I arrived at King's Cross at 8.15 on the following morning, and after
breakfasting at the Midland Hotel, went straight to Fabian Scott's
chambers, in a street off the Hay-market. It was then a little after
half-past ten.
Fabian, who was at breakfast, received me very heartily, and was
grieved that I had not come direct to him.
'What would you have said,' he asked, 'if I had gone to have breakfast
at the Invercauld Arms in Ballater, instead of coming on to you?'
'That's not quite the same thing, my impetuous young friend. You
didn't expect me, for one thing, and London is a place where one must
be a little more careful of one's behaviour than in the wilds.'
'No, that is true, I did not expect you; though when I heard your
name, I was so pleased I thought I must have been living on the
expectation for the last month.'
'Out of sight, out of mind, according to the simple old saying.'
I was looking about me, examining my friend's surroundings, feeling
discouraged by the portraits of beautiful women, photographs on the
mantelpiece, paintings on the walls, the invitation cards stuck in the
looking-glass, the crested envelopes, freshly torn, on the table; the
room, which seemed effeminately luxurious, after my sombre,
threadbare, old study, gave no evidence of bachelor desolation. It was
just untidy enough to prove that 'when a man's single he lives at his
ease,' for an opera hat and a soiled glove lay on the chair, a new
French picture, which a wife would have tabooed, was propped up
against the back of another, and on the mantelpiece was a royal
disorder, in which a couple of pink clay statuettes of pierrettes, by
Van der Straeten, showed their piquant, high-hatted little heads, and
their befrilled, high-lifted little skirts above letters, ash trays,
cigarette cases, 'parts' in MS., sketches, a white tie, a woman's long
glove, the 'proof' of an article on 'The Cathedrals of Spain,' and a
heap of other things. In the centre stood a handsome Chippendale
clock, surmounted by signed photographs of Sarah Bernhardt and a much
admired Countess. Fresh hot-house flowers filled two delicate Venetian
glass vases on the table, long-leaved green plants stood in the
windows. I began to suspect that the feminine influence in Fabian
Scott's life was strong enough already, and I felt that any idea of
an appeal to a bachelor's sense of loneliness must straightway be
given up. There was another point, however, on which I felt more
sanguine. Fabian had no private means, his tastes were evidently
expensive, and he had had no engagement since the summer. Having made
up my mind that to marry my little Babiole to this man was the only
thing that would restore her to health and hope (about happiness I
could but be doubtful), I could not afford to shrink from the means.
I had been listening with one ear to Fabian, who never wanted much
encouragement to talk. He treated me to a long monologue on the low
ebb to which art of all kinds had sunk in England, to the prevailing
taste for burlesque in literature, and on the stage, and for 'Little
Toddlekins' on the walls of picture galleries.
'I thought burlesque had gone out,' I suggested.
He turned upon me fiercely, having finished his breakfast, and being
occupied in striding up and down the room.
'Not at all,' he said emphatically. 'What is farcical comedy but
burlesque of the most vicious kind? Burlesque of domestic life,
throwing ridicule on virtuous wives and jealous husbands, making
heroes and heroines of men and women of loose morals? What is
melodrama but burlesque of incidents and of passions, fatiguing to the
eye and stupefying to the intellect? I repeat, art in England is a
dishonoured corpse, and the man who dares to call himself an artist,
and to talk about his art with any more reverence than a grocer feels
for his sanded sugar, or a violin-seller for his sham Cremonas, is
treated with the derision one would show to a modern Englishman who
should fall down and worship a mummy.'
All which, being interpreted, meant that Mr. Fabian Scott saw no
immediate prospect of an engagement good enough for his deserts.
'Well, even if art is in a bad way, artists still seem to rub on very
comfortably,' I said, glancing round the room.
Fabian swept the place with a contemptuous glance from right to left,
as if it had been an ill-kept stable.
