CHAPTER VII

In which Jack makes some very sage reflections, and comes to a very

unwise decision.

After all, it must be acknowledged that although there are cases of

distress in which a well may become a place of refuge, a well is not

at all calculated for a prolonged residence--so thought Jack. After

he had been there some fifteen minutes, his teeth chattered, and his

limbs trembled; he felt a numbness all over, and he thought it high

time to call for assistance, which at first he would not, as he was

afraid he should be pulled up to encounter the indignation of the

farmer and his family. Jack was arranging his jaws for a halloo, when

he felt the chain pulled up, and he slowly emerged from the water. At

first he heard complaints of the weight of the bucket, at which Jack

was not surprised; then he heard a tittering and laughing between two

parties; and soon afterwards he mounted up gaily. At last his head

appeared above the low wall, and he was about to extend his arms so as

to secure a position on it, when those who were working at the

windlass beheld him. It was a heavy farming man and a maid-servant.

"Thank you," said Jack.

One never should be too quick in returning thanks; the girl screamed

and let go the winch, the man, frightened, did not hold it fast; it

slipped from his grasp, whirled round, struck him under the chin, and

threw him over it headlong, and before the "Thank you" was fairly out

of Jack's lips, down he went again like lightning to the bottom.

Fortunately for Jack, he had not yet let go the chain, or he might

have struck the sides and have been killed; as it was, he was merely

soused a second time, and in a minute or two regained his former

position.

"This is mighty pleasant," thought Jack, as he clapped his wet hat

once more on his head; "at all events, they can't now plead ignorance,

they must know that I'm here."

In the meantime the girl ran into the kitchen, threw herself down on a

stool, from which she reeled off in a fit upon sundry heaps of dough

waiting to be baked in the oven, which were laid to rise on the floor

before the fire.

"Mercy on me, what is the matter with Susan?" exclaimed the farmer's

wife. "Here--where's Mary--where's John--Deary me, if the bread won't

all be turned to pancakes."

John soon followed, holding his under-jaw in his hand, looking very

dismal and very frightened, for two reasons; one, because he thought

that his jaw was broken, and the other, because he thought he had seen

the devil.

"Mercy on us, what is the matter?" exclaimed the farmer's wife again.

"Mary, Mary, Mary!" screamed she, beginning to be frightened herself,

for with all her efforts she could not remove Susan from the bed of

dough, where she lay senseless and heavy as lead. Mary answered to her

mistress's loud appeal, and with her assistance they raised up Susan;

but as for the bread, there was no hopes of it ever rising again. "Why

don't you come here and help Susan, John?" cried Mary.

"Aw-yaw-aw!" was all the reply of John, who had had enough quite of

helping Susan, and who continued to hold his head, as it were, in his

hand.

"What's the matter here, missus?" exclaimed the farmer, coming in.

"Highty-tighty, what ails Susan? and what ails you?" continued the

farmer, turning to John. "Dang it, but everything seems to go wrong,

this blessed day. First, there be all the apples stolen--then there

be all the hives turned topsy-turvy in the garden--then there be

Caesar with his flank opened by the bull--then there be the bull

broken through the hedge and tumbled into the saw-pit--and now I come

to get more help to drag him out, I find one woman dead like, and John

looks as if he had seen the devil."

"Aw-yaw-aw!" replied John, nodding his head very significantly.

"One would think that the devil had broke loose to-day. What is it,

John? Have you seen him, and has Susan seen him?"

"Aw-yaw."

"He's stopped your jaw, then, at all events, and I thought the devil

himself wouldn't have done that-we shall get nothing of you. Is that

wench coming to her senses?"

"Yes, yes, she's better now,--Susan, what's the matter?"

"Oh, oh, ma'am! the well, the well--"

"The well! Something wrong there, I suppose: well, I will go and

see."

The farmer trotted off to the well; he perceived the bucket was at the

bottom and all the rope out; he looked about him, and then he looked

into the well. Jack, who had become very impatient, had been looking

up some time for the assistance which he expected would have come

sooner; the round face of the farmer occasioned a partial eclipse of

the round disk which bounded his view, just as one of the satellites

of Jupiter sometimes obscures the face of the planet round which he

revolves.

"Here I am," cried Jack; "get me up quick, or I shall be dead"; and

What Jack said was true, for he was quite done up by having been so

long down, although his courage had not failed him.

"Dang it, but there be somebody fallen into the well," cried the

farmer; "no end to mishaps this day. Well, we must get a Christian

out of a well afore we get a bull out of a saw-pit, so I'll go and

call the men."

