The morning came at last, fine as the palpitating hearts of expectant
damsels could desire, and calm enough to please the most timid
chaperone; so calm, indeed, that it was a question whether any craft
with canvas alone to depend on could move from her moorings with a
chance of going anywhere except to Hurst or the Nab; but, as few of our
lady friends had any nautical knowledge, that in no way disconcerted
them, and they would not have believed us had we assured them that there
was too little wind for the excursion. By noon, however, a few
cats'-paws appeared on the lake-like surface of the water, and soon
after the deck of the "Frolic" once more began to rejoice in the
presence of many of the former frolickers. They found it easy enough to
come on board, but to collect all hands and get under way was a very
different thing. The Miss Sandons and Jane Seaton, who came escorted by
Loring, on finding no chaperone, thought they ought to go on shore
again, as neither Mrs Topgallant nor Mrs Skyscraper had come; but Sir
Francis kept them discussing the point till Carstairs had time to dive
below, and presently returned with a Norman cap on his head, a shawl
over his shoulders, and a boat-cloak as a petticoat.
"There," he exclaimed, crossing his arms before him, and putting his
head on one side, sentimentally, "I'm as good a duenna as Mrs
Topgallant, or any other lady of your acquaintance." All laughed and
forgot to go. "Come, my dear girls, sit down and behave yourselves; no
flirting with that naval officer, if you please," he continued,
imitating the honourable dame. "You, Mr Loring, and you, Mr Henry
Flareup, go forward and smoke your cigars. I can't allow such nasty
practices here."
Flareup had, as usual, lighted his weed, and was sending the smoke into
the face of May Sandon. The roars of laughter were not few as the real
Mrs Topgallant, with Miss Mary Masthead, approached, and the Norman cap
with the good-natured face of the wearer was seen looking over the side
affectionately down upon them. The Rev Fred and the Miss Masons next
arrived, and lastly Mrs Skyscraper, Miss Cardiff, Lord Lorimer, and
Hearty.
"Now, remember, Mr Hearty, we must get back before dark; it is on that
condition alone that I have consented to chaperone these young ladies,"
said Mrs Topgallant, as we were about to get under way.
"And I, also," exclaimed pretty Mrs Skyscraper.
"Oh, we don't allow you to be a chaperone," said Carstairs; "you are far
too young and too engaging," he whispered; and the Gentle Giant actually
blushed as he said so; luckily Miss Susan Rattler did not hear him.
"And mamma made me promise to be back at eight," cried Jane Seaton.
"And so did ours!" echoed the three Miss Sandons.
"You know we could not have come at all unless we were certain of being
at home in proper time!" exclaimed the two Miss Masons; "could we, Mr
Fairfax?"
The pet bowed and smiled. He was meditating on the Life of St.
Euphemia, of Rhodes, and did not hear the question.
"Remember, ladies, that time and tide wait for no man," answered Hearty.
"Even such fair goddesses as honour the `Frolic' by their presence this
day cannot govern the winds and waves, however much they may every thing
else. Therefore all I can promise is, to do my best to follow the
wishes of your amiable mammas, and of yourselves."
"And of mine, if you please, Mr Hearty," put in Mrs Topgallant.
"Certainly, my dear madam, I considered you among the goddesses of whom
I was speaking," answered Hearty, with a flourish of his broad-brimmed
beaver, which, with the compliment, completely won the honourable lady's
heart.
The anchor was at last weighed, and it being fortunately slack tide,
with a light air from the south-east, we were able to fetch Calshot
Castle.
