Although the aversion which I had taken to the whole Culpepper family
was so great, that I could have done anything to annoy them, my mind was
now so fully occupied with the information which I had collected
relative to my supposed birth and parentage, that I could not think of
mischief.
I walked on the common or in the little garden during the whole of the
following day, plunged in deep thought, and at night, when I went to
bed, I remained awake till the dawn. During these last two days I had
thought and reflected more than I had perhaps done from the hour of my
birth.
That I was better off than I should have been if I had been the son of a
private in the marines, I felt convinced; but still I had a feeling that
I was in a position in which I might be subjected to much insult, and
that, unless I was acknowledged by my aristocratic parent, my connection
with his family would be of no use to me;--and Captain Delmar, how was I
to behave to him? I did not like him much, that was certain, nor did
this new light which had burst forth make me feel any more love for him
than I did before. Still my mother's words at Chatham rung in my ears,
"Do you know who it is that you have been?" etcetera. I felt sure that
he was my father, and I felt a sort of duty towards him; perhaps an
increase of respect.
These were anxious thoughts for a boy not fourteen; and the Culpeppers
remarked, that I had not only looked very pale, but had actually grown
thin in the face during my short stay.
As I was very quiet and reserved after the first day, they were very
glad when my clothes were brought home, and I was reported ready to
embark; so was I, for I wanted to go on board and see my friend Tommy
Dott, with whom I intended, if the subject was brought up, to consult as
to my proceedings, or perhaps I thought it would be better to consult
Bob Cross, the captain's coxswain; I was not sure that I should not
advise with them both.
I had made up my mind how to behave to my mother. I knew that she would
never acknowledge the truth, after what had passed between the captain
and her when I was present; but I was resolved that I would let her know
that I was in the secret; and I thought that the reply to me would be a
guide as to the correctness of the fact, which, with all the hastiness
of boyhood, I considered as incontrovertible, although I had not the
least positive proof.
The day that I was to go on board, I requested Miss Culpepper to give me
a sheet of paper, that I might write to my mother; she supplied me very
readily, saying, "You had better let me see if you make any mistake in
your spelling before the letter goes; your mamma will be so pleased if
you write your letter properly." She then went down into the kitchen to
give some orders.
As I had not the slightest intention that she should read what I wrote,
and resolved to have it in the post before she came up again, I was very
concise in my epistle, which was as follows:--
"Dear Mother:--I have found it all out--I am the son of Captain
Delmar, and everyone here knows what you have kept a secret from me.
I go on board to-day.
"Yours truly, P. KEENE."
This was very short, and, it must be admitted, direct to the point. I
could not perhaps have written one which was so calculated to give my
mother uneasiness.
As soon as it was finished, I folded it up, and lighted a taper to seal
it. Old Mrs Culpepper, who was in the room, croaked out, "No, no; you
must show it to Medea." But I paid no attention to her, and having
sealed my letter, put on my hat, and walked out to the post-office. I
dropped it into the box, and, on returning, found Mr Culpepper coming
home, accompanied by Bob Cross, the captain's coxswain, and two of the
boat's crew.
As I presumed, they were sent for me; I joined them immediately, and was
kindly greeted by Bob Cross, who said:--
"Well, Mr Keene, are you all ready for shipping? We've come for your
traps."
"All ready," replied I, "and very glad to go, for I'm tired of staying
on shore doing nothing."
We were soon at the house; the seamen carried away my chest and bedding,
while Bob Cross remained a little while, that I might pay my farewell to
the ladies.
The ceremony was not attended with much regret on either side. Miss
Culpepper could not help asking me why I did not show her my letter, and
I replied, that there were secrets in it, which answer did not at all
add to her good temper; our adieus were, therefore, anything but
affectionate, and before the men with my effects were a hundred yards in
advance, Bob Cross and I were at their heels.
"Well, Master Keene," said Bob, as we wended our way across South Sea
Common, "how do you like the purser's ladies?"
"Not at all," replied I; "they have done nothing but try to pump me the
whole time I have been there; but they did not make much of it."
"Women will be curious, Master Keene--pray what did they try to pump
about?"
I hardly knew how to reply, and I hesitated. I felt a strong
inclination towards Bob Cross, and I had before reflected whether I
should make him my confidant; still, I was undecided and made no reply,
when Bob Cross answered for me:--
"Look ye, child--for although you're going on the quarter-deck, and I am
before the mast, you are a child compared to me--I can tell you what
they tried to pump about, as well as you can tell me, if you choose.
