You may believe, my dear Miss Howe, that the circumstances of the noise
and outcry within the garden-door, on Monday last, gave me no small
uneasiness, to think that I was in the hands of a man, who could, by
such vile premeditation, lay a snare to trick me out of myself, as I
have so frequently called it.
Whenever he came in my sight, the thought of this gave me an indignation
that made his presence disgustful to me; and the more, as I fancied
I beheld in his face a triumph which reproached my weakness on that
account; although perhaps it was only the same vivacity and placidness
that generally sit upon his features.
I was resolved to task him upon this subject, the first time I could
have patience to enter upon it with him. For, besides that it piqued me
excessively from the nature of the artifice, I expected shuffling and
evasion, if he were guilty, that would have incensed me: and, if not
confessedly guilty, such unsatisfactory declarations as still would have
kept my mind doubtful and uneasy; and would, upon every new offence that
he might give me, sharpen my disgust to me.
I have had the opportunity I waited for; and will lay before you the
result.
He was making his court to my good opinion in very polite terms, and
with great seriousness lamenting that he had lost it; declaring, that he
knew not how he had deserved to do so; attributing to me an indifference
to him, that seemed, to his infinite concern, hourly to increase, And
he besought me to let him know my whole mind, that he might have an
opportunity either to confess his faults and amend them, or clear his
conduct to my satisfaction, and thereby entitle himself to a greater
share of my confidence.
I answered him with quickness--Then, Mr. Lovelace, I will tell you one
thing with a frankness, that is, perhaps, more suitable to my character
than to yours, [He hoped not, he said,] which gives me a very bad
opinion of you, as a designing, artful man.