Wiggins and his friends furnished the unfortunate Pate with pecuniary
means, and he accompanied them to Chagres and embarked for New York,
where in due time they arrived, and immediately took passage on the
Southern train. About a week after his arrival in Mapleton, Pate
received a visit from the father of the fair Juliet, who informed him
that his daughter, the wife of Romeo, had discovered that there had been
a misapprehension on her part in regard to Pate's conduct.
"There has been a sad mistake," said Mr. Singleton. "You honestly
believed that my daughter had beaten you, and did not intend to slander
her when you so asserted."
"She did beat me, sir," said Pate, "and most barbarously. She knocked me
down with her fist and then broke my arm."
"You thought so," said Mr. Singleton; "but it was a mistake."
"How could it be a mistake?" cried Pate. "Did I not feel the blow from
her fist? Did I not see her standing over me, kicking me with her foot
and beating me with a terrible club? Was not my arm broken? Did I not
lie in bed for weeks? And then to sue me! And now I am a ruined man! I
have not a dollar in the world!"
And the big tears rolled down his cheeks as he thought of his destitute
condition.
"Mr. Pate," said the father of the fair Juliet, visibly affected by
Pate's distress, "I am rich, and so is my daughter's husband. She is my
only child and will inherit all my wealth. She don't want your property.
Your farm has been purchased by us, and a deed prepared securing the
title to you. Here is the deed, sir, and here is a check on my banker
for a sum equal to the value of your personal property, which was sold
by the sheriff. Good-morning, Mr. Pate." And Mr. Singleton hurried away,
leaving Pate dumb with amazement.
After having been haunted by bad lack for a long period Fortune smiled
upon M. T. Pate at last. The first thing he did, after being
re-established in his former home, was to hunt up old Whitey, then in
the possession of Simon Rump. Simon's angel had gone to Abraham's bosom,
and the eldest of the female cherubs, who had now assumed the appearance
of a full-grown woman, kept house for the bereaved Rump. When Pate
called at the house he found his friend Perch seated by the side of the
female cherub, who was evidently delighted with his society. Perch was
entertaining the cherub with an account of his adventures by sea and
land, and, like Desdemona,--
"She swore, in faith, 'twas strange, 'twas passing strange;
'Twas pitiful, 'twas wondrous pitiful;
She wished she had not heard it; yet she wished
That Heaven had made her such a man."
The sagacity of M. T. Pate enabled him to perceive that Perch and the
cherub were in the incipient stages of love, and he left them in that
embarrassing condition and sought Simon Rump, whom he found feeding his
hogs. Rump agreed to give up old Whitey, and Pate paid the ransom for
his horse and rode home in a happy mood of mind.
Next morning, as he was riding his four-footed friend through the
streets of Mapleton, he perceived Wiggins walking with the widow whom he
had once led to the altar but failed to marry, owing to an unfortunate
blunder. They had evidently become reconciled; and Wiggins was now
performing the part of Othello, and employing the witchcraft which that
dusky hero had used in wooing Brabantio's daughter.
As Pate rode on he met Gideon Foot, who informed him that Bliss had been
blessed with an heir, and the boy was to be named M. T. Pate. Love had a
sweet babe several weeks old, that looked like a Cupid smiling in the
cradle, and very recently a pretty pair of young Doves had made their
appearance in the town of Mapleton.
Pate rode home in a meditative mood. A strange feeling came over him; a
feeling he had never experienced before; and as he sat in his lonely
abode, absorbed in meditation, it became stronger, and finally obtained
the mastery.
"I see it plainly!" he exclaimed, in a soliloquy. "It is useless for man
to seek to avoid his destiny. Inevitable Fate will pursue him wherever
he goes. He cannot escape. My time has come. I must marry." He uttered
these last words in great agitation, and trembled from head to foot. In
a few moments he started up and exclaimed,--
"I must marry;--but whom?"
He could not answer this question, and held it under consideration for
several months, without being able to arrive at a satisfactory
conclusion.
