PASSION AND PRINCIPLE.
This interview induced Lady Tinemouth to destroy the note she had
written to Thaddeus, and to frame another, better calculated to
produce comfort to all parties. What she had declared to Mary
respecting the state of the count's affections was sincere.
She had early pierced the veil of bashfulness with which Miss
Beaufort overshadowed, when in his presence, that countenance so
usually the tablet of her soul. The countess easily translated the
quick receding of her eye whenever Thaddeus turned his attention
towards her, the confused reply that followed any unexpected question
from his lips, and, above all, the unheeded sighs heaved by her when
he left the room, or when his name was mentioned during his absence.
These symptoms too truly revealed to Lady Tinemouth the state of her
young friend's bosom.
But the circumstances being different, her observations on Thaddeus
were not nearly so conclusive. Mary had absolutely given the empire
of her happiness, with her heart, into his hands. Thaddeus felt that
his ruined hopes ought to prevent him laying his at her feet, could
he even be made to believe that he had found any favor in her sight!
and regarding her as a being beyond his reach, he conceived no
suspicions that she entertained one dearer thought of him than what
mere philanthropy could authorize.
He contemplated her unequalled beauty, graces, talents and virtues
with an admiration bordering on idolatry! yet his heart flew from the
confession that he loved her; and it was not until reason demanded of
his sincerity why he felt a pang on seeing Mary's purse in the hands
of Mr. Lascelles, that with a glowing cheek he owned to himself that
he was jealous: that although he had not presumed to elevate one wish
towards the possession of Miss Beaufort, yet when Lascelles flaunted
her name on his tongue, he found how deep would be the wound in his
peace should she ever give her hand to another than himself!
Confounded at this discovery of a passion the seeds of which he
supposed had been crushed by the weight of his misfortunes and the
depths of his griefs, he proceeded homewards in a trance of thought,
not far differing from that of the dreamer who sinks into a harassing
slumber, and, filled with terror, doubts whether he be sleeping or
awake.
The sudden illness of General Butzou having put these ideas to
flight, Thaddeus was sitting on the bedside, with his anxious
thoughts fixed on the pale spectacle of mortality before him, when
Nanny brought in a letter from the countess. He took it, and going to
the window, read with mingled feelings the folding epistle:--
"TO MR. CONSTANTINE."
I know not, my dear count, when I shall be permitted to see you
again: perhaps never on this side of the grave!
"Since Heaven has denied me the tenderness of my own children, it
would have been a comfort to me might I have continued to act a
parent's part by you. But my cruel lord, and my more cruel son,
jealous of the consolation I meet in the society of my few intimate
friends, command me to quit London; and as I have ever made it a rule
to conform to their injunctions to the furthest extent of my power, I
shall go.
"It pierces me to the soul, my dear son! (allow my maternal heart to
call you by that name) it distresses me deeply that I am compelled to
leave the place where you are, and the more that I cannot see you
before my departure, for I quit town early to-morrow.
"Write to me often, my loved Sobieski; your letters will be some
alleviation to my lot during the fulfilment of my hard duty.
"Wear the enclosed gold chain for my sake; it is one of two given me
a long time ago by Miss Beaufort. If I have not greatly mistaken you,
the present will now possess a double value in your estimation:
indeed it ought. Sensibility and thankfulness being properties of
your nature, they will not deny a lively gratitude to the generous
interest with which that amiable and noble young woman regards your
fate. It is impossible that the avowed Count Sobieski (whom, a year
ago, I remember her animated fancy painted in colors worthy of his
actions) could excite more of her esteem than I know she has bestowed
on the untitled Constantine.
"She is all nobleness and affection. For, although I am sensible that
she would leave much behind her in London to regret, she insists on
accompanying me to the Wolds. Averse to transgress so far on her
goodness, I firmly refused her offer until this evening, when I
received so warm and urgent a letter from her disinterested, generous
heart, that I could no longer withhold my grateful assent.
"Indeed, this lovely creature's active friendship proves of high
consequence to me now, situated as I am with regard to a new whim of
the earl's. Had she not thus urged me, in obedience to my lord's
commands I should have been obliged to go alone, he having taken some
wild antipathy to Miss Egerton whose company he has interdicted. At
any rate, her parents would not have allowed me her society much
longer, for Mr. Montresor is to return this month.
"I shall not be easy, my dear count, until I hear from you. Pray
write soon, and inform me of every particular respecting the poor
general. Is he likely to recover?
