Mr. Lovelace communicated to me this morning early, from his
intelligencer, the news of my brother's scheme. I like him the better
for making very light of it, and for his treating it with contempt. And
indeed, had I not had the hint of it from you, I should have suspected
it to be some contrivance of his, in order to hasten me to town, where
he has long wished to be himself.
He read me the passage in that Leman's letter, which is pretty much to
the effect of what you wrote to me from Miss Lloyd; with this addition,
that one Singleton, a master of a Scots vessel, is the man who is to be
the principal in this act of violence.
I have seen him. He had been twice entertained at Harlowe-place, as my
brother's friend. He has the air of a very bold and fearless man, and I
fancy it must be his project; as my brother, I suppose, talks to every
body of the rash step I have taken, for he did not spare me before he
had this seeming reason to censure me.
This Singleton lives at Leith; so, perhaps, I am to be carried to my
brother's house not far from that port.
Putting these passages together, I am not a little apprehensive that the
design, lightly as Mr. Lovelace, from his fearless temper, treats it,
may be attempted to be carried into execution; and of the consequences
that may attend it, if it be.
I asked Mr. Lovelace, seeing him so frank and cool, what he would advise
me to do.
Shall I ask you, Madam, what are your own thoughts?--Why I return the
question, said he, is, because you have been so very earnest that I
should leave you as soon as you are in London, that I know not what to
propose without offending you.
My opinion is, said I, that I should studiously conceal myself from the
knowledge of every body but Miss Howe; and that you should leave me
out of hand; since they will certainly conclude, that where one is, the
other is not far off: and it is easier to trace you than me.
You would not surely wish, said he, to fall into your brother's hands
by such a violent measure as this? I propose not to throw myself
officiously in their way; but should they have reason to think I avoided
them, would not that whet their diligence to find you, and their courage
to attempt to carry you off, and subject me to insults that no man of
spirit can bear?
Lord bless me! said I, to what had this one fatal step that I have been
betrayed into----
Dearest Madam, let me beseech you to forbear this harsh language, when
you see, by this new scheme, how determined they were upon carrying
their old ones, had you not been betrayed, as you call it. Have I
offered to defy the laws of society, as this brother of yours must do,
if any thing be intended by this project? I hope you will be pleased to
observe that there are as violent and as wicked enterprisers as myself.
But this is so very wild a project, that I think there can be no room
for apprehensions from it. I know your brother well. When at college,
he had always a romantic turn: but never had a head for any thing but to
puzzle and confound himself. A half-invention, and a whole conceit; but
not master of talents to do himself good, or others harm, but as those
others gave him the power by their own folly.
This is very volubly run off, Sir!--But violent spirits are but too much
alike; at least in their methods of resenting. You will not presume to
make yourself a less innocent man, surely, who had determined to brave
my whole family in person, if my folly had not saved you the rashness,
and them the insult--
Dear Madam!--Still must it be folly, rashness!--It is as impossible for
you to think tolerably of any body out of your own family, as it is
for any one in your family to deserve your love! Forgive me, dearest
creature! If I did not love you as never man loved a woman, I might
appear more indifferent to preferences so undeservedly made. But let me
ask you, Madam, What have you borne from me? What cause have I given
you to treat me with so much severity and so little confidence? And what
have you not borne from them? Malice and ill-will, sitting in judgment
upon my character, may not give sentence in my favour: But what of your
own knowledge have you against me?
Spirited questions, were they not, my dear?--And they were asked with
as spirited an air. I was startled. But I was resolved not to desert
myself.
Is this a time, Mr. Lovelace, is this a proper occasion taken, to
give yourself these high airs to me, a young creature destitute of
protection? It is a surprising question you ask me--Had I aught against
you of my own knowledge--I can tell you, Sir--And away I would have
flung.
He snatched my hand, and besought me not to leave him in displeasure. He
pleaded his passion for me, and my severity to him, and partiality for
those from whom I had suffered so much; and whose intended violence, he
said, was now the subject of our deliberation.