AN AVOWAL.
After some little time, Lady Albina, having missed Miss Beaufort,
expressed a wish to walk out in search of her, and the two brothers
offered their attendance. But before her ladyship had passed through
the first park, she complained of fatigue. Pembroke urged her to
enter a shepherd's hut close by, whilst the Count Sobieski would
proceed alone in quest of his cousin.
With a beating heart Thaddeus undertook this commission. Hastening
along the nearest dell with the lightness of a young hunter, he
mounted the heights, descended to the glades, traversed one woody
nook and then another, but could see no trace of Miss Beaufort.
Supposing she had returned to the house, he was slackening his pace
to abandon the search, when he caught a glimpse of her figure as she
turned the corner of a thicket leading to a terrace above. In an
instant he was at her side, and with his hat in his hand, and a
glowing cheek, he repeated his errand.
Mary blushed, faltered, and became strangely alarmed at finding
herself alone with him. Though he now stood before her in a quality
which she ever believed was his right, the remembrance of what had
passed between them in other circumstances confounded and overwhelmed
her. When Constantine was poor and unfriended, it seemed a sacred
privilege to pity and to love him. When the same Constantine appeared
as a man of rank, invested with a splendid fortune and extensive
fame, she felt lost--annihilated. The cloud which had obscured, not
extinguished, his glory was dispersed. He was that Sobieski whom she
had admired unseen; he was that Constantine whom she had loved
unknown; he was that Sobieski, that Constantine, whom, seen and
known, she now, alas! loved almost to adoration!
Oppressed by the weight of these emotions, she only bowed to what he
said, and gathering her cloak from the winds which blew it around
her, was hurrying with downward eyes to the stairs of the terrace,
when her foot slipped, and she must have fallen, had not Thaddeus
caught her in his ready arm. She rose with a blushing face, and the
color did not recede when she found that he had not relinquished her
hand. Her heart beat violently, her head became giddy, her feet lost
their power. Finding that, after a slight attempt to withdraw her
hand, he still held it fast, though in a trembling grasp, and nearly
overcome by inexplicable distress, she turned away her face to
conceal its confusion.
Thaddeus saw all this, and with a fluttering hope, instead of
surrendering the hand he had retained, he made it a yet closer
prisoner by clasping it in both his. Pressing it earnestly to his
breast, he said in a hurried voice, whilst his earnest eyes poured
all their beams upon her averted cheek, "Surely Miss Beaufort will
not deny me the dearest happiness I possess--the privilege of being
grateful to her?"
He paused: his soul was too full for utterance; and raising Mary's
hand from his heart to his lips, he kissed it fervently. Almost
fainting, Miss Beaufort leaned her head against a tree of the thicket
where they were standing. The thought of the confession which
Pembroke had extorted from her, and dreading that its fullness might
have been imparted to him, and that all this was rather the tribute
of gratitude than of love, she waved her other hand in sign for him
to leave her.
Such extraordinary confusion in her manner palsied the warm and
blissful emotions of the count. He, too, began to blame the sanguine
representation of his friend; and fearing that he had offended her,
that she might suppose he presumed on her kindness, he stood for a
moment in silent astonishment; then dropping on his knee, (hardly
conscious of the action,) declared in an agitated voice his sense of
having given this offence; at the same time he ventured to repeat,
with equally modest energy, the soul-devoted passion he had so long
endeavored to seal up in his lonely breast.
"But forgive me!" added he, with increased earnestness; "forgive me,
in justice to your own virtues. In what has just passed, I feel I
ought to have only expressed thanks for your goodness to an
unfortunate exile; but if my words or manner have obeyed the more
fervid impulse of my soul, and declared aloud what is its glory in
secret, blame my nature, most respected Miss Beaufort, not my
presumption. I have not dared to look steadily on any aim higher than
your esteem."
