As soon as it was ascertained that Mr O'Gallagher was gone, my
grandmother insisted upon my being sent to another school, and on this
occasion my mother made the inquiries herself, and I was despatched to
one much nearer home, and being treated well, not only played fewer
tricks, but advanced rapidly in my education; so rapidly indeed, that my
grandmother began to think that I was not so bad a boy as I used to be.
As she treated me more kindly, I felt less inclined to teaze her
although the spirit of mischief was as undiminished as ever, and was
shown in various ways.
I may as well here observe, that out of the many admirers of my aunt
Milly, there were only two who appeared to be at all constant in their
attention. One was Lieutenant Flat, who was positively smitten, and
would have laid his pay and person at her feet, had he received anything
like encouragement; but my aunt disliked him in the first place, and,
moreover, had a very strong feeling towards Captain Bridgeman.
Mr Flat was certainly a very fine-looking soldier, being tall, erect,
and well-made, but he was at the same time not over-brilliant; he was,
as an officer, the very sort of person my father Ben was as a private.
But the other party, Captain Bridgeman, did not come forward; he
appeared to be in doubt, and not at all able to make up his mind.
The fact was, that my mother being married to a private, made any match
with the sister objectionable to the whole corps, as it would be
derogatory that one sister should be the wife of a private, and the
other of an officer. Ben would have been able to say, "My
brother-in-law, the captain of my division," which would never have
done; and this Captain Bridgeman felt, and therefore resisted, as well
as he could, the inroads which my aunt's beauty and mirth had made into
his heart. My aunt was exactly a person to suit Captain Bridgeman as a
helpmate, had it not been for this unfortunate alliance of my mother's.
Lieutenant Flat was too stupid and indifferent to the opinion of the
other officers, to care anything about what they thought; he would have
married Milly long before, but my aunt, who had made up her mind to
marry an officer, did not yet despair of obtaining the captain; and
although she would not positively dismiss Lieutenant Flat, she merely
kept him as a sort of reserve, to fall back upon when every other chance
was gone.
I should like, if I possibly could, to give the reader some idea of my
mother's circulating-library and sort of universal commodity shop: it
was a low-windowed building, one story high, but running a long way
back, where it was joined to a small parlour, in which we generally sat
during the day, as it was convenient in case of company or customers,
the little parlour having a glass door, which permitted us to look into
the shop.
In the front windows, on one side, were all the varieties of tapers,
sealing-wax, inkstands, and every kind of stationery, backed by
children's books, leather writing-cases, prints, caricatures, and
Tonbridge ware. In the other windows were ribbons, caps, gloves,
scarfs, needles, and other little articles in demand by ladies, and
which they required independent of their milliners.
At the entrance were sticks and canes; on the counter a case of gold and
more moderate-priced trinkets. On the shelves of the millinery side
were boxes of gloves, ribbons, buttons, etcetera. On the opposite side,
perfumes, cigars, toothbrushes, combs, scented soaps, and other
requisites for the toilet.
About ten feet on each side of the shop was occupied with the above
articles; the remainder of the shelves were reserved for the
circulating-library.
At the back of the shop were some seats round a small table, on which
was laid the newspaper of the day, and on each side of the parlour-door
were hoops, bats, balls, traps, skittles, and a variety of toys for
children.
My mother usually attended to the millinery, and my aunt Milly to what
might be termed the gentlemen's side of the shop; the remainder of the
goods and circulating-library were in the hands of both.
There were few hours of the day in which the chairs at the counter and
round the table were not taken possession of by some one or another,
either reading the paper or a book, or talking, to pass away the time.
In fact, it was a sort of rendezvous, where all who met knew each other,
and where the idle of our own sex used to repair to get rid of their
time. Captain Bridgeman and Mr Flat were certainly the two most
constantly to be found there, although few of the marine officers were a
day without paying us a visit.
Such was the _locale_; to describe the company will be more difficult,
but I will attempt it.
