OF
_Most Trades and Professions_.
Read, _but do'nt_ Practice: _for the Author findes_,
_They which live Honest have most quiet mindes_.
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The Second Part.
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Licensed _Feb. 22. 1668_.
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_London_, Printed for _Francis Kirkman_, and are to be
sold at his Shop over against the Custome-House,
in _Thames-Street_, 1671.
The Epistle
DEDICATORY
TO THE
BOOK-SELLERS
OF
LONDON.
Gentlemen,
_It hath been one of the greatest Errors in most Authors to think by
their high Dedications to advance their Books, when as on the contrary,
I have known some of the better sort of Books (though Dedicated to
Worshipful, Honorable, Illustrious, and Reverend Patrons; nay and
sometimes to Majesty it self) instead of being preferred in Book-sellers
shops (and according to their merit bound in Turky or Murrey Leather
gilt, and richly adorned) only to be found in loose sheets at Cooks and
Tobacco-shops, disposed under greasie Pies, to stop Mustard-pots, and to
wrap up Mundungoes Tobacco, or at best (after more cost than was
intended by the Author in damasking and figuring it) used in Truncks and
Hat-cases: and all this hath happened because there was not a fit choice
of a power full Book-seller, which out of profit and interest might
prefer and advance the same._
_Now that I might not run into the same Error, and have the like
misfortune, being very well acquainted how much prejudice or profit I
may receive in your stifling and slighting, or preferring and advancing
this Piece, and I (being desirous that it should sell, for to that end
in part was it written and Printed) therefore make choice of you for my
Patrons and Protectors._
_Gentlemen, I hope what hath been particularly written in this Book of
your Trade, will not be offensive to you in general, neither that any
particular Person will be offended, unless such as are guilty; and for
their sakes it was written, that they may see their vicious enormities,
and amend them._
_Though all these misdemeanors are charged upon the score of one man, as
being acted by one; yet i’le assure you I know not any one person guilty
of all, though it is possible that they are all true, or else our_
Extravagant _(who recounts his story) gives misinformation: and I for my
own part have so much Charity to believe, that there are several of your
Trade honest-men, and not at all guilty of any thing here Charged on
our_ Extravagants _Master: To those I suppose, I rather do a kindness
than a prejudice in unfolding the Mysterious Knaveries of the Trade, and
in requital I hope they will be my Protectors, in preferring this Piece,
not only to their Customers in_ London, _but to their Chapmen in the
Countrey, and thereby save me the trouble of it: And as for those who
being conscious of their own guilt, are offended with what is here
written, and out of revenge will refuse to protect or sell this Piece, I
am well enough satisfied, and by their refusal or slighting, both I and
the Book-buyer shall by their anger conclude their guilt._
_And Gentlemen, it is very well known to you, that the first part of
this book hath (notwithstanding many oppositions) done its business,
being generally liked and approved of; and I am told (by the ingenious)
that this will not come short of the former in pleasure, and exceed it
in profit: and therefore I doubt not of the sale, and I hope it will be
so far from staining your Reputations, that on the contrary, you may
reap credit; besides, as you may gain credit, so you will have profit by
the sale, and that I know will be a very great inducement to you._
_For both which causes I hope you will not refuse me your assistance,
which I know may be powerful; and I shall for the future discourse your
civilities, and at present subscribe myself_
Your friend and Servant,
_Fra. Kirkman_.
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_The Preface to the Reader._
_GENTLEMEN_,
The First Part of this Book being so generally well received, I was
induced to procure it to be prosecuted in a second; and to that end I
often solicited the Author to proceed according to his promise; but he
was deterred for several reasons, the most prevalent whereof he told me
was this, That he had reaped a great deal of ignominy by writing of
that; for many people were so ignorant, as to believe that it was a true
and exact account of the Authors life; especially after they had upon
acquaintance or inquiry found that he was indeed guilty of some petty
waggeries which are therein recited; and therefore concluding him guilty
of the whole, lookt on him as a dangerous person, and shunned and
avoided his company, lest they should be damaged thereby, or at
leastwise scandalized; others gazing on him at a distance with the eyes
of wonder.