Mary knew not how to receive this address. The position in which he
uttered it, his countenance when she turned to answer him, were both
demonstrative of something less equivocal than his speech. He was
still grasping the drapery of her cloak, and his eyes, from which the
wind blew back his fine hair, were beaming upon her full of that
piercing tenderness which at once dissolves and assures the soul.
She passed her hand over her eyes. Her soul was in a tumult. She too
fondly wished to believe that he loved her to trust the evidence of
what she saw. His words were ambiguous, and that was sufficient to
fill her with uncertainty. Jealous of that delicacy which is the
parent of love, and its best preserver, she checked the over-flowings
of her heart, and whilst her concealed face streamed with tears,
conjured him to rise. Instinctively she held out her hand to assist
him. He obeyed; and hardly conscious of what she said, she continued--
"You have done nothing, Count Sobieski, to offend me. I was fearful
of my own conduct--that you might have supposed--I mean, unfortunate
appearances might lead you to imagine that I was influenced--was so
forgetful of myself--"
"Cease, madam! Cease, for pity's sake!" cried Thaddeus starting back,
and dropping her hand. Every motion which faltered on her tongue had
met an answering pang in his breast.
Fearing that he had set his heart on the possession of a treasure
totally out of his reach, he knew not how high had been his hope
until he felt the depth of his despair. Taking up his hat, which lay
on the grass, with a countenance from which every gleam of joy was
banished, he bowed respectfully, and in a lower tone continued: "The
dependent situation in which I appeared at Lady Dundas's being ever
before my eyes, I was not so absurd as to suppose that any lady could
then notice me from any other sentiment than humanity. That I excited
this humanity, where alone I was proud to awaken it, was, in these
hours of dejection, my sole comfort. It consoled me for the friends I
had lost; it repaid me for the honors which were no more. But that is
past! Seeing no further cause for compassion, you deem the delusion
no longer necessary. Since you will not allow me an individual
distinction in having attracted your benevolence, though I am to
ascribe it all to a charity as diffused as effective, yet I must ever
acknowledge with the deepest gratitude that I owe my present home and
happiness to Miss Beaufort. Further than this, I shall not--I dare
not--presume."
These words shifted all the count's anguish to Mary's breast. She
perceived the offended delicacy which actuated each syllable as it
fell; and fearful of having lost everything by her cold and what
might appear haughty reply, she opened her lips to say what might
better explain her meaning; but her heart failing her, she closed
them again, and continued to walk in silence by his side. Having
allowed the opportunity to escape, she believed that all hopes of
exculpation were at an end. Not daring to look up, she cast a
despairing glance at Sobieski's graceful figure, as he walked,
equally silent, near her. His arms were folded, his hat pulled over
his forehead, and his long dark eyelashes, shading his downward eyes,
imparted a dejection to his whole air which wrapped her weeping heart
round and round with regretful pangs. "Ah!" thought she, "though the
offspring of but one moment, they will prey on my peace forever."
At the turning of a little wooded knoll, the mute and pensive pair
heard the sound of some one on the other side, approaching them
through the dry leaves. In a minute after Sir Robert Somerset
appeared.
Whilst his father advanced smiling towards him, Thaddeus attempted to
dispel the gloom of his countenance, but not succeeding, he bowed
abruptly to the agitated Mary, and hastily said, "I will leave Miss
Beaufort in your protection, sir, and go myself to see whether Lady
Albina be recovered from her fatigue."
"I thought to find you all together," returned Sir Robert; "where is
her ladyship?"
"I left her with Pembroke, in a hut by the river," said Thaddeus, and
bowing again, he hurried away, whilst his father called after him to
return in a few minutes, and accompany him in a walk.
The departure of Sobieski, when he had come expressly to attend her
to Lady Albina, nearly overwhelmed Miss Beaufort's before exhausted
spirits. Hardly knowing whether to remain or retreat, she was
attempting the latter, when her guardian caught her hand.
"Stay, Mary!" cried he; "you surely would not leave me alone?"