Most of my readers probably know the Southampton Water, and may picture
us to themselves as we floated up the stream with the round, solid,
Stilton-cheese-like-looking Castle of Calshot, at the end of a sandy
spit, and the lordly Tower of Eaglehurst, rising among the trees visible
over it on the one hand, and the mouth of the Hamble River on the other,
while, as far as the eye can reach on either hand, are seen verdant
groves, with the roofs and chimneys of numerous villas peeping from
among them. About three-quarters of the way up, on the right hand, at a
short distance only from the water, stand the picturesque ruins of
Netley Abbey. The jolly monks of old--and I respect them for it--always
selected the most beautiful sites in the neighbourhood for their
habitations, and in fixing on that for Netley, they did not depart from
their rule. Several chambers remain; and the walls which surround an
inner court are entire, with fine arched windows, the tracery work
complete, looking into it. We brought up off it, and the boats were
instantly lowered to convey the passengers on shore. In getting into
one of them, Loring nearly went overboard, and a shriek of terror from
Jane Seaton would have published her secret, had not everybody known it
before. At last the hampers and the people reached the beach in safety;
and now began the difficulties of the chaperone. She was like a
shepherd with a wild flock of sheep and no dog; they would stray in
every direction out of her sight. Some had brought sketch-books, and
perched themselves about, far apart, to take views of the ruins; others
preferred what they called exploring; and Jane and Loring vanished no
one knew where. The Gentle Giant, who drew very well, was called on by
the Miss Rattlers and several other ladies to fill up the pages of their
books; and Hearty was running about talking to everybody and ordering
every thing; while Bubble was exerting himself to do the same, and to
take sketches into the bargain, though all his friends observed that
there was a want of his usual vivacity. The Rattler girls quizzed him
unmercifully, till they brought him back to the semblance, at all
events, of his former self. The servants had been employed in laying
the cloth under the shade of a tree which had sprung up in the
courtyard, and thither Hearty's voice now summoned us. How can pen of
mine do justice to the cold collation which was spread before our
rejoicing eyes! I can only say that the party did it, and amply too.
"Are we all here?" exclaimed the master of the revels. "No, by Bacchus!
two are wanting--Miss Seaton and Mr Loring--where are they?"
"Good gracious! where can they be?" screamed the Honourable Mrs
Topgallant.
"What can have become of them?" cried Mrs Skyscraper.
"They probably did not hear you call, and I dare say they are not far
off," suggested Miss Cardiff, always anxious to find a good excuse for
her acquaintance.
"I should not wonder but what they have eloped," observed Miss Susan
Rattler.
"What fun!" said Miss Mary Masthead; "we haven't had such a thing for a
long time."
"How shocking!" ejaculated the Miss Masons in a breath, and looked at
the Rev Frederick.
"I'll wager I find the truants," said Bubble, about to go; but he was
saved the trouble, for at that moment they appeared; the fair Jane
looking very confused--Harry Loring remarkably happy.
"We've all been talking about you two," blurted out Hearty. "No scandal
though, so sit down and enable us to recover our appetites, for our
anxiety nearly took them away. Now tell us, what have you been doing?"
Poor Jane did not know which way to look, nor what to say; and it never
occurred to Hearty that his question might possibly confuse her.
Loring, however, came to the rescue.
"Admiring the architecture, exploring everywhere, and examining every
thing, which no one else appears to have done, or the dinner-bell would
not have been answered so speedily. And now, old fellow, I'll drink a
glass of champagne with you."
This would not blind us, however. Every one saw what he had been about,
and no small blame to him either. Of course, no one further hinted at
the subject. After dinner we again wandered about the ruins, and the
shades of evening surprised us while still there, to the great horror of
Mrs Topgallant, and not a little to that of the Miss Masons, who had
been so earnestly listening to a discourse of the Rev Frederick on the
importance of reviving monasteries, that they did not observe the sun
set.
"Hillo, ladies and gentlemen! we ought to be on board again," sung out
Hearty, from the top of a high wall to which he had climbed. "There is
no time to be lost, if we would not displease our mammas."
A good deal of time, however, was lost in collecting the scattered
sheep, and in carrying down the baskets to the boats, which the servants
had neglected to do. When we did at length reach the spot at which we
had landed, a bank of mud was alone to be seen, and one of the men
brought us the pleasing intelligence that the nearest place at which we
could possibly embark was about a mile down the river.
"We here have a convincing proof that time and tide wait for no one,"
cried Bubble; "or the latter would certainly have remained up for the
convenience of so many charming young ladies."
"Shocking!" exclaimed Mrs Topgallant.
