_The Drugster having failed in_ London, _goes to live in the Country;
where by counterfeiting a sickness, and making a Will, he gets into
Credit, and borrowing Money falls again to Trading._
This Misfortune of my Imprisonment did sensibly afflict me; especially,
when I understood that instead of loss, I might have gained by holding
to my bargain; but it now being past, could not be helpt. I was reduced
to such necessity, that not onely all my Money, but my Plate and best
Goods were sold; and not onely my Wife, but my Whore parted from their
Rings and Jewels to redeem me: for when I was in prison, every body that
I owed money to, though never so little, came upon me; and though I came
off with my great Action easily enough, yet many other little ones stuck
close to me, which I was forced to discharge. I had now time enough to
consider my forepassed Actions, and to examine my self what I had done
to deserve this affliction; I bethought me of the trick I first served
my Mistresses Sister, in cheating her of her Money and Virginity; but
that stuck not much upon me, because I thought her to be justly enough
fitted for delaying me, distrusting me, and other bad practices I knew
her guilty of; but when I considered the wrong I had lately done the two
brothers, in first raising a difference, and then continuing it between
them, and not onely prosecuting the elder brother so highly my self, but
putting another of my acquaintance (to whom I knew he was indebted) upon
him to sue and arrest him, with all the disgrace that I could, by
causing it to be done on a Sunday as he went to Church, I my self
attending: This consideration possessed me with an opinion that this
Judgement was justly fallen upon me for this cause, I being rightly
enough fitted, being likewise my self arrested on a Sunday, as I was
going to Church: but now being discharged of my Imprisonment, I
bethought me what course I was to take, and resolved, that since I had
suffered disgrace in the City, it were best for me to remove into the
Country, where I was not known; therefore I soon took a house of
considerable value, and putting my self in a very good Habit, and in
equipage every ways suitable, I and my Wife, with most of my family
removed from my _London_ to my Country-house; I soon got my self
acquainted with the best and wealthiest people of the place, and gave
them very handsome treats and entertainments at my house, which they
answered me with the like civility.
Though I had been a Prisoner, yet I had play’d my Cards so well in
paying my small debts, and told my tale so advantagiously about my great
Action, that I had preserved a sufficient credit with some of my
Dealers; so that making up about fifty pound out of my Wives and Wenches
Rings, Jewels, and some Plate, I was entrusted with 100_l._ worth of
Commodities, with which I set up another Trade in the Country: this
turned to good account: for I seldom ventured on any thing, but it was
effectual and to purpose; and if I would wholly have bent my minde to
get Money, I might have had a good estate; but I affected pleasure equal
to, and above profit; and though I was thus low in the World, yet I
still kept my Wench, whom I had now quartered in the mid-way between my
_London_ and Country-house, and therefore could lye with her
commodiously enough, and tell my wife, if at my Country, that I lay at
the _London_ house; and so on the contrary.
As I thus enjoyed my pleasure, so I now began to be more wary, and look
after profit, which I did to good purpose; but I now wanted a
Father-in-Law who was a moneyed man, or some other friend who would
furnish me with money; and if I could but have produced three or four
hundred pounds in ready money, I questioned not but to make
extraordinary advantage; for this end I thought on several ways, and at
length did hit upon one that did my business. I travelling in the
Winter, took an extraordinary cold that forced me to keep my bed for
some days, and indeed I did so longer then I needed; for I counterfeited
an extraordinary sickness, and that I was much troubled with the Stone
and Collick; and so desperate ill I pretended my self to be, that my
Wife lamenting, and my Children and Family being in much disorder, I was
perswaded to make my Will: to this I consented; and the Scrivener of the
Town was sent for; I then told him, that by reason of my Childrens
childhood, and my Wives incapacity to manage affairs, I was in a great
strait how to dispose of my Estate, which though it was considerable
enough, yet if it were not well managed, would soon come to nothing; I
now being in a strange Town, distant from _London_, where my
acquaintance lived, I knew not well what person to intrust as Executor,
unless, said I, Mr. _B._ of this Town would do me the kindness to take
that trouble on him, which I would willingly requite by a sufficient
Legacy, and my Wife and Children would be bound to pray for him. Sir,
said the Scrivener, I question not but he will do it; and if you please,
I will not onely ask him, but perswade him thereto. I thank you kindly,
said I, and for this offer of your friendship, I shall give you a Legacy
as a Remembrance of me; and therefore, I pray, take notice of the heads
of my Will, and then go with it to Master B. and shewing it to him, make
this request to him in my behalf: whereupon the Scrivener began, and I
dictated to him, what, and to whom I would give; which was 1000_l._ to
my Wife, 300 a piece to my Children, and several other Legacies,
amounting in all to near 3000_l._ and 100_l._ I gave to my intended
Executor, and 10_l._ to the Scrivener.
This affair being thus ordered, the Scrivener departed, and went to
Master _B._ my intended Executor, who being a well-monyed man, and
withal very covetous, was very glad of the matter, and willingly
accepted of the offer, and within few hours came to me, and told me he
was very sorry for my sickness, and wished my recovery; but if he could
do me any service living, or to my Wife and Children if I should die,
which he hoped would not happen, he should be ready and willing both in
purse and person to assist me. I then told him what I had done as to my
Will, and withal caused my Account-books to be produced, where I shewed
and demonstrated how my Estate stood, and in whose hands it was (having
prepared false Accompts for that purpose:) he seeing the matter so
plain, and hoping to get a fleece out of my Estate, caused the Scrivener
to proceed and finish the Will, which I sealed; but during his stay with
me at that time, and some other times when he visited me, I so
counterfeited faintings and pain, that he and all others neer me, did
fully conclude, I was no man for this World.
After I had managed this affair to the height, I soon recovered, and had
now not only gained this old penny-father to be my friend, but by his
and the Scriveners reports of my Estate, had many others, who more then
ordinarily respected me, and made me tenders of their service: all which
I thankfully refused at present, as not having any need. Soon after
this, I hearkned out a place, for which I was to give 1000_l._ and it
being a good penny-worth, I engaged in it: I made a shift to raise two
hundred pound of my own moneys, and that was all I was then able to do;
but pretending I had of my own five hundred pound in money, I soon
perswaded my intended Executor to furnish me with five hundred pound
more; and so paying seven hundred pound to my Chapman, he took my word
for three hundred pound more. This place put me in very great credit;
and now, as well my _London_ as my Country-acquaintance looked on me
with respect, supposing all to be true that had been discoursed of me. I
did not long keep this place, but sold it for an 100_l._ profit, and so
became Master of more ready money then ever, with which I again came to
_London_, wholly leaving my Country-house, and paying my Country
Penny-father part of his moneys: and with that little of my own, and the
rest that was left, and what I had gained, I took a house and Shop in
the place where I now live, and drive a Trade equal to the best of my
Neighbours; onely I have had some dealings of late, which have a little
puzzled me, as I lately told you, when I had my trial; but he that
slander’d me paying so dear as 200_l._ damages, will not onely himself
beware, but alwaies teach others to hold their peace.
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