My mother, remarkably nicely dressed, is busy opening a parcel of new
books just arrived. My aunt Milly behind the counter, on the
gentlemen's side, pretending to be working upon a piece of muslin about
five inches square. Mr Flat sitting near the table, fallen back in his
chair, apparently watching the flies on the ceiling. Captain Bridgeman,
a very good-looking man, very slight, but extremely active, is sitting
at the counter opposite to where my aunt is standing, a small black
cane, with a silver head to it, in his hand, and his gloves peculiarly
clean and well-fitting. He has an eye as sharp as an eagle's, a slight
hook to his nose, thin lips, and very white teeth; his countenance is as
full of energy and fire as that of lieutenant Flat is heavy and
unmeaning.
"Miss Amelia, if I may take the liberty," said Captain Bridgeman,
pointing with his cane to the bit of muslin she is employed upon; "what
are you making? it's too small for any part of a lady's dress."
"It is quite large enough for a cuff, Captain Bridgeman."
"A cuff; then you are making a cuff, I presume?"
"Indeed she is not, Captain Bridgeman," replies my mother; "it is only
to keep herself out of mischief. She spoils a bit like that every week.
And that's why it is so small, Captain Bridgeman; it would be a pity to
spoil a larger piece."
"I really was not aware that such a mere trifle would keep you out of
mischief," said the captain.
"You know," replied Aunt Milly, "that idleness is the root of all evil,
Captain Bridgeman."
"Flat, do you hear that?" says Captain Bridgeman.
"What?" replies Flat.
"That idleness is the root of all evil; what an evil-disposed person you
must be."
"I was thinking," replied Flat.
"I suspect it's only lately you've taken to that. Who or what were you
thinking about?"
"Well, I believe I was thinking how long it would be before dinner was
ready."
"That's very rude, Mr Flat; you might have said that you were thinking
about me," replied my aunt.
"Well, so I was at first, and then I began to think of dinner-time."
"Don't be offended, Miss Amelia; Flat pays you a great compliment in
dividing his attentions; but I really wish to know why ladies will spoil
muslin in such a predetermined manner. Will you explain that, Mrs
Keene?"
"Yes, Captain Bridgeman: a piece of work is very valuable to a woman,
especially when she finds herself in company with gentlemen like you.
It saves her from looking down, or looking at you, when you are talking
nonsense; it prevents your reading in her eyes what is passing in her
mind, or discovering what effect your words may have upon her; it saves
much awkwardness, and very often a blush; sometimes a woman hardly knows
which way to look; sometimes she may look any way but the right. Now a
bit of muslin with a needle is a remedy for all that, for she can look
down at her work, and not look up till she thinks it advisable."
"I thank you for your explanation, madam; I shall always take it as a
great compliment if I see a lady very busy at work when I'm conversing,
with her."
"But you may flatter yourself, Captain Bridgeman," replied my mother;
"the attention to her work may arise from perfect indifference, or from
positive annoyance. It saves the trouble of making an effort to be
polite."
"And pray, may I inquire, Miss Amelia, what feeling may cause your
particular attention to your work at this present moment?"
"Perhaps in either case to preserve my self-possession," replied Amelia;
"or perhaps, Captain Bridgeman, I may prefer looking at a piece of
muslin to looking at a marine officer."
"That's not very flattering," replied the captain; "if you spoil the
muslin, you're determined not to spoil me."
"The muslin is of little value," said Amelia, softly, walking to the
other side of the shop, and turning over the books.
"Mr Flat," said my mother, "your subscription to the library is out
last month; I presume I can put your name down again?"
"Well, I don't know; I never read a book," replied Mr Flat, yawning.
"That's not at all necessary, Mr Flat," said my mother; "in most
businesses there are sleeping partners; besides, if you don't read, you
come here to talk, which is a greater enjoyment still, and luxuries must
be paid for."
"Well, I'll try another quarter," replied Mr Flat, "and then--"
"And then what?" said my aunt Milly, smiling.
"Well, I don't know," says Flat. "Is that clock of yours right, Mrs
Keene?"
"It is; but I am fearful that your thoughts run faster than the clock,
Mr Flat; you are thinking of the dress-bugle for dinner."