According to my thinking, there's no lad on board the frigate that will
require good advice as you will; and I tell you candidly, you will have
your cards to play. Bob Cross is no fool, and can see as far through a
fog as most chaps; I like you for yourself as far as I see of you, and I
have not forgotten your mother's kindness to me, when she had her own
misery to occupy her thoughts; not that I wanted the money--it wasn't
the money, but the way and the circumstances under which it was given.
I told you I'd look after you a bit--a bit means a great deal with me--
and so I will, if you choose that I shall; if not, I shall touch my hat
to you, as my officer, which won't help you very much. So, now you have
to settle, my lad, whether you will have me as your friend, or not."
The appeal quite decided me. "Bob Cross," replied I. "I do wish to
make you my friend; I thought of it before, but I did not know whether
to go to you or to Tommy Dott."
"Tommy Dott! Well, Master Keene, that's not very flattering, to put me
in one scale, and Tommy Dott in the other; I'm not surprised at its
weighing down in my favour. If you wish to get into mischief you can't
apply to a better hand than Tommy Dott; but Tommy Dott is not half so
fit to advise you, as you are, I expect, to advise him; so make him your
playmate and companion, if you please, but as to his advice, it's not
worth asking. However, as you have given me the preference, I will now
tell you that the Culpepper people have been trying to find out who is
your father. Ain't I right?"
"Yes, you are," replied I.
"Well, then, this is no time to talk about such things; we shall be down
to the boat in another minute, so we'll say no more at present; only
recollect, when you are on board, if they talk about appointing a man to
take charge of your hammock, say that Bob Cross, the captain's coxswain,
is, you understand, to be the person; say that and no more. I will tell
you why by-and-by, when we have time to talk together and if any of your
messmates say anything to you on the same point which the Culpeppers
have been working at, make no reply and hold yourself very stiff. Now,
here we are at the sally port, so there's an end to our palaver for the
present."
My chest and bedding were already in the boat, and as soon as Cross and
I had stepped in he ordered the bowman to shove off; in half an hour we
arrived alongside the frigate, which lay at Spithead, bright with new
paint, and with her pennant proudly flying to the breeze.
"You'd better follow me, sir, and mind you touch your hat when the
officers speak to you," said Bob Cross, ascending the accommodation
ladder. I did so, and found myself on the quarter deck, in the presence
of the first lieutenant and several of the officers.
"Well, Cross," said the first lieutenant.
"I've brought a young gentleman on board to join the ship. Captain
Delmar has, I believe, given his orders about him."
"Mr Keene, I presume?" said the first lieutenant, eyeing me from head
to foot.
"Yes, sir," replied I, touching my hat.
"How long have you been at Portsmouth?"
"Three days, sir; I have been staying at Mr Culpepper's."
"Well, did you fall in love with Miss Culpepper?"
"No, sir," replied I; "I hate her."
At this answer the first lieutenant and the officers near him burst out
a-laughing.
"Well, youngster, you must dine with us in the gun-room to-day; and
where's Mr Dott?"
"Here, sir," said Tommy Dott, coming from the other side of the
quarter-deck.
"Mr Dott, take this young gentleman down below, and show him the
midshipmen's berth. Let me see, who is to take care of his hammock?"
"I believe that Bob Cross is to take care of it, sir," said I.
"The captain's coxswain--humph. Well, that's settled at all events;
very good--we shall have the pleasure of your company to dinner, Mr
Keene. Why, Mr Dott and you look as if you knew each other."
"Don't we, Tommy?" said I to the midshipman, grinning.
"I suspect that there is a pair of you," said the first lieutenant,
turning aft and walking away; after which Tommy and I went down the
companion ladder as fast as we could, and in a few seconds afterwards
were sitting together on the same chest, in most intimate conversation.
My extreme resemblance to our honourable captain was not unobserved by
the officers who were on the quarter-deck at the time of my making my
appearance; and, as I afterwards heard from Bob Cross, he was sent for
by the surgeon, on some pretence or another, to obtain any information
relative to me. What were Bob Cross's reasons for answering as he did I
could not at that time comprehend, but he explained them to me
afterwards.
"Who brought him down, Cross?" said the surgeon, carelessly.
"His own mother, sir; he has no father, sir, I hear."
"Did you see her? What sort of a person was she?"