In a very short time the men who were assembled round the saw-pit were

brought to the well.

"Down below there, hold on now."

"Never fear," cried Jack.

Away went the winch, and once more Jack had an extended horizon to

survey. As soon as he was at the top, the men hauled him over the

bricks and laid him down upon the ground, for Jack's strength had

failed him.

"Dang it, if it bean't that chap who was on my apple-tree," cried the

farmer--"howsoever, he must not die for stealing a few apples; lift

him up, lads, and take him in--he is dead with cold--no wonder."

The farmer led the way, and the men carried Jack into the house, when

the farmer gave him a glass of brandy; this restored Jack's

circulation, and in a short time he was all right again.

After some previous conversation, in which Jack narrated all that had

happened, "What may be your name?" inquired the farmer.

"My name is Easy," replied Jack.

"What! be you the son of Mr Easy, of Forest Hill?"

"Yes."

"Dang it, he be my landlord, and a right good landlord too--why didn't

you say so when you were up in the apple-tree? You might have picked

the whole orchard and welcome."

"My dear sir," replied Jack, who had taken a second glass of brandy,

and was quite talkative again, "let this be a warning to you, and when

a man proposes to argue the point, always, in future, listen. Had you

waited, I would have proved to you most incontestably that you had no

more right to the apples than I had; but you would not listen to

argument, and without discussion we can never arrive at truth. You

send for your dog, who is ripped up by the bull--the bull breaks his

leg in a saw-pit--the bee-hives are overturned, and you lose all your

honey--your man John breaks his jaw--your maid Susan spoils all the

bread--and why? because you would not allow me to argue the point."

"Well, Mr Easy, it be all true that all these mishaps have happened

because I would not allow you to argue the point, perhaps, although,

as I rent the orchard from your father, I cannot imagine how you could

prove to me that the apples were not mine; but now, let's take your

side of the question, and I don't see how you be much better off: you

get up in a tree for a few apples, with plenty of money to buy them if

you like--you are kept there by a dog--you are nearly gored by a

bull--you are stung by the bees, and you tumble souse into a well,

and are nearly killed a dozen times, and all for a few apples not

worth twopence."

"All very true, my good man," replied Jack; "but you forget that I, as

a philosopher, was defending the rights of man."

"Well, I never knew before that a lad who stole apples was called a

philosopher--we calls it petty larceny in the indictments: and as for

your rights of man, I cannot see how they can be defended by doing

what's wrong."

"You do not comprehend the matter, farmer."

"No, I don't--and I be too old to learn, Master Easy. All I have to

say is this, you are welcome to all the apples in the orchard if you

please, and if you prefers, as it seems you do, to steal them, instead

of asking for them, which I only can account for by the reason that

they say, that 'stolen fruit be sweetest,' I've only to say that I

shall give orders that you be not interfered with. My chaise be at

the door, Master Easy, and the man will drive you to your father's--

make my compliments to him, and say, that I'm very sorry that you

tumbled into our well."

As Jack was much more inclined for bed than argument, he wished the

farmer good-night, and allowed himself to be driven home. The pain

from the sting of the bees, now that his circulation had fully

returned, was so great, that he was not sorry to find Dr Middleton

taking his tea with his father and mother. Jack merely said that he

had been so unfortunate as to upset a hive, and had been severely

stung. He deferred the whole story till another opportunity. Dr

Middleton prescribed for Jack, but on taking his hand found that he

was in a high fever, which, after the events of the day, was not to be

wondered at. Jack was bled, and kept his bed for a week, by which

time he was restored; but, during that time, Jack had been thinking

very seriously, and had made up his mind.

But we must explain a circumstance which had occurred, which was

probably the cause of Jack's decision. When Jack returned on the

evening in question, he found seated with his father and Dr Middleton

a Captain Wilson, a sort of cousin to the family, who but occasionally

paid them a visit, for he lived at some distance; and having a wife

and large family, with nothing but his half-pay for their support, he

could not afford to expend even shoe-leather in compliments. The

object of this visit on the part of Captain Wilson was to request the

aid of Mr Easy He had succeeded in obtaining his appointment to a

sloop of war (for he was in the king's service), but was without the

means of fitting himself out, without leaving his wife and family

penniless. He therefore came to request Mr Easy to lend him a few

hundred pounds, until he should be able, by his prize-money, to repay

them. Mr Easy was not a man to refuse such a request, and always

having plenty of spare cash at his banker's, he drew a cheque for a

thousand pounds, which he gave to Captain Wilson, requesting that he

would only repay it at his convenience. Captain Wilson wrote an

acknowledgment of the debt, promising to pay upon his first

prize-money, which receipt, however binding it may be to a man of

honour, was, in point of law, about as valuable as if he had agreed to

pay as soon "as the cows came home." The affair had been just

concluded, and Captain Wilson had returned into the parlour with Mr

Easy, when Jack returned from his expedition.

