[As it was not probable that the Lady could give so particular an
account of her own confusion, in the affecting scene she mentions on Mr.
Lovelace's offering himself to her acceptance, the following extracts
are made from his letter of the above date.]
And now, Belford, what wilt thou say, if, like the fly buzzing about the
bright taper, I had like to have singed the silken wings of my liberty?
Never was man in greater danger of being caught in his own snares: all
my views anticipated; all my schemes untried; the admirable creature no
brought to town; nor one effort made to know if she be really angel or
woman.
I offered myself to her acceptance, with a suddenness, 'tis true, that
gave her no time to wrap herself in reserves; and in terms less tender
than fervent, tending to upbraid her for her past indifference, and to
remind her of her injunctions: for it was the fear of her brother,
not her love of me, that had inclined her to dispense with those
injunctions.
I never beheld so sweet a confusion. What a glory to the pencil,
could it do justice to it, and to the mingled impatience which visibly
informed every feature of the most meaning and most beautiful face
in the world! She hemmed twice or thrice: her look, now so charmingly
silly, then so sweetly significant; till at last the lovely teaser,
teased by my hesitating expectation of her answer, out of all power
of articulate speech, burst into tears, and was turning from me with
precipitation, when, presuming to fold her in my happy arms--O think
not, best beloved of my heart, said I, think not, that this motion,
which you may believe to be so contrary to your former injunctions,
proceeds from a design to avail myself of the cruelty of your relations:
if I have disobliged you by it, (and you know with what respectful
tenderness I have presumed to hint it,) it shall be my utmost care for
the future--There I stopped----
Then she spoke, but with vexation--I am--I am--very unhappy--Tears
trickling down her crimson cheeks, and her sweet face, as my arms still
encircled the finest waist in the world, sinking upon my shoulder; the
dear creature so absent, that she knew not the honour she permitted me.
But why, but why unhappy, my dearest life? said I:--all the gratitude
that ever overflowed the heart of the most obliged of men--
Justice to myself there stopped my mouth: for what gratitude did I owe
her for obligations so involuntary?
Then recovering herself, and her usual reserves, and struggling to free
herself from my clasping arms, How now, Sir! said she, with a cheek more
indignantly glowing, and eyes of fiercer lustre.
I gave way to her angry struggle; but, absolutely overcome by so
charming a display of innocent confusion, I caught hold of her hand as
she was flying from me, and kneeling at her fee, O my angel, said I,
(quite destitute of reserve, and hardly knowing the tenor of my own
speech; and had a parson been there, I had certainly been a gone man,)
receive the vows of your faithful Lovelace. Make him yours, and only
yours, for ever. This will answer every end. Who will dare to form plots
and stratagems against my wife? That you are not so is the ground of
all their foolish attempts, and of their insolent hopes in Solmes's
favour.--O be mine!--I beseech you (thus on my knee I beseech you) to
be mine. We shall then have all the world with us. And every body will
applaud an event that every body expects.
Was the devil in me! I no more intended all this ecstatic nonsense, than
I thought the same moment of flying in the air! All power is with this
charming creature. It is I, not she, at this rate, that must fail in the
arduous trial.
Didst thou ever before hear of a man uttering solemn things by an
involuntary impulse, in defiance of premeditation, and of all his proud
schemes? But this sweet creature is able to make a man forego every
purpose of his heart that is not favourable to her. And I verily think
I should be inclined to spare her all further trial (and yet what trial
has she had?) were it not for the contention that her vigilance has set
on foot, which shall overcome the other. Thou knowest my generosity
to my uncontending Rosebud--and sometimes do I qualify my
ardent aspirations after even this very fine creature, by this
reflection:--That the most charming woman on earth, were she an empress,
can excel the meanest in the customary visibles only. Such is the
equality of the dispensation, to the prince and the peasant, in this
prime gift WOMAN.
Well, but what was the result of this involuntary impulse on my
part?--Wouldst thou not think; I was taken at my offer?--An offer so
solemnly made, and on one knee too?
No such thing! The pretty trifler let me off as easily as I could have
wished.
Her brother's project; and to find that there were no hopes of a
reconciliation for her; and the apprehension she had of the mischiefs
that might ensue; these, not my offer, nor love of me, were the causes
to which she ascribed all her sweet confusion--an ascription that is
high treason against my sovereign pride,--to make marriage with me but
a second-place refuge; and as good as to tell me that her confusion
was owing to her concern that there were no hopes that my enemies would
accept of her intended offer to renounce a man who had ventured his life
for her, and was still ready to run the same risque in her behalf!
I re-urged her to make me happy, but I was to be postponed to her cousin
Morden's arrival. On him are now placed all her hopes.