[Illustration: THE PARLIAMENTARY FEMALE.
_Father of the Family_. "COME, DEAR; WE SO SELDOM GO OUT TOGETHER
NOW--CAN'T YOU TAKE US ALL TO THE PLAY TO-NIGHT?"
_Mistress of the House and M.P._ "HOW YOU TALK, CHARLES! DON'T YOU SEE
THAT I AM TOO BUSY? I HAVE A COMMITTEE TOMORROW MORNING, AND I HAVE MY
SPEECH ON THE GREAT CROCHET QUESTION TO PREPARE FOR THE EVENING."
_"Punch's Almanack" for 1853._]
* * * * *
[Illustration: AN ASTONISHING REQUEST.
_Fast young lady (to old gent)_. "HAVE YOU SUCH A THING AS A LUCIFER
ABOUT YOU, FOR I'VE LEFT MY CIGAR-LIGHTS AT HOME?"
[_"Punch," August 29, 1857._]
* * * * *
[Illustration: NOT VERY LIKELY.
_Mistress_. "WELL, I'M SURE! AND PRAY WHO IS THAT?"
_Cook_. "OH, IF YOU PLEASE, 'M, IT'S ONLY MY COUSIN WHO HAS CALLED
JUST TO SHOW ME HOW TO BOIL A POTATO."
_"Punch," August 31, 1850._]
* * * * *
[Illustration: OUR SPECIALS.
_Special Constable._ "NOW MIND, YOU KNOW--IF I KILL YOU, IT'S NOTHING;
BUT IF YOU KILL ME, BY JINGO, IT'S MURDER."
_"Punch," April 22, 1848._]
* * * * *
[Illustration: A PEACE CONFERENCE.
_Flora._ "OH, I AM SO GLAD--DEAR HARRIET--THERE IS A CHANCE OF
PEACE--I AM MAKING THESE SLIPPERS AGAINST DEAR ALFRED COMES BACK!"
_Cousin Tom._ "HAH, WELL! I AIN'T QUITE SO ANXIOUS ABOUT PEACE--FOR,
YOU SEE, SINCE THOSE SOLDIER CHAPS HAVE BEEN ABROAD, WE CIVILIANS HAVE
HAD IT PRETTY MUCH OUR OWN WAY WITH THE GURLS!"
_"Punch," March 22, 1856._]
* * * * *
[Illustration: HOME AMUSEMENTS.