Now let me tell you that though I was wholly a stranger to the Author,
when he writ that Book, yet I have been since so well acquainted with
him, that I can directly clear him from the guilt of most of those
enormities contained therein. For in the first place, it is sufficiently
known to me, and many persons more, that he was never upon the Padd: for
I am confident he was never guilty of so base a valour, as either to Rob
a house, or bid a man stand on the Road. Next as to the Cheats,
especially those in Gaming; though he professes so much knowledge
therein, in his Book; yet I am sure of this, (let him be never so well
acquainted in the Theory) that he is ignorant in the practical part
thereof, having been the cheated, not the Cheater, of a good round sum
of mony, which he lost at Dice in my presence, and to my prejudice; and
I believe, that although (what he did write in the first part of the
Book, _Chapter_ 25. about his loss at Dice;) that might be in jest, yet
now he might say in earnest. The Lines are these,
_I thought my self secure, for I could top,
By which I've forc’d some Citt’s to leave their shop.
I palm’d, and put the change upon them too,
I only studied how I might undo.
But now I'm met with, 'tis but just I see,
That he which others cheats should cheated be._
He being clear of these two crimes, Thieving and Cheating (which are the
most Capital,) I know not why he should be avoided for any other, though
we suppose him guilty of many female frauds, his inclination leading him
to be a lover (though Mercurial and unconstant) of the Female sex; with
whom I suppose he may have acted some of the adventures by him recited,
and those passages, with what others he thought or heard of: and whereof
many persons in this our age are guilty, he having methodiz’d, is the
main part of his Book; and the intent of his writing, it was to shew the
deformity of vice, that every one might shun it. The two lines which he
placed on the Title page of many of his Books, sufficiently
demonstrating the Authors intent. The words are these,
_Read, but don't practice: since the Author finds
They which live honest, have most quiet minds._
Thus, although the intent of his writing was good, and the effects
proved answerable in the sale of the Book, yet could I not procure him
to proceed, though I offered him my assistance, in acquainting him with
my experience; but all would not do: Wherefore I applyed my self to
another, a brother of the same trade; a professed Author, and one who
hath been happy enough in the sale of many of his writings; him I
courted into a complyance with my desire, and perswaded to begin to
write somewhat to the purpose; I proposing only to him to give an
account of the knavery of many trades and professions. I gave him my
best instructions, and laid my ground-work well enough, as I hoped to
have him proceed: But so soon as he knew my intention of making his
writing a part of (by joyning it to) _The Rogue_, with some anger he
left it, and refused to proceed.
He having thus laid down the Cudgels, I then took them up my self, and
those loose scribled papers which I had written for his instruction to
proceed upon, I viewed over, and after some small correction they serve
for the greatest part of this Treatise.
In what I have written; I begin first with my self (as we all ought to
do when we intend to amend,) and give an account of the greatest
_Knaveries_ which I know, or can at present call to mind, there are or
have been committed in two trades; the one a Scrivener, in which I was
bred, and the other a Book-seller, in which I have been now above twelve
years, on and off, a professed Practitioner. When I was a child I was
intended to be a _Church-man_ in profession, as well as name; but the
time proving unhappy, and no encouragement for that profession, and my
Father aiming at some imployment that might be profitable, and knowing
the trade of a Scrivener to be so, was for that cause enduced to place
me with a Master of that quality, (though my inclination led me rather
to the Book-selling Employ.) Being thus placed out, I not only
endeavoured to learn my calling; but also at all spare times plyed my
Book; and though I had a very great employment under my Master, yet I
made a shift not only to read much, and learn the _French_ and other
Languages, but to write somewhat for the Press. And now I am speaking of
my Master (in regard in part of this Book, I give an account of the
_Knaveries_ of the Scriveners trade) it will be convenient to say
somewhat to clear him from any guilt therein, or else it may be supposed
that I mean him: But they that think so are much mistaken, for he then
was, and still is a solid, honest, sober Citizen; and not in the least
as I know of, guilty of any misdemeanour in his practice: and it was my
folly, and not his fault to leave him: for after about five years
service with him, I went to another, and from thence forward it was that
I gained the first experience of the _Knavery_ of that profession; and
since then, not only by keeping company with some of them, but also by
my own experience and practice, (though not as the Cheater, but
_Cheated_,) I can truly write a _Probatum est_ to what I have written of
that Profession, and if occasion were, give a _Clavis_ or _Key_, to
discover most, if not all of those several pieces of _Knavery_ I have
here discoursed of: And thus much for the Scrivener.