'One finds a corner to lay one's head in, of course,' he admitted
disdainfully; 'but even that may be gone to-morrow,' he added darkly,
plunging one hand into a suggestive heap of letters and papers on a
side table as he passed it.
'Bills?' I asked cheerfully.
He gave me a tragic nod and strode on.
'You should marry,' I ventured boldly, 'some girl with seven or eight
hundred a year, for instance, with a little love of art on her own
account to support yours.'
Fabian stopped in front of me with his arms folded. He was the most
unstagey actor on the stage, and the stagiest off I ever met. He gave
a short laugh, tossing back his head.
'A girl with seven hundred a year marry _me_, an _artist_! My dear
fellow, you have been in Sleepy Hollow too long. You form your
opinions of life on the dark ages.'
'No I don't,' I said very quietly. 'I know a girl with eight hundred a
year, who likes you well enough to marry you if you were to ask her.'
'These rapid modern railway journeys--A heavy breakfast--with perhaps
a glass of cognac on an empty stomach'--murmured Fabian softly, gazing
at me with kindly compassion.
'She is seventeen, the daughter of an artist, an artist herself by
every instinct. Her name is Babiole Ellmer,' I went on composedly.
Fabian started.
'Babiole Ellmer! Pretty little Babiole!' he cried, with affectionate
interest at once apparent in his manner; 'but,' he hesitated and
flushed slightly, 'I don't understand. The little girl--dear little
thing she was, I remember her quite well, with her coquettish Scotch
cap and her everlasting blushes. She was no heiress then, certainly.'
A bitter little thought of the different manner in which he would have
treated her in that case crossed my mind. 'I've adopted her. I allow
her eight hundred a year during my life, and of course afterwards----'
I nodded; he nodded. It was all understood. Fabian had grown suddenly
quiet and thoughtful, and I knew that Babiole had gained her precious
admirer's heart. He liked her, that was my comfort, my excuse. His
face had lighted up at the remembrance of her; and as she would bring
with her an income large enough to prevent his being even burdened
with her maintenance, I felt that I was heaping upon his head too much
joy for a mortal to deserve, and that he accepted it more calmly than
was meet. It is a curious experience to have to be thankful to see
another person receive, almost with indifference, a prize for which
one would gladly have given twenty years of life.
'She is a most beautiful and charming girl,' he said, after a pause,
in a new tone of respect. Eight hundred a year and 'expectations' put
such a splendid mantle of dignity on the shoulders of a little wild
damsel in a serge frock. 'Do you know, I thought, Harry, you would end
by marrying her yourself!'
I only laughed and said, oh no, I was a confirmed bachelor. But it was
in my mind to tell him how much obliged I felt for his contribution
towards my domestic felicity.
I presently said that I had some business to transact, that I had to
pay a visit to my lawyer. This young man's complacent beatitude since
he had discovered a not unpleasant way out of his difficulties was
beginning to jar upon me furiously. So we made an appointment for the
evening, and I took myself off.
When I made my excuse to Fabian I really had some idea in my mind of
calling upon a solicitor and having a deed drawn up, settling L800 a
year on Babiole. But I reflected, as soon as I was alone, that I
should make a better guardian than the law, and that I should do as
well to keep control over her allowance. I would alter my will on her
wedding-day, just as I must have done if it had been my own. A trace
of cowardice strengthened this resolution, for I look upon a visit to
a lawyer much as I do upon a visit to a dentist, with this difference,
that the latter really does sometimes relieve you of your pain, while
the former relieves you of nothing but your money.