Miss Beaufort's tears had gushed over her eyes the moment her back
was turned, and as Sir Robert drew her towards him, to his extreme
amazement he saw that she was weeping. At a sight so unexpected, the
smile of hilarity left his lips. Putting his arm tenderly round her
waist, (for now that her distress had discovered itself, her emotion
became so great that she could hardly stand,) he inquired in a kindly
manner what had affected her.
She answered by sobs only, until finding it impossible to break away
from her uncle's arms, she hid her face in his bosom and gave vent to
the full tide of her tears.
Recollecting the strange haste in which Thaddeus had hurried from
them, and remembering Miss Beaufort's generosity to him in town,
followed by her succeeding melancholy, Sir Robert at once united
these circumstances with her present confusion, and conceiving an
instantaneous suspicion of the reality, pressed her with redoubled
affection to his bosom.
"I fear, my dearest girl," said he, "that something disagreeable has
happened between you and the Count Sobieski. Perhaps he has offended
you? perhaps he has found my sweet Mary too amiable?"
Alarmed at this supposition, after a short struggle she answered, "O
no, sir! It is I who have offended him. He thinks I pride myself on
the insignificant services I rendered to him in London."
This reply convinced the baronet that he had not been pre-mature in
his judgment, and, with a new-born delight springing in his soul, he
inquired why she thought so? Had she given him any reason to believe
so?
Mary trembled at saying more.--Dreading that every word she might
utter would betray how highly she prized the count's esteem, she
faltered, hesitated, stopped. Sir Robert put the question a second
time, in different terms.
"My loved Mary," said he, seating her by him on the trunk of a fallen
tree, "I am sincerely anxious that you and this young nobleman should
regard each other as friends. He is very dear to me; and you cannot
doubt, my sweet girl, my affection for yourself. Tell me, therefore,
the cause of this little misunderstanding."
Miss Beaufort took courage at this speech. Drying her glowing eyes,
though still concealing them with a handkerchief, she replied in a
firmer voice, "I believe, sir, the fault lies totally on my side. The
Count Sobieski met me on the terrace, and thanked me for what I had
done for him. I acted very weakly; I was confused. Indeed I knew not
what he said; but he fell upon his knees, and I became so
disconcerted, so frightened at the idea of his having attributed my
conduct to indelicacy, or forwardness, that I answered something
which offended him, and I am sure he now thinks me unfeeling and
proud."
Sir Robert kissed her throbbing forehead, as she ended this rapid and
hardly-articulated explanation.
"Tell me candidly, my dearest Mary!" rejoined the baronet, "can you
believe that a man of Sobieski's disposition would bend his knee to a
woman whom he did not both respect and love? Simple gratitude, my
dear girl, is not so earnest. You have said enough to convince me,
whatever may be your sentiments, that you are the mistress of his
fate; and if he should mention it to me, may I describe to him the
scene which has now passed between us? May I tell him that its just
inference would requite his tenderness with more than your thanks and
best wishes?"
Miss Beaufort, who believed that the count must now despise her,
looked down to conceal the wretchedness which spoke through her eyes,
and with a half-suppressed sigh, answered, "I will not deny that I
deeply esteem the Count Sobieski. I admired his character before I
saw him, and when I did see him, although ignorant that it was he,
the impression seemed the same. Yet I never aspired to any place in
his heart, or even his remembrance; I could not have the presumption.
Therefore, my dear uncle," added she, laying her trembling hand on
his arm, "I beseech you, as you value my feelings, my peace of mind,
never to breathe a syllable of my weakness to him. I think," added
she, clasping her hands with energy, and forgetting the force of her
expression, "I would sooner suffer death than lose his respect."
"And yet," inquired Sir Robert, "you will at some future period give
your hand to another man?"
Mary, who did not consider the extent of this insidious question,
answered with fervor, "Never! I never can be happier than I am,"
added she, with breathless haste. Seeing, by the smile on Sir
Robert's lips, that far more had been declared by her manner than her
words intended, and fearful of betraying herself further, she begged
permission to retire to the house.
