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WHAT EVERY MOTHER SHOULD KNOW
MARGARET H. SANGER
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WHAT EVERY MOTHER SHOULD KNOW
OR
HOW SIX LITTLE CHILDREN WERE TAUGHT THE TRUTH
BY
MARGARET H. SANGER
THE RABELAIS PRESS
27–29 New Bowery, New York
1914
[Illustration:
44R
_Pinski-Massel Press_
]
_To Stuart, my first born, whose first heart throb led me into the
joyous complexities of motherhood._
Dedicated January, 1911.
PREFACE.
The following articles were put into story form for the mother so as to
enable her to make the truth and facts just as interesting to a child’s
imagination as possible.
The idea is that the child be taught the process of reproduction and
absorb such knowledge without realizing he has received any “sex”
instruction.
M. H. S.
CONTENTS
PREFACE.
INTRODUCTION.
Chapter I. Mr. and Mrs. Buttercup, Their Home and Families.
Chapter II. The Flowers.
Chapter III. The Toads and Frogs.
Chapter IV. The Birds and Their Families.
Chapter V. The Birds and Their Families.
Chapter VI. The Mammals and Their Children.
Chapter VII. Man’s Development.
Chapter VIII. Conclusion.
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INTRODUCTION.
There is scarcely any subject which is of greater importance or of
greater interest to parents than this subject of teaching children the
truth about life and birth.
Every parent knows that at one day their little boy or girl will have
matured into the possessor of the powers of procreation, yet they fail
to teach the child how to care for, or how to regard these powers they
possess.
Biologically speaking, these creative powers are the most important
functions of the body, but they are the only functions of the human body
which are utterly ignored by both parents and teachers.
In order to perpetuate the species, nature has endowed all animals with
sexual instinct, and man is the only animal who is ashamed of this
instinct. Man is the only animal who voluntarily limits his offspring,
though he continues in his sexual relation. Man, and man alone, is the
only animal who is subject to disease directly inimical to the integrity
of the organs of reproduction.
So, with this last assertion before our eyes, we parents cannot help but
see that the danger signal is out. It is there and shows itself in the
death list, in statistics, in the hospitals, where thousands of innocent
girls and women are being operated upon. In fact, the danger signal is
everywhere about us, if we could but understand what it really is.
In the public schools all over this country there is a general cry for
help. Teachers are calling out for assistance to help them check the
degrading and immoral atmosphere which is pervading the school rooms
today. The words and language of the children (of all ages) found
whispering together, the writings in the notes and on the walls of the
buildings, all tend to show childrens’ thoughts. And in these actions
the teacher sees the danger signal. She realizes this is the first awful
step, and not knowing how to cope with these conditions, she calls for
help.
The time comes to every mother when she first hears her child say: “When
I get big and have a little girl I’ll, etc.”—showing that the natural
average child takes it as a matter of course that at some future time he
or she will have children, too. Shortly after this, questions are likely
to begin, as when the parents speak of things they did, or places they
went to either before marriage or early after, and the child asks:
“What did I do, father?” “Was I there, too, mother?”
Then begins the mystery. And the lies told by the parents in answer to
these simple questions are shameful to hear. Father and mother smile
slyly at each other and reply:
“Oh, no, dearie, you were not there.”
“Where was I, then?” the child insists.
Another sly look passes between the parents and the lies begin.
“You were in heaven,” or “among the flowers, etc.”
“How did I get HERE, then?” continues the small questioner, who is in
quest of information concerning THE most important subject in the child
world, the “I.”
Then of course, the reply comes that the stork or the angels, or oftimes
the doctor brought him. However, any answer will do which will delude
the child’s mind and keep him, as the parents say, “innocent.”
Now let us see what happens. This little child is beginning to think. He
has received brand new information, something fully as wonderful and
mysterious as Santa Claus, and he loves to think about it and talk about
it, too.
