The elder Baron uncertain as to the exact locality of my birth.
Reasons why will be given later. My parents traveling in Africa at
this time. The elder Baron’s remarkable ascent of the Mountains of
the Moon. Miraculous escape from the impenetrable fog. How
accomplished. In the land of the Melodious Sneezers. All that
happened there. How the King of the Melodious Sneezers conducted my
parents in great honor to his palace, and how they were treated by
him.
[Illustration: THE MUZZLED MULES]
While it lies within my power to gratify the curiosity of my readers as
to what part of the world it was in which I first saw darkness—for I was
born in the night—yet, as to the nature of the immediate spot on which I
was born, unfortunately I am able to do more than repeat my father’s
words when questioned as to this point.
“My son, if I were on my death-bed I could only say that thou wert
either born in the centre in a great lake, on an island, upon a
peninsula or on the top of a very high mountain, as I have often
explained to thee.”
Let it suffice, then, gentle reader, for the present, for me to inform
you that at the time of my birth, my parents were traveling in Africa;
that my father had just successfully accomplished one of the most
wonderful feats in mountain climbing, namely, the ascent of the loftiest
peak of the Mountains of the Moon; that his guides had abandoned him
upon his reaching a particularly dangerous spot in the ascent; but that
he had pushed forward without them, and reached the summit after several
days of terrible privation, suffering both hunger and thirst,—it being a
peculiarity of the atmosphere after passing a certain height that the
muscles of the face and throat became paralyzed and the unfortunate
traveler either perishes from hunger or thirst while in the very
presence of delicious fruit and cool, limpid water.
Upon rejoining my mother, who had accompanied him as far up the mountain
side as the best-trained and most surefooted mules could find a
foot-hold, they proceeded to make their way, as they supposed, to the
valley from which they had first set out.
An impenetrable fog now shut them in and they soon found themselves
hopelessly and helplessly wandering about.
On the morning of the third day the fog had even increased in thickness,
closing around them like a pall, almost shutting out the light of day.
While groping about my father had come into contact with the two beasts
of burden which had served him in the easier parts of the ascent. They
were quietly and unconcernedly browsing upon the sweet and tender shrubs
which grew on the mountain side.
Suddenly an idea came to my father. It was born of that desperation
which makes a man think long and hard before lying down to die.
It was thus he reasoned: If these animals are permitted to eat their
fill whenever their appetites demand, they will be quite willing to stay
where they are, especially when they find themselves surrounded by such
excellent pastures, and, in addition thereto, quite relieved from all
toil. Let them, however, feel the pangs of hunger, or better yet,
starvation’s tooth at their vitals and their thoughts will at once
revert to their homes, their masters, their feeding-troughs and they
will lose no time in setting out for the village where they belong. With
the energy of despair, my father hurriedly bound a piece of canvass over
their mouths so that they could neither graze nor drink and awaited the
results of his experiment, with bated breath, for the tears and groans
of my poor mother, whose strength was fast ebbing away, smote him to the
very soul.
After a few hours the animals rose to their feet and became very
restive, and in another hour their hunger had so increased that they
were making frantic efforts to feed, as my father could easily tell from
the jerking of the line which he had been careful to attach to their
headstalls.
After the fourth hour there was a long silence, during which the animals
seemed to be deliberating as to what course they should pursue.
The fifth hour came.
My mother had sunk to rest, weak and weary, in my father’s arms.
Suddenly there was a tightening of the guiding lines. Gently my father
aroused his sleeping mate, whispering a few words of comfort.
Again the lines tightened.
My parents were now on their feet, peering into the depths of the
impenetrable fog which shrouded them about and made them even invisible
to each other.
Hist! the animals move again! with a sudden impulse, as if their minds
had at last solved the problem which had been bewildering them for
several hours, the beasts, with violent snortings turned from the spot,
pushing through the shrubbery and causing my parents to face quite
about.
Evidently there was a complete accord between the conclusions reached by
their intelligence or instinct, for not once did they pull apart or come
to a halt, except when restrained by my father. And thus my dear parents
were saved! All that day and part of the next did they pursue their
dreary way. The fog at last lifted, and it was at once apparent to my
father that, although the animals were guiding them towards human
habitations, yet it was not the land he had quitted upon starting out
upon the journey to the mountain peak. The path now became so plainly
visible that my father removed the improvised muzzles from the two
animals and allowed them to satisfy their hunger, which they proceeded
to do with the keenest relish. So worn out was my mother that she sank
helpless to the ground. Refreshing her with a draught of spring-water
and the juice of some wild grapes, my father hastily prepared a bed of
soft foliage, upon which they were both glad to throw themselves after
their long and weary tramp.
They had soon fallen into a deep and most delightful sleep. How long
they lay on their leafy bed, wrapt in their refreshing slumber, they
knew not.
It certainly was for many a long hour; for when they awoke, hunger was
gnawing at their stomachs. Fain would they have at once proceeded to
gather fruit, had not their ears been suddenly saluted with most
extraordinary noises. They rubbed their eyes and looked about and at
each other, deeming themselves the sport of some merry jack-a-dreamer.
But, no; they were wide awake and in full possession of their senses.
Again the strange sounds are heard and this time they are nearer and
clearer.
There is a rise and a fall, a swelling out and then a dying away.
The sounds are jerky and snappy like and there is a singular music in
them.
