In which our hero finds out that Trigonometry is not only necessary to
Navigation, but may be required in settling affairs of honour.
As Captain Wilson truly said, he was too busy even to hear Jack's
story that night, for they were anxious to have both vessels ready to
make sail as soon as a breeze should spring up, for the Spaniards had
vessels of war at Carthagena, which was not ten miles off, and had
known the result of the action: it was therefore necessary to change
their position as soon as possible. Mr Sawbridge was on board the
prize, which was a corvette mounting two guns more than the Harpy, and
called the Cacafuogo.
She had escaped from Cadiz, run through the straits in the night, and
was three miles from Carthagena when she was captured, which she
certainly never would have been, but for Jack's fortunately blundering
against the cape with his armed vessel, so that Captain Wilson and Mr
Sawbridge (both of whom were promoted, the first to the rank of
post-captain, the second to that of commander) may be said to be
indebted to Jack for their good fortune. The Harpy had lost nineteen
men, killed and wounded, and the Spanish corvette forty-seven.
Altogether, it was a very creditable affair.
At two o'clock in the morning, the vessels were ready, everything had
been done that could be done in so short a time, and they stood under
easy sail during the night for Gibraltar, the Nostra Signora del
Carmen, under the charge of Jolliffe, keeping company. Jolliffe had
the advantage over his shipmates, of first hearing Jack's adventures,
with which he was much astonished as well as amused--even Captain
Wilson was not more happy to see Jack than was the worthy master's
mate. About nine o'clock the Harpy hove-to, and sent a boat on board
for our hero and the men who had been so long with him in the prize,
and then hoisted out the pinnace to fetch on board the dollars, which
were of more importance. Jack, as he bade adieu to Jolliffe, took out
of his pocket, and presented him with the articles of war, which, as
they had been so useful to him, he thought Jolliffe could not do
without, and then went down the side: The men were already in the
boat, casting imploring looks upon Jack, to raise feelings of
compassion, and Mesty took his seat by our hero in a very sulky
humour, probably because he did not like the idea of having again "to
boil de kettle for de young gentlemen." Even Jack felt a little
melancholy at resigning his command, and he looked back at the green
petticoat, which blew out gracefully from the mast, for Jolliffe had
determined that he would not haul down the colours under which Jack
had fought so gallant an action.
Jack's narration, as may be imagined, occupied a large part of the
forenoon; and although Jack did not attempt to deny that he had seen
the recall signal of Mr Sawbridge, yet, as his account went on, the
captain became so interested, that at the end of it he quite forgot to
point out to Jack the impropriety of not obeying orders. He gave Jack
great credit for his conduct, and was also much pleased with that of
Mesty. Jack took the opportunity of stating Mesty's aversion to his
present employment, and his recommendation was graciously received.
Jack also succeeded in obtaining the pardon of the men, in
consideration of their subsequent good behaviour; but notwithstanding
this promise on the part of Captain Wilson, they were ordered to be
put in irons for the present. However, Jack told Mesty, and Mesty
told the men, that they would be released with a reprimand when they
arrived at Gibraltar, so that all the men cared for was a fair wind.
Captain Wilson informed Jack, that after his joining the Admiral he
had been sent to Malta with the prizes, and that, supposing the cutter
to have been sunk, he had written to his father, acquainting him with
his son's death, at which our hero was much grieved, for he knew what
sorrow it would occasion, particularly to his poor mother. "But,"
thought Jack, "if she is unhappy for three months, she will be
overjoyed for three more when she hears that I am alive, so it will be
all square at the end of the six; and as soon as I arrive at Gibraltar
I will write, and as the wind is fair, that will be to-morrow or next
day."
After a long conversation Jack was graciously dismissed, Captain
Wilson being satisfied from what he had heard that Jack would turn out
a very good officer, and had already forgotten all about equality and
the rights of man; but there Captain Wilson was mistaken tares sown in
infancy are not so soon rooted out.
Jack went on deck as soon as the captain had dismissed him, and found
the captain and officers of the Spanish corvette standing aft, looking
very seriously at the Nostra Signora del Carmen. When they saw our
hero, whom Captain Wilson had told them was the young officer who had
barred their entrance into Carthagena, they turned their eyes upon
him, not quite so graciously as they might have done.