"What will our mammas say?" ejaculated all the fair damsels.
"That it's very improper," said the chaperone-general.
"It can't be helped now; so if we do not intend to spend the night on
the beach, we had better keep moving," observed one of the gentlemen.
Henry Flareup expressed his opinion that the dismay their non-arrival
would cause would be jolly fun, and the Miss Rattlers were in ecstasies
of delight at the _contretemps_.
However, no one grumbled very much, and at last we reached the boats. A
new difficulty then arose. They barely floated with the crews in them,
but with passengers on board they would be aground. The men had to get
out, and, as it was, the only approach to them was over wet mud of a
soft nature, yet no persuasions would induce the ladies to be carried to
them. Mrs Topgallant would not hear of such a thing, and boldly led
the van through the mud. The young ladies followed, nearly losing their
shoes, and most effectually draggling (I believe it is a proper word)
their gowns. Hearty counted them off to see, as he said, that none were
missing; and then began the work of getting the boats afloat, one or two
of the ladies, not accustomed to yachting, being dreadfully alarmed at
seeing the men jump overboard, to lift them along. Huzza! off we went
at last, and pulled towards the "Frolic."
"Let's get back as fast as we can, Snow," exclaimed Hearty, as soon as
he stepped on deck.
"Beg pardon, sir, it won't be very fast, though," answered the master.
"Why, how is that?" asked Hearty; "an hour and a half will do it, won't
it?"
"Bless your heart, no, sir," said old Snow, almost laughing at the idea.
"It's just dead low water, so the flood will make up for the best part
of the next six hours, and after that, if there doesn't come more wind
than we has now, we shan't make no great way."
"But let us at all events get up our anchor and try to do something,"
urged Hearty, whose ideas of navigation were not especially distinct at
the time.
"If we does, sir, we shall drive up to Southampton, or maybe, to
Redbridge, for there ain't an hair in all the 'eavens," was the
encouraging answer given by the master.
I never saw a more perfect calm. A candle was lighted on deck, and the
flame went straight up as if in a room. If we had been in a tropical
climate we should have looked out for a hurricane. Here nothing so
exciting was to be apprehended. The conversation with the master was
not overheard by any of the ladies, and Hearty thought it was as well to
say nothing about it, but to leave them to suppose that we were on our
way back to Cowes.
"It is much too dark to distinguish the shore, and as none of them ever
think of looking at the sails, they will not discover that we are still
at anchor," he observed; and so it proved, as we shall presently see.
The after-cabin had been devoted to the use of the fairer portion of the
guests, and when they got there and found the muddy condition of their
dresses, there was a general cry for hot water to wash them. Luckily
the cook's coppers could supply a good quantity, and two tubs were sent
aft, in which, as was afterwards reported--for we were not allowed to be
spectators of the process--the Honourable Mrs Topgallant and her
_protegees_ were busily employed in rinsing their skirts, though it was
not quite so easy a matter to dry them. Tea and coffee were next served
up in the main cabin, and cakes and muffins and toast in profusion were
produced, and as Carstairs quietly observed, "Never were washerwomen
more happy."
There was only one thing wanting, we had not sufficient milk; and that
there might be no scarcity in future, it was proposed to send the
steward on shore with Henry Flareup to swap him for a cow to be kept on
board instead. He was fixed on as the victim, as it was considered that
he had been making too much love to one of the Miss Sandons, conduct
altogether unbecoming one of his tender years.
"We have passed a very pleasant evening, Mr Hearty, I can assure you,"
said the chaperone; "and as I suppose we shall soon be there, we had
better get ready to go on shore."
"We shall have time for a dance first; we have had the deck cleared, and
the musicians are ready," replied Hearty; "may I have the honour of
opening the ball with you, Mrs Topgallant?"
"Oh, I don't know what to say to such a thing--I'm afraid it will be
very incorrect; and at all events you must excuse me, Mr Hearty, I
shall have quite enough to do to look after my charges."
And as Mrs Topgallant said this, she glanced round at the assembled
young ladies.