"In all things, my loved son, in which I can serve you, remember that
I expect you will refer yourself to me as to a mother. Your own could
hardly have regarded you with deeper tenderness than does your
affectionate and faithful
"ADELIZA TINEMOUTH."
"GROSVENOR PLACE," _Thursday, midnight._
"Direct to me at Harwold Place, Wolds, Lincolnshire."
Several opposite emotions agitated the mind of Thaddeus whilst
reading this epistle,--increased abhorrence of the man whom he
believed to be his father, and distress at the increase of his
cruelty to his unhappy wife! Yet these could neither subdue the balmy
effect of her maternal affection towards himself nor wholly check the
emotion which the unusual mentioning of Miss Beaufort's name had
caused his heart to throb. He read the sentence which contained the
assurance of her esteem a third time.
"Delicious poison!" cried he, kissing the paper; "if adoring thee,
lovely Mary, be added to my other trials, I shall be resigned! There
is sweetness even in the thought. Could I credit all which my dear
lady Tinemouth affirms, the conviction that I possess one kind
solicitude in the mind of Miss Beaufort would be ample compensation
for---"
He did not finish the sentence, but sighing profoundly, rose from his
chair.
"For anything, except beholding her the bride of another!" was the
sentiment with which his heart swelled. Thaddeus had never known a
selfish wish in his life; and this first instance of his desiring
that good to be unappropriated which he might not himself enjoy, made
him start.
"There is an evil in my breast I wotted not of!" Dissatisfied with
himself at this, he was preparing to answer her ladyship's letter,
when turning to the date, he discovered that it had been written on
Thursday night, and in consequence of Nanny's neglect in not calling
at the coffee-house, had been delayed a day and a half before it
reached him.
His disappointment at this accident was severe. She was gone, and
Miss Beaufort along with her.
"Then, indeed, I am unfortunate. Yet this treasure!" cried he, fondly
clasping the separated bracelet in his hand; "it will, indeed, be a
representative of both--honored, beloved--to this deserted heart!"
He put the chain round his neck, and, with a true lover-like feeling,
thought that it warmed the heart which mortification had chilled; but
the fancy was evanescent, and he again turned to watch the fading
life of his friend.
During the lapse of a few days, in which the general appeared merely
to breathe, Thaddeus, instead of his attendance, despatched regular
notes of excuse to Harley Street. In answer to these, he commonly
received little tender billets from Euphemia, the strain of which he
seemed totally to overlook, by the cold respect he evinced in his
continued diurnal apologies for absence.
This young lady was so full of her own lamentations over the trouble
which her elegant tutor must endure in watching his sick friend, that
she never thought it worth while to mention in her notes any creature
in the house excepting herself, and her commiseration. Thaddeus
longed to inquire about Miss Beaufort; but the more he wished it, the
greater was his reluctance to write her name.
Things were in this situation, when one evening, as he was reading by
the light of a solitary candle in his little sitting-room, the door
opened, and Nanny stepped in, followed by a female wrapped in a large
black cloak. Thaddeus rose.
"A lady, sir," said Nanny, curtseying.
The moment the girl withdrew, the visitor cast herself into a chair,
and sobbing aloud, seemed in violent agitation. Thaddeus, astonished
and alarmed, approached her, and, though she was unknown, offered her
every assistance in his power.
Catching hold of the hand which, with the greatest respect, he
extended towards her, she instantly displayed to his dismayed sight
the features of Lady Sara Ross.
"Merciful Heaven!" exclaimed he, involuntarily starting back.
"Do not cast me off, Constantine!" cried she, clasping his arm, and
looking up to him with a face of anguish; "on you alone I now depend
for happiness--for existence!"
A cold damp stood on the forehead of her auditor.
"Dear Lady Sara, what am I to understand by this emotion; has
anything dreadful happened? Is Captain Ross--"
Lady Sara shuddered, and still grasping his hand, answered with words
every one of which palsied the heart of Thaddeus. "He is coming home.
He is now at Portsmouth. O, Constantine! I am not yet so debased as
to live with him when my heart is yours."
At this shameful declaration, Thaddeus clenched his teeth in agony of
spirit; and placing his hand upon his eyes, to shut her from his
sight, he turned suddenly round and walked towards another part of
the room.
Lady Sara followed him. Her cloak having fallen off, now displayed
her fine form in all the fervor of grief and distraction. She rung
her fair and jewelled arms in despair, and with accents rendered more
piercing by the anguish of her mind, exclaimed, "What! You hate me?
You throw me from you? Cruel, barbarous Constantine! Can you drive
from your feet the woman who adores you? Can you cast her who is
without a home into the streets?"