Jack, with his usual politeness, took off his hat to the Spanish
captain, and, glad to have an opportunity of sporting his Spanish,
expressed the usual wish, that he might live a thousand years. The
Spanish captain, who had reason to wish that Jack had gone to the
devil at least twenty-four hours before, was equally complimentary,
and then begged to be informed what the colours were that Jack had
hoisted during the action. Jack replied that they were colours to
which every Spanish gentleman considered it no disgrace to surrender,
although always ready to engage, and frequently attempting to board.
Upon which the Spanish captain was very much puzzled. Captain Wilson,
who understood a little Spanish, then interrupted by observing--
"By-the-bye, Mr Easy, what colours did you hoist up? We could not
make them out. I see Mr Jolliffe still keeps them up at the peak."
"Yes, sir," replied Jack, rather puzzled what to call them, but at
last he replied, "that it was the banner of equality and the rights of
man."
Captain Wilson frowned, and Jack, perceiving that he was displeased,
then told him the whole story, whereupon Captain Wilson laughed, and
Jack then also explained, in Spanish, to the officers of the corvette,
who replied, "that it was not the first time, and would not be the
last, that men had got into a scrape through a petticoat."
The Spanish captain complimented Jack on his Spanish, which was really
very good (for in two months, with nothing else in the world to do, he
had made great progress), and asked him where he had learnt it.
Jack replied, "At the Zaffarine Islands."
"Zaffarine Isles," replied the Spanish captain; "they are not
inhabited."
"Plenty of ground-sharks," replied Jack. The Spanish captain thought
our hero a very strange fellow, to fight under a green silk petticoat,
and to take lessons in Spanish from the ground-sharks. However, being
quite as polite as Jack, he did not contradict him, but took a huge
pinch of snuff, wishing from the bottom of his heart that the
ground-sharks had taken Jack before he had hoisted that confounded
green petticoat.
However, Jack was in high favour with the captain, and all the ship's
company, with the exception of his four enemies--the master, Vigors,
the boatswain, and the purser's steward. As for Mr Vigors, he had
come to his senses again, and had put his colt in his chest until Jack
should take another cruise. Little Gossett, at any insulting remark
made by Vigors, pointed to the window of the berth and grinned; and
the very recollection made Vigors turn pale, and awed him into
silence.
In two days they arrived at Gibraltar--Mr Sawbridge rejoined the
ship--so did Mr Jolliffe--they remained there a fortnight, during
which Jack was permitted to be continually on shore--Mr Asper
accompanied him, and Jack drew a heavy bill to prove to his father
that he was still alive. Mr Sawbridge made our hero relate to him
all his adventures, and was so pleased with the conduct of Mesty that
he appointed him to a situation which was particularly suited to him,
--that of ship's corporal. Mr Sawbridge knew that it was an office of
trust, and provided that he could find a man fit for it, he was very
indifferent about his colour. Mesty walked and strutted about at
least three inches taller than he was before. He was always clean,
did his duty conscientiously, and seldom used his cane.
"I think, Mr Easy," said the first lieutenant, "that as you are so
particularly fond of taking a cruise,"--for Jack had told the whole
truth,--"it might be as well that you improve your navigation."
"I do think myself, sir," replied Jack, with great modesty, "that I am
not yet quite perfect."
"Well, then, Mr Jolliffe will teach you; he is the most competent in
this ship: the sooner you ask him the better, and if you learn it as
fast as you have Spanish, it will not give you much trouble."
Jack thought the advice good; the next day he was very busy with his
friend Jolliffe, and made the important discovery that two parallel
lines continued to infinity would never meet.
It must not be supposed that Captain Wilson and Mr Sawbridge received
their promotion instanter. Promotion is always attended with delay,
as there is a certain routine in the service which must not be
departed from. Captain Wilson had orders to return to Malta after his
cruise. He therefore carried his own despatches away from England--
from Malta the despatches had to be forwarded to Toulon to the
Admiral, and then the Admiral had to send to England to the Admiralty,
whose reply had to come out again. All this, with the delays arising
from vessels not sailing immediately, occupied an interval of between
five and six months--during which time there was no alteration in the
officers and crew of his Majesty's sloop Harpy.