So I found myself wandering about my old haunts, glancing up at the
windows of clubs of which I had once been a member, and feeling a
strong desire to enter their doors once more, and see what change
eight years had brought about in my old acquaintances. I had long ago
lost all acute sensitiveness about my own altered appearance; there
was so very little in common between the 'Handsome Harry' of
twenty-four and the scarred gray-haired backwoodsman of thirty-two,
that I looked upon them as two distinct persons, and I remained for a
few moments confounded by my exceeding astonishment, when a familiar
voice cried, 'Hallo, Maude!' and I found my hand in the grasp of an
important-looking gentleman, who, as a slim lad, had been one of my
constant companions. He now represented a small Midland town in
Parliament, in the Conservative interest, seemed amazed that I had not
heard of his speech in favour of increasing the incomes of bishops,
and confided to me his hopes of getting an appointment in the Foreign
Office when 'his party' came into power again. I said I hoped he
would, but I inwardly desired that it might not be a post of great
responsibility, for I found my friend addle-patted to an extent I had
never dreamed of in the old days, when we backed the same horses and
loved the same ladies. He insisted on taking me into the Carlton,
where I met some more of the old set, who all seemed glad to see me,
but with whom I now felt curiously out of sympathy. It was not so
much that my politics had veered round, as that, living an independent
and isolated life, I was not bound to hold fast to traditions and
prejudices, like these men who were in the thick of the fight. I had
gone into the club seeking distraction from my thoughts, trying to
reawaken my old sympathies. I went out again after an hour of animated
and friendly talk with my acquaintances of eight years ago, more
solitary, more isolated than ever. Yet when they had tried to persuade
me to come back to life again, being all of opinion that existence by
one's self in the Highlands was tantamount to a state of suspended
animation, I had answered it was not unlikely that I might do so.
For the game must be carried on still when Babiole was married; but
not with the old rules.
I had another interview with Fabian that evening, for we dined at the
Criterion together. It was arranged that he should spend Christmas at
Larkhall with me, and it was tacitly understood that he would use this
opportunity of assuring Miss Ellmer that her image had never been
absent from his mind, and that he could have no rest until she had
promised to become his wife at an early date.
I left King's Cross by the nine o'clock train that night, having
decided on this course suddenly, when I found I was in too restless a
mood to be able to get either sleep or entertainment in London.
Arriving at Aberdeen at 2.15 on the following afternoon, I caught the
three o'clock train to Ballater, and got to Larkhall before six. It
was quite dark by that time, and the lamp was shining through the
blind of the sitting-room window at the cottage. I knocked at the
door, which was opened by Babiole; she held a candle in her left hand,
and by its light I saw her eyes and cheeks were burning with
excitement.
'I knew your knock,' she said tremulously, as she gave me a hot dry
hand, 'though I did not expect you so soon.'
Here Mrs. Ellmer rushed out of the sitting-room, fell upon me, and
insisted upon my sitting down to tea with them.
'And how have you been since I left?' I said to the girl.
'Don't ask, Mr. Maude,' interrupted her mother. 'I'm sure you would
have felt flattered if you could have seen her. She's been just like a
wild bird in a cage, never still for two minutes, and half the time
with her face glued to the window, cold as it is; as if that would
make you come back any faster.'
Babiole hung her head; she may have blushed, poor child, but her
cheeks had been so hot and burning ever since my entrance, that no
deepening of their colour could be noticed. I concluded that she had
given no hint to her mother of her surmises concerning the object of
my journey.
'Well,' said I, 'leading such solitary lives as we do up here, of
course the absence of one person makes a great difference. In fact, my
own solitude has begun to prey upon me so much, that--that I rushed up
to London on purpose to try to find a friend to spend Christmas up
here, and make things livelier for us all.'
'Well,' said Mrs. Ellmer, 'that is an idea, to be sure. I confess I
have been eaten up with wonder at your suddenly going off like that,
and have been guessing myself quite silly as to the reason of it.'
'And did Babiole guess too?' I asked lightly, looking at the girl, who
sat very quietly, with her eyes fixed upon my face.
'Oh no, she has given up all such childish amusements as that,' said
Mrs. Ellmer rather sadly. 'There would never be so much as a laugh to
be heard in the place now if I didn't keep up my spirits.'