Thaddeus felt his hand wet with her tears. He fixed his eyes upon her
with almost delirious horror. Her hat being off, gave freedom to her
long black hair, which, falling in masses over her figure and face,
gave such additional wildness to the imploring and frantic expression
of her eyes, that his distracted soul felt reeling within him.
"Rise, madam! For Heaven's sake, Lady Sara!" and he stooped to raise
her.
"Never!" cried she, clinging to him--"never! till you promise to
protect me. My husband comes home to-night, and I have left his house
forever. You--you!" exclaimed she, extending her hand to his averted
face; "Oh, Constantine! you have robbed me of my peace! On your
account I have flown from my home. For mercy's sake, do not abandon
me!"
"Lady Sara," cried he, looking in desperation around him, "I cannot
speak to you in this position! Rise, I implore you!"
"Only," returned she, "only say that you will protect me!--that I
shall find shelter here! Say this, and I will rise and bless you
forever."
Thaddeus stood aghast, not knowing how to reply. Terror-struck at the
violent lengths to which she seemed determined to carry her unhappy
and guilty passion, he in vain sought to evade this direct demand.
Lady Sara, perceiving the reluctance and horror of his looks, sprang
from her knees, while in a more resolute voice she exclaimed, "Then,
sir, you will not protect me? You scorn and desert a woman whom you
well know has long loved you?--whom, by your artful behavior, you
have seduced to this disgrace!"
The count, surprised and shocked at this accusation, with gentleness,
but resolution, denied the charge.
Lady Sara again melted into tears, and supporting her tottering frame
against his shoulder, replied, in a stifled voice, "I know it well: I
have nothing to blame for my wretched state but my own weakness.
Pardon, dear Constantine, the dictates of my madness! Oh! I would
gladly owe such misery to any other source than myself!"
"Then, respected lady," rejoined Thaddeus, gaining courage from the
mildness of her manner, "let me implore you to return to your own
house!"
"Don't ask me," cried she, grasping his hand. "O, Constantine! if you
knew what it was to receive with smiles of affection a creature whom
you loathe, you would shrink with disgust from what you require. I
detest Captain Ross. Can I open my arms to meet him, when my heart
excludes him forever? Can I welcome him home when I wish him in his
grave?"
Sobieski extricated his hand from her grasp. Her ladyship perceived
the repugnance which dictated this action, and with renewed violence
ejaculated, "Unhappy woman that I am! to hate where I am loved! to
love where I am hated! Kill me, Constantine!" cried she, turning
suddenly towards him, and sinking clown on a chair, "but do not give
me such another look as that!"
"Dear Lady Sara," replied he, seating himself by her side, "what
would you have me do? You see that I have no proper means of
protecting you. I have no relations, no friends to receive you. You
see that I am a poor man. Besides, your character--"
"Talk not of my character!" cried she: "I will have none that does
not depend on you! Cruel Constantine! you will not understand me. I
want no riches, no friends, but yourself. Give me _your_ home
and _your_ arms," added she, throwing herself in an agony on his
bosom, "and beggary would be paradise! But I shall not bring you
poverty; I have inherited a fortune since I married Ross, on which he
has no claim."
Thaddeus now shrunk doubly from her. Why had she not felt a sacred
spell in that husband's name? He shuddered, and tore himself from her
clinging arms. Holding her off with his hand, he exclaimed, in a
voice of mental agony, "Infatuated woman! leave me, for his honor and
your own peace."
"No, no!" cried she, hoping she had gained some advantage over his
agitated feelings, and again casting herself at his feet, exclaimed,
"Never will I leave this spot till you consent that your home shall
be my home; that I shall serve you forever!"
Thaddeus pressed his hands upon his eyes, as if he would shut her
from his sight. But with streaming tears she added, while clasping
his other hand to her throbbing bosom, "Exclude me not from those
dear eyes! reject me not from being your true wife, your willing
slave!"
Thaddeus heard this, but he did not look on her, neither did he
answer. He broke from her, and fled, in a stupor of horror at his
situation, into the apartment where the general lay in a heavy sleep.
Little expecting to see anyone but the man she loved, Lady Sara
rushed in after him, and was again wildly pressing towards her
determined victim, when her eyes were suddenly arrested by a livid,
and, she thought, dead face of a person lying on the bed. Fixed to
the spot, she stood for a moment; then putting her spread hand on her
forehead, uttered a faint cry, and fell soul-struck to the floor.