"A dance, a dance, by all means!" exclaimed the Miss Rattlers; "what
capital fun."
A dance was therefore agreed on, and we went on deck, which we found
illuminated with all the lanterns and spare lamps which could be found
on board; and even candles without any shade were stuck on the taffrail,
and the boom was topped up, so as to be completely out of the way. We
owed the arrangements to Bubble, Carstairs, and the master, who had been
busily employed while the rest were below at tea. An exclamation of
delight burst from the lips of the young ladies; the musicians struck up
a polka, and in another minute all hands were footing it away as gayly
as in any ball-room, and with far more merriment and freedom.
Ye gentlemen and ladies who stay at home at ease,
Ah, little do ye think upon the fun there's on the seas!
How we did dance! No one tired. Even Mrs Topgallant got up and took a
turn with the Gentle Giant, and very nearly went overboard, by the by.
We had no hot lamps, no suffocating perfumed atmosphere, to oppress us,
as in a London ball-room. The clear sky was our ceiling, the cool water
was around us. Every gentleman had danced with every lady, except that
Loring had taken more than his share with Miss Seaton, before we thought
of giving in.
"Well, I wonder we don't get there!" on a sudden exclaimed Mrs
Topgallant, as if something new had struck her.
There was a general laugh, set, I am sorry to say, by Sir Francis
Futtock.
"Why, my dear madam, we have not begun to go yet."
"Not begun to go!" cried the Miss Masons. "What will be said of us?"
"Not begun to go!" groaned the Rev Fred. "What will my flock do
without me?"
"Why, I thought we had been moving all the time. We have passed a
number of objects which I should have taken for ghosts, if I believed in
such things," said Mrs Topgallant.
"Those were vessels going up with the tide, my dear madam, to
Southampton, where we should have gone also," observed Sir Francis.
Just then a tall dark object came out of the gloom, and glided by us at
a little distance. It certainly had what one might suppose the
appearance of a spirit wandering over the face of the waters.
"Cutter, ahoy! What cutter is that?" hailed a voice from the stranger.
"It's one of them revenue chaps," said Snow. "The `Frolic' yacht;
Edward Hearty, Esq, owner!" answered the old man; "and be hanged to
you," he muttered.
"`I'll call thee king--father, royal Dane. Oh, answer me!'" continued
Carstairs.
"He'll not answer you--so avast spouting, and let's have another turn at
dancing!" exclaimed Hearty, interrupting the would-be actor, and
dragging him, to the side of Mrs Skyscraper, who did not refuse his
request to dance another quadrille.
Thus at it again we went, to the no small amusement of a number of
spectators, whose voices could be heard round us. Their boats were just
dimly visible, though, from the bright lights on our deck, we could not
see the human beings on board them. At last the rippling sound against
our bows ceasing, gave notice that the tide had slackened, and that we
might venture on lifting anchor. A light air also sprang up from the
eastward, and slowly we began to move on our right course. Some of the
un-nauticals, however, forgot that with an ebb tide and an easterly wind
there was not much chance of our reaching Cowes in a hurry. A thick fog
also began to rise from the calm water; and after the dancing, for fear
of their catching cold, cloaks and coats, plaids and shawls, were in
great requisition among the young ladies. Mrs Topgallant insisted that
they would all be laid up, and that they must go below till they got
into Cowes harbour.
"She was excessively angry," she said, "with Mr Hearty for keeping them
out in this way; and as for Sir Francis Futtock, a captain in Her
Majesty's navy, she was, indeed, surprised that such a thing could
happen while he was on board."
"But, my dear madam," urged Sir Francis, in his defence, "you know that
accidents will happen in the best-regulated families. Nobody asked my
Advice, and I could not venture to volunteer it, or I might have
foretold what has happened. However, come down below, and I trust no
harm will ensue."
