"O God, from whom all holy desires, all good counsels, and all just
works do proceed, give unto Thy servants that peace which the world
cannot give; that our hearts may be set to do Thy commandments, and
also that by Thee, we, being defended from the fear of our enemies, may
pass our time in rest and quietness, through the merits of Jesus Christ
our Saviour.
"O Lord, our heavenly Father, by whose almighty power we have been
preserved this day; by Thy great mercy defend us from all perils and
dangers of this night, for the love of Thy only Son, our Saviour,
Jesus Christ.
"O Lord, our heavenly father, the high and mighty Ruler of the Universe,
who dost from Thy throne behold all the dwellers upon earth, most
heartily we beseech Thee with Thy favour to behold and bless Thy servant
the President of the Confederate States, and all others in authority;
and so replenish them with the grace of Thy Holy Spirit that they may
always incline to Thy will, and walk in Thy way. Endue them plenteously
with heavenly gifts, grant them in health, and prosperity long to live;
and finally, after this life, to attain everlasting joy and felicity,
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
"O God, the Creator and Preserver of all mankind, we humbly beseech Thee
for all sorts and conditions of men; that Thou wouldst be pleased to
make Thy ways known unto them, Thy saving health to all nations. More
especially we pray for Thy holy church universal, that it may be so
guided and governed by Thy good Spirit, that all who profess and call
themselves Christians may be led into the way of truth, and hold the
faith in unity of spirit, in the bond of peace, and in righteousness of
life. Finally, we commend to Thy fatherly goodness all who are in any
ways afflicted or distressed in mind, body, or estate, that it may
please Thee to comfort and relieve them, according to their several
necessities, giving them patience under their sufferings, and a happy
issue out of all their afflictions. And this we beg for Christ's
sake. Amen."
While this impressive scene had lasted I stood in the darkness outside
of the group of men, fearing to be closely observed.
Here was a man whom one could surely trust; he was strong and he was
good. I began to feel glad that I was to be under him instead of
another. I was lucky. But for Dr. Frost and Captain Haskell, I should be
without a friend in the world. Another surgeon might have sent me to the
general hospital, whence I should have been remanded to duty; and
failing to know my regiment, I should have been apprehended as a
deserter. At the best, even if other people had recognized the nature of
my trouble, I should have been subjected then and always to the vulgar
curiosity which I so greatly dreaded. Here in Company H nobody would
know me except as an ordinary recruit.
The men of Company H scattered. I walked up to the Captain and said,
"Captain Haskell, I shall be proud to serve under you."
"Jones," said he, "we will not conclude this matter until Dr. Frost
sends you to me. It is possible that you will find your own company at
any day, or you may decide to serve elsewhere, even if you do not find
it. You are not under my orders until you come to me."
As we were returning to the hospital, the doctor asked me seriously,
"You insist that your name is Jones Berwick?"
"Yes, Doctor; my surname is Berwick, and my first name is Jones. How did
you get my name reversed?"
"On the diary taken from your pocket your name is written 'B. Jones,'"
he said.
"Will you let me see the diary?"
"I will give it to you as soon as we get to our camp. I ought to have
done so before."
The diary that the doctor gave me--I have it yet--is a small blank book
for the pocket, with date headings for the year 1862. Only a very few
dates in this book are filled with writing. On the fly-leaf is "B.
Jones," and nothing more, the leaf below the name having been all torn
away. The writing begins on May 23d, and ends with May 27th. The writing
has been done with a pencil. I copy below all that the book contains:--
"FRIDAY, May 23, 1862.
"Arrived after furlough. Drilled A.M. and P.M. Weather clear."
* * * * *
"SATURDAY, May 24, 1862.
"On camp guard. Letters from home. Showers. Marched at night."
"SUNDAY, May 25, 1862.
"Marched all day. Bivouacked in woods at night."
* * * * *
"MONDAY, May 26, 1862.
"Marched but a few miles. Weather bad. Day very hot. Heavy rain at
night."
* * * * *
"TUESDAY, May 27, 1862.
"Rain. Heard a battle ahead. Marched past Branch's brigade, that had
been fighting."
* * * * *
Each page in the book is divided into three sections.
After reading and rereading the writing again and again, I said to the
surgeon, "Doctor, I find it almost impossible to believe that I ever
wrote this. It looks like my writing, but I am certain that I could not
have written B. Jones as my name."
The Doctor smiled and handed me a pencil. "Now," said he, "take this
paper and write at my dictation."
He then read slowly the note under May 27th: "Rain. Heard a battle
ahead. Marched past Branch's brigade, that had been fighting."
"Now let us compare them," said he.
The handwriting in the book was similar to that on the paper.
"Well," said Dr. Frost, "do you still think your name is Jones Berwick?"
"I know it," I said; "that is one of the things that I do know."
"And if your handwriting had not resembled that of the book, what would
you have said?"
"That the book was never mine, of course."
"Yet that would have been no proof at all," said the doctor. "Many cases
have been known of patients whose handwriting had changed completely.
The truth is, that I did not expect to see you write as you did
just now."
"My name is Jones Berwick," was my reply.
"Strange!" said he; "I would bet a golden guinea that your name is
Berwick Jones. Some people cannot remember their names at all--any part
of their names. Others see blue for red. Others do this and do that;
there seems to be no limit to the vagaries of the mind. I'd rather risk
that signature which you made before you were hurt."
"My name is Jones Berwick, Doctor. This signature cannot be trusted. It
is full of suspicion. Don't you see that all the lower part of the leaf
has been torn off? What was it torn off for? Why, of course, to destroy
the name of the regiment to which the owner belonged! B. Jones is common
enough; Jones Berwick is not so common. I found it, or else it got into
my pocket by mistake. No wonder that a man named Jones is not
called for."
"But, Jones, how can you account for the writing, which is identical?
Even if we say that the signature is wrong, still we cannot account for
the rest unless you wrote it. It is very romantic, and all that, to say
that somebody imitated your handwriting in the body of the book, but it
is very far-fetched. Find some other theory."
"But see how few dates are filled!" I exclaimed.
"Yet the writing itself accounts for that. On May twenty-third you
began. You tell us that you had just returned from home, where you had
been on furlough. You left your former diary, if you had kept one, at
home. You end on May twenty-seventh, just a few days ago."
"My name is Jones Berwick," I said.
"By the by, let me see that book a moment."