He begins with communicating to him the letter he wrote to
Mr. Doleman, to procure suitable lodgings in town, and which
he sent away by the Lady's approbation: and then gives him a
copy of the answer to it (see p. 218): upon which he thus
expresses himself:
Thou knowest the widow; thou knowest her nieces; thou knowest the
lodgings: and didst thou ever read a letter more artfully couched
than this of Tom Doleman? Every possible objection anticipated! Every
accident provided against! Every tittle of it plot-proof!
Who could forbear smiling, to see my charmer, like a farcical dean and
chapter, choose what was before chosen for her; and sagaciously (as they
go in form to prayers, that Heaven would direct their choice) pondering
upon the different proposals, as if she would make me believe she had
a mind for some other? The dear sly rogue looking upon me, too, with a
view to discover some emotion in me. Emotions I had; but I can tell
her that they lay deeper than her eye could reach, though it had been a
sun-beam.
No confidence in me, fair one! None at all, 'tis plain. Thou wilt
not, if I were inclined to change my views, encourage me by a generous
reliance on my honour!--And shall it be said that I, a master of arts in
love, shall be overmatched by so unpractised a novice?
But to see the charmer so far satisfied with my contrivance as to borrow
my friend's letter, in order to satisfy Miss Howe likewise--!
Silly little rogues! to walk out into bye-paths on the strength of their
own judgment!--When nothing but experience can enable them to disappoint
us, and teach them grandmother-wisdom! When they have it indeed, then
may they sit down, like so many Cassandras, and preach caution to
others; who will as little mind them as they did their instructresses,
whenever a fine handsome confidant young fellow, such a one as thou
knowest who, comes across them.
But, Belford, didst thou not mind that sly rogue Doleman's naming
Dover-street for the widow's place of abode?--What dost thou think
could be meant by that?--'Tis impossible thou shouldst guess, so, not
to puzzle thee about it, suppose the Widow Sinclair's in Dover-street
should be inquired after by some officious person, in order to come at
characters [Miss Howe is as sly as the devil, and as busy to the full,]
and neither such a name, nor such a house, can be found in that street,
nor a house to answer the description; then will not the keenest hunter
in England be at a fault?
But how wilt thou do, methinks thou askest, to hinder the lady from
resenting the fallacy, and mistrusting thee the more on that account,
when she finds it out to be in another street?
Pho! never mind that: either I shall have a way for it, or we shall
thoroughly understand one another by that time; or if we don't, she'll
know enough of me, not to wonder at such a peccadilla.
But how wilt thou hinder the lady from apprizing her friend of the real
name?
She must first know it herself, monkey, must she not?
Well, but how wilt thou do to hinder her from knowing the street, and
her friend from directing letters thither, which will be the same thing
as if the name were known?
Let me alone for that too.
If thou further objectest, that Tom Doleman, is too great a dunce to
write such a letter in answer to mine:--Canst thou not imagine that, in
order to save honest Tom all this trouble, I who know the town so well,
could send him a copy of what he should write, and leave him nothing to
do but transcribe?
What now sayest thou to me, Belford?
And suppose I had designed this task of inquiry for thee; and suppose
the lady excepted against thee for no other reason in the world, but
because of my value for thee? What sayest thou to the lady, Jack?
This it is to have leisure upon my hands!--What a matchless plotter
thy friend!--Stand by, and let me swell!--I am already as big as an
elephant, and ten times wiser!--Mightier too by far! Have I not reason
to snuff the moon with my proboscis?--Lord help thee for a poor, for a
very poor creature!--Wonder not that I despise thee heartily; since the
man who is disposed immoderately to exalt himself, cannot do it but by
despising every body else in proportion.
I shall make good use of the Dolemanic hint of being married. But I will
not tell thee all at once. Nor, indeed, have I thoroughly digested that
part of my plot. When a general must regulate himself by the motions of
a watchful adversary, how can he say beforehand what he will, or what he
will not, do?