"No, I was not."
"Then you were thinking of yourself?"
"No, I wasn't, Mrs Keene," said Flat, rising, and walking out of the
shop.
"I'll tell you," said he, turning round as he went out, "what I was
thinking of, Mrs Keene; not of myself,--I was thinking of my bull pup."
My mother burst out a laughing as the lieutenant disappeared. "I was
not far wrong when I said he was thinking of himself," said she, "for a
_calf_ is a sort of _bull pup_."
At this sally Captain Bridgeman laughed, and danced about the shop; at
last he said, "Poor Flat! Miss Amelia, he's desperately in love with
you."
"That's more than I am with him," said Amelia, calmly.
Here two ladies came in.
Captain Bridgeman made a most polite bow. "I trust Mrs Handbell is
quite well and Miss Handbell--I hardly need ask the question with the
charming colour you have?"
"Captain Bridgeman, you appear to live in this library; I wonder Mrs
Keene don't take you into partnership."
"If I were not honoured with the custom of Mrs Handbell and other
ladies; I fear that my shop would have little attraction for gentlemen,"
replied my mother, with a courtesy.
"Mrs Keene is quite correct in her surmise, Miss Handbell," said
Captain Bridgeman, "now that I have seen you, I shall not think my
morning thrown away."
"If report says true, Captain Bridgeman," replied Mrs Handbell, "you
would be quite as often here, even if no ladies were to be customers of
Mrs Keene. Mrs Keene, have you any of that narrow French ribbon
left?"
"I think I have, madam; it was off this piece, was it not?"
"Yes; but I really don't know exactly how much I require; perhaps you
will measure it and allow me to return what is left?"
"Certainly, madam; will you take it with you, or shall I send it?"
"I wish for it directly; will you be very long in measuring it, for I
ought to be home now?"
"Perhaps you'll have the kindness to measure what you take off yourself,
madam," replied my mother, "and then you need not wait."
"You put confidence in me, I observe, Mrs Keene," replied Mrs
Handbell; "well, I will do you justice."
My mother smiled most graciously, put the piece of ribbon in paper, and
handed it to Mrs Handbell, who, bowing to Captain Bridgeman, quitted
the shop.
"I wonder whether you would trust me in that way?" said Captain
Bridgeman to my mother.
"I don't think I should; Amelia says you will help yourself to cigars
and that she is sure you cheat when you count them."
"Does she really say that? Well, I did think that if there was any one
who would have upheld my character, it would have been Miss Amelia."
"Perhaps, Captain Bridgeman, she is getting tired of so doing."
"Or tired of me, Mrs Keene, which would be worse still. Here comes a
fair young lady--Miss Evans, if I mistake not; I believe she is a good
customer to your library?"
"She reads a great deal, and is therefore only a customer to the
library."
"Ladies who are fond of reading are seldom fond of working."
"Good morning Miss Evans," said Captain Bridgeman; "you come for more
food for the mind, I presume?" (Miss Evans gave a bob, and turned to my
mother.)
"Have you anything new, Mrs Keene? I have brought back the three
volumes of Godolphin."
"Yes, miss, I have some books down to-day."
While Miss Evans was selecting from the new books, enter Mr Jones, Mr
Smith, and Mr Claville, of the marine corps, for cigars. Amelia comes
out to attend them--they purchase a few articles, and are talking very
loud, when three more ladies enter the shop, all for books.
It being now about three o'clock, the customers and loungers come in
fast. Captain Bridgeman saunters away in company with his brother
officers; other parties enter, who are succeeded by fresh claimants for
books or the other articles to be procured in the repository.
This demand continues till about five o'clock, when the library becomes
empty; I come home from school, my father slinks in from barracks, and
my mother and sister return to the back parlour, where they find my
grandmother, as usual, very busy with her knitting.
Such is a fair sample of what took place at our shop every succeeding
day. My mother made few bad debts, and rapidly added to her savings.
My aunt Milly still balancing between the certainty of Lieutenant Flat
and the chance of Captain Bridgeman, and I dividing my time and talents
between learning and contriving mischief.