During this period he witnessed the marriage of Perch and the cherub,
and waited on Wiggins when the latter again led the blushing widow to
the altar, and, on a second trial, responded pertinently and
satisfactorily to the interrogatories propounded by the parson. His two
friends were now in the midst of domestic bliss, while he was unable to
solve the question, which was perplexing him during the day and
interrupting his slumbers at night.
While in this condition of mind, he visited the metropolis of the State,
and on a bright sunny day drove a young widow in his buggy to see a
magnificent country residence, located a few miles from the city, which
had just been completed, but was not yet occupied by the owner. With his
fair companion on his arm he entered the building, and much time was
spent in a critical examination of the various apartments, from the hall
to the attic. The widow at last complained of fatigue, and seated
herself in one of the parlors. Pate blandly requested her to excuse his
absence for a few moments, and said that he would go down and explore
the cellar. The lady waited for a long time and then began to feel
lonesome, and finally becoming quite uneasy, impatiently exclaimed,--
"What in the world has become of him?"
Hardly had these words escaped her lips when she was horrified by
hearing most singular and startling sounds coming up from the cellar
below. It seemed as if a multitude of dogs, of every size and breed, had
been let loose, and were all yelping and barking at the same time;
while amidst this canine uproar could be distinguished a human voice
lustily shrieking,--
"Get out! get out! Help! help! Murder! murder!"
The lady was astonished and frightened, but had courage enough to rush
towards the scene of action. But as soon as she had reached the head of
the stairway leading to the cellar, a sight met her eyes which compelled
her to retire; for modesty forbade her taking any part in the strife,
although her companion was vastly overpowered and sadly in need of
assistance. On the stairway stood M. T. Pate; having just escaped from
the combined assault made upon him by a large number of dogs which had
been temporarily confined in the cellar by the proprietor of the
mansion. The whole of poor Pate's under-garments had been torn from his
person, and there he stood in a tailless coat and a stout pair of boots,
thanking a merciful Providence for the preservation of his life. In this
condition he did not dare to appear in the presence of his fair
companion, and communication was carried on between them, by each taking
a position in a separate apartment and calling to the other in a voice
raised to a high key. After a prolonged consultation conducted in this
manner, the widow proposed to leave one of her under-garments in the
room which she then occupied and retreat to another, while he came in
and put it on. Poor Pate thankfully accepted the loan which the kind
lady offered him; being driven to this shift to hide his nudity. He and
the widow were compelled to remain in that lonely mansion until the
shades of night covered the earth, when he drove her in his buggy back
to the city. He left her at her door and proceeded with his buggy to a
livery-stable. Here the sight of his strange habiliments created great
amazement among the hostlers and stable-boys; and when he started up the
street in his robes he was arrested by the police and carried to a
station-house; where he spent the whole night weeping and wailing on a
hard oaken bench. In the morning he was taken before a magistrate, where
his strange story was listened to with wonder mingled with much
merriment; and being entirely satisfactory, he obtained his discharge,
as well as the loan of a coat and a pair of pantaloons.
On the following day Pate called upon the widow and restored the
garment borrowed from her, after the brutal assault upon his person in
the lonely mansion. She blushed when she received it, and sank into a
chair overcome with emotion. The heart of a woman is an inexplicable
puzzle. Newton, with his mighty mind, could comprehend the movements of
suns and planets and calculate their density; but woman was to him an
incomprehensible problem, even when he pressed the hand of a fair lady
who sat by his side, and felt that he could make so free as to thrust
her finger into the bowl of his pipe. Who can tell what caused the widow
to bestow her affections on M. T. Pate? Perhaps, after he had so nearly
fallen a bleeding victim to canine ferocity,--
"She loved him for the dangers he had passed,
And he loved her that she did pity them."
Upon no other hypothesis can we account for the fact that after he had
been in constant attendance on the widow for several weeks they were
married. A few days afterwards a carriage drove through the streets of
Mapleton, in which sat M. T. Pate and his bride. The event was announced
in the local newspaper, which also contained an obituary notice of the
death of Samuel Crabstick, who had left a will, by which he bestowed the
riches he had so carefully hoarded on his niece, the beautiful Ida
Somers.