There had, however, been one alteration; the gunner, Mr Linus, who had
charge of the first cutter in the night action in which our hero was
separated from his ship, carelessly loading his musket, had found
himself minus his right hand, which, upon the musket going off as he
rammed down, had gone off too. He was invalided and sent home during
Jack's absence, and another had been appointed, whose name was
Tallboys. Mr Tallboys was a stout dumpy man, with red face, and still
redder hands; he had red hair and red whiskers, and he had read a
great deal--for Mr Tallboys considered that the gunner was the most
important personage in the ship. He had once been a captain's clerk,
and having distinguished himself very much in cutting-out service, had
applied for and received his warrant as a gunner. He had studied the
"Art of Gunnery," a part of which he understood, but the remainder was
above his comprehension: he continued, however, to read it as before,
thinking that by constant reading he should understand it at last. He
had gone through the work from the title-page to the finis at least
forty times, and had just commenced it over again. He never came on
deck without the gunner's vade mecum in his pocket, with his hand
always upon it to refer to it in a moment.
But Mr Tallboys had, as we observed before, a great idea of the
importance of a gunner, and, among other qualifications, he considered
it absolutely necessary that he should be a navigator. He had at
least ten instances to bring forward of bloody actions, in which the
captain and all the commissioned officers had been killed or wounded
and the command of the ship had devolved upon the gunner.
"Now, sir," would he say, "if the gunner is no navigator, he is not
fit to take charge of his Majesty's ships. The boatswain and
carpenter are merely practical men; but the gunner, sir, is, or ought
to be, scientific. Gunnery, sir, is a science--we have our own
disparts and our lines of sight--our windage, and our parabolas, and
projectile forces--and our point blank, and our reduction of powder
upon a graduated scale. Now, sir, there's no excuse for a gunner not
being a navigator; for knowing his duty as a gunner, he has the same
mathematical tools to work with." Upon this principle, Mr Tallboys had
added John Hamilton Moore to his library, and had advanced about as
far into navigation as he had in gunnery, that is, to the threshold,
where he stuck fast, with all his mathematical tools, which he did not
know how to use. To do him justice, he studied for two or three hours
every day, and it was not his fault if he did not advance--but his
head was confused with technical terms; he mixed all up together, and
disparts, sines and cosines, parabolas, tangents, windage, seconds,
lines of sight, logarithms, projectiles, and traverse sailing,
quadrature, and Gunter's scales, were all crowded together, in a brain
which had not capacity to receive the rule of three. "Too much
learning," said Festus to the apostle, "hath made thee mad." Mr
Tallboys had not wit enough to go mad, but his learning lay like lead
upon his brain: the more he read, the less he understood, at the same
time that he became more satisfied with his supposed acquirements, and
could not speak but in "mathematical parables". "I understand, Mr
Easy," said the gunner to him one day, after they had sailed for
Malta, "that you have entered into the science of navigation--at your
age it was high time."
"Yes," replied Jack, "I can raise a perpendicular, at all events, and
box the compass."
"Yes, but you have not yet arrived at the dispart of the compass."
"Not come to that yet," replied Jack.
"Are you aware that a ship sailing describes a parabola round the
globe?"
"Not come to that yet," replied Jack.
"And that any propelled body striking against another flies off at a
tangent?"
"Very likely," replied Jack; "that is a 'sine' that he don't like it."
"You have not yet entered into 'acute' trigonometry?"
"Not come to that yet," replied Jack.
"That will require very sharp attention."
"I should think so," replied Jack.
"You will then find out how your parallels of longitude and latitude
meet."
"Two parallel lines, if continued to infinity will never meet,"
replied Jack.
"I beg your pardon," said the gunner.
"I beg yours," said Jack.
Whereupon Mr Tallboys brought up a small map of the world, and showed
Jack that all the parallels of latitude met at a point at the top and
the bottom.
"Parallel lines never meet," replied Jack, producing Hamilton Moore.
Whereupon Jack and the gunner argued the point, until it was agreed to
refer the case to Mr Jolliffe, who asserted, with a smile, "That those
lines were parallels, and not parallels."
As both were right, both were satisfied. It was fortunate that Jack
would argue in this instance: had he believed all the confused
assertions of the gunner, he would have been as puzzled as the gunner
himself. They never met without an argument and a reference, and as
Jack was put right in the end, he only learnt the faster. By the time
that he did know something about navigation, he discovered that his
antagonist knew nothing. Before they arrived at Malta, Jack could
fudge a day's work.
