CHAPTER XXXII

The winter passed and the spring came. The Mill House, even to the most

skeptical observer, showed signs of being a success. Even already a

visible influence had radiated from its shining windows and orderly

yard; and the neighboring houses, with their obvious attempt at

"slickin' up," reminded one of a small boy who has been told to wash his

face, for company was coming. The classes boasted a larger attendance,

and the stomachs and the babies of many a family in the town were

feeling the beneficial results of the lessons.

To Margaret, however, the whole thing seemed hopelessly small: there was

so much to do, so little done! She was still the little girl with the

teaspoon and the bowl of sand; and the chasm yawned as wide as ever. To

tell the truth, Margaret was tired, discouraged, and homesick. For

months her strength, time, nerves, and sympathies had been taxed to the

utmost; and now that there had come a breathing space, when the

intricate machinery of her scheme could run for a moment without her

hand at the throttle, she was left weak and nerveless. She was, in fact,

perilously near a breakdown.

Added to all this, she was lonely. More than she would own to herself

she missed her friends, her home life at Hilcrest, and the tender care

and sympathetic interest that had been lavished upon her for so many

years. Here she was the head, the strong tower of defense, the one to

whom everybody came with troubles, perplexities, and griefs. There was

no human being to whom she could turn for comfort. They all looked to

her. Even Bobby McGinnis, when she saw him at all--which was

seldom--treated her with a frigid deference that was inexpressibly

annoying to her.

From the Spencers she heard irregularly. Earlier in the winter the

letters had been more frequent: nervously anxious epistles of some

length from Mrs. Merideth; stilted notes, half protesting, half

pleading, from Ned; and short, but wonderfully sympathetic

communications from Frank. Later Frank had fallen very ill with a fever

of some sort, and Mrs. Merideth and Ned had written only hurried little

bulletins from the sick-room. Then had come the good news that Frank was

out of danger, though still far too weak to undertake the long journey

home. Their letters showed unmistakably their impatience at the delay,

and questioned her as to her health and welfare, but could set no date

for their return. Frank, in particular, was disturbed, they said. He had

not planned to leave either herself or the mills so long, it being his

intention when he went away merely to take a short trip with his sister

and brother, and then hurry back to America alone. As for Frank

himself--he had not written her since his illness.

Margaret was thinking of all this, and was feeling specially forlorn as

she sat alone in the little sitting-room at the Mill House one evening

in early April. She held a book before her, but she was not reading; and

she looked up at once when Patty entered the room.

"I'm sorry ter trouble ye," began Patty, hesitatingly, "but Bobby

McGinnis is here an' wanted me ter ask ye----"

Margaret raised an imperious hand.

"That's all right, Patty," she said so sharply that Patty opened wide

her eyes; "but suppose you just ask Bobby McGinnis to come here to me

and ask his question direct. I will see him now." And Patty, wondering

vaguely what had come to her gentle-eyed, gentle-voiced mistress--as she

insisted upon calling Margaret--fled precipitately.

Two minutes later Bobby McGinnis himself stood tall and straight just

inside the door.

"You sent for me?" he asked.

Margaret sprang to her feet. All the pent loneliness of the past weeks

and months burst forth in a stinging whip of retort.

"Yes, I sent for you." She paused, but the man did not speak, and in a

moment she went on hurriedly, feverishly. "I always send for you--if I

see you at all, and yet you know how hard I'm trying to help these

people, and that you are the only one here that can help me."

She paused again, and again the man was silent.

"Don't you know what I'm trying to do?" she asked.

"Yes." The lips closed firmly over the single word.

"Didn't I ask you to help me? Didn't I appoint us a committee of two to

do the work?" Her voice shook, and her chin trembled like that of a

grieved child.

"Yes." Again that strained, almost harsh monosyllable.

Margaret made an impatient gesture.

"Bobby McGinnis, why don't you help me?" she demanded, tearfully. "Why

do you stand aloof and send to me? Why don't you come to me frankly and

freely, and tell me the best way to deal with these people?"

There was no answer. The man had half turned his face so that only his

profile showed clean-cut and square-chinned against the close-shut door.

"Don't you know that I am alone here--that I have no friends but you and

Patty?" she went on tremulously. "Do you think it kind of you to let me

struggle along alone like this? Sometimes it seems almost as if you were

afraid----"

"I am afraid," cut in a voice shaken with emotion.

"Bobby!" breathed Margaret in surprised dismay, falling back before the

fire in the eyes that suddenly turned and flashed straight into hers.

"Why, Bobby!"

If the man heard, he did not heed. The bonds of his self-control had

snapped, and the torrent of words came with a force that told how great

had been the pressure. He had stepped forward as she fell back, and his

eyes still blazed into hers.

"I _am_ afraid--I'm afraid of myself," he cried. "I don't dare to trust

myself within sight of your dear eyes, or within touch of your dear

hands--though all the while I'm hungry for both. Perhaps I do let you

send for me, instead of coming of my own free will; but I'm never

without the thought of you, and the hope of catching somewhere a glimpse

of even your dress. Perhaps I do stand aloof; but many's the night I've

walked the street outside, watching the light at your window, and many's

the night I've not gone home until dawn lest some harm come to the woman

I loved so--good God! what am I saying!" he broke off hoarsely, dropping

his face into his hands, and sinking into the chair behind him.

Over by the table Margaret stood silent, motionless, her eyes on the

bowed figure of the man before her. Gradually her confused senses were

coming into something like order. Slowly her dazed thoughts were taking

shape.

It was her own fault. She had brought this thing upon herself. She

should have seen--have understood. And now she had caused all this sorrow

to this dear friend of her childhood--the little boy who had befriended

her when she was alone and hungry and lost.... But, after all, why

should he not love her? And why should she not--love him? He was good and

true and noble, and for years he had loved her--she remembered now their

childish compact, and she bitterly reproached herself for not thinking

of it before--it might have saved her this.... Still, did she want to

save herself this? Was it not, after all, the very best thing that could

have happened? Where, and how could she do more good in the world than

right here with this strong, loving heart to help her?... She loved him,

too--she was sure she did--though she had never realized it before.

Doubtless that was half the cause of her present restlessness and

unhappiness--she had loved him all the time, and did not know it! Surely

there was no one in the world who could so wisely help her in her dear

work. Of course she loved him!

Very softly Margaret crossed the room and touched the man's shoulder.

"Bobby, I did not understand--I did not know," she said gently. "You

won't have to stay away--any more."

"Won't have to--stay--away!" The man was on his feet, incredulous wonder

in his eyes.

"No. We--we will do it together--this work."

"But you don't mean--you can't mean----" McGinnis paused, his breath

suspended.

"But I do," she answered, the quick red flying to her cheeks. Then, half

laughing, half crying, she faltered: "And--and I shouldn't think you'd

make--_me_ ask--_you_!"

"Margaret!" choked the man, as he fell on his knees and caught the

girl's two hands to his lips.

[Illustration: "MARGARET CROSSED THE ROOM AND TOUCHED THE MAN'S

SHOULDER."]

The Turn of the Tide: The Story of How Margaret Solved Her Problem · 第 32 / 41 章