And as for the Book-sellers trade, my inclination leading me to it very
much, I did about twelve years ago publickly profess it, in keeping a
Shop, wherein I used as well the Bookselling, as the Scriveners quality;
but having knaves to deal with, of whom I bought some part of my ware, I
soon left off the Bookselling trade, only keeping to the other; in which
I sufficiently profited my self; And I defie all the world to charge me
with any _Knavery_ in the whole course of my practice; which during the
time of great buildings at the East part of _London_, (where I dwelt) I
gained much; but that ceasing, and the tide of employment ebbing at the
East part, I thought it would be convenient to remove West-ward,
especially, his Majesty being then happily and gloriously returned, and
fixed at that end of the Town. And therefore taking a house and shop,
that I might have two strings to my Bow, I again professed both Trades,
of a Scrivener and Bookseller. I now thought my self wise enough to deal
with the Booksellers; but I soon found my self deceived, to my cost, for
I was drawn in by some of that profession to be concern’d in printing of
Play-books; in which, I having skill, and much affection to the matter,
willingly engaged. I, for my part, only printed three, which were my own
proper Copies; and they, (though I dissuaded them there-from) made
choice of the best Playes then extant; though the Copies were other
mens, I thought this criminal, but they made a tush at it.
The owner of the Copies hearing of this wrong done to them, gained a
Warrant to seize them: My Partners secured theirs, and one of them had
so much cunning _Knavery_ as to come to me, and sell me his share, and
within a day or two after delivery, directed the Officers (who had
warrant to seize) to my house, where they at once took from me 1400
Play-books; the value whereof is easily computed to be considerable.
This happening in time of much business (for my Mother was then lately
dead, and my Father dying) I could not look after the recovery of my
books, which I heard were divided, and I never to this day had
satisfaction of one or other. My Father soon after dying, and leaving me
a plentifull estate, I resolved to quit all Trading in general, retire
into the Country, and lead a Contemplative life; (for indeed I never had
a love for any Trade, hating the business in general, and only used them
for a livelyhood). I having thus given out, had several offers from
Book-sellers to buy my books (which were of a considerable value, being
valued at some hundreds of pounds;) He who had so lately Cheated me, did
amongst others desire to havè them, and did ingeniously confess the
trick he had lately put upon me: and this his ingenious confession he
made as an argument for me to trust him with the rest of my Books:
Though I should have made this use of his confession, not to deal with
him further, yet he promising all honesty for the future, I again agreed
to trust him with my whole Stock, and thereby did I agree to cheat my
self; for though it was his fault to cheat me the first time, yet now it
was only mine, to let him do it after so fair a knowledge as he did; for
though he lived some years after that, yet I could never get any
considerable returns for my Stock of Books, and he in the late great
Contagion dying, was considerably indebted to me, and I hoping to get
what he owed me, ventured to possess my self of his Estate, and pay
several Debts which he owed to others: but they proved so many, and his
Estate so small, that I was worse than I was before; and this gave me so
sensible a squeeze that I yet am sensible of.
And this is the only occasion that hath again made me engage my self in
the Book-selling employment: which although I have now used above twelve
years, and in that time laid out several hundreds of pounds in Printing,
yet I was never engaged in printing any Book that was another mans
Propriety, except when I was drawn in by the three Booksellers, and as I
have already told you, and which was so much to my loss: And as for my
Trading in the Scriveners employment, where it is usual for most of that
Trade to keep the best bargains of Lands and Houses for themselves, and
put off the worst to their Customers, I have not done so, but it hath
been my unhappiness to have the worst bargains of houses of any, which I
still keep: and though they did cost me many hundreds of pounds, yet
they are rather a trouble, than any addition to the rest of my estate.
And if I was ever guilty of dealing hardly with, or griping any of my
Clients when I was a publick practitioner, (as I cannot remember any
such action,) I am sure I have been (since I left the publick Profession
of a Scrivener) worse served by some of that quality, with whom I have
had some particular dealing.