Jack greeted Captain Wilson, whom he had long known; but, as we before

observed, he suffered so much pain, that he soon retired with Dr

Middleton, and went to bed.

During a week there is room for much reflection, even in a lad of

fourteen, although at that age we are not much inclined to think. But

Jack was in bed; his eyes were so swollen with the stings of the bees

that he could neither read nor otherwise amuse himself; and he

preferred his own thoughts to the gabble of Sarah, who attended him;

so Jack thought, and the result of his cogitations we shall soon bring

forward.

It was on the eighth day that Jack left his bed and came down into the

drawing-room. He then detailed to his father the adventures which had

taken place, which had obliged him to take to his bed.

"You see, Jack," replied his father, "it's just what I told you: the

world is so utterly demoralised by what is called social compact, and

the phalanx supporting it, by contributing a portion of their unjust

possessions for the security of the remainder, is so powerful, that

any one who opposes it must expect to pass the life of a martyr; but

martyrs are always required previous to any truth, however sublime,

being received, and, like Abraham, whom I have always considered as a

great philosopher, I am willing to sacrifice my only son in so noble a

cause."

"That's all very good on your part, father, but we must argue the

point a little. If you are as great a philosopher as Abraham, I am

not quite so dutiful a son as Isaac, whose blind obedience, in my

opinion, is very contrary to your rights of man: but the fact, in few

words, is simply this. In promulgating your philosophy, in the short

space of two days, I have been robbed of the fish I caught, and my rod

and line--I have been soused into a fish-pond--I have been frightened

out of my wits by a bull-dog--been nearly killed by a bull--been stung

to death by bees, and twice tumbled into a well. Now, if all that

happens in two days, what must I expect to suffer in a whole year? It

appears to be very unwise to attempt making further converts, for

people on shore seem determined not to listen to reason or argument.

But it has occurred to me, that although the whole earth has been so

nefariously divided among the few, that the waters at least are the

property of all. No man claims his share of the sea--every one may

there plough as he pleases, without being taken up for a trespasser.

Even war makes no difference; every one may go on as he pleases, and

if they meet, it is nothing but a neutral ground on which the parties

contend. It is, then, only upon the ocean that I am likely to find

that equality and rights of man, which we are so anxious to establish

on shore; and therefore I have resolved not to go to school again,

which I detest, but to go to sea, and propagate our opinions as much

as I can."

"I cannot listen to that, Jack, in the first place, you must return to

school; in the next place, you shall not go to sea."

"Then, father, all I have to say is, that I swear by the rights of man

I will not go back to school, and that I will go to sea. Who and what

is to prevent me? Was not I born my own master?--has any one a right

to dictate to me as if I were not his equal? Have I not as much right

to my share of the sea as any other mortal? I stand upon perfect

equality," continued Jack, stamping his right foot on the floor.

What had Mr Easy to offer in reply? He must either, as a philosopher,

have sacrificed his hypothesis, or, as a father, have sacrificed his

son. Like all philosophers, he preferred what he considered as the

less important of the two, he sacrificed his son; but--we will do him

justice--he did it with a sigh.

"Jack, you shall, if you wish it, go to sea."

"That, of course," replied Jack, with the air of a conqueror; "but the

question is, with whom? Now it has occurred to me, that Captain

Wilson has just been appointed to a ship, and I should like to sail

with him."

"I will write to him," said Mr Easy, mournfully, "but I should have

liked to have felt his head first"; and thus was the matter arranged.

The answer from Captain Wilson was, of course, in the affirmative, and

he promised that he would treat Jack as his own son.

Our hero mounted his father's horse, and rode off to Mr Bonnycastle.

"I am going to sea, Mr Bonnycastle."

"The very best thing for you," replied Mr Bonnycastle.

Our hero met Dr Middleton. "I am going to sea, Dr Middleton."

"The very best thing for you," replied the Doctor. "I am going to sea,

mother," said John. "To sea, John, to sea? no, no, dear John, you are

not going to sea," replied Mrs Easy, with horror.

"Yes, I am; father has agreed, and says he will obtain your consent."

"My consent! Oh, my dear, dear boy!"--and Mrs Easy wept bitterly, as

Rachel mourning for her children.

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