'Well, she must open her mouth now, at any rate. Now, Babiole, can you
guess who it is who is coming to spend Christmas with us?'
In an instant the strained expression left her face, a great light
flashed into her eyes, and seemed to irradiate every feature.
'I think you have guessed,' said I gently.
She got up quickly and opened the sideboard, as if looking for
something; but I think, from the attitude of her bent head, and from
the solemn peace that was on her face when she returned to us, that
she had followed her first impulse to breathe a silent thanksgiving to
God.
'Will you have some quince-marmalade, Mr. Maude?' she asked, as she
came back to the table with a little glass dish in her hand.
And she leaned over my shoulder to help me to the preserve, while her
mother, who had guessed with great glee the name of my Christmas
visitor, was still overflowing with exultation at the great news. For
she did not once doubt the object of his coming, which, indeed, I had
suggested by a delicate archness in which I took some pride.
Shortly after tea I rose to go, being tired out with my two rapid and
sleepless journeys. Mrs. Ellmer bade me good-night with kind concern
for my fatigue.
'Indeed, I don't think travelling agrees with you, or else you tried
to do too much in your short visit, for you look drawn, and worn, and
ill, and ten years older than when you started,' she said
solicitously.
'Yes, I'm getting too old for dissipation,' I said lightly.
Babiole was standing by the door; she was watching me affectionately,
and had evidently some private and particular communication to make to
me, by the impatience with which she rattled the door-handle. At last
I had shaken hands with Mrs. Ellmer and had got out into the passage.
The girl shut the room door quickly and threw herself upon my arm,
giving at last free rein to her excitement and passionate gratitude.
The gaze of her pure eyes, shining, not with earthly passion, but with
the ecstatic light of a dying saint, who sees the heavens opening to
receive him, struck a new fear into my heart. The happiness this
child-woman looked for was something which Fabian Scott, artist though
he was, with splendid verbal aspirations and chivalrous devotions,
would not even understand. As she poured forth soft whispering thanks
for my goodness--she knew it was all my doing, she said; she had even
guessed beforehand what I was going to do--I felt my eyes grow moist
and my voice husky.
'My child,' I whispered back, 'don't thank me. It hurts me, for I am
not sure that I am not bringing upon you a great and terrible
misfortune.'
'Don't be afraid,' she said, shaking her head with that far-off look
in her eyes which told so plainly that she saw into a life which could
not be lived on earth; 'you think I am romantic, fanciful; that I
expect more from this man than his love can ever give me. Oh, but you
don't know,' and she looked straight up into my face, with that
piercing dreamy earnestness that made her see, not the yearning
tenderness of the eyes into which she looked, but only the kind
guardian's mind to be convinced. 'You don't know how well I
understand. He would never have thought of me again if you had not
gone to him and said--I don't know what, but just the thing you knew
would touch him, with pity or with pride that a poor little girl could
love him so.' I almost shivered at the dreary distance which lay
between this surmise and the truth. 'But I don't mind; I know that I
love him so much, that when he knows and feels what I would do for
him, it will make him happy. You know,' she went on more earnestly
still, 'it isn't for him to love me that I have been craving and
praying all this time, it was for a sight of his face, or for a letter
that he had written himself with his own hand.'
She took my sympathy with her for granted now, and poured this
confession out to me quite simply, feeling sure that I understood, as
indeed I did to my cost. But after this I thought it wise to try to
calm down this exultation of feeling, by certain grandmotherly
platitudes about the difficulties of married life, the disillusions
one had to suffer, the forbearance one had to show, to all of which
she listened very submissively and well, but with an evident
conviction that she knew quite as much about the matter as I did. Then
I bade her good-night, and she stood in the porch, wrapt up in her
plaid, until I had reached my own door, for I heard her clear young
voice sing out a last 'good-night' as I went in.
Poor little girl! She could not know how her gratitude cut me to the
heart.