CONFESSION.
Cleo Ballard did not answer Takashima's letter. All night long it rose
up before her accusingly, and the next morning she dressed in feverish
haste, and rushed off to her friend, Mrs. Davis.
"Jenny," she said, wildly, "I want to go away--I must go--I am stifling
here. I must leave Tokyo--I--I----" she broke down and covered her face
with her hands.
"Why, Cleo--what is it?" Her friend's kindly arms were around her.
"I can't tell you, Jenny. I can't tell you--you would hate me, and then,
except Tom--Oh, Jenny, I can't afford now to lose any one's friendship."
"Nothing you can tell me, Cleo, would make me hate you. Is it some
flirtation you have carried too far? Come, now, it used to relieve you
to tell me all about these things in America. Who is it? Alliston?
Cranston? or the Englishman?--or--or----"
"No--none of them--it--it--Oh, Jenny, I can't tell you."
"You must, Cleo--it will do you good, I know, and perhaps I can help
you."
"It is--Takashima."
Jenny Davis' hands dropped from Cleo's shoulders.
"Orito!"
The two looked at each other in tragic silence.
"Cleo, how _could_ you do it? There were enough without him;--when was
it? how? tell me all about it--Oh! poor little Numè!"
"It was on the steamer----"
"On the steamer," her friend repeated, stupidly. "Yes, go on;--well, and
what happened--you----?"
"Yes--I did it deliberately--I made him--care for me. I was lonely, and
wanted to be amused. The passengers were uninteresting and stupid. He
was different, with his gentle, odd ways. Sometimes I got almost
frightened of myself, because he took everything so seriously. I did not
mean to--to really hurt him. I wanted to see how a Japanese would act if
he were in love, and--and Tom kept telling me how proof he was against
women--and--Oh, Jenny, when he did speak out to me, I had not the
courage, then, to tell him the truth. And all the time I knew
it--but----"
Her friend's shocked face startled her.
"Yes; I understand," she said, bitterly. "I knew you would hate me--I
deserve it--only I----"
Jenny Davis put her arms round her again.
"Dear, I don't hate you. Indeed, I don't, but it has startled me so. I
am so--so shocked, because of Numè, and the two poor old men. I don't
know what to say, but I'd stand by _you_, dear, against all the Japanese
in Japan if it became necessary." She put her head against Cleo's, and
the two friends wept in sympathy with each other, as women do.
"You must face the thing out, Cleo. Have you told Takashima yet?"
"No;--he sent me this to-day," she put the note despairingly into her
friend's hands.
"How dreadful!--how perfectly awful!--you do not know the Japanese as I
do, dear. It will just break the two old men's hearts. They have looked
forward to his marriage with Numè all their lives. They don't love their
children as we do in America. Their pride in them is too pathetic, Cleo;
and when they disappoint them it is like a death-blow."
"Don't, Jenny--_don't_, please don't talk about them."
"But we must, Cleo. That is where the whole mistake has always been with
you. You are too weak, Cleo. You can't look suffering in the face, and
in consequence you do nothing to relieve it. Your duty is plain. Go
right to Orito and tell him the truth."
"Jenny, I can't do it. He said once on the steamer that he would not
scruple to take his life if he were very unhappy; and then he went on to
tell me how common suicides were in Japan, and how the Japanese had not
the smallest fear of death, and he seemed to think it would be a
courageous act to--to take one's life. Jenny, I got so frightened that
night I almost screamed out."
"But sooner or later you will have to tell him, Cleo. Don't let him know
it solely by your marrying Sinclair. That would be too cruel;--tell him.
Tell me, Cleo, do you think he actually believes you care for him?"
"Yes;--once I almost told him so--at least I led him to believe it--and
it was true, almost, that night."
"Cleo!"
"You tell him, Jenny."
"I! Why, he wouldn't listen to me, Cleo."
Cleo got up desperately, and began pacing the floor.
"I will not give Arthur up, Jenny. You don't know how I love him--love
him. I think day and night of him. I forgive him everything. He is cold
often, and I am humiliated at his indifference at times, but I go on
loving him better than ever. I can't help it;--I shall love him as long
as I live."
Jenny Davis watched her with anxious eyes. She had known her for some
years, had known her better qualities, her weaknesses, her strength; and
her heart ached for her. She was so beautiful, with a lithe, grand,
extraordinary beauty.
"Yes, Cleo," she said, slowly, "you are right. You must go away--right
at once. There is a party of English tourists going to Matsushima Bay
to-morrow. Pack a few things hastily and join them. I know them all
well, and you know some of them, too."
"Yes," the girl agreed, eagerly. "And you _will_ break it to him--you
will save me--that--that pain."
"I will try, Cleo." The two women were silent a moment. Then Mrs. Davis
said: "Cleo, does Arthur Sinclair know?"
Cleo's eyes were full of a vague terror "No--no--and he must not.
Jenny, he is so strict about such things--he would despise me; and then,
Mr. Takashima is his friend. He would not forgive me. Jenny, he _must_
not know." After a time she said, almost wildly: "Jenny, I hate
Takashima whenever I think of his alienating Arthur and me for even a
moment, as he would do if--if Arthur found out."