I have given you this account of my transactions, to acquaint you how
_Roguishly_ I have been dealt with, and that I am (and must needs be,
out of all these experiences) able to give you a considerable account of
the greatest _Knaveries_ and _Cheats_ of these two Trades. And what hath
cost me so dear, I here (for publick good) present to you for a small
price; for I’le assure you, I have oftentimes had a Fee given me for my
Advice in one of these many Cases were opened by the Scrivener, and that
part of this Book (if well considered and understood) may and will be of
very great use and consequence to any person who hath any converse in
the world. Besides the _Knaveries_ and _Cheats_ of these two Trades, you
have those of several others, as a _Barber-chyrurgeon_, a _Tapster_, a
_Cook_, a _Lock-smith_, _Taylor_, _Baker_, _Plaisterer_, _Drugster_, and
many others; and in pourtraying of them I have not affected words but
matter, I have written as I would have spoken, and as much in little as
possibly I could. Here is that which (I hope) will please all humours,
both the frollick and the serious, nay some of the factious too will buy
this Part as well as the first; and to make that out, I’le tell you a
late, but true story.
The Author of the first Part being with a Friend at an Ale-house,
drinking at a publick fire (there being also at the same time two
Crop-ear’d fellows) he accidentally was talking about the Book, and
relating to his Friend the trouble he under-went at the first publishing
thereof, by reason it was not then licensed. Yes, said his Friend, I
remember that some of the Clergy were very much offended, and you as
well as the Printers, were like to have suffered Imprisonment. Why, what
was the matter; said one of these fellows, what were the Bishops
troubled at it? Yes, said the Author, I was forced to absent my self for
some dayes, till the heat of the matter was over: having said thus, he
left the room at present, and the two men taking the opportunity of his
absence, enquired of his Friend what he was, and what was the reason of
the Bishops anger? To this his Friend replyed, that the Author was a
very honest man, (which they in their terms interpret _Fanatick_) and
that all the reason of the trouble was, because it was not Licensed.
Well, said one of them, can he help me to some of them? Yes, said his
Friend: and by this time the Author being returned, he was acquainted by
his Friend with the request of the two strangers, and they likewise
again desiring of it, he furnished them at present with a dozen, for
which he had a greater price than usual, and then they desired to have
more to give to their friends, thinking to have found some Fanatick
Doctrine: so eager are these sort of people to buy any thing that is
unlicensed, following the Proverb, _that stolen meat is sweetest_: But I
believe they were not very well pleased when they, or their Fanatick
brethren (to whom they presented them) had perused them: but it is
possible that (though they were mistaken in the main) yet they might be
well enough pleased in the private reading, and that as in a
Looking-glass they might see some of those crimes lively represented,
whereof they had been guilty.
Thus I say this Book hath been bought up by all sorts of people, and I
my self at the first publishing the first Part, presented one of them to
an Acquaintance of mine, who (I believe) had been knavish enough, and a
Preacher of several perswasions, he read it over, and at my next sight
of him I asked him his opinion of it? Truly, said he, there are many
various Cheats and Rogueries, but if the Author had my experience and
practice, he might write a Book ten times bigger, and more full of brave
Cheats, and considerable Rogueries, things worth attempting, whereas
these are but foolish and idle, and for the most part unprofitable. I
who was partly acquainted with many passages of his life, knew he spake
true then, and have here in this second Part had a touch at him, but far
short of what I know of him, it not being convenient to tell truth at
all times. I have likewise met with several other adventurers and
transactions in the world, where I (through the frankness and easiness
of my nature) have still come off the abused party; part of which I have
here sprinkled up and down, and the rest I reserve till more time and
conveniency to publish among other things in a third Part. And this Book
though (by reason of the extraordinariness of some passages) it may seem
a Romance, yet I’le assure ye there is nothing but the truth, naked as
she ought to be, in plain colours; for like the first Draught of a
Painter, I have only laid on the dead colours without any flourishes,
varnishes, or adornments; and though that be the first, yet it is
commonly the greatest piece of Art, and seldom mended or altered, but
spoiled: and so in my writing of this, I have not varied in any thing
from my first thoughts, which have been swift and full of matter, and
therefore need not in so plain a case any embellishments, so that here
you shall hardly meet with a piece of Poetry, and that which is, is just
to the matter, not sorted or strained, but natural and free; neither
have I borrowed any Sentences out of any Authors, to embellish and add
lustre to my writing: what I have done, (and that is but little) I will
tell you of.