Having instant conviction of her mistake, Thaddeus eagerly seized the
moment of her insensibility to convey her home. He hastily went to
the top of the stairs, called to Nanny to run for a coach, and then
returning to the extended figure of Lady Sara, lifted her in his arms
and carried her back to the room they had left.
By the help of a little water, he restored her to a sense of
existence. She slowly opened her eyes; then raising her head, looked
round with a terrified air, when her eye falling on the still open
door of the general's room, she caught Thaddeus by the arm, and said,
in a shuddering voice, "Oh! take me hence."
Whilst she yet spoke, the coach stopped at the door. The count rose,
and attempted to support her agitated frame on his arm; but she
trembled so, he was obliged to almost carry her down stairs.
When he placed her in the carriage, she said, in a faint tone, "You
surely will not leave me?"
Thaddeus made no reply; then desiring Nanny to sit by the general
until his return, which should be in a few minutes, and having
stepped into the coach, Lady Sara snatched his hand, while in
dismayed accents she quickly said,
"Who was that fearful person?"
"Alas! the revered friend whose long illness Lady Tinemouth has
sometimes mentioned in your presence."
Lady Sara shuddered again, but with a rush of tears, while she added
imploringly, "Then, whither are you going to take me?"
"You shall again, dear Lady Sara," replied he, "return to guiltless
and peaceful home."
"I cannot meet my husband," cried she, wringing her hands; "he will
see all my premeditated guilt in my countenance. O! Constantine, have
pity on me! Miserable creature that I am! It is horrible to live
without you! It is dreadful to live with him! Take me not home, I
entreat you!"
The count took her clasped hands in his, saying,
"Reflect for a moment. Lady Tinemouth's eulogiums on our first
acquaintance taught me to honor you. I believe that when you
distinguished me with any portion of your regard, it was in
consequence of virtues which you thought I possessed."
"Indeed, you do me justice!" cried she, with renewed energy.
He continued, feeling that he must be stern in words as well as in
purpose if he would really rescue her from herself. "Think, then,
should I yield to the influence of your beauty, and sink your
respected name to a level with those"--and he pointed to a group of
wretched women assembled at the corner of Pall-Mall. "Think, where
would be the price of your innocence? I being no longer worthy of
your esteem, you would hate yourself; and we should continue
together, two guilty creatures, abhorring each other, and justly
despised by a virtuous world."
Lady Sara sat as one dumb, and did not inarticulate any sound--except
the groan of horror which had shot through her when she had glanced
at those women--until the coach stopped in James's Place.
"Go in with me," were all the words she could utter, while, pulling
her veil over her face, she gave him her hand to assist her down the
steps.
"Is Captain Ross arrived?" asked Thaddeus of a servant, who, to his
great joy, replied in the negative. During the drive, he had alarmed
himself by anticipating the disagreeable suspicions which might rise
in the mind of the husband should he see his wife in her present
strange and distracted state.
When Thaddeus seated Lady Sara in her drawing room, he offered to
take a respectful leave; but she laid one hand on his arm, whilst
with the other she covered her convulsed features, and said,
"Constantine, before you go, before we part perhaps eternally, O!
tell me that you do not, even now, hate me!--that you do not hate
me!" repeated she, in a firmer tone; "I know too well how deeply I am
despised."
"Cease, ah, cease these vehement self-reproaches!" returned he,
tenderly replacing her on the sofa. "Shame does not depend on
possessing passions, but in yielding to them. You have conquered
yours, dear Lady Sara; and in future I must respect and love you like
a sister of my heart."
"Noble Constantine! there is no guile in thee," exclaimed she,
straining his hand to her lips. "May Heaven bless you wherever you
go!"
He dropped on his knees, imprinted on both her hands a true brother's
sacred kiss, and, hastily rising, was quitting the room without a
word, when he heard, in a short, low sound from her voice, "O, why
had I not a mother, a sister, to love and pity me! Should I have been
such a wretch as now?"
Thaddeus turned from the door at the tone and substance of this
apparently unconsciously uttered apostrophe. She was standing with
her hands clasped, and her eyes fixed on the ground. By an
irresistible impulse he approached her. "Lady Sara," said he, with a
tender reverence in his voice, "there is penitence and prayer to a
better Parent in those words! Look up to Him, and He will save you
from yourself, and bless you in your husband."
She did raise her eyes at this adjuration, and without one earthward
glance at her young monitor in their movement to the heaven she
sought. Neither did she speak, but pressed, with an unutterable
emotion, the hand which now held hers, while his own heart did indeed
silently re-echo the prayer he saw in her upward eyes. Turning gently
away, he glided, in a suffusion of grateful tears, out of the
apartment.