After some persuasion, the good lady was induced to go below, and to
rest herself on a sofa in one of the sleeping-cabins, the door of which
Harry Flareup quietly locked, at a hint from Hearty, who then told the
young ladies that, as Cerberus was chained, they might now do exactly
what they liked. I must do them the justice to say that they behaved
very well. There was abundance of laughter, however, especially when
Miss Susan Rattler appeared habited in a large box-coat belonging to
Captain Carstairs. It had certainly nothing yachtish about it. It was
of a whitey-brown hue, with great horn buttons and vast pockets. It was
thoroughly roadish, it smelt of the road, its appearance was of the
road. It reminded one of the days of four-in-hand coaches; and many a
tale it could doubtless tell of Newmarket; of races run, of bets booked.
Not content with wearing the coat, Susan was persuaded to try a cigar.
She puffed away manfully for some time.
"You look a very jemmy young gent, indeed you do," observed the Gentle
Giant, looking up at her as he sat at her feet. "What would your mamma
say if she saw you?"
"What an odious custom you men have of smoking," cried Hearty,
pretending not to see who was the culprit.
"In the presence of ladies, too," exclaimed Loring, really ignorant of
the state of the case.
Poor Susan saw that she was laughed at, and, beginning probably at the
same time to feel a little sick from the fumes of the tobacco, she was
not sorry of an excuse for throwing Carstairs' best Havana into the
water.
As the fog settled over us rather heavily, not only were the more
delicate part of the company wrapped up in cloaks and shawls, but we got
up the blankets and counterpanes from the cabins, and swaddled them up
completely in them, while the gentlemen threw themselves along at their
feet, partly in a fit of romantic gallantry, and partly, it is just
possible, to assist in keeping themselves warm. Carstairs recited
Shakespeare all night long, and Loring sang some capital songs.
By this time we had got down to Calshot; and, as the tide was now
setting down pretty strong, we appeared to be going along at a good
rate.
"How soon shall we be in, captain?" asked one of the Miss Masons of the
skipper, who was at the helm.
"That depends, miss, whether a breeze comes before we get down to
Yarmouth or Hurst; because, if we keep on, we shan't be far off either
one or the other, before the tide turns," was the unsatisfactory answer.
"Keep on, by all means, Snow," exclaimed Hearty, who had not heard all
that was said; "I promised to do my best to get in, and we must keep at
it."
So tideward we went; the little wind there had been dropping altogether.
Presently we heard a hail.
"What cutter is that?"
"The `Frolic.'"
"Please, sir, we were sent out to look for you, to bring Mrs Topgallant
and Miss Masons, and some other ladies, on shore."
There was a great deal of talk, but Hearty had determined that no one
should leave the yacht. Mrs Topgallant was below, and could not be
disturbed; besides, the other young ladies could not be left without a
chaperone. The Miss Masons wanted to go in company with their pastor,
but it would not exactly do to be out in a boat alone with the Rev
Fred. As that gentleman was afraid of catching cold, he was at the time
safe below, and knew nothing of what was taking place, so the boat was
sent off without a freight. Hearty vowed that he would fire on any
other boat which came near us to carry off any of his guests. Thus the
night wore on.
It would be impossible to record all the witty things which were said,
all the funny things which were done, and all the laughter which was
laughed. All I can say is, that the ladies and gentlemen were about as
unlike as possible to what they would have been in town during the
season. Hour after hour passed rapidly away, and not a little surprised
were they when the bright streaks of dawn appeared in the eastern sky,
and Egypt Point was seen a long way off in the same direction, while the
vessel was found to be turning round and round without any steerage-way.
Now it was very wrong and very improper, and I don't mean for a moment
to defend our conduct, though, by the by, the fault was all Hearty's;
but it was not till half-past eleven of the next day that the party set
foot once more upon the shore. Never was there a merrier pic-nic; and,
what is more, in spite of wet feet and damp fogs, no one was a bit the
worse for it.
Looking in at the post-office, I found a letter summoning me immediately
to London.
Sending a note to Hearty, to tell him of my departure, I set off
forthwith, and reached the modern Babylon that same night. How black
and dull and dingy it looked; how hot it felt; how smoky it smelt! I
was never celebrated for being a good man of business; but on the
present occasion I worked with a will, and it was wonderful with what
rapidity I got through the matter in hand, and once more turned my back
on the mighty metropolis.