But at Malta Jack got into another scrape. Although Mr Smallsole
could not injure him, he was still Jack's enemy; the more so as Jack
had become very popular: Vigors also submitted, planning revenge; but
the parties in this instance were the boatswain and purser's steward.
Jack still continued his forecastle conversations with Mesty: and the
boatswain and purser's steward, probably from their respective
ill-will towards our hero, had become great allies. Mr Easthupp now
put on his best jacket to walk the dog-watches with Mr Biggs, and they
took every opportunity to talk at our hero.
"It's my peculiar hopinion," said Mr Easthupp, one evening, pulling at
the frill of his shirt, "that a gentleman should behave as a
gentleman, and that if a gentleman professes opinions of inequality
and such liberal sentiments, that he is bound as a gentleman to hact
up to them."
"Very true, Mr Easthupp; he is bound to act up to them; and not
because a person, who was a gentleman as well as himself, happens not
to be on the quarter-deck, to insult him because he only has perfessed
opinions like his own."
Hereupon Mr Biggs struck his rattan against the funnel, and looked at
our hero.
"Yes," continued the purser's steward, "I should like to see the
fellow who would have done so on shore; however, the time will come
when I can hagain pull on my plain coat, and then the insult shall be
vashed out in blood, Mr Biggs."
"And I'll be cursed if I don't some day teach a lesson to the
blackguard who stole my trousers."
"Vas hall your money right, Mr Biggs?" inquired the purser's steward.
"I didn't count," replied the boatswain magnificently. "No--gentlemen
are habove that," replied Easthupp; "but there are many light-fingered
gentry about. The quantity of vatches and harticles of value vich
were lost ven I valked Bond Street in former times is incredible."
"I can say this, at all events," replied the boatswain, "that I should
be always ready to give satisfaction to any person beneath me in rank,
after I had insulted him. I don't stand upon my rank, although I don't
talk about equality, damme--no, nor consort with niggers."
All this was too plain for our hero not to understand, so Jack walked
up to the boatswain, and taking his hat off, with the utmost
politeness, said to him--
"If I mistake not, Mr Biggs, your conversation refers to me."
"Very likely it does," replied the boatswain. "Listeners hear no good
of themselves."
"It appears that gentlemen can't converse without being vatched,"
continued Mr Easthupp, pulling up his shirt collar.
"It is not the first time that you have thought proper to make very
offensive remarks, Mr Biggs; and as you appear to consider yourself
ill-treated in the affair of the trousers--for I tell you at once that
it was I who brought them on board--I can only say," continued our
hero, with a very polite bow, "that I shall be most happy to give you
satisfaction."
"I am your superior officer, Mr Easy," replied the boatswain. "Yes, by
the rules of the service; but you just now asserted that you would
waive your rank--indeed, I dispute it on this occasion; I am on the
quarter-deck, and you are not."
"This is the gentleman whom you have insulted, Mr Easy," replied the
boatswain, pointing to the purser's steward.
"Yes, Mr Heasy, quite as good a gentleman as yourself although I av ad
misfortunes--I ham of as old a family as hany in the country," replied
Mr Easthupp, now backed by the boatswain; "many the year did I valk
Bond Street, and I ave as good blood in my weins as you, Mr Heasy,
halthough I have been misfortunate--I've had Admirals in my family."
"You have grossly insulted this gentleman," said Mr Biggs, in
continuation; "and notwithstanding all your talk of equality, you are
afraid to give him satisfaction--you shelter yourself under your
quarter-deck."
"Mr Biggs," replied our hero, who was now very wroth, "I shall go on
shore directly we arrive at Malta. Let you and this fellow put on
plain clothes, and I will meet you both--and then I'll show you
whether I am afraid to give satisfaction."
"One at a time," said the boatswain. "No, sir, not one at a time, but
both at the same time--I will fight both, or none. If you are my
superior officer, you must descend," replied Jack, with an ironical
sneer, "to meet me, or I will not descend to meet that fellow, whom I
believe to have been little better than a pickpocket."
This accidental hit of Jack's made the purser's steward turn pale as a
sheet, and then equally red. He raved and foamed amazingly, although
he could not meet Jack's indignant look, who then turned round again.