Nearer and still nearer they come. Louder and still louder they grow.
“Wild beasts?” whispered my mother half inquiringly.
“Nay!” falls from my father’s lips. “Not unless human beings may be so
wild as to merit the name of beasts.”
“Hark again!” murmured my mother.
There was no mistaking the sounds any longer, for, like a chorus of many
voices, shrill and piping, deep and grumbling, soft and musical, harsh
and guttural, yet all in a sort of rude and wild harmony, mingling in
one mighty strain, now low and scarcely audible and now breaking out
with a fierce and seemingly threatening vigor, the singers, chanters,
howlers or what they might be, rushed into the valley below us in a wild
and yet half regulated disorder.
They were human beings in savage garb, with painted faces and clubs
swung lightly across their shoulders. Whether pausing or advancing they
still kept up their wild and mysterious chant, choppy, jerky and snappy
for all the world like a thousand people who had just drawn plentifully
from a thousand snuff boxes.
“Save me, husband!” cried my mother with pallid face. “We shall be put
to some awful torture by these wild children of the forest.” A smile so
gentle, and yet so calm, that it could not fail to be reassuring spread
over my father’s features.
“Never fear!” said he, “I know them, I’ve been seeking them! What has
been denied many a traveler stronger and bolder than I, has been
accorded to a member of the Trump family in the most miraculous manner.
When we return to Europe every Monarch, every learned society, will
hasten to bind a medal on my breast, for, dear wife, your husband is the
first white man to enter the land of the—”
“The—?” echoed my mother leaning forward and grasping her husband’s arm.
“Melodious Sneezers!”
“Melodious Sneezers?” repeated my mother with wide-opened eye, and
amusement seated in every feature.
“Melo—”
But she could get no further. To my father’s infinite amusement, she
fell a-sneezing most violently. In such rapid succession did the sneezes
flow that it sounded exactly like a diminutive engine under full
headway.
At last the fit seemed to have passed. “Melo—” but in vain; she could
not reach the second syllable.
And now, in his turn, my father started off, slow at first but going
faster and faster.
Strange to say their sneezing soon began to catch the ways of the
country and blended thoroughly, keeping time in spite of their efforts
to check it.
“Know then, dear wife,” cried my father pantingly when his fit was over,
“that those strange people stretched on the greensward below are the
“Melodious Sneezers;” that they are not only perfectly harmless, but
gentle, kind and peaceable to an astonishing degree. Fear them not!
Their clubs are only for game.” “But why—?” asked my mother warily lest
another fit should take her.
“I understand thee,” was the reply. “Listen. Know, that in this valley
and in the greater ones below, the air is always filled with myriads
upon myriads of insects of infinitesimal size; only the strongest
microscope can give proof to your sight of their actual existence. For
countless generations, these peaceable barbarians here have been
subjected to the tickling sensations which you and I have—”
Again my poor parent fell a-sneezing in regular and musical cadences, up
and down, deep and shrill, now fast and faster, now slow and slower
until silence reigned again.
“Just experienced,” resumed my father, “until it has rendered the effort
of sneezing quite as easy as breathing, and taking advantage of results
which they soon discerned could not be avoided, these children of nature
were not slow to lay aside their usual speech and literally talk by
sneezes!”
“With them, a sneeze is capable of so many intonations, so many
inflections, that they find no difficulty in expressing all the
necessary feelings and sensations,—at least necessary for them in their
simple lives, as you shall see later on.”
Fain would my poor mother here express her passing wonder but she dare
not open her mouth. “Come, dearest mate,” cried my father gayly.
“Courage! Let us descend into this beautiful valley, for as yet we are
only standing upon the borders of the “Land of the Melodious Sneezers”
called in their soft and musical tongue Lâ-aah-chew-lâ.”
The pronunciation of this word again threw my poor parents into a
perfect whirlwind of sneezes; but nothing daunted, they advanced to meet
the natives, who at first sight fell prostrate on their faces and for
several moments kept up a low plaintive hum of sneezes, with their noses
thrust into the grass.
By degrees however, my father succeeding in convincing them that he was
quite as peaceably inclined as they were.
Whereupon the Melodious Sneezers performed a most singular and withal
pleasing dance of joy, their feet keeping perfect time with their chorus
of sneezing.
As my father afterwards learned, the dance was to express their intense
gratitude to the “white spirits” for not having eaten them alive.
The march homeward was now entered upon, my father walking hand in hand
with the King Chew-chew-lô, and my mother escorted by a score or more of
his wives, the favorite of the royal house being named Chew-lâ-â-â-â-â
and each successive one according as she occupied a less lofty place in
the King’s affections having a shorter name until at last Chew-lâ
signified little better than a mere serving maid.
My father found that the villages of the Melodious Sneezers, on account
of the frequency and the violence of inundations from the network of
rivers which completely shut in their land, consisted of houses or
habitations built in the trees or upon lofty piles.
He and my mother were lodged in one of the most commodious of the royal
dwellings and so many slaves and attendants were assigned to care for
their wants that there was little or no room to move about.
To their great sorrow, my father proceeded to dismiss several hundred in
order that he might get close enough to my mother to converse without
holloaing and then sent word to King Chew-chew-lô that both he and my
mother would need at least a week of perfect rest and quiet to regain
their health and strength after their terrible sufferings on the slopes
of the Mountains of the Moon.