'I don't know what's happened to me. I don't feel right about things.
I'--he hesitated, glanced up, then down, and his ears reddened--'I've
been going with Martha Caldwell, you know. For a long time.'
Humphrey nodded.
'Mondays and Thursdays I go over there, and other times. I don't seem to
want to go any more. But I get mixed up about it. I--I don't want them
to say I'm fickle. They used to say it.'
'You've evidently got gifts,' observed Humphrey, as if thinking aloud.
'You've got some fire in you. The trouble with you now, of course, is
that you're stale.' Humphrey deliberately considered the situation, then
remarked: 'You asked me if a man can change his nature. I begin to see
now. You've been trying to do that to yourself, for quite a while.'
Henry nodded.
'Well, I suppose you'll find that you can't do it. Not quite that. The
fire that's in you isn't going to stop burning just because you tell it
to.'
'But what's a fellow to do?'
'I don't know. Just stick along, I suppose, gradually build up
experience until you find work you can let yourself go in. Some way, of
course, you've got to let yourself go, sooner or later.'
Henry, his eyes nervously alert now, his slim young body tense, was
drawing jerkily with his fork on the coarse table-cloth.
'Yes,' he broke out, with the huskiness in his voice that came when his
emotions pressed--'yes, but what if you can't let yourself go without
letting everything go? What if the fire bums you!'
Humphrey found it difficult to frame a reply. He got no further, this as
they were leaving the restaurant, than to say, 'Of course, one man can't
advise another.'
5
As they were turning into the _Voice_ office, Henry caught sight of
Mamie Wilcox, in a cheap pink dress and flapping pink-and-white hat,
loitering by the hotel. He fell back behind Humphrey. Mamie beckoned
with her head. He nodded, and entered the office; and she moved slowly
on around the corner of the avenue.
He mumbled a rather unnecessary excuse to Humphrey, and slipped out,
catching up with her on the avenue. She was unpleasantly attractive. She
excited him.
'What is it?' he asked, walking with her. 'Did you want to speak to me?'
'Stuck up, aren't we!'
'Well?'