"Now, Mr Biggs, is this to be understood, or do you shelter yourself
under your forecastle?"
"I'm no dodger," replied the boatswain, "and we will settle the affair
at Malta." At which reply Jack returned to Mesty.
"Massa Easy, I look at um face, dat fellow Eastop, he no like it. I go
shore wid you, see fair play, anyhow--suppose I can?"
Mr Biggs having declared that he would fight, of course had to look
out for a second, and he fixed upon Mr Tallboys, the gunner, and
requested him to be his friend. Mr Tallboys, who had been latterly
very much annoyed by Jack's victories over him in the science of
navigation, and therefore felt ill-will towards him, consented; but he
was very much puzzled how to arrange that three were to fight at the
same time, for he had no idea of there being two duels; so he went to
his cabin and commenced reading. Jack, on the other hand, dared not
say a word to Jolliffe on the subject; indeed there was no one in the
ship to whom he could confide but Gascoigne: he therefore went to him,
and although Gascoigne thought it was excessively 'infra dig' of Jack
to meet even the boatswain, as the challenge had been given there was
no retracting: he therefore consented, like all midshipmen,
anticipating fun, and quite thoughtless of the consequences.
The second day after they had been anchored in Valette Harbour, the
boatswain and gunner, Jack and Gascoigne, obtained permission to go on
shore. Mr Easthupp, the purser's steward, dressed in his best blue
coat, with brass buttons and velvet collar, the very one in which he
had been taken up when he had been vowing and protesting that he was a
gentleman, at the very time that his hand was abstracting a
pocket-book, went up on the quarter-deck, and requested the same
indulgence, but Mr Sawbridge refused, as he required him to return
staves and hoops at the cooperage. Mesty also, much to his
mortification, was not to be spared. This was awkward, but it was got
over by proposing that the meeting should take place behind the
cooperage at a certain hour, on which Mr Easthupp might slip out, and
borrow a portion of the time appropriated to his duty, to heal the
breach in his wounded honour. So the parties all went on shore, and
put up at one of the small inns to make the necessary arrangements.
Mr Tallboys then addressed Mr Gascoigne, taking him apart while the
boatswain amused himself with a glass of grog, and our hero sat
outside teasing a monkey.
"Mr Gascoigne," said the gunner, "I have been very much puzzled how
this duel should be fought, but I have at last found it out. You see
that there are three parties to fight; had there been two or four
there would have been no difficulty, as the right line or square might
guide us in that instance; but we must arrange it upon the triangle in
this."
Gascoigne stared; he could not imagine what was coming.
"Are you aware, Mr Gascoigne, of the properties of an equilateral
triangle?"
"Yes," replied the midshipman, "that it has three equal sides--but
what the devil has that to do with the duel?"
"Everything, Mr
Gascoigne," replied the gunner; "it has resolved the great difficulty:
indeed, the duel between three can only be fought upon that principle.
You observe," said the gunner, taking a piece of chalk out of his
pocket, and making a triangle on the table, "in this figure we have
three points, each equidistant from each other: and we have three
combatants--so that, placing one at each point, it is all fair play
for the three: Mr Easy, for instance, stands here, the boatswain here,
and the purser's steward at the third corner. Now, if the distance is
fairly measured, it will be all right."
"But then," replied Gascoigne, delighted at the idea; "how are they to
fire?" "It certainly is not of much consequence," replied the gunner,
"but still, as sailors, it appears to me that they should fire with
the sun; that is, Mr Easy fires at Mr Biggs, Mr Biggs fires at Mr
Easthupp, and Mr Easthupp fires at Mr Easy; so that you perceive that
each party has his shot at one, and at the same time receives the fire
of another."
Gascoigne was in ecstasies at the novelty of the proceeding, the more
so as he perceived that Easy obtained every advantage by the
arrangement.
"Upon my word, Mr Tallboys, I give you great credit; you have a
profound mathematical head, and I am delighted with your arrangement.
Of course, in these affairs, the principals are bound to comply with
the arrangements of the seconds, and I shall insist upon Mr Easy
consenting to your excellent and scientific proposal."
Gascoigne went out, and pulling Jack away from the monkey, told him
what the gunner had proposed, at which Jack laughed heartily.