The baronet took her hand, and reseating her by him, continued, "No,
my Mary; you shall not leave me unless you honestly avow what your
sentiments are towards the Count Sobieski. You know, my sweet girl,
that I have tried to make you regard me as a father--to induce you to
receive from my love the treble affection of your deceased parents
and my lamented wife. If her dear niece do not deny this, she cannot
treat me with reserve."
Miss Beaufort was unable to speak. Sir Robert proceeded:
"I will not overwhelm your shrinking delicacy by repeating the
inquiry whether I have mistaken the source of your recent and present
emotion; only allow me to bestow some encouragement on the count's
attachment, should he claim my services in its behalf."
Mary drew her uncle's hand to her lips, and whilst her dropping tears
fell upon it, she threw herself, like a confiding child, on her
knees, and replied in a timid voice: "I should be a monster of
ingratitude could I hide anything from you, my dearest sir, after
this goodness! I confess that I do regard the Count Sobieski more
than any being on earth. Who could see and know him and think it
possible to become another's?"
"And you shall be his, my darling Mary!" cried the baronet, mingling
his own blissful tears with hers. "I once hoped to have contrived an
attachment between you and Pembroke, but Heaven has decreed it
better. When you and Thaddeus are united, I shall be happy; I may
then die in peace."
Miss Beaufort sighed heavily. She could not yet quite participate in
her uncle's rapture. She thought that she had insulted and disgusted
the count by her late behavior, beyond his excuse, and was opening
her lips to urge it again, when the object of their conversation
appeared at a short distance, coming towards them.
Full of renewed trepidation, she burst from the baronet's hand, and
taking to flight, left her uncle to meet Sobieski alone.
Sir Robert's anxious question on the same subject received a more
rapid reply from Thaddeus than had proceeded from the reluctant Miss
Beaufort. The animated gratitude of Sobieski, the ardent yet
respectful manner with which he avowed her eminence in his heart
above all other women, convinced the baronet that Mary's retreating
delicacy had misinformed her. A complete explanation was the
consequence; and Thaddeus, who had not been more sanguine in his
hopes than was his lovely mistress in hers, now allowed the clouds
over his so lately darkened eyes to disappear.
Impatient to see these two beings, so dear to his soul, repose
confidently in each other's affection, the moment Sir Robert returned
to the house, he asked his sister for Miss Beaufort. Miss Dorothy
replied that she had seen her about half an hour ago retire to her
own apartments; the baronet, therefore, sent a servant to beg that
she would meet him in the library.
This message found her in a paroxysm of distress. She reproached
herself for her imprudence, her temerity, her unwomanly conduct, in
having given away her heart to a man who she again began to torment
herself by believing had never desired it. She remembered that her
weakness, not her sincerity, had betrayed this humiliating secret to
Sir Robert; and nearly distracted, she lay on the bed, almost hoping
that she was in a miserable dream, when her maid entered with the
baronet's commands.
Disdaining herself, and determining to regain some portion of her own
respect by steadily opposing all her uncle's deluding hopes, with an
assumed serenity she arrived at the study-door. She laid her hand on
the lock, but the moment it yielded to her touch, all her firmness
vanished. Trembling, and pale as death, she appeared before him.
Sir Robert, having supported her to a chair, with the most
affectionate and tender expressions of paternal exultation repeated
to her the sum of his conversation with the count. Mary was almost
wild at this discourse. So inconsistent and erratic is the passion of
love, when it reigns in woman's breast, she forgot in an instant the
looks and voice of Thaddeus; she forgot her terror of having
forfeited his affection by her affected coldness alone; and dreading
that the first proposal of their union had proceeded from her uncle,
she buried her agitated face in her hands, and exclaimed, "O sir! I
fear that you have made me forever hateful in my own eyes and
despicable in those of the Count Sobieski!"