And now I have told you in general what you are to expect, I will
likewise give you a short account of my particular method, and so
conclude. First, the Author of the first Part having left his _Rogue_ a
married man, and an Inhabitant in the _East-Indies_, I was obliged to
lay my Scene there, and go thither to find him, where I give an account
not only of his manner of living, and how he spent his time there, but
also of the Government, Manners, and Customs, both Ecclesiastical and
Civil of the Countrey; and I have spent one whole long Chapter in
acquainting you with their Religion, which though it may seem strange
and extravagant, yet it is no more than the truth, as I can prove from
good Authors from whence I had it. I likewise cause our _Rogue_ to sum
up his fore-passed life, with some small reflections, and I bring into
his company four male, and two female Companions, as good Boys and Girls
as ever twang’d. They coming from _England_ only on a Ramble, are
thought very fit Companions, and the lives of these travellers are
related to our _Rogue_ by one of the Company. This relation is full of
variety, and though long, yet (I hope) will not be thought tedious nor
improper: for the length I must crave pardon, for I could not well avoid
it, and I was forced (though improperly enough) to make breaks to divide
it into Chapters.
I have not only taken pains in describing the Laws, Manners, and Customs
of the Natives with my Pen, but for your greater pleasure and
satisfaction, the Graver hath been at work to present you the Figure of
them, the most lively I could contrive in so narrow a compass. You have
likewise another Figure of all our Lads and Lasses together in one of
their Tavern Frolicks.
I have had so much work to do in bringing these Companions to our
_Rogue_ in the _Indies_, and relating what they are (in which I have
spent much oyl and labour) that I cannot this bout, bring him over to
_England_ as is expected; but I’le allure you (if you accept this, as I
question not) that I shall hereafter attend him through other Countries,
and with a great Train of Attendants or Companions bring him again to
his native Countrey of _Ireland_, and so to _England_, where he and his
Company may do such acts as shall raise wonder in the Readers. But let
this suffice at present.
And now I have almost done with the Preface, which though it be long,
yet I like it better to have it so, than to fill up a Sheet or two of
Paper with _Commendatory Verses_, which some Authors covet, and are very
proud of, and rather than go without, will write themselves: This I
could have done or procured, but esteeming all that can be written in
that nature to be nothing, unless the reader approves the Book, who is
now so wise as not to trust to another mans judgment, I therefore
declined that, and I hope when the Preface is read over, it will not be
thought wholly impertinent; for I have therein laid down some reasons
for this my manner of writing. But some ignorant Readers commonly skip
over the Preface, running greedily to the matter, and so they will use
me; and having read the Book will say, that I had better have spared my
self the trouble and cost, for here is nothing but what they already are
acquainted with. To you who are so knowing and well experienced, I
answer you with this Request, That you will do as much for publick good,
as I have intended by writing this (and I hope done) and in order
thereunto write and publish your Experiences, and I promise you I’le be
a Customer for one of them, and encourage others to be so; and though it
may not be so well as what I have written, (that is, so full of
profitable Experiences) yet it will be a hard case if there be not
somewhat worth the knowing: If my judgment tells me that it is better,
I’le acknowledge it, and I and the other Readers shall be the more
obliged to you for your pains; and I had rather gain experience and
knowledge thus by reading then dealing with some of you, and be
out-witted and snapt. Though it is true, that that wit is best that is
bought, yet I know a man may pay too dear for it, (as hitherto I have
done) and therefore, and to the end that other men may learn by my harms
(as the Latine Sentence is, _Felix quem faciunt aliena pericula cautum_,
He is happy that is warn’d by other mens harms) I have written this
which I am sure may be profitable, and I hope not in the least hurtful.
Wherefore Reader, I pray put on Charity for thy Spectacles, and read on.
_Yours_, F. K.
[Illustration]
THE
ENGLISH ROGUE
Continued in the Life of
_MERITON LATROON_,
And other
EXTRAVAGANTS.
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Part II.
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