The gunner also explained it to the boatswain, who did not very well
comprehend, but replied--
"I dare say it's all right--shot for shot, and d--n all favours." The
parties then repaired to the spot with two pairs of ship's pistols,
which Mr Tallboys had smuggled on shore; and, as soon as they were on
the ground, the gunner called Mr Easthupp out of the cooperage. In the
meantime, Gascoigne had been measuring an equilateral triangle of
twelve paces--and marked it out. Mr Tallboys, on his return with the
purser's steward, went over the ground, and finding that it was "equal
angles subtended by equal sides," declared that it was all right. Easy
took his station, the boatswain was put into his, and Mr Easthupp, who
was quite in a mystery, was led by the gunner to the third position.
"But, Mr Tallboys," said the purser's steward, "I don't understand
this. Mr Easy will first fight Mr Biggs, will he not?"
"No," replied the gunner, "this is a duel of three. You will fire at
Mr Easy, Mr Easy will fire at Mr Biggs, and Mr Biggs will fire at you.
It is all arranged, Mr Easthupp."
"But," said Mr Easthupp, "I do not understand it. Why is Mr Biggs to
fire at me? I have no quarrel with Mr Biggs."
"Because Mr Easy fires at Mr Biggs, and Mr Biggs must have his shot as
well."
"If you have ever been in the company of gentlemen, Mr Easthupp,"
observed Gascoigne, "you must know something about duelling."
"Yes, yes, I've kept the best company, Mr Gascoigne, and I can give a
gentleman satisfaction; but--"
"Then, sir, if that is the case, you must know that your honour is in
the hands of your second, and that no gentleman appeals."
"Yes, yes, I know that, Mr Gascoigne; but still I've no quarrel with
Mr Biggs, and therefore, Mr Biggs, of course you will not aim at me."
"Why you don't think that I am going to be fired at for nothing,"
replied the boatswain; "no, no, I'll have my shot anyhow."
"But at your friend, Mr Biggs?"
"All the same, I shall fire at somebody; shot for shot, and hit the
luckiest."
"Vel, gentlemen, I purtest against these proceedings," replied Mr
Easthupp; "I came here to have satisfaction from Mr Easy, and not to
be fired at by Mr Biggs."
"Don't you have satisfaction when you fire at Mr Easy?" replied the
gunner; "what more would you have?"
"I purtest against Mr Biggs firing at me."
"So you would have a shot without receiving one," cried Gascoigne:
"the fact is that this fellow's a confounded coward, and ought to be
kicked into the cooperage again."
At this affront Mr Easthupp rallied, and accepted the pistol offered
by the gunner.
"You ear those words, Mr Biggs; pretty language to use to a gentleman.
You shall ear from me, sir, as soon as the ship is paid off. I purtest
no longer, Mr Tallboys; death before dishonour. I'm a gentleman,
damme!"
At all events, the swell was not a very courageous gentleman, for he
trembled most exceedingly as he pointed his pistol.
The gunner gave the word, as if he were exercising the great guns on
board ship.
"Cock your locks!"--"Take good aim at the object!"--"Fire!"--"Stop
your vents!" The only one of the combatants who appeared to comply
with the latter supplementary order was Mr Easthupp, who clapped his
hand to his trousers behind, gave a loud yell, and then dropped down;
the bullet having passed clean through his seat of honour, from his
having presented his broadside as a target to the boatswain as he
faced towards our hero. Jack's shot had also taken effect, having
passed through both the boatswain's cheeks, without further mischief
than extracting two of his best upper double teeth, and forcing
through the hole of the further cheek the boatswain's own quid of
tobacco. As for Mr Easthupp's ball, as he was very unsettled, and
shut his eyes before he fired, it had gone the Lord knows where.
The purser's steward lay on the ground and screamed--the boatswain
spit his double teeth and two or three mouthfuls of blood out, and
then threw down his pistols in a rage.
"A pretty business, by God," sputtered he; "he's put my pipe out. How
the devil am I to pipe to dinner when I'm ordered, all my wind
escaping through the cheeks?"
In the meantime, the others had gone to the assistance of the purser's
steward, who continued his vociferations. They examined him, and
considered a wound in that part not to be dangerous.
"Hold your confounded bawling," cried the gunner, "or you'll have the
guard down here: you're not hurt."