Sir Robert looked on her emotion with a smiling but a pitying gaze,
reading in all the unaffected apprehensive modesty of that noble
maiden's heart.
"Well," cried he, in a gentle raillery of tone, "my own beloved one!
if thy guardian uncle cannot prevail over this wayward fancifulness,
so unlike his ingenuous Mary's usual fair dealing with the truth of
others. I must call in even a better-accredited pleader, and shall
then leave my object, the balance of justice and mercy, in equally
beloved hands."
While he spoke, he rose and opened a door that led to an adjoining
room. Miss Beaufort would have flown through another had not Sir
Robert suddenly stood in her way. He threw his arm about her, and
turning round, she saw the count, who had entered, regarding her with
an anxiety which covered her before pale features with blushes.
His father bade him come near. Sobieski obeyed, though with a step
that expressed how reluctant he was to oppress the woman he so truly
loved. Mary's face was now hidden in her uncle's bosom. Sir Robert
put her trembling hand into that of his son, who, dropping on his
knee, said, in an agitated voice, "Honored, dearest Miss Beaufort!
may I indulge myself in the idea that I am blessed with your regard?"
She could not reply, but whispered to her uncle, "Pray, sir, desire
him to rise! I am overwhelmed."
"My sweet Mary!" returned the baronet, pressing her to his breast,
"this is no time for deception on either side. I know both your
hearts. Rise, Thaddeus," said he to the count, whilst he locked both
their hands within his. "Take him, Mary! Receive from your guardian
his most precious gift--my matchless and injured son."
The abruptness of the first part of this speech might have shocked
her exhausted spirits to insensibility, had not the extraordinary
assertion at its end, and Sir Robert's audible sobs, aroused and
surprised her.
"Your son!" exclaimed she; "what do you mean, my uncle?"
"Thaddeus will explain all to you," returned he. "May Heaven bless
you both!"
Mary was too much astonished to think of following her agitated uncle
out of the room. She sunk on a seat, and turning her gaze full of
amazement towards the count, seemed to ask an explanation. Thaddeus,
who still retained her passive hand, pressed it warmly to his heart;
and whilst his effulgent eyes were beaming on her with joyous love,
he imparted to her a concise but impressive narrative of his
relationship with Sir Robert. He touched with short yet deep
enthusiasm, with more than one tearful pause, on the virtues of his
mother; he acknowledged the unbounded gratitude which was due to that
God who had so wonderfully conducted him to find a parent and a home
in England, and with renewed pathos of look and manner ratified the
proffer which Sir Robert had made of his heart and hand to her who
alone on this earth had reminded him of that angelic parent. "I nave
seen her beloved face, luminous in purity and tender pity, reflected
in yours, ever-honored Miss Beaufort, when your noble heart, more
than once, looked in compassion on her son. And I then felt, with a
wondering bewilderment, a sacred response in my soul, though I could
not explain it to myself. But since then that sister spirit of my
mother has often whispered it as if direct from heaven."
Mary had listened with uncontrollable emotion to this interesting
detail. Her eyes overflowed: their ingenuous language, enforced by
the warm blood which glowed on her cheek, did not require the medium
of words to declare what was passing in her mind. Thaddeus gazed on
her with a certainty of bliss which penetrated his soul until its
raptures almost amounted to pain. The heart may ache with joy;
neither sighs nor language could express what passed in his mind. He
held her hand to his lips; his other arm fell unconsciously round her
waist, and in a moment he found that he had pressed her to his
breast. His heart beat violently. Miss Beaufort rose instantaneously
from her chair; but her pure nature needed no disguise. She looked up
to him, whilst her blushing eyes were shedding tears of delight, and
said in a trembling voice: "Tell my dear uncle that Mary Beaufort
glories in the means by which she becomes his daughter."
She moved to the door. Thaddeus, whose full tide of transport denied
him utterance, only clasped her hands again to his lips and bosom;
then, relinquishing them, he suffered her to quit the room.