He goes again to mother (father is not always around) and besieges her
with questions, and she all in ignorance of the harm she is doing him,
becomes so entangled in this mesh of lies that she becomes cross, or
impatient, and stops his eager questions by sending him out to play to
divert his attention to some other subject. But his attention is not
long diverted before he returns to this subject, and if his walk is
taken with an aunt or nurse he continues to ask questions, and to his
even greater surprise, the aunt or nurse, not knowing what the parent
has told him, tells him what she thinks. This will very likely be an
entirely different story from that his parents told him, and so he
begins to realize that there is some secrecy, which no one will explain,
and he becomes determined to find out the meaning of it all.
By the time this little fellow is one year in school he knows all about
who brought him from “heaven” and how the stork came, etc. He may have
been most carefully reared in the little things which help to make him
thoughtful and considerate of others; he may have been trained in every
way to make him upright, honest and truthful, but the vile words with
which this information thus received by him is clothed, the base and
foul idea of love and marriage, the distorted view of the creative power
which he receives, cannot help but stunt and deform his mind and leave
his conception of the beauty of birth and love forever scarred.
If, on the other hand, the child had been told the truth by his parents
and had the reasons explained to him for not talking to other children
on this subject; if he had had impressed on him what a trust was his and
how beautiful a gift to take care of, he would have been satisfied and
his curiosity would have ceased.
There are excellent parents who pride themselves and boast of never
promising their child anything from a toy to a spanking without keeping
the promise, but who find themselves most embarrassed and confused when
it comes to speaking about the facts of birth.
This attitude of mind comes from several reasons. One is that there are
parents, good, faithful and loving, who do not know the dangers and
results of street instruction, who think they are keeping the child
“pure and innocent” and prefer to give the child the impression of
“spiritual” birth, as implied in the answer “The angels brought you from
heaven.”
Again, there are parents who know the value of home instruction, but
know not how to tell them, and it is for these mothers that the
following articles are written.
The best method is to begin to teach the little child when it is very
young. At 4 years of age the first lessons of the flowers could be
begun. Keep it up. Then a little later, say six months, teach about the
fish or frogs. Then the next year the life of the birds should be
taught, and by the sixth year the child will be ready for the mammals
and humans. In case he asks questions before he has learned of the
mammals, refer him back to the flowers and you will find an answer.
Most children are safe from being polluted in thought after the study of
the flowers, but as the child’s mind keeps growing and developing, his
questions in order to be answered truthfully demand that he be taught
the higher stages of development.
Mothers, keep in mind, the beauty and wonder of it all, and as you
proceed in the study of the mechanism of the reproductive organs of
human beings you cannot but impress upon the child the beauty and wonder
of love. Help the child to realize the sacred trust of his organs, the
danger in misusing them. Help him to realize the physical and moral
development which awaits him in parenthood, but above all keep him close
to you in confidence _through the truth_.
My object is to help all mothers who wish to give their children the
right conception of the beautiful truths of reproduction, and we shall
begin our first lessons “The Flowers—Mr. and Mrs. Buttercup, their home
and their family.”
CHAPTER I.
_Mr. and Mrs. Buttercup, Their Home and Families._
Little 5-year-old Bobby sat playing in the sand pile one lovely
afternoon in May, and, judging by the glimpses his mother had of him
through the open door of their cottage, his mind was to all appearances
intent on making a sand fish perfect. For in and out the damp sand was
thrown from the pile to the fish mold many times, until at last being
perfect, at least to his satisfaction, he got up and ran to find his
mother, who was busy within the small two-room shack where they were
living for the summer.
He caught hold of her apron to attract her attention, and said: “Mother,
where did I come from?”
Needless to say, his mother was greatly surprised at this question, just
at that time, for she had not the faintest idea that his thoughts were
on anything but the perfection of that sand fish. However, she quickly
recovered from her surprise and taking his little face between her
hands, said:
“Bobby, dear, that is the most wonderful secret in all the world, and if
you are quite sure you can keep this secret and only talk about it to
father and mother, I’ll tell you all about it.”
The curly head bobbed up and down in answer to this and as his eyes grew
big and bright, he answered:
“Do tell me the secret mother, I’ll never tell.”