"Han't hi?" roared the steward: "Oh, let me die, let me die; don't
move me!"
"Nonsense," cried the gunner, "you must get up and walk down to the
boat; if you don't we'll leave you--hold your tongue, confound you.
You won't? then I'll give you something to halloo for."
Whereupon Mr Tallboys commenced cuffing the poor wretch right and
left, who received so many swinging boxes of the ear that he was soon
reduced to merely pitiful plaints of "Oh dear!--such inhumanity--I
purtest--oh dear! must I get up? I can't, indeed."
"I do not think he can move, Mr Tallboys," said Gascoigne; "I should
think the best plan would be to call up two of the men from the
cooperage, and let them take him at once to the hospital."
The gunner went down to the cooperage to call the men. Mr Biggs, who
had bound up his face as if he had a toothache, for the bleeding had
been very slight, came up to the purser's steward.
"What the hell are you making such a howling about? Look at me, with
two shot-holes through my figure head, while you have only got one in
your stem: I wish I could change with you, by heavens, for I could use
my whistle then--now if I attempt to pipe, there will be such a
wasteful expenditure of his Majesty's stores of wind, that I never
shall get out a note. A wicked shot of yours, Mr Easy."
"I really am very sorry," replied Jack, with a polite bow, "and I beg
to offer my best apology."
During this conversation, the purser's steward felt very faint, and
thought he was going to die.
"Oh dear! oh dear! what a fool I was; I never was a gentleman--only a
swell: I shall die; I never will pick a pocket again--never--never--
God forgive me!"
"Why, confound the fellow," cried Gascoigne, "so you were a
pickpocket, were you?"
"I never will again," replied the fellow in a faint voice. "Hi'll
hamend and lead a good life--a drop of water--oh! lagged at last!"
Then the poor wretch fainted away: and Mr Tallboys coming up with the
men, he was taken on their shoulders and walked off to the hospital,
attended by the gunner and also the boatswain, who thought he might as
well have a little medical advice before he went on board.
"Well, Easy," said Gascoigne, collecting the pistols and tying them up
in his handkerchief, "I'll be shot but we're in a pretty scrape;
there's no hushing this up. I'll be hanged if I care, it's the best
piece of fun I ever met with." And at the remembrance of it Gascoigne
laughed till the tears ran down his cheeks. Jack's mirth was not
quite so excessive, as he was afraid that the purser's steward was
severely hurt, and expressed his fears.
"At all events, you did not hit him," replied Gascoigne: "all you have
to answer for is the boatswain's mug,--I think you've stopped his jaw
for the future."
"I'm afraid that our leave will be stopped for the future," replied
Jack.
"That we may take our oaths of," replied Gascoigne.
"Then look you, Ned," said Easy; "I've lots of dollars--we may as well
be hanged for a sheep as a lamb, as the saying is, I vote that we do
not go on board."
"Sawbridge will send and fetch us," replied Ned; "but he must find us
first."
"That won't take long, for the soldiers will soon have our description
and rout us out. We shall be pinned in a couple of days."
"Confound it, and they say that the ship is to be hove down, and that
we shall be here six weeks at least, cooped up on board in a broiling
sun, and nothing to do but to watch the pilot fish playing round the
rudder and munch bad apricots. I won't go on board. Look'ye, Jack,"
said Gascoigne, "have you plenty of money?"
"I have twenty doubloons, besides dollars," replied Jack.
"Well, then, we will pretend to be so much alarmed at the result of
this duel that we dare not show ourselves lest we should be hung. I
will write a note and send it to Jolliffe, to say that we have hid
ourselves until the affair is blown over, and beg him to intercede
with the captain and first lieutenant. I will tell him all the
particulars, and refer to the gunner for the truth of it; and then I
know that, although we should be punished, they will only laugh. But
I will pretend that Easthupp is killed, and we are frightened out of
our lives. That will be it, and then let's get on board one of the
speronares which come with fruit from Sicily, sail in the night for
Palermo, and then we'll have a cruise for a fortnight, and when the
money is all gone we'll come back."
"That's a capital idea, Ned, and the sooner we do it the better. I
will write to the captain, begging him to get me off from being hung,
and telling him where we have fled to, and that letter shall be given
after we have sailed."
They were two very nice lads--our hero and Gascoigne.