing about
the contents of the Professor's letter, Seddon suddenly exclaimed,--
"Look!--look yonder!"
On the opposite side of the street they beheld what appeared to be a
procession of giants and dwarfs. In front walked Cleopatra with little
Love on her arm. Next followed Theodosia with Dove, who looked like a
pigmy by her side. After them came Sophonisba with Bliss; and in the
rear was Hercules with a very pretty but unusually diminutive woman. The
giant could not stoop to give her his arm, but led her by the hand. The
procession passed on, and entered the house of Gideon Foot.
"Who in the world was that little woman?" asked Tom.
"His wife," said Toney.
"Is Hercules married?"
"He was married about a week ago to his little cousin Polly Sampson. He
bought a farm adjoining that of Moses, whose father is dead. Hercules
lives out there with his little wife, and has, I suppose, brought her
into town on a visit to his relations."
"And what has become of Moses?" asked Tom.
"Moses is also married."
"He is?" exclaimed Tom, in astonishment.
"Yes; he is married notwithstanding his dread of the female sex."
"How did it ever happen?"
"By the death of his father, Moses became a landed proprietor, and is
the owner of a fine farm in a high state of cultivation. Several
enterprising young maidens endeavored to make an impression on his
heart; but he could not be induced to go into their society until, on a
certain occasion, there was a rural festival in the neighborhood, called
an apple-butter boiling."
"Did Moses go to that?"
"He would not have gone had not some waggish young farmers first put him
in an abnormal condition, by the consumption of a considerable quantity
of hard cider. The cider imparted a wonderful degree of courage, and
Moses went to the festival, where he soon found himself surrounded by
rustic beauties. Moses drank more cider and became more courageous.
Finally, as he sat in a corner with a pretty maiden, he popped the
question."
"He did?"
"The young maiden said 'Yes' with a sweet smile, and looked so pretty
that Moses kissed her."
"Great thunder!" cried Tom.
"When Moses got sober he was greatly alarmed; but it was too late to
recede. More than twenty people had heard his promise of marriage. The
young woman's father threatened to have a suit brought for breach of
promise; and her big brother said that he would cudgel the swain if he
proved false to his engagement. So Moses, dreadfully frightened, was led
like a lamb to the altar, and now has a very pretty wife, and looks
contented and happy."
Toney purchased the property for his friend, and in a few weeks the
Professor and Dora arrived with the intention of making it their
permanent home. Tom became the owner of an adjoining estate. The three
friends, with their wives, frequently assembled in the parlor of the
Widow Wild, with whom Toney and Rosabel continued to reside after their
marriage. Not long subsequent to the arrival of the Professor and Dora,
Clarence and Harry, with Claribel and Imogen, came to Mapleton on a
visit. During the conversation of the evening, Tom asked Toney if he
still adhered to the opinion which he once so emphatically expressed as
they sat on the veranda of the hotel in Bella Vista.
"What was that?" asked Toney.
"That the right man is never married to the right woman."
"No; I do not," said Toney, with emphasis. And he looked at Rosabel.
"There must be a recantation of such opinions when experience has
demonstrated their fallacy," said the Professor, with a look of tender
affection at Dora. Each husband looked at his wife, and each wife
returned the glance; and it was evident that the ladies and gentlemen
present were unanimously of opinion that the right men had been married
to the right women.
"And what has become of the Mystic Order of Seven Sweethearts?" asked
Tom.
"The organization has been destroyed by a power which man has never been
able to resist," said Toney.
"What is that?" asked Rosabel.
"Love," said her husband.
"_Amor vincit omnia_," said the Professor, as he arose from his seat;
and, bidding his friends good-night, conducted Dora to their carriage.
As they rode homeward, Dora inquired the meaning of those Latin words,
and they were translated by her husband; and she now learned that even
the stern old Romans recognized and acknowledged the
OMNIPOTENCE OF LOVE.
THE END.
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End of Project Gutenberg's The Funny Philosophers, by George Yellott