Then she said: “Let me ask you a question, dear. Do you know where the
baby flowers come from? Or the baby birds or chickens or all the baby
creatures in the world?”
“No, no,” he answered simply, but excitedly.
Then she told him that as soon as the dishes were put away, she would
take him for a walk in the woods where the baby flowers come from, where
the mother kept them when they were baby seeds and also tell him how the
father and mother flower gave life to the little baby seeds, which
afterward grew into the lovely flowers we see all about us. She would
show him that he was once a little seed like the flower seed and kept in
a soft little nest in the same way.
Bobby’s mother now regretted that she had not begun earlier to tell this
story of the flower to Bobby. For she realized that had she done this
then, now when he had reached the stage of development where he was
curious about his own being, she could at once have taken up the story
of his own creation, and, of course, referred back to the story of the
creation of the lower species. This would have simplified matters
greatly. However, she decided it could never be too late and the easiest
and quickest way even now, was to begin with the flowers.
It now occurred to Bobby’s mother that to teach her child alone the
truths of Nature would be a most fruitless task; for in playing with his
companions, they would undo all her work unless they, too, were taught
the truths, and in the same way.
She consequently set about gathering in the children of the neighborhood
with whom Bobby played. She explained to the mothers what she was about
to do. Most of them strongly objected to their boys learning these
things which they considered of interest only to grown-ups. But five of
the mothers consented, and seemed delighted to have their children
taught the truths in this most beautiful and interesting manner.
Accordingly, she took five little children, together with her own,
ranging in ages from five to six and one-half years, and started in the
woods to hunt for the common wild flowers. Soon they were scrambling
over boulders and fallen trees in search of mountain pinks, violets,
buttercups, anemones, etc., calling and shouting to each other at each
new find, their faces bright and happy with the glow of health. It was a
picture never to be forgotten; and as they gathered around Bobby’s
mother, who was seated on a moss covered, fallen tree, they received
their first lesson.
As the buttercup was a little early—those on this particular outing
being the first ones found of the season—they naturally made it the most
popular flower; and so it became logically the first family to be
studied.
They were told that the whole buttercup, as they held it, was the
Buttercup House, whose color was yellow, and that inside the house,
within the petals, was the Buttercup Family.
“Is there a father?” asked one; “and a mother?” asked another.
“Yes, indeed; there must be a father and mother if there are to be any
seeds,” was the reply.
Then they were told that all forms of plant life have but one object and
that object is to reproduce their kind—“to make more flowers.”
They were told that the flowers have reproductive organs—“parts that
make more flowers”—called pistils and stamens.
[Illustration: _A complete flower: st, stamen; pi, pistil; pe, petal; s,
sepal; ca, calyx; c, sorolia. After Bergen._]
[Illustration: _Pistil. sti, stigma; sty, style; ov, ovule. After
Bergen._]
The pistils were called the “mothers” because at the bottom of the thin
tube are the ovules or seeds. The pistils were examined carefully and
the very top or stigma was found to be very sticky. “Why?” asked the
children. But they were told they must wait and find out about the
father before they found out why this part of the mother was sticky.
Now attention was again called to the seeds lying within the pistil of
mother, and the fact that they were not developed yet. “Why?” Again we
must wait to learn something about the father.
Now we come to the stamen, or “father.” This is a slender thread-like
fibre which has at its ends a little case or sac which contains a very
fine powder-like substance, called the pollen.
In most of the flowers there are several stamens and one pistil; but in
the buttercup there were several of each—so that the Buttercup House
contained several families, the children were told.
Now to come back to the fathers, or stamens, and the tiny sacs
containing the pollen. This pollen is a very important part of the
growing of all flowers. The children were asked to name some of the
flowers which they knew that had this powder on them. Answer came in the
name of golden rod, wild rose, cherry blossom and many others.
Now it was explained that this pollen from the stamen, or father, must
get into the pistil or mother, and reach the ovules or seeds, or the
seeds cannot grow and develop into new plants. This union of the pollen
with the ovules we called “mating” or “to mate.” And as this process of
developing the seeds is the one object of plant life, we shall see how
they go about accomplishing this object.