"Well, sir," replied Bob Cross, "I've seen many ladies of quality, but
such a real lady I don't think I ever set my eyes upon before; and such
a beauty--I'd marry to-morrow if I could take in tow a craft like her."
"How did they come down to Portsmouth?"
"Why, sir, she came down to Portsmouth in a coach and four; but she
walked to the George Hotel, as if she was nobody."
This was not a fib on the part of the coxswain, for we came down by the
Portsmouth coach; it did, however, deceive the surgeon, as was intended.
"Did you see anything of her, Cross?"
"Not when she was with the captain, sir, but at her own lodgings I did;
such a generous lady I never met with."
A few more questions were put, all of which were replied to in much the
same strain by the coxswain, so as to make out my mother to be a very
important and mysterious personage. It is true that Tommy Dott could
have contradicted all this; but, in the first place, it was not very
likely that there would be any communication upon the point between him
and the officers; and in the next I cautioned him to say nothing about
what he knew, which, as he was strongly attached to me, he strictly
complied with: so Bob Cross completely mystified the surgeon, who, of
course, made his report to his messmates.
Mr Culpepper's report certainly differed somewhat from that of Bob
Cross. There was my statement of my aunt being married to a marine
officer--but it was my statement; there was also my statement of my
mother residing with Captain Delmar's aunt; altogether there was doubt
and mystery; and it ended in my mother being supposed to be a much
greater person than she really was--everything tending to prove her a
lady of rank being willingly received, and all counter-statements looked
upon as apocryphal and false.
But whoever my mother might be, on one point every one agreed, which
was, that I was the son of the Honourable Captain Delmar, and on this
point I was equally convinced myself. I waited with some anxiety for my
mother's reply to my letter, which arrived two days after I had joined
the frigate. It was as follows:--
"My dear Percival:--
"You little know the pain and astonishment which I felt upon receipt
of your very unkind and insulting letter; surely you could not have
reflected at the time you wrote it, but must have penned it in a
moment of irritation arising from some ungenerous remark which has
been made in your hearing.
"Alas, my dear child, you will find, now that you have commenced your
career in life, that there are too many whose only pleasure is to
inflict pain upon their fellow-creatures. I only can imagine that
some remark has been made in your presence, arising from there being a
similarity of features between you and the Honourable Captain Delmar;
that there is so has been before observed by others. Indeed your
uncle and aunt Bridgeman were both struck with the resemblance, when
Captain Delmar arrived at Chatham; but this proves nothing, my dear
child--people are very often alike, who have never seen each other, or
heard each other mentioned, till they have by accident been thrown
together so as to be compared.
"It may certainly be, as your father was in the service of Captain
Delmar, and constantly attended upon him, and indeed I may add as I
was occasionally seeing him, that the impression of his countenance
might be constantly in our memory, and--but you don't understand such
questions, and therefore I will say no more, except that you will
immediately dismiss from your thoughts any such idea.
"You forget, my dearest boy, that you are insulting me by supposing
any such thing, and that your mother's honour is called in question; I
am sure you never thought of that when you wrote those hasty and
inconsiderate lines. I must add, my dear boy, that knowing Captain
Delmar, and how proud and sensitive he is, if it should ever come to
his knowledge that you had suspected or asserted what you have, his
favour and protection would be lost to you for ever: at present he is
doing a kind and charitable action in bringing forward the son of a
faithful servant; but if he imagined for a moment that you were
considered related to him he would cast you off for ever, and all your
prospects in life would be ruined.
"Even allowing it possible that you were what you so madly stated
yourself in your letter to be, I am convinced he would do so. If such
a report came to his ears, he would immediately disavow you, and leave
you to find your own way in the world.
"You see, therefore, my dear boy, how injurious to you in every way
such a ridiculous surmise must prove, and I trust that, not only for
your own sake, but for your mother's character, you will, so far from
giving credence, indignantly disavow what must be a source of mischief
and annoyance to all parties.
"Captain Bridgeman desires me to say, that he is of my opinion, so is
your aunt Milly: as for your grandmother, of course, I dare not show
her your letter. Write to me, my dear boy, and tell me how this
unfortunate mistake happened, and believe me to be your affectionate
mother, ARABELLA KEENE."
I read this letter over ten times before I came to any conclusion; at
last I said to myself, there is not in any one part of it any positive
denial of the fact, and resolved some future day, when I had had some
conversation with Bob Cross